Fleeting Moments (14 page)

My heart explodes, not with shame or anger, but with absolute admiration for the man beneath me. No one has ever, not ever, respected me like that in my life. My entire body swells with happiness, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

He reaches up, swiping it away with his thumb. “I know you’ve been feelin’ guilty about it, on top of everything else you’ve been through, but you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about it.”

“I don’t regret it,” I croak.

“I know that, but we’re going to give this some time, yeah?”

“Does that mean I don’t get to see you?”

He grunts. “You’re in it with me now, honey. I’m not keeping away.”

I smile and grab his face in my hands. “Do I get to kiss you?”

“As much as you want.”

I lean forward and press his lips against mine, a soft, short kiss. Then I pull back and roll off, lying beside him. “Does this mean I get to ask questions about you?”

He groans.

I chuckle.

“If you must, but I’ll only answer the non-serious ones.”

I huff. “No fair.”

“I didn’t say I played fair.”

“All right.” I grin. “What’s your favorite food?”

His mouth twitches, and he shifts us so I’m tucked against his chest and we’re snuggled together on the bed.

“This is going to sound weird,” he begins. “But it’s . . . cheesecake.”

I smother a giggle. “How very masculine.”

“It gets worse.” He grunts. “Strawberry cheesecake.”

The giggle bursts forth, and he pinches me softly.

“I can’t help it; I have a sweet tooth.”

“Okay, cheesecake boy, what’s your favorite color?”

“Red.”

Hmmm. Red would highlight his beautiful silver eyes.

“My turn,” he says. “Fair is fair.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“What’s your favorite food?”

“That’s easy. Hot dogs.”

He snorts. “Seriously?”

“Hey, yours is cheesecake. Don’t be judgy.”

“Fair call. And favorite color?”

I snuggle closer. “Purple. My turn. What’s your favorite quality in a person?”

“Honesty,” he says, his voice firm. “All the way.”

“And your pet hate?”

He thinks on that. “Liars.”

The way he says that makes my body more than aware of the anger simmering off him, but I let it go. “Your turn,” I say softly.

“Same questions,” he says, his voice a little less tense.

“Okay, my favorite quality in a person is loyalty, and my pet hate is shady people, the ones that just dance around the truth instead of saying it.”

“Good call. Those people are fucked.”

I smile, shaking my head softly. “Okay, do you like to read?”

“Nope.”

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“Don’t watch television.”

I push up from his chest and stare down at him. “Seriously?”

He nods. “Seriously.”

“What do you do for fun?”

He grins.

I roll my eyes. “God, you’re an animal. Okay, so you don’t watch TV, you don’t read, let me guess—you listen to the radio?”

His grin gets bigger.

“How old are you?” I joke.

“Thirty-five.”

Okay, well, that wasn’t actually a question, but I’ll take it. He isn’t much older than me, thank god.

“You?” he prompts.

“Twenty-seven.”

He strokes my jaw. “Just a baby.”

I grunt. “Hardly.”

“Enough questions for tonight,” he says, taking my body and tucking it beneath his as he rolls on top of me.

“I thought we weren’t having sex?” I breathe, staring at his lips.

“We’re not, we’re going to kiss until our lips hurt.”

I flush.

No complaints from me.

~*~*~*~

B
lood explodes, landing on me as I crawl along the ground. It’s sticky and it smells awful. Tears roll down my cheeks as I try to escape it, but it just keeps coming, big, thick flows of it, falling all over me. I sob and inhale, taking some into my throat. I can’t breathe. People won’t stop screaming. I choke and choke, blood spilling from my lips.

“Help,” I scream. “Please help me!”

“No one can help you now,” he says, and I look up into his terrifying eyes. His gray hair seems so stark in the moonlight.

“No, go away. You can’t hurt me. Go away.”

He smiles. “It’s time to join Hayley. I’m in desperate need of someone with a little fight.”

“No,” I scream as his fingers curl around my arms.

More blood flows into my mouth.

“No, please.”

“Lucy!”

Someone is shaking me. I lash out, clawing, desperate to get free. “No, let me go, please!”

“It’s me, Lucy. It’s me. Calm down. You’re dreaming.”

I’m shaken again, and my eyes flow open. It takes me a few minutes to realize I’m in Heath’s arms, clutching his shirt. I’m panting and covered in sweat. I blink a few times, letting the dream slip from my mind. With every passing second, it becomes clearer where I am and who I’m with. I glance at Heath, who studies me with a concerned expression, then I turn my head and see all four men standing at his door, two of them half-naked, the others with sleep-ruffled hair.

I woke them.

“I’m,” I croak. “I’m . . .”

Shame floods my cheeks and tears well under my eyelids. I scurry out of Heath’s arms and throw myself off the bed, landing on my feet and scrambling backwards. I’m wearing only a pair of panties and a tank. Great. My cheeks burn and I rush towards the door, needing fresh air before I choke. The men part and I rush past them, my hair flowing as I run away.

“Lucy!” Heath calls.

I run to the door and burst out, letting the cool night air hit my face and wake me up. Hysterical tears threaten to explode, and I feel like a damned idiot. Those men don’t even know me and now I’m waking them all up with these nightmares that have plagued me since the attack. I rush to a patch of grass and lower down, squatting with my arms around my knees. I focus on breathing. I need to breathe.

“Hey,” Heath says, squatting down beside me. “Hey, come on honey. Come inside.”

“Just leave me, Heath,” I rasp. “Please.”

“I’m not leaving you out here alone.”

“Leave!” I scream so loudly I scare myself. An angry tear rolls down my cheek.

“No,” he says firmly. “So yell away.”

“God dammit. I don’t want you to see me like this,” I hiss, staring back at the ground.

“It’s okay, Lucy girl. Nobody cares that you’re having dreams. They’re not judging you.”

“I woke them all up. Like they don’t hate me enough already.”

“They don’t hate you.”

I shoot a glare in his direction. “They do hate me, because I’m ruining whatever little plan you’ve got going on here.”

“Come on, stop it.”

“Shit,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes closed. “Nothing is going right for me.”

“Come inside. It’s cold out here and you’re half naked.”

I glance down at my bare legs and sigh, standing. I walk back towards the warehouse and straight past the four men, who have obviously given up on sleep and are now sitting on the sofas with beers in their hands. I keep my head low as I charge back to Heath’s room.

“I have nightmares, too.”

I stop at the rugged voice, but don’t turn around. I think it’s Blake speaking, but I could be wrong.

I say nothing.

“One day, they won’t be there anymore. You just have to tell yourself that someday soon, you’re going to wake up without them.”

My bottom lip quivers, and I say a soft, “Thanks.” Then I disappear into Heath’s room.

A moment later he emerges, wearing only a pair of jeans. I hadn’t noticed before in my panic to leave. My eyes find his, and he comes and sits by me on the bed. For a while, neither of us says anything, but finally he speaks. “Get some rest; you need it. I’ll lie with you.”

“Heath?” I croak.

“Yeah?”

“Is he right? Is there going to come a day when I wake up without them?”

He reaches over and takes hold of my hand, engulfing it with his. “Yeah, baby. You just have to hang onto faith.”

“I don’t know if I believe in faith anymore.”

“Never let another person or action take away your beliefs, Lucy girl. No action, man or nature, is worth the loss of that.”

I look to him. “You can go and sit with the guys.”

“No,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “I’m staying with you.”

God dammit, this man just keeps getting better and better.

There is just no way I’m not falling in love with him.

And that scares the hell out of me.

I
sit, curled on an old chair, staring out at the rising sun. I snuck out of Heath’s room this morning when I couldn’t sleep. He was out to it, so I didn’t want to wake him. I managed to find coffee amongst the mess of a kitchen, and quietly let myself out onto the porch to watch the sun come up. I’m quiet in my own thoughts, for the first time in weeks. It’s peaceful out here—calm and unhurried. It feels good not to think for a few seconds.

“Morning.”

I flinch and look over to see Johnny coming out, coffee in hand. I don’t know if he’s here to give me a hard time, but if he is, I don’t think I’m ready for it. “Look, I know you don’t like me but please . . . I don’t want a lecture this morning.”

He studies me. “I was just going to say you’re in my chair.”

“Oh,” I say softly and go to get up.

“No, stay,” he murmurs, disappearing inside and coming out with another one.

He puts it down about a few feet away from mine, and for a few minutes, we sit in silence. I glance at him a few times, because if it weren’t for his haircut, I’d swear Heath was sitting beside me.

“I’m sorry you experienced what you did,” he says, staring out at the sunrise. “I didn’t give you a fair go. That wasn’t fair, considering what you’ve been through.”

I shrug. “It’s fine.”

He turns to study me. “No, it isn’t. Heath told me what happened out there.”

I swallow and look down at my mug. “Well, there isn’t a great deal I can do but learn to live with it. I guess the only good thing that came out of it is that I met Heath.”

“He says you were married at the time.”

“I was,” I admit. “I still am, but we’re separated.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m not,” I say in a small voice. “I think life has a path for all of us, and I think it put Heath in mine for a reason.”

Johnny studies me, his eyes scanning my face. “Maybe.”

Maybe.

He doesn’t seem convinced.

“I’m sorry I caused problems for him. I didn’t realize he was in so deep.”

“Not entirely your fault,” he says, sipping his coffee.

“No, but I could have gotten him hurt, or any of you . . . That was never my intention.”

“I know. I can see that now.”

I nod and turn to staring back at the red and yellow colors streaking the sky.

“How much has he told you?”

“Not much,” I admit. “I understand, though. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“Just know this is extremely personal for him. Keep that in mind, no matter what happens. You just need to know it’s his life.”

His life
. What could have happened to make this such a big deal for him that it became his life?

“Can I ask you something?” I ask, my voice hesitant.

“That depends on what it is.”

I shift and turn, tucking my leg beneath me and facing him. “Is he in a lot of danger?”

Johnny’s eyes dart to the left for a split second, and he takes a few minutes before he answers. For a moment, I don’t think he will, and the idea of that scares me more than knowing the answer, because if he doesn’t answer, that means he knows what kind of danger Heath is in. My heart pounds harder and harder as I watch him, begging for him to open his mouth and say the one word I want to hear—
no
.

He finally sighs and looks me in the eye. I’m fairly sure I’m going to stop breathing. “If
he
finds out, then it is pretty serious.”

“Who is he?”

He opens his mouth to answer but Tank walks outside, shirtless and terrifying. His eyes slice to mine and then to Johnny’s, and he growls, “Heath is looking for her.”

Her.

Not Lucy. Her.

He hates me, and I don’t understand it. He might have his reservations about me, but this outright hate I just don’t get it. What the hell have I done to deserve it?

“Right,” Johnny says, standing.

I stand too, but my knees shake a little as I move past Tank. He terrifies me; he’s so incredibly dark. It radiates from his soul. Maybe he’s just damaged and it’s coming off wrong, but the man has the power to scare anyone with just one look. I only let out my breath when I’m inside the warehouse. Talk about a testosterone-filled space. Blake and Sheldon stand at the kitchen counter, each wearing only a pair of boxers.

My cheeks turn pink and my eyes find Heath, who is on the other side of the counter, studying me, a hungry look in his eyes as they drag down my body. I wrap my arms around myself, meeting his gaze. I’m wearing my jeans and tank, but suddenly I feel very exposed. I shift nervously and glance at the other two men, who are grinning. Big, wolfish grins.

“God dang, the sexual tension in this room is out of this world.” Sheldon chuckles low.

“Tell me about it.” Blake grins. “Heath, man, take that woman and get some of that out of your system or I will.”

My cheeks burn hotter.

“Get fucked,” Heath growls at him.

Blake’s grin gets so big that dimples pop out in his cheeks. “Possessive, too.”

“Ah,” I say, turning and ducking my head as I hurry towards Heath’s room. “I’m going to have a shower.”

I disappear and shut the door when I reach his bedroom, exhaling loudly. They’re right, the tension is huge. Why is it the second you know you can’t have something, you want it? I know exactly why. Because the temptation of wanting what you can’t have feels so damned good.

I duck into the shower, closing the door behind me and stripping out of my clothes. Flashes of Heath’s beautiful body and face travel through my mind, and I find myself getting more aroused than I’d like. I turn the shower on far colder than I usually would and step in, letting the water glide all over me. It doesn’t help. Not even a little. I’m aching between my legs, my sex throbbing for more of what he can offer. I want to feel guilty, but I don’t. I don’t because I want him so damned bad I no longer care about the consequences.