Flesh: Part Three (The Flesh Series Book 3) (3 page)

He pulls away from
me, looking smug, and all I can do is lay there and recover as he
takes my underwear off. If there was any question about whether I was
going to try to resist him again, I think my lack of movement answers
it. I'm not going anywhere until he kicks me out. He's won me over
completely. I am his.

I watch as he peels
his shirt off, a delicious wall of muscle greeting me. It's strange
seeing him like this, like I'm watching a movie—not a part of
what's going on at all. Guys like him aren't meant for girls like me.
This doesn't feel real, and yet it is. He's just finished pleasuring
me, and now he's taking off his clothes, preparing to get his. My
clit pulses at the thought. It's been close to seven years since I
last slept with anyone, and I'm about to give myself to him.
Practically a stranger. What's wrong with me?

I'll blame it on
pent-up sexual frustration and sort out my emotions later. For now,
there's no way I'm giving this up. I've earned it. From being good
for so long. For holding out for...love that doesn't exist. I can
have this fuck. This one night with a devastatingly gorgeous man. I
can allow myself to enjoy myself, even if subconsciously I don't
think it's right.

Lucian climbs off of
the bed and unbuttons his pants. The way he's looking at me is
telling that he's putting on a show. He wants me to see every inch of
his naked body, to soak it in before it's on top of me, claiming me,
inside of me. The thought is maddening, that I'm going to make love
to this sexy God of a man. Not make love, but have sex. Making love
is reserved for those you love. Having sex is...

Stop it, Amy.
You're ruining it. Just enjoy it for what it is.

His pants come down,
followed by his boxers. Good Lord! My excitement turns into
apprehension as I lay my eyes on the monster that springs out to
greet me. He's bigger than David was. By a lot. Holy crap! It's like
a weapon of mass destruction.

When he finishes
undressing, he crawls back up onto the bed. My eyes are fixed on his
cock, my stomach churning with a mixture of fear and arousal. It's
been a long time since I've seen one. And I've definitely never seen
one this big in person. It is kind of nice though, thick and long and
veiny with the slightest curve to the right. Perfectly proportioned
with a smooth helmet and heavy balls that aren't too saggy. It may
seem superficial, but I have a thing about saggy balls. His aren't
though. I like them.

He carefully
maneuvers his way between my legs, and my heartbeat begins to speed
up as I realize that this is actually going to happen. We're really
going to have sex.

Lucian leans over
me, placing one hand next to my armpit and grabbing the base of his
shaft with the other hand. Internally, I'm panicking, still not sure
if this is really what I want. He's sexy and perfect, but I'm worried
about what this is going to do to me emotionally.

“
You're
not going to put on a condom?” I blurt out the second I feel
his glans nudge between my pussy lips.

He stalls, quirking
an eyebrow at me as if the very notion is offensive. “We're
both clean, and you're on birth control.”

My mouth falls
agape. “You remembered that I'm on birth control, but you
couldn't remember my name from last night?”

“
I
just remember the important stuff.”

What an asshole
thing to say right before you're about to have sex with someone. “Get
off.” I glare at him.

“
Oh,
I plan to.”

“
No.
Get off of me.” I bring my bound hands around and shove at his
chest.

He doesn't budge. In
fact, he just stares at me blankly for a moment before forcing my
hands back over my head. I don't struggle.

“
I
was just playing, okay?” He gives me a serious look.

“
It
wasn't funny.” I seethe.

He drops himself
down onto his elbow beside me, though his body is still hovering. He
smiles, that infuriatingly charming smile. “You're kind of
feisty.”

I want to tell him
that he's kind of an asshole, but I don't.

“
You
want me to fuck you. I can see it in your eyes.” He lets go of
his dick to caress my face. The gesture is less than romantic. In
fact, it's so ripe with arrogance that I want to huff. He must have
caught the disdain in my expression, because he grabs my jaw and
forces me to look at him. “Hey, if you really don't want this,
we don't have to do it. I don't want you to feel forced. But please
know that this is what I want.”

I feel like I've
backed myself up against a wall by giving in to him too much. If I
reject him now, my chance of scoring him as a client is as good as
gone. I need to do this, for everyone at Environ Design.

“
It's
fine,” I reply halfheartedly.

He kisses me on the
forehead and props himself up on his arm again, reclaiming his
pre-fucking stance. As soon as I feel his tip touching my pussy lips,
the internal panicking continues.

This is wrong.
No, this is right. I want this. No, I don't. I'm just doing it to
make sure I secure the contract. You're doing it because you haven't
been laid in forever, and you're never going to get a chance like
this again.

Everything melts
away when he pushes forward. His dick doesn't penetrate me
completely. His glans just pops inside, stretching me, bringing me
back to reality.

“
Jesus
Christ, you're tight.” He looks at me with disbelief, as if he
expected me to be some loose hoebag, which only makes me feel worse.

I don't know what to
say, but I'm sure that my expression speaks volumes. I remember sex
being uncomfortable, at least my first time, but not like this. It
feels like he's ripping me apart, but I know it will be better once
he's all the way in.

“
Don't
stop,” I tell him between gritted teeth.

He rests his
forehead against mine, takes a deep breath, and then plunges all the
way into me. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the
room. Fire rages between my legs, rivaling the pain that I
experienced when I twisted my ankle. I'm so full of cock that there's
no room for anything else.

“
Does
it hurt?” he asks, looking at me with concern.

“
Yes.”

“
Do
you want me to stop?”

“
No.”
I shake my head.

My eyes are brimming
with tears—a mix of physical and emotional pain. He cares for
me, yet he doesn't. Cares for me the way one human being cares for
another. As a woman, I'm nothing to him. Just a conquest. I'm not
sure why that thought bothers me so much right now, but it does. I
feel like one of those pathetic mopey girls that loses her virginity
to the guy who isn't the man of her dreams and then begins crying
immediately afterward. Except that I'm not a virgin. I did lose my
virginity to the man of my dreams. What's happening now is just
irrational.

He begins moving on
top of me, and I dig my nails into the leather of his belt to help
distract me from the pain. Hopefully, I don't ruin the belt, or he
might not sign with me. That's probably what's really causing the
emotional avalanche. I feel like everything that's happening between
us is directly associated with my job. It makes me feel pathetic and
desperate and powerless, all at the same time.

He stops abruptly,
and I gaze up at him. “You need to relax. Are you sure you're
alright?”

The tears I've been
holding back spill over, and I let out a bellowing sob, which
immediately makes him get off of me and pull me into his arms. My
injured foot drags across the bed as he sits me up, and it only makes
me cry harder. I feel so embarrassed and overwhelmed. I don't know
what's wrong with me.

“
Shh.
It's alright.” He holds me against his chest and strokes my
hair. His heart is beating rapidly, like he's afraid. Maybe he thinks
he forced me into having sex with him. I kind of want him to think
that, even though it's not true. Nothing matters right now but
getting all the poisonous tears out of my system.

I cry for what feels
like forever, and he comforts me the best that he can. What started
out as a sexy afternoon has ended in an absolute nightmare. If he
doesn't accept the contract, I won't blame him. This was supposed to
be all about making things as stress-free for him as possible, and I
ruined it. Again. Derrick and Tyra are going to be so disappointed in
me.

Lucian kisses me on
top of the head. Even after I stop sobbing, he continues to hold me,
stroking my hair and rubbing my back until I feel soothed and
exhausted. I don't want this moment to end. Soon, things will become
awkward and strained. I can't stay here forever though. I have to
face the mistake I've made, the mistake of thinking I could just give
myself to him and that everything would be alright afterward. It's
not alright. I compromised myself too much. And all for what, a bonus
that I don't really need. Friends who will eventually forgive me.

“
I'm
sorry.” I pull away from his chest and wriggle free from his
belt to rub my eyes with the back of my hand.

He takes the belt
and tosses it off of the bed, then continues rubbing my back. “Don't
worry about it. I know I might have come off a little intense.”

“
It's
not that.” I shake my head. Since I already screwed up getting
the contract, I might as well gush. “It's just that this
contract is so important to my company. I swear I didn't plot this,
make that appointment with you at Flesh to make sure that you'd sign
with me. It was all a freak coincidence, and when I saw you, I
just...” my voice trails off. I'm so frazzled that I'm not even
sure what I'm trying to say.

“
I
believe you,” he tells me, though I'm not sure it's the truth.

My shoulders slump,
and I sniffle. “I didn't come here trying to seduce you. And I
didn't mean for this to happen. I just...”

“
Are
you sure?” He pinches the side of my plunging neckline that's
not holding up my exposed breast. It's a reminder of how distressed I
look, and I instantly move to shove my tit back in my shirt and cover
up.

“
I
know what it must look like,” I sigh.

“
Hey.
No more of that.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me
against him and kissing the back of my head. “You're going to
stay here tonight, and I'm going to take care of you. I don't want
you getting off of this bed, do you understand?”

The thought that
he's going to hold me hostage all night fills me with dread. This
isn't what I wanted at all.

He moves from behind
me, and I expect him to advance on me again. To my surprise though,
his cock has already gone soft. A different type of disappointment
assaults me, like I let him down. Like I'm not good enough. It makes
my eyes water again, and I mewl softly, feeling absolutely pathetic.

“
Lay
down.” Lucian guides my head down to the pillow, then he takes
the other pillow and props it up under my injured foot, elevating it.
“I'll be right back,” he says before disappearing out the
door.

If I wanted to
escape, now would be my chance. I'm too weak though, both emotionally
and physically, completely drained from everything that's just
happened. All I want to do is die, but that's not an option. I'm
stuck in this horrific moment, trapped in a stranger's house, going
to be forced to suck up my feelings and finish what we started. This
isn't over. He's going to want sex again. That's just how guys are.
He's selfish and doesn't really give a shit about what this is doing
to me.

I lie on the bed,
staring up at the ceiling, hating myself for not having the strength
to leave. This was a mistake. All just a big mistake, starting with
going to Flesh.

Lucian returns,
still buck naked, and loaded up with stuff. He has two pillows under
one arm, crutches in both of his hands with a washcloth dangling
precariously from one of them, and an ice pack in his teeth. The
bizarre sight of him makes my tears dry up as he approaches me with
the items, sets the crutches down next to the bed, and goes to work
doing a better job of propping my foot up and then covering it with
the wash cloth and putting the ice pack on top of it.

“
R.I.C.E.,”
he tells me, as if I didn't already know. The only thing missing is
the compression.