Flare (32 page)

Summer decided to use a red faux fur muff rather than carrying a bouquet. The shock of color was beautiful in a mostly cream-colored affair, especially when you considered the pale, white backdrop of snow. It didn’t hurt that the red was reflected in the beautiful flowers that were the centerpiece of the venue where guests could mingle after the ceremony.

“I can keep and use this forever, unlike flowers,” she’d said when she saw the muff at a little shop in Uptown when they were shopping for guest favors. “Besides, what’s the point of getting married in a conservatory surrounded by flowers and then ending up buying more flowers? That’s stupid.” Hugo loved her practicality.

Summer was far too relaxed as her quickly planned wedding day approached, but she faced it as she did a room full of kindergarteners on their first, fret-filled day of a new school year or Hugo in the middle of a drama queen meltdown: cool, calm, and collected with a smile on her face that radiated ease.

It was a beautiful ceremony, simple and quite traditional aside from Hugo being in the spot usually held by a woman. Only Hugo and Kevin stood up for them—no other groomsmen or bridesmaids—wearing crisp black suits and long red ties.

The reception was held in an adjoining room with finger foods set up on tables for people to snack on as they saw fit and a bar in the corner if you wanted a little buzz. Kevin spoke to the Clarkes, keeping Hugo close as they made polite small talk. Brooke and Finn were happy to see their grandparents, oblivious to any tension in the air.

Hugo introduced Tasha and Kyle to his own mother. Ruby knew the strained history, but she took it all in stride, smiling and telling stories about Hugo and Summer basically growing into adulthood together in their twenties. Summer was like a second daughter to Hugo’s mom, and their closeness showed when Summer joined them, giving Ruby an extra-long hug.

“I’ve missed you,” Summer told her.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I can’t wait to hear how things turn out,” she said with a smile. Hugo tensed. They were talking about the baby,
if
there was a baby.

“We’ll know soon.”

Tasha turned her head, squinting her pale-blue eyes, silently showing she’d like to be included in the conversation, but Summer excused herself. “It looks like my cousin is about to leave with her family. I need to say good-bye, if you don’t mind.”

Hugo breathed a sigh of relief, knowing they’d dodged the bullet there. He gently led his mom away from the Clarkes, telling her they didn’t have a clue about the infertility issues or the baby yet. The round shape of Ruby’s lips was funny as well as her comically large eyes.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Uptown & Memories

T
HE
ANNIVERSARY
of Erin’s death was a somber day near the end of February. Kevin allowed the kids to stay home from school and they drove around Minneapolis. Perhaps it was morbid, focusing so much on her, but they went places Erin had loved, where Kevin and the kids remembered good things about her. Being at home on that day would have brought to mind the hospice workers and the medical paraphernalia that scattered surfaces in her room and the living room.

In the end, they were all laughing and recalling happy times. It wasn’t until bedtime that emotions took over, but rather than fight it, Kevin gave everyone permission to feel sad. “It’s okay. Don’t hold it back if you want to let it out.”

After the kids were asleep, Kevin tugged Hugo into the sunroom and pulled out the pink-elephant pipe Erin had used to smoke marijuana and a new stash of pot. Hugo knew Erin had used up every ounce before she got too sick to even use her vaporizer. “Where’d you get that?” Hugo asked.

“I called Gilbert,” Kevin said as he loaded the pipe, and rasped the lighter to life. He took a drag without coughing, even if his eyes watered from the effort he used to hold in the smoke.

Hugo took a long pull and they passed it back and forth until the bowl was empty. A mellow feeling drifted over him. He had a fleeting thought that the pot was going to make his sadness worse, but he allowed his thought to drift away, and he fell into the downy softness of his high. For long, long minutes Hugo was silent, reclining back on the couch, head resting on Kevin’s thigh as he looked up at the ceiling. His gaze occasionally drifted to Kevin and then toward the photos of the entire family that sat on the mantle. Kevin didn’t break the silence, either. The only thing he did was sit with Hugo, pushing strong fingers through Hugo’s hair from time to time.

“Come on,” Kevin finally said. “Let’s go to bed.”

They lay skin-to-skin on cool, soft sheets that night, wrapped up in each other. Hugo rubbed the bottom of his foot over the top of Kevin’s again and again until his eyes closed. Their fingers were tangled together, curled up so tight as if they were afraid of letting go. They were. Hugo was terrified of losing this closeness, of losing his family.

O
NE
WEEK
later, Hugo got a phone call from Summer. “Congratulations. We’re having a baby.”

“It worked? Did it really work?”

“Yep! I was late but I waited for the blood test to tell you, just in case the at-home pregnancy test was a false positive.”

“Oh my God. On the first try?” Several nights following the first insemination, Kevin had helped Hugo orgasm into a cup. The remaining nights weren’t nearly as romanticized as the first time. They had no idea which time had taken, but Hugo would always think it was that first night. “There’s actually going to be some of my DNA in the gene pool,” Hugo said with a huge smile on his face.

“Looks like it.”

“You must be a Fertile Myrtle. That was too easy,” Hugo said.

“Don’t jinx this, lover boy.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry. Congratulations!” he said as if the skepticism had never been shared. They spoke a few more minutes before Summer had to go.

Hugo kept the news in for all of five minutes, practically floating around the house with the knowledge he helped create life. He called Kevin who laughed in delight for long minutes, congratulating him again and again. Then Hugo called Russell and congratulated him. “You’re going to be a dad, man. That’s awesome!”

Even though it was early and Summer was barely pregnant—not that one could actually be barely pregnant—Hugo wanted to share the news with the kids. He was able to restrain himself for all of two weeks before he finally broke down. The fact that he’d been beaming like a crazy person since Summer’s call had been noticed by the kids, even Finn who often missed nearly all things like that.

Kevin held Hugo’s hand as he waded through some of the biological explanations about how some people have trouble having babies and need to do it differently. They were sharing the news with both kids separately because of how differently they understood how babies were made, starting with Brooke. He shared Summer and Russell’s struggles, looking at Brooke and saying, “I helped them make a baby by giving them some of my sperm in a cup.” It was important for her to know this baby wasn’t created through sex, because the last thing he wanted was for her to fear losing another parent because of the things Felicity had informed her about. Or to have her doubt him for even a second.

Brooke was happy, asking a few more in-depth questions that had Hugo blushing, but grateful Kevin was there to take over and explain better.

Telling Finn was easier by a landslide. “Summer and Russell are having a baby.”

“Cool.” That was it, and then they opened up the floor for questions. “Can I take Lulu outside? I think she has to go poop.”

Hugo laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. To be six and so easily unfazed by the creation of life. Remarkable.

M
ARCH
WAS
one of those months where little happened in Minnesota. Besides snow. There was a lot of snow that year and many snow days called by the school. Hugo was glad he wasn’t working as much, pleased he’d taken to saying no to jobs he didn’t want and only saying yes to those projects that allowed him to stay at home, so he felt more connected to Kevin and the kids again and more in control of his life.

Hugo spent long mornings wrapped up in a down coat, a long scarf, and a warm hat, pushing snow to the edges of the driveway and tossing it in the yard. It wasn’t much of a yard anymore. More like huge piles of snow where the kids played King of the Mountain with the neighbor kids. He even shoveled a little path out in the backyard so Lulu could get outside to do her business because she refused to go anywhere but her favorite spot, which just so happened to be near the back of Kevin’s property line. That was good for the kids’ play space, but not so good for Hugo’s back when he had to shovel that far back. Of course, when Finn saw the cool little path Hugo had created, he decided there needed to be more so he could run around the backyard and get lost in a maze. Hugo actually enjoyed looking online for simple maze designs and then started to outline the path with his huge, Sorrell boots one day. The next day, he bought Finn a small shovel and told him, “Have at it, kid. Go make your maze.” Finn had a blast doing it.

Kevin chided Hugo for shoveling by hand. “I have a really good snowblower. You could be done in minutes.”

But Hugo shook him off. “It’s not the same,” he would say, throwing that morning’s light snow in front of him and watching how the sunlight made it sparkle as it fluttered to the ground. It was beautiful. “Not the same at all,” he said to himself, low and rumbly in his chest.

“You’re crazy,” Kevin said before kissing Hugo’s cold nose. “Game night tonight? You haven’t been there in two months.”

“I can’t. Summer needs me to help her build something for her classroom—some art thing she’s doing with the kids.” He was truly going to help her, but it didn’t need to be on game night. It was nice it
could
be on game night, though.

“Okay. Don’t have too much fun shoveling. The weatherman will keep sending us more if he thinks someone is having fun with all this,” he joked before he left for the day. It didn’t take long to finish when there had only been a dusting of snow, and soon Hugo was back in the house, sipping coffee and scrolling through e-mail and Erin’s old Facebook group with Lulu curled up beside him.

Lulu was a good dog. A really good dog. She was great with the kids, allowing them to lead her all over the house on a leash and outside, trotting happily behind them. She’d come in with balls of snow embedded in her long silky fur after running the maze with Finn, so she’d have to sit in her kennel on a warm towel Hugo pulled from the dryer until the snow melted. After she was dry, she loved curling up on the wooden flooring, right where the heating ducts carried warm air to blow into the room.

Lulu even allowed Brooke to dress her in doll clothes or put barrettes in her fur or silly hats on her head, but they rarely stayed on for more than a few seconds. Lulu would sit for an hour on those snow days while Brooke used Kevin’s expensive digital SLR to take photos of her. And then Finn would take her back outside again, repeating the cycle. Lulu came back in breathless and practically smiling, if a dog could smile. She seemed able to. Her furry face showed many emotions, and she made the family so happy.

Hugo didn’t know if the past year would’ve gone nearly as well without Lulu in their lives. She helped bring stability in her own way, even just the calm she imbued into a room by her presence. She was someone who needed to be cared for, fed, walked, and loved. That focus away from self had been healing to everyone in the family. Hugo sighed, remembering how much Erin had loved petting Lulu’s silky fur and spoiling her with jerky treats. Lulu mourned after Erin died too, curling up sad-eyed on the couch where Erin often spent her days resting.

Although it had been over a year since Erin died, people were still writing on her Facebook group. Sporadically, at least. Every few weeks Hugo scrolled through the page, not needing to get to it any more often than that. He could even stretch his visits out to once a month if there was a holiday or if something was happening in the Twin Cities that occupied people’s minds, like warmer weather or powerful winter sunshine.

People missed her. Erin had made a huge impact on the lives she’d touched, but now several friends were wondering about Kevin and the kids. Hugo told Kevin about the curiosity, and Kevin had been thoughtful, trying to figure out the best way to talk about their future plans.

Before Erin died, she had told the Facebook group of her desire for Kevin and Hugo to raise the kids together. Now that they were engaged and talking about adoption, Kevin wasn’t sure if he should say something until all was said and done. Hugo was content to leave how to handle the news up to Kevin. He knew Erin’s friends much better than Hugo did. The only person Hugo really had a read on from that group was Russell, and he was easy enough to understand.

No one was considering telling others the details about the baby Summer was carrying yet. Russell, Summer, and Hugo were still talking to a lawyer about the logistics of parental rights and the timing of when those would be relinquished, so until papers were signed, they were all content to let people assume Russell and Summer were having a baby in the typical way.

Kevin was afraid of news traveling back to Erin’s parents, but that was really up to Russell and Summer in the end. After the custody mayhem, Kevin was being very protective and felt the need to be secretive. He didn’t want to set the Clarkes off again.

S
UMMER
AND
Russell were looking for a new house or condominium. They’d been living in Summer’s apartment for months, but now they needed to start looking for a place that was more kid-friendly, and Summer asked Hugo for his help. Russell was swamped with work in the evenings and couldn’t be pulled away for at least a week. She wanted to have a list of places narrowed down so he didn’t have to waste his time looking at crap in his meager free hours. She wanted to limit the places she showed him to the best. Only five or ten at the most.