Five: Out of the Dark (23 page)

y head hurt where I’d whacked it against the stairs the night before. I was surprised I felt no obvious ill effects of the drug—like in a hung-over, hugging-the-toilet kind of way.

The last one to wake, I emerged from the bathroom to three apprehensive stares and one mostly curious one—the curious one being Halli, as she hadn’t been witness to my multiple displays of insanity.

Johnathan wouldn’t meet my gaze. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, looking down at the dishes he was drying.

“Um … okay, I guess. My throat feels like I swallowed a cactus, but other than that …” I shrugged. I really didn’t feel like talking; it was difficult to force air through my ravaged vocal cords and my voice came out in a squeaky whisper.

“Are you hungry? We saved you some lunch.” Halli slid a covered plate across the bar to where I stood.

I really wasn’t hungry. I removed the aluminum foil from the plate and picked up a fork. Then set it back down, shaking my head.

“You really should try to eat something, Paige,” Johnathan continued to avoid my eyes. “At least drink something.” He set a tall glass of water in front of me. I was more than a little devastated that Johnathan had reverted back to the antisocial, scared-to-look-at-me version of his new self.

“Are you gonna tell us what you saw last night?” Alec asked.

“Give her a break,
Alice
, she just woke up and has no voice,” Johnathan said.

“Come on, Johnny, you know you want to know what that stuff made her see, too. I’ve never heard anyone scream like that before in my life! It must have been horrible to make
Paige
scream like that.”

“Alec …” The glass Johnathan held in his hand shattered. We all stared at him in silence as he dropped the remaining glass shards to the floor and wiped the blood from his hand onto his pants. The cool, calm, and collected Johnathan from the previous night had vanished, replaced by the high-strung, on-edge, ready to explode Johnathan we’d been seeing the last few weeks. Gold flecks glinted in his brown eyes.

He walked from behind the bar and toward the stairs.

I stood to follow him, calling out to him to wait for me, but my voice only produced a small squeak. He must have heard the sound, because he stopped walking long enough for me to catch up. We silently climbed the stairs; he stayed a few steps above me. He took down the wards when we reached the exit of the ruined room above our home and I followed him out onto the Underground sidewalk. The darkness and the smell of mold, though familiar, seemed worse than usual.

He walked a few paces, then stopped, his back to me.

I waited.

“Paige,” he finally said. “I don’t … last night …” He slammed his fist into the wall he faced. Small pieces of brick flew around him. He lowered his head and breathed heavily.

“John,” I whisper-croaked. “I’m pretty sure I know what you want to say. Our deal isn’t broken just because you were able to control yourself last night. You still want me to stay away from you.” I know I could have worded that differently so it didn’t sound like I was blaming him, but it hurt me that he couldn’t tolerate me near him. And my childish side wanted to make sure he knew it.

His hands tightened into fists and it took him a moment to respond. “You know I don’t
want
you to stay away. I
need
you to—for your own safety.” He turned to face me, looking me in the eyes for the first time that day.

“Last night, I think I used up all the hormones or adrenaline or whatever makes me act like a rabid animal.” He paused and drew a deep, shaky breath before continuing in a slightly less angry tone. “I used it all up on those scumbags that were hurting you. Then, you were so freaked out, screaming … your eyes were
crazy
. I was afraid … so afraid, that you were lost … that I would never see
you
again … just those crazy eyes darting back and forth … looking at things that weren’t there. I was so scared your mind was blown like all those kids at the school.”

He sat on the remains of the centuries-old sidewalk and lowered his head to his arms, folded on bent knees.

I wanted to go to him, to comfort him as he had me the night before. But I sat a safe distance away and waited for him to collect himself.

Finally, he looked up, but not at me this time. He stared at the dilapidated building across the street and started chucking pieces of broken stone at it. “Anyway, I could handle being close to you last night. The fight, the fear, all the adrenaline spent—it all made me forget about the … the
beast
I’ve become … and, I could handle it. I could be close to you and help you, and comfort you …”

He was suffering. More so than I was. I felt like a real jerk for having played the guilt card.

“It’s okay. I understand. It was a one-time thing and I’m forever grateful to you. I wouldn’t have survived without your help and strength. I’ll keep my distance, like I promised. Don’t worry,” I said.
And I
will
find a way to fix this. Soon.

“I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this,” Johnathan whispered, almost to himself. He threw a rock hard enough to break a large piece of brick off of the opposing wall. “I want to be near you, Paige. I hope you know that. I want that more than almost anything. But I won’t compromise your safety for my own wishes. I can’t. It has to be this way for your safety. Maybe I should just leave …”

“Don’t say that ever again. Ever. You aren’t going anywhere. We’ll find a way to fix this, John, I promise.” I wanted to tell him I was close to figuring out a way, but I didn’t want him to start asking questions about how. There was no way he would be okay with what I was planning. No way.

“I’m just being realistic, Paige. There is no way to
fix
this. If it gets any worse … if I even come close to losing control again … I
will
leave. I have to.”

Oh, he infuriated me! The fact that I had no voice was probably a good thing because I would’ve let him have it—loudly. However, because my voice was nothing but a whisper of sound, I picked up a broken brick and chucked it at him instead. Not hard, just hard enough to get his attention.

“No, Johnathan. It won’t come to that. You will not leave me.” With that, I walked back into our hidden home and left him to brood in the dark, damp street.

Alec and Halli still sat at the bar and Seth had just finished cleaning up the broken glass Johnathan had crushed in his hand.

I sat at one of the tables and laid my head on my arms. The pounding headache I’d expected upon awakening had finally arrived. It could have been triggered by stress, from falling on the stairs, or from ingesting a horrible drug, or possibly from all three.

Seth spoke quietly, like he didn’t want me to hear what he said, “We need to tell her. It’s coming up fast and we need to plan for it this time. Halli, why don’t you go tell her?”

“I’ll tell her,” Alec didn’t try to keep me from hearing him.

“Let’s all go talk to her. It isn’t like it’s a surprise or anything. She knows it’s coming, too,” Halli said. She jumped down from the bar stool and came over to the table where I sat. Alec and Seth followed her.

I lifted my head and wheezed, “You guys aren’t very good at whispering. What do you need to tell me?”

Alec and Seth both looked at Halli. “It’s nothing you don’t already know, we’re just reminding you so we can plan ahead.”

“Reminding me of what?”

“Well, there’s another full moon tomorrow night …”

A distressed choking sound escaped my throat and I buried my face in my arms. “I
know
there’s a full moon tomorrow night. Do you think I haven’t been keeping track of when Johnathan would change into a monster again?” I
had
been keeping track, all the while hoping a cure would present itself. One hadn’t.

The others were silent for a minute.

“So …” Alec broke the silence. “We should figure out what the plan is … you know, for Johnathan … so he doesn’t go on a killing rampage.”

“Alec, seriously. Do you have to be such a jerk?” Seth snapped.

“I’m not being a jerk, I’m just being realistic.”

“We all know why we need a plan, Alec. You didn’t need to spell it out for us. You’re so insensitive sometimes.” Halli said, then placed her hand on my arm in support.

I sat up straight. No time for further wallowing. “Thanks for reminding me. You’re right. We do need a plan. I think we should go back to the park we were at last time. The place was pretty secluded and was easy for us to ward. What time do you think we should go? Early enough that we can prepare the circle in plenty of time.” I was out of breath by the end of that short speech. I used up a lot of extra energy to force air through my battered vocal chords.

“I think we should go early in the evening,” Seth proposed. “At least a couple of hours before the moon is set to rise. That should give us enough time to prepare.”

“What time is it supposed to rise?” I asked.

“According to the almanac, at 8:18.”

“So, we should plan on being in place at the park by five or six,” I concluded.

The others nodded.

“We should roast marshmallows or make s’mores or something … you know,
before
we have to lock Johnny in the circle.” Alec looked around at the rest of us. “It doesn’t have to be such a downer this time, now that we know what to expect.”

I just rolled my eyes at him. Leave it to Alec to bring food into any situation. “I think we should figure out a way to prevent John from scratching up his face this time,” I said, remembering the horrible gouges from the Wolf’s enormous claws.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Halli agreed. “Any ideas?”

“Duct tape,” Seth suggested. “Duct tape is the miracle invention of the century. We can tape his hands together before we close the circle. That would make it harder for him to tear at his face.”

“That’s an idea … but will duct tape be strong enough? He’s strong already, but when he
changes
, I’m pretty sure his strength increases like a hundredfold,” I said.

Alec tapped a finger on the table. “Maybe a combination of duct tape and a binding spell to keep the tape intact and in place …”

I thought about that for a second. “Good idea, Alec. Do you know a binding spell that’ll work?”

“I just happen to,” he smirked. “I found it necessary to experiment with duct tape and binding spells once … or twice, maybe.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think I want to know the details of your
experimentation
.”

“No, no! It was nothing weird. Just a broken frame on a bike that I desperately needed.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Seriously, Paige, that’s all it was … well … and maybe I used it again to win a bet. And, it’s a good thing I did, because
that’s
how I know it’ll work on skin without ripping it off when all is done.”

“What kind of a bet … never mind, I don’t want to know.” I shook my head. “We’ll give it a try as long as it’s okay with Johnathan.”

“Speaking of Johnathan, where is he?” Seth asked.

My stomach did a little flip as the thought occurred to me that he may have played another disappearing act. Things would not turn out well if he
turned
without us there to lock him up. “He was just outside on the sidewalk. Will you go see if he’s still there, Seth?” My energy was running low, plus I didn’t want to be the one to discover him missing if he wasn’t there.

“Sure,” Seth jumped up and headed for the stairs.

“I’m gonna go practice that binding spell, it’s been a while since I used it.” Alec stood and walked to the back room where we stored stuff.

“Hal, can you bring me some water and ibuprofen? My head is killing me,” I whispered.

“Of course, you should really try to eat something, too,” she said as she stood.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea right now.” My voice was almost completely gone and just came out as a wheeze of air.

Halli was gone only a short time. She placed a glass of water, two ibuprofens, and a package of crackers on the table in front of me. I choked the pills down. The thought of eating the crackers caused my stomach to rebel. I pushed them away and willed the medicine to stay down. I wasn’t necessarily sick to my stomach. It was more of an anxiety reaction. The thought of eating made my stomach irritable; I didn’t feel sick as long as I didn’t think about or look at food.

“Paige, when you’re ready to talk about last night, I’ll be here,” Halli said.

“I know you will, Hal,” I paused then shook my head as the images tried to return. “It was horrible and I don’t
want
to relive it, but I think I need to get it out. Maybe when my voice comes back a little, ’kay?”

The door at the top of the stairs opened and I held my breath until I saw two sets of feet descending. Johnathan was still there.

Seth brought him over to where we sat. Johnathan sat as far from me as he could while remaining at the same table.

“Seth said you guys need to talk to me,” Johnathan stated without looking up from his hands.

I gestured for Seth to speak; I didn’t think I could squeak one more word out.

Seth swallowed before beginning, “Well, John … tomorrow night is … well, it’s time for … for another full moon.” He paused and looked at Johnathan expectantly.