Flesh: Part Five (The Flesh Series Book 5) (3 page)

We get to the
bedroom, and I immediately start pointing out where I think the
furniture should go. Lucian stands beside me, contemplating my
choices and making a few suggestions of his own.

I try not to allow
my eyes to linger on the bed for too long. Every time I look at it, I
think of being tied up beneath him, of his thick cock pushing into
me. It's making me feel things that I don't want to—to have
yearnings that I shouldn't. And when I glance over at Lucian, it
seems like he's become twice as attractive the moment we stepped
inside the room. I hate that I want him. I hate that there's
something about him that makes me feel so weak and vulnerable and
needy.

It's just
hormones. Only hormones. Only because he's the most attractive man
you've ever slept with. One of the most attractive men you've ever
met. This has nothing to do with logic.

“
We
make a good team.” Lucian slips behind me and places his hands
on my shoulders, kneading into them.

My first instinct is
to groan from the pleasure of the massage. I know his hands are
magical from the foot massage he gave me when I twisted my ankle. A
sane woman would have stood there and enjoyed it. A woman who doesn't
entwine her feelings with sex. A woman who is able to separate them.
I feel like none of those things right now. His touch only makes me
want him more, and I can't allow myself to give in again.

Gathering all the
emotional fortitude that I can, I push his hands off of my shoulders,
clutch my purse against my body as if I can use it as a shield
against him, and lower my eyes to the floor. “Are we done
here?”

“
I
was hoping we weren't.” Lucian steps forward, reaching up a
hand to caress my face, but I move away from him. “Are you
alright?”

I hug my purse even
tighter, all the muscles in my body seeming to tense up, making me
feel like a frightened animal being backed into a corner. “I'm
fine, Doctor Reddick. If our business is done here, I'd like to go.”
I start walking towards the door, but Lucian gets in the way. My eyes
meet his chest, but I refuse to look at his face.

“
You
look like you need to talk.”

“
I'm
fine.” I brush a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“
I
know what not fine looks like, Amy.” He reaches out to me
again, this time grabbing me by the shoulders and roughly turning me
around. A small gasp escapes my lips as I feel him push me forward,
holding me by the shoulders, steering me towards the bed. “We're
going to sit down and talk.”

“
I'm
not interested in talking to you.” I try to pull away from him,
but he's too strong.

He doesn't let me go
until I'm facing his bed. For a moment, I think he's going to take
advantage of me. A deep feminine part of me wants it. I like it when
he's rough. I like it when he takes what he wants.

Instead though, he
turns me back around, caging me in with his body. When I finally look
up at him, his expression is dead serious, and it makes me want to
cower.

“
Talk
to me,” his voice is surprisingly gentle.

“
I
have nothing to say.” I turn my face away from him.

He grabs my chin,
directing my head forward. His eyes are hooded with desire. “Then
be with me.”

Lucian
leans in to kiss me, and every mechanism in my body seems to freeze.
Inside, I'm already crying as his soft lips touch mine. I'm crying
because I know I'm about to give in. His mouth is just too sweet. I
don't want to resist him. I want to kiss him back and feel his hard
cock pressing against me and spread my legs for him like a hoe.
Like
a hoe.
Those
words stick in my mind, and I somehow manage to find the strength to
push him away. Hard.

He loses his balance
and stumbles back. I'd be amazed that I was capable of using such
force if I wasn't busy wiping my mouth and glaring at him. The part
of me that doesn't care if I lose my job comes out. Rubbing away his
kiss is a slight, and I can tell that he took it as such, because he
narrows his eyes.

“
Did
I do something wrong?” He keeps his distance, crossing his arms
over his chest.

“
You've
done plenty,” my voice sounds venomous, full of more disdain
than I've ever heard from it before.

“
I
feel like I'm missing something.”

“
I'm
not interested in this.” I gesture around his room.

“
You're
not interested in redecorating my room?” He quirks an eyebrow.

I sigh, drawing my
hand up to my temple in frustration. I can't believe the words that
are about to come out of my mouth, partly because they're not true
and partly because I know they're going to cost me my job. “I'm
not interested in you.”

As soon as I say
them, a wave of emotion crashes down on me. Tears fly to my eyes at
lighting speed. I can't do this anymore. I can't be around him like
this. And I definitely don't want him to see me cry again.

I wrap my arms
around myself, hugging my purse to my chest as I make a break for the
door. Even though my ankle still hurts a little, it doesn't stop me
from running. Before I even reach the door though, Lucian's strong
arms are around me, pulling me back.

He holds me against
him, and I desperately try not to sob as I tell him to let me go. He
doesn't. His arms are like iron around me, unyielding. I attempt to
pry them off of me, but he doesn't budge.

“
Calm
down,” he whispers into my ear.

“
Please,
just let me go,” I whimper.

He kisses the back
of my head, which only makes me break down that much more. Soon, I'm
sobbing uncontrollably, and I'm hating myself for it. Somehow, Lucian
manages to turn me around in his arms, and I surrender completely,
burying my face against his chest to cry. The entire time, he softly
rakes his fingers through my hair and tries to comfort me. It's
absolutely infuriating, especially since he's the problem.

“
Are
you feeling a little better now?” he asks once I've calmed a
bit. He leans back, looking at my face and brushing my tears away
with his fingertips. It's so tender that I feel the slightest spark
of hope that he cares. This is all an act though. He has done this
before. I need to squash that spark before he turns the tables and
makes this into something sexual again.

“
I'm
fine.” I step out of his grasp and am surprised that he allows
it.

“
Talk
to me, okay.” His expression is earnest.

I drop my gaze to
the floor, though I don't know why. There's no shame in being
truthful. “I can't have sex with you anymore, Lucian.”

“
Why
not?” He walks away from me and rests his weight against the
bed.

“
I'm
not sure what kind of girl you think I am, but I'm not that girl.”
I shake my head. “I don't just give myself to anybody.”

“
I'm
not just anybody,” his tone is laced with offense.

I fight the urge to
roll my eyes as I feel arrogance radiating off of him. “No.
You're not just anybody. You're the worst kind. You're the kind of
guy who goes through women like underwear and doesn't give a crap
what it does to them. And I'm the kind of girl who can't separate
emotions from sex. We're like oil and water. We don't go together.
And that's why I can't sleep with you anymore.”

“
Is
that what you think of me?”

“
I
wouldn't have said it if it wasn't,” my words are biting.

“
And
what gave you that impression?” He makes a swirling motion in
the air with his hand. I can tell that he's on the brink of being
pissed off. He definitely doesn't like my assessment of him.

“
You
don't take no for an answer. The first time we were together, I tried
to tell you no, and you wouldn't listen.”

He jerks his head
back and raises an eyebrow. “The first time we were together
was at Flesh.”

I let out an audible
groan. “See, that's a perfect example of what I'm talking
about. Flesh. You sleep with a different woman every week. You're a
hoebag.”

“
A
hoebag?” His eyes widen in shock at the name calling. “You
made that appointment to come see me. If I'm a hoebag, then what does
that make you?”

I grit my teeth,
avoiding his gaze. “It makes me curious. That was the first and
last time I'll ever do anything like that.”

We're both silent
for several moments. The tension in the room is palpable, and all I
can think about is how I want to leave. This has turned into a
complete nightmare.

“
Look,”
I say finally. “I can understand if you don't want to continue
working with me now. Things have been blown way out of proportion.
They've gone the way they never should have.” I shake my head.
“I know we can't work together anymore, but my company is good
at what it does. If you'd let Derrick take over from here, or if
you'd allow me to transfer your files to another designer, we can
continue the process, and there won't even be a blip in the
schedule.”

“
Cute.
You think I'd do you a favor.” He crosses one leg over the
other and his arms over his chest.

All hope leaves me,
and I begin to feel upset again. Why, I'm not sure. This was the
expected outcome. He's going to cancel the contract and have one of
our competitors finish the job.

“
This
isn't a favor. I'm telling you the truth.”

“
Do
you seriously think I chose your company because I thought that
Environ Design was any better than the others?”

“
You
didn't?” My breath catches as my mind instantly goes into
overdrive trying to process what he's saying. It could have so many
meanings. More than likely though, they're all basal desire.

“
You
know,” he relaxes his stance a bit, “you wouldn't have
slept with me again if you didn't want to. You keep coming back for a
reason, and I don't think it has much to do with your job. What is it
you want from me, Amy?”

My mouth falls agape
at his assumption. I'm suddenly speechless. No logical answer will
come to me. None that doesn't sound absolutely ridiculous, at least.
I'm too embarrassed to speak.

“
I
know you're not just some random slut,” Lucian continues. “And
you're right, I'm definitely not a saint. But I do like you.

“
You
said it yourself. We're like oil and water. Just from being around
you for this short time, I can tell that you're not used to the
things that I...need. You like what I do to you though. I can see it
in your eyes. When I don't have you blindfolded, that is.” He
cocks his head to the side briefly and his lips quirk into a smirk.

I can feel my face
heating up from the mention of the things we've done together. It
feels so taboo and forbidden. Even though I don't want to admit it,
he's right. I've enjoyed having sex with him, despite the fact that
it's emotionally torn me apart. When I'm beneath him, I feel alive,
when he does things to me that no man has ever dared to. I wouldn't
let anyone else do those things to me—tie me up and blindfold
me and play with me like a toy. Just him. And if I walk away from
him, I know I'll never experience those things again. Perhaps that
would be for the best though.

“
You've
caught a glimpse of my world. What I do at Flesh. Let me take you a
little deeper, and if you don't like what you see, you can go.”

The proposition
sounds so simple, but I know it's not. Nothing is simple with Lucian
Reddick.

“
Take
me deeper?” I ask, afraid of the answer.

Lucian uncrosses his
legs. “This Saturday is Fleshfest. It's basically a fetish
party that Flesh holds every year. You should come with me.”

“
Come
with you.” I feel like an idiot, parroting what he says. My
brain is still trying to process the switch from argument to
invitation. Is he asking me out on a date? And ugh, I don't want to
be involved with this BDSM thing anymore...But I do want to be
involved with him. It's sickening for me to think it, but I do still
want him. If this is the only way... “What's Fleshfest like?”