Flawed (Blaze of Glory #2) (9 page)

I use my other hand to turn her face to mine, pressing my lips firmly against hers as I tease her nipple into a hardened point. Natalie groans into my mouth and shifts, turning to face me as I lie back against the pillow, dragging her with me so she’s straddling my hips. Positioning her pussy directly over my cock, I move her hips back and forth, rubbing her against me as I kiss her. She groans again and breaks the kiss, sitting up as she works to push my tank top up my chest. I help her shrug it off then lie back again as her small, pink tongue darts out and snakes a long trail from my neck all the way to one of my nipples, nipping at it lightly. My hand fists in her hair as her kisses continue south, all the way down to the waistband of my jeans.

Grabbing her wrists, I pull her back up and capture her lips once more, rolling her over until I’m lying over her, my cock pressing firmly between her thighs. I trust hard once against her, hearing her groan of satisfaction as she strains against me, trying to get closer. A knock on the door has her freezing, and I drop my face into the crook between her neck and shoulder, letting out a small groan of annoyance.

“Just ignore them,” I whisper, sucking lightly on her neck as my hand moves down to the waistband of her jeans. The knock sounds again and I curse savagely, climbing off the bed as she sits up and tries to look like she hasn’t just been thoroughly kissed. Stalking over to the door, I swing it open, ready to tear whoever it is into pieces.

“Zeke,” I gasp. “What the hell are you doing here? Where are your parents? Has something happened?”

“I left,” Zeke says simply, pushing past me into the office. “I couldn’t handle two weeks of watching them sucking face.” He stops dead when he sees Natalie on my bed and turns to face me, his face bright red. “I-I’m sorry,” he stammers. “I didn’t know you had someone here.”

“It’s okay.” I laugh, my earlier anger forgotten. “This is Natalie, Shannon’s sister.”

He turns back to Nat and studies her closely. “She’s hot,” he finally announces, like it was something I didn’t already know. “So, I guess this makes you my aunt or something, right?”

“Excuse me?” I ask.
Where the hell did that come from?

“Well, she’s my stepmother’s sister,” Zeke explains, looking at me like I’ve grown two heads.

“Oh, right, of course,” I say, giving Nat a helpless look. She’s sitting on the bed with an amused grin on her face, clearly enjoying my discomfort. I change the subject. “What do your parents think of you coming home?”

“Well… that is… they don’t know,” Zeke mumbles, unable to look me in the eyes.

“What?” I roar, causing them both to flinch. “You ran away?”

“I couldn’t do it!” Zeke yells back. “What did you want me to do, Keets? Pretend we were all just one big, happy family while they completely ignored me to make out the whole time? I bet they don’t even know I’m gone.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Natalie says, climbing off the bed and walking over to join us. “If you knew anything about my sister you would know she cares more about family than anything else.”

“Well, I hate to burst your bubble,
Auntie Natalie
,” he sneers, “but that was the old Shannon. The new Shannon doesn’t care about anything but kissing her new husband and acting like she’s a damn teenager.
I’m
the teenager, not them.”

“Zeke,” I snap, getting more pissed off every minute. “Don’t you dare speak to Natalie that way; She’s not the enemy here.”

“No, I am,” he sulks. “I always am.” Turning, he practically runs out the door and disappears from the bar. I turn to grab my shoes and follow him, but Natalie’s hand on my arm makes me pause and glance down at her. “Leave him be,” she says quietly. “I remember what it’s like to be fifteen. It can’t be easy losing his mom only to get a new one a few weeks later.”

I sigh and drop my head, touching my forehead to hers. “You’re something special, Miss Harper. You know that, right?” I kiss the top of her forehead and step away. “I have to call Stone and Shannon, they’ll be going out of their minds.”

“Okay.” She gives me a small smile. “I’ll see if I can find Zeke, maybe have a bit of a chat with him.”

“Good luck,” I scoff. “He hasn’t spoken more than a few words to anyone in weeks.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

NATALIE

As it turns out, I don’t have to go far to track down my new nephew. I see him sitting on a wooden fence next to a corral, watching a beautiful horse canter around the clearing.
Is that Lady?
As I near him, I see him glance my way, but he doesn’t acknowledge me. Awkwardly climbing onto the fence next to him, I say nothing as I watch him, watching the horse.

“I’m sorry I was rude,” he apologizes in a quiet voice, not looking at me. I’m not sure what to say, so I remain silent. “I’m just so tired of being ignored, you know?” he continues, and I nod in agreement. “Like, I didn’t even know Dad existed until a few months ago, then I found out Mom was dying and I was forced on him. He was so messed up, all he did was drink and yell at Shannon and me. But for a while, things got better, and I thought maybe it’d work out. But since they got married…” He trails off and finally looks at me.

“You feel like you’re ignored,” I finish for him. “You feel like you don’t matter, that they wouldn’t even notice you weren’t around. And why should they, right? You’ve only been in your dad’s life a few months.”

“Exactly,” Zeke agrees. “Why should they care about me, when I’m nothing but a burden on them?”

“Oh, sweetie,” I say, my heart breaking for him. “I know just how you feel. Growing up, Shannon was always the ‘good child’, and I was never anything more than a burden on my momma and daddy. When Shannon left with her boyfriend for the big city, everyone blamed me. The whole town, in fact. They kept telling me if only I’d been nicer to her, if only I’d stopped being so selfish, she might have stayed. Look,” I debate on how much to tell him, he’s just a sweet child.. “I know where the path to self destruction can lead you. I’ve travelled down that path so many times I’ve lost count.”

“So why don’t you stop?”

Such a simple question, from such an innocent boy. It almost brings me to my knees in pain, but I force myself to explain, to try and make sure he doesn’t go down the same path. “I wish it were that simple,” I tell him in a sad voice. “I think, when you’ve been feeling the way I do for as long as I have, the darkness becomes the only thing you feel safe in, like you have control. Does that make sense?” He shakes his head and I inwardly curse. “When I was younger, I used the darkness like a release of pent up anger and frustration. I won’t lie, it felt good, you know? But it only lasts a short amount of time. Do I regret being so angry all the time? Yep, of course I do. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would never let myself go down that path. But quitting isn’t as easy as turning off a light switch. I live in a world of constant shame and guilt for what I do to myself, and to my family and friends.”

“I would never hurt my family,” Zeke says fiercely. “But sometimes I wish I could just run away. I’m such a damn burden on everyone. I can never do anything right!”

“Zeke, you’re anything but a burden on them. Shannon has told me so much about you.”

“She has?”

I nod. “She has. She’s told me about how special you are, and how much she loves you.”

“But that’s just it,” he says, kicking the fence with the heel of his running shoe. “I love her, too.”

“How is that a problem?” I ask, confused.

“Because,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. “I miss my mom.”

“Oh, honey,” I exclaim, realization finally dawning. “You’re worried that you’re betraying your mom by loving Shan.” He nods, and an overwhelming sadness sweeps through me. “Sweetie, no one can ever replace your mom, don’t you understand that? Not Shannon, not me, no one. And trust me, she’s not trying to. It’s not wrong to love Shannon. In fact, I think your mom would be incredibly proud of how strong you are.”

“You think?” he asks, hope filling his eyes before quickly dying away again. “No,” he argues, shaking his head. “I’m a terrible person, and the sooner you realize that the better.” He climbs down and starts walking away.

“Zeke!” I yell, struggling to move off the fence. My foot slips and I would’ve fallen if it weren’t for the strong arms that wrap around me from behind, catching me, steadying me.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Keets asks, helping me to stand. I struggle out of his arms and look around for Zeke, but he’s nowhere in sight. “He’s gone,” Keets says, as if reading my mind. I sigh and shake my head sadly.
That poor kid. I can’t begin to know how to get through to him. I know all too well the pain of living in the darkness, I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone, let alone a child.

“Did you get a hold of them?” I ask, turning my attention back to Keets who nods.

“Yeah,” he answers, stepping back and hooking his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “They were going out of their minds, but I convinced them to enjoy their vacation. I told them that I’d look after the kid until they get back. Did he talk to you?”

I nod, tears filling my eyes. “That poor boy,” I cry. “He’s so worried about betraying his mother’s memory that he refuses to let anyone get close to him. He’s convinced they’ll take her place in his heart.”

“Damn,” Keets says softly, pulling his hands out of his pockets and holding them out to me. I step willingly into his embrace; it’s quickly becoming my ‘safe’ space. The thought doesn’t sit well with me, but I can examine what it means later. Right now, though, I crave this touch, this comfort. Even if it is only for a moment. I allow the tears to flow freely, his hand stroking my back in long, slow movements. I cry until there’s nothing left inside me, then I finally pull away, my face flaming when I see the wet patches on the front of his tank top. “I’m sorry.” I smile, giving a small hiccup as I turn my face away.

“Hey,” he says quietly, turning my face back to his. “Don’t ever apologize, okay? You’ve done nothing wrong. We all need some comfort sometimes.” I nod, too choked up to say anything. “Besides,” he continues, a grin splitting his features. “This shirt needed the wash.” He winks at me and I burst out laughing. It feels damn good to laugh; it feels like forever since the last time I did.

***

It’s ten pm and the bar is packed with locals. My feet ache from standing on them all night, and I think I’ve ended up with more beer on me than in the glasses. How the hell does Keets make it look so easy? I watch as he fills ten shot glasses in quick succession, without spilling a drop. He makes it seem effortless, and I’m once again reminded of my own shortcomings as beer promptly overfills the glass I’m pouring and splashes over my hand. “Dammit,” I mutter, grabbing a cloth and wiping up the mess.

“Hey, darlin’,” a loud voice calls. I look up to see an extremely overweight man grinning at me, one of his front teeth missing. “The beer goes
in
the glass.”

“Now, Randy,” Keets says with a laugh as he comes to stand next to me. “Don’t embarrass the poor girl. We can’t all be amazing drink pourers.” He takes the glass from me and expertly refills it, handing it to the man.

“Ah, shucks,” Randy says with a slightly embarrassed look. “I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. I knew your daddy,” he says to me. “He was a good man. A real good man.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, my head cast down.

“Hey,” Keets says, nudging my side with his elbow and waiting until I look up at him. “Don’t sweat it, okay? You’re doing great considering it’s your first night on the job. Here.” He hands me a new glass. “The trick is to tilt it on an angle as you pour it. That way, the head rises to the top and doesn’t take up the full glass.” He demonstrates. “See?” It looks easy enough and I nod, determined to give it another try. This time, I pour a half-decent pint, with just a little bit too much head on the top.

“Better,” Keets says with a smile and a nod of approval. The rest of the night runs smoothly, and my skills improve until I’m pouring beer like a professional. Randy entertains me with stories of my father and although I’m exhausted, I’m almost sorry when it’s time to close the bar up for the night.

“That went well,” Keets announces with a grin as he locks the door behind the last customer and moves back over to the bar. Pouring two drinks, he hands me one and I gratefully accept before a thought crosses my mind.
I can’t drink.

“What’s wrong?” Keets asks as I push the drink away.

“Nothing,” I answer with a small smile. “Just tired, I guess.” I don’t know why I don’t tell him the truth. I guess a part of me thinks he’ll look at me differently if he knows I conceived a child during a one-night stand. I know I won’t be able to keep it a secret for much longer; eventually, I’ll start to show, and questions will be asked.

Keets drains his glass and stands, taking my hand. “Come on,” he says, leading me into the office. Standing me next to the bed, he kneels before me and lifts one of my feet, sliding off my shoe. I hold onto his shoulder for balance as he removes the second shoe and stands once more, his hands moving to the front of my jeans. Snapping them open, he slides them down my legs and I step out, standing in front of him wearing nothing but a white tank top and white cotton panties. But instead of taking me into his arms like I expect him to, he gently tucks me into bed and kisses my forehead. “Goodnight, beautiful,” he whispers. I watch through hooded eyes as he walks away.