Flaming Zeppelins (14 page)

It bounced and heaved for hours. Then, suddenly as it had begun, the storm died down and the ocean went smooth. The coffin washed toward the island of Doctor Momo.

The tide moved it onto shore. The lid popped, slid sideways. A hand grasped it, pushed it off. Slowly, a hand grasped either side of the coffin, and a mustached, white-faced man with angular features, wearing a dark outfit with a black cloak lined with red, rose effortlessly from the box, stood, turned his red eyes toward the jungle.

Out there, in the jungle, Momo's creations saw the coffin and the man. They were bunched up behind a clutch of trees. The Lion Man said, “Is that a man?”

“It walks on two legs, does it not?” said the Sayer of the Law.

They watched as the tall man stepped out of the coffin and waded after the coffin lid. He was making a terrible noise in a language the beast men did not recognize.

Finally, after much thrashing and falling into the seawater, the dark man was able to rescue the lid, drag it and the coffin onto the beach. He paused a moment to kick a crab loose from his ankle.

“I know you're out there,” he said to the jungle. “I can smell your blood, hear your heartbeat. I can smell your breath and your unwiped asses.”

The man smiled at the darkness. His teeth were white and shiny. Like the beast men, he had long canines.

The Sayer of the Law edged out of the woods. “Are we not men?” he said. “Not to run on all fours, that is the law. Not to roll in dead things, that is the law.” (The Quoter was overcome with joy; that was the part he had left out the other day when quoting to the newcomers.)

“Not to…”

“Silence,” said the tall man. “You bore me.”

The others came out of the jungle now. The pig-faced creature snuffled about the dark man, trying to intimidate him.

“Do not speak to the Sayer of the Law that way,” said the pig in his choked voice. “It is not the way of men.”

In answer, the dark man grabbed the Pig Man by the neck, and with one violent rip, tore the creature's throat out.

“Oh, shit,” said the Lion Man. “That had to hurt.”

The Pig Man toppled to the ground spouting blood. The dark man hissed as the others circled him. “By God,” said the Goat Man, “he's ripped out Jerry's throat.”

The Sayer of the Law bent over the Pig Man, said, “He's dead.” Edging closer to the dark man, the Sayer of the Law said, “Not to kill, that is the law. Are we not men?”

“No,” said the dark man in his accented voice, “you are not men. You are beasts walking around on your hind legs like men. You are playing like you are men. But you are not men.”

“See there,” said the Lion Man, “I told you, Sayer. We are
not
men. Just like I been saying all along.”

“He did say that,” one of the beast men said.

“But I thought…” started the Goat Man, but he trailed off. “Goddamn it. We've been bumfuzzled.”

“And to think I gave up meat,” said the Lion Man. “You know how much I like meat.”

“That wasn't a big problem for me,” said the Goat Man. “But now I know why my back hurts.”

“Who's to say this man knows anything?” said the Sayer. “He has merely violated the law. He is not the law. Who is he to say who we are? Are we not men?”

“I don't know,” the Lion Man said. “I think maybe, considering what he did to Jerry, we ought to just go with it. You know.”

“You are such pathetic things,” said the dark man. He bent over, grabbed Jerry's carcass, began to suck at the wound in the creature's neck.

“Oh my,” said the Lion Man. “Oh God, that looks good.”

The dark man tossed the corpse aside, as easily as if it were made of straw. “Have a taste, my friend. You were born to it.”

The Lion Man slowly dropped to all fours, edged toward the corpse.

“Don't listen to him,” said the Sayer. “Not to go on all fours, that is the law. Not to eat meat or fish, that is the law.”

“Don't get in my way,” said the Lion Man, “that is
my
law.”

“Silence,” said the tall, dark man. “I am the law. I am the power. Try me, if you think I am not.”

The crowd watched Bill tear at the meat that had been Jerry the Pig Man. The creatures who had been birthed from meat eaters filled their nostrils with the smell of Jerry's blood, eased toward the kill. The others slowly bent until their hands rested in the dirt. From them went up a sigh of relief.

As the carnivorous among them tore at the meat on the ground, and the others watched, the dark man turned to the Sayer, said, “I am Vlad Tepes. The Undead, former ruler of Transylvania and once upon a time a little chunk of Turkey. Or so I think. The memory fades a little with age. From here on out, I am your master.”

The Sayer dropped to his knees.

“Yes, Master, you are the law.”

“From now on, I will call you Wolf.”

“Yes, Master.”

“What of Doctor Momo, our Father?” asked one of the creatures, perhaps a mixture of cat and squirrel.

“Whoever he is,” said Vlad, “he is nothing compared to me. I am the power and all the power you need or know. Forget this one you call the father. I am more powerful. And where I come from, the strong rule.”

Vlad's voice made the air tremble, worked inside of them like a parasite, seized their skulls and shook their gray matter.

“The nose in the crotch,” Vlad said to the Sayer, whom he now called Wolf. “You can stop that. And do not sniff my posterior either. It annoys me.”

Behind them the sky had started to lighten.

“I will return to my coffin now,” said the Transylvanian. “You and your friends carry me to some place soft, not out in the open, bury me before daylight. The light greatly disturbs my eyes. By the way… Is this Asia?”

The beast looked puzzled.

“I thought not. Now do as I say.”

With that, the dark man climbed back into his coffin. Wolf fastened on the lid. The beasts picked up the box and carried it into the jungle.

As daybreak broke, Hickok and Annie found themselves exhausted. They had tried to trip their door's latch from the inside, but failing that, they had spent the night making love, which was not a bad consolation prize.

Now, as daylight trickled in through the barred windows and exhaustion set in, Hickok wished he had spent at least a portion of the night sleeping.

Annie rose naked from the sheets, walked to the bathroom in that beautiful way only a well-built woman can walk, ran a bath. She loved the way the water got hot out of the tap. She had always had to have her water heated on a stove. There were good things about Doctor Momo and his island. But not many.

While she waited for the water to reach the right temperature, she returned to the bedroom, said, “And what are our plans now?”

“I would say, at least until nightfall, intercourse is not in the near future. I think I've pulled something.”

Annie smiled. “Actually, I think I could interest you rather quickly.”

“Yes,” Hickok said. “But please don't. I hope to have this little item for future years to come, and not lose it in one exciting and lovely day. You are most energetic, my dear.”

“You know what I can't help but think about, in spite of myself?” Annie said, losing her smile.

“What?”

“Poor Bull. Locked alone in his room with nothing to do.”

“Goddamn. That hurt, Cat,” Bull said.

“Sorry,” she said.

“No. It hurt good. Keep on doin' what Cat doin'.”

She did. When she finished, she said, “Bull, do you love me?”

“Love? Love too soon. Only first date.”

“Date?”

“Never mind. Stupid thing white men do.”

“Doctor Momo tells me that he loves me. He always says it before he mounts me.”

“Bull love,” he said, taking her from behind.

Doctor Momo, reluctant to rise from his bed, screamed for Jack. Jack bolted into the room. “Yes, Doctor.”

“Where is Cat?”

“I don't know, Doctor. Haven't seen her.”

“It is time for her to have her reading lesson.”

“I thought you usually put the old horse dick to her about now.”

“True. But reading is close behind. And she must take her shot. Find her, will you.”

Jack bounded out of the room, yelling, “Cat! Cat! Get your ass in here.”

Inside Bull's room, Cat heard Jack screaming for her as he ran down the hall.

“Oh no. The doctor is looking for me. It's time for what he calls dorking.”

“Dorking?”

“What we have been doing.”

“Oh.”

“Then I have my reading lesson and my shot.”

“Shot?”

“He gives me, and himself, an injection with a hypodermic. If he does not, he will lose his horse member. And I…I will convert back to neither what I am now nor what I was. I will be like the others on the island. The beast men.

“I will not be a success, but a failure. That is what the doctor calls the others on the island. Failures. Jack and I are his successes. I must go. If he finds me here, he will have me whipped. He might not give me my shot. And we are in the middle of an excellent Dickens novel as well. I want to know what happens to little Nell. You understand, do you not?”

Bull nodded. “Go, Cat. Go.”

As Cat pulled on her clothes, she said, “I will have to trip the latch from the outside again, so he will not be suspicious.”

“Give Bull key.”

“It fits all the rooms. Hide it.”

Cat gave Bull the key, and when she left, he locked himself in from the inside.

After Doctor Momo saw Cat and did his thing and did her thing and gave her a shot and one for himself, he went to Cody's room. When he opened the door, Ned opened his eyes.

“Ah,” said the doctor. “You are keeping our guest company?”

Ned nodded.

“Good. Good. Take that blanket off his head.” Ned removed it.

The doctor removed the lid from the case, tapped Cody sharply on the head with his knuckles.

“Hey, goddamn it,” Cody said. Then: “Why, Doctor Momo. My apologies. I was asleep.”

“Quite all right, my good man. Interested in that body today? Hhmmmmm? Hhhhmmmmmmmmm?”

“Yes. Yes I am. Might it be too much to ask that Ned here accompany us? I have grown quite fond of him.”

Ned rose in such a way as to seem at attention. Or as close to attention as a seal can get. Doctor Momo studied him. “Why yes. That will be quite all right. Come, Ned. Jack. Get in here.”

Jack, who had been waiting outside in the hallway, bounded into the room. “Get Colonel Cody's head, will you?”

Jack put the lid on the container, picked up the whole affair, including the waste box, and away they went.

Hickok and Annie bathed together, then dressed. Both were in need of breakfast and coffee. They were discussing that when the door was unlocked, pushed aside, and there stood Bull with Cat.

“Horse dick in shack with Cody's head,” Bull said.

“It's a laboratory,” Cat explained. “It is the House of Discomfort.” She shook. “I was created there. It is a terrible place. Once when I was sassy he took me there. He will be there for hours. I can show you to the other side of the island.”

“You have been to the other side of the island?” Annie asked. “We made it about halfway, I think. You've been beyond that point?”

Cat nodded. “Before…before I was Catherine. When I was just…a cat. I remember some of it.”

“The other side of the island isn't hard to find,” Hickok said. “You just walk around the beach. The problem is the monkey men. We are now under house arrest. They won't let us leave the compound.”

“Not to worry,” Bull said. “Cat have plan.”

Good, thought Hickok, a former house cat with a horse vagina has a plan.

Cat unlocked Doctor Momo's room, and they entered.

“Where is that little weasel Jack?” Hickok asked.

“With the doctor. He is nearly always with the doctor.”

There was a crystal container on the nightstand, a hypodermic needle.

“What is this?” said Annie. “Is the doctor some kind of addict?”

“It is the serum that keeps me from turning back to what I was.” Annie took the glass knob out of the top of the container and sniffed. “Bull, you have a good nose. Tell me what you think?”

Bull sniffed. “Water.”

“No. That is the serum,” Cat said.

“No. Bull said, that water.”

“But it is the serum.”

“Then serum water,” Bull said. “Bull can smell good.”

“Provided you have bothered to bathe,” said Hickok.

“No,” Bull said. “Can smell with nose good.”

“He injects me and himself with water?…But why?”

“Control,” Hickok said. “You see him do himself, it makes it more believable. You don't need this.”

“But, Cat, why did you bring us here?” Annie asked. “To show us that? The serum?”

“No.” Cat rushed them into the next room. There was a large hand-woven carpet in the center of the room. Cat flipped it back. There was a trap door underneath. Cat opened it. There were stairs. They dropped down into darkness.

“It leads to a spot in the jungle,” Cat said. “Doctor Momo has told me all about it.”

“You've never actually been through it?” Annie asked.

“No. But, sometimes, when he drinks too much, he talks of it. He had it built when he first claimed the island. He has showed me how to open it many times.”

“Probably built by the monkey men,” Hickok said. “They seem the smartest and most energetic of his creations. With the exception of yourself, of course, Cat. You have certainly learned a lot in a short time. Way you speak. What you know.”

“I am Doctor Momo's greatest success.”

“Ugh,” Bull agreed.

“We'll take a look,” Hickok said. “We find something, we've got to come back for Cody.”