Five Minutes Late: A Billionaire Romance (22 page)

Mom laughed, and my boss looked even more insufferably pleased with himself.

“It is plain to see that my stunning Ashley derives both her lovely features and her bold nature from you, Ms. Daniels – and tell me, do you think she knows about us yet?”

That’s when the bastard leaned over and planted a kiss on Mom’s cheek. He followed up by draping an arm over her shoulders, and that’s when I threw a biscuit at him.

He dodged the crisp golden missile like a pro, and the biscuit crashed to earth somewhere in the vicinity of the oven.

Mom glanced back over her shoulder at the impact zone and then turned to our guest.

“Well, Mr. Killane, I’d say that proves my daughter is crazy about you – otherwise, I can’t see her sacrificing a perfectly good sourdough biscuit like that.”

She delivered this remark with the casual tone of a commentator reading off the latest figures on pork belly futures; then she picked up a plate and started loading it down with an assortment of everything her kitchen table had to offer.

“And since she’s busy working on her hormone overload, I’ll just fix up a plate for you, okay? The way I figure it, we need to polish off the rest of these biscuits before she starts heaving them at you too.”

“Wow, way to immediately take the gorgeous annoying guy’s side over your own daughter, Mom – while you’re at it, why not just jump him right in front of me, on this convenient table?” I heaved my best aggravated sigh, but neither of them so much as turned a hair.

“Be practical, honey – if I have my way with him on the table, dinner will end up all over the floor.”

“Beautiful Ashley, you wound me – surely you understand I would never ravish your lovely mother before your eyes? I would at least have the common decency to take her into the next room, and if I could keep my hands off her long enough, I’d even close the door first to minimize the noise levels of our passionate lovemaking.”

They stared at me with wide, innocent eyes, and Mom held on for all of three seconds before burying her face in her hands and cackling laughter like a hen on crack. Mr. K found the strength to keep his poker face on for another breath or two before breaking into his infamous ear-to-ear grin that no woman could resist.

A smart girl knows when to admit defeat.

“Fine, you two have at each other like a couple of randy bunny rabbits – I’ll just be sitting here finishing off the pumpkin pie without you.” I cut myself an impressive slice of home-baked goodness, topped it off with a generous swirl of whipped cream, and I made it as far as picking up my fork before collapsing into a helpless fit of giggles.

Once I recovered and was able to breathe and form words again, Mom thumped a full plate down in front of my boss, passed him a glass of eggnog – complete with cinnamon and vanilla, yum – and steered the conversation back into the realm of sanity.

“Mr. Killane, mind if I ask why you’re here propositioning two women at once and eating my food? It’s fun and all to meet Ashley’s new boyfriend, but shouldn’t you be –”

“Mom, he is not my –”

“Yes he is, sweetheart, shut up.”

Mr. K pretended not to notice our verbal sparring. “As it happens, I am here basking in the presence of two lovely women for one specific reason – I wish to ask the bold and beautiful Ashley a question.”

I gave him my best casual shrug. “Fire when ready, boss.”

“I’d like to ask if you might be willing to accompany me on a date.”

I choked, coughed, and stared at him. Thoughts raced through my brain like lightning, and after due consideration of all the possible responses to his question, I chose to say, “Huh?”

Yes, I’m all sharp like that when impossibly hot billionaires ask me out during Saturday night dinner.

Mom felt the need to apologize for me. “Believe it or not, Mr. Killane, I did raise her to be way more sensible and on the ball than this – you just have some weird effect on her, I guess.”

“Mom, do you mind? And Mr. K, you mean a date as in today? Like, right now?”

“Granted, I would be asking you to abandon those biscuits and desert the company of your delightful mother as well, but I had hoped you might be willing to make such a sacrifice for my sake.”

“Well … where would we be going?”

“I have no idea, but I propose we share the adventure of finding out. Will you join me?”

“But I can’t just leave Mom to deal with putting away all these leftovers and washing a mountain of dishes by herself …”

Why was I trying to talk my way out of this?

Mom buried her face in her hands, shook her head, and then looked up and glared at me.

“Dear God in heaven, Ashley, ‘I can’t go out with the intriguing hot guy because I have to do dishes’ has to be the lamest excuse for avoiding a date in the history of Planet Earth. Grab your keys, get out the door, and you can tell me all about it tomorrow, okay?”

“Mom, I don’t –”

“Yes, Ashley, you do, and don’t deny it. Now, go start your car while I talk to Mr. Killane for a minute, all right?”

When she put her small foot down like this, there was no resisting the Almighty Power of Mom. I got my round ass outside.

Mr. Killane came striding out of Mom’s house just as the Honda’s cranky, coughing engine accepted that it was going to have to run and keep running, like it or not. My maybe-boyfriend opened the passenger side door, started to get in, and realized the interior geography of the Honda was not going to allow that without some serious seat adjustment. He slid the shotgun seat all the way back, creating more or less enough room for his long legs, and then he levered himself inside.

“My, this promises to be a grand expedition – shall we begin?”

I glanced around for a gleaming Killane Corporate Holdings limousine. “So where’s your ride? And why aren’t we taking it out on the town, instead of my powered-by-a-sick-hamster-running-a-broken-wheel Honda?”

“I had my driver deposit me here before he went off duty for the night – after all, would a ‘regular guy’ take a lovely young woman out on a date in a limousine?”

I thought about saying that our theoretical regular guy would have shown up in a regular guy kind of car, but I somehow doubted this guy owned any cars that cost less than Mom’s house.

“So then where exactly are we going? No, let me guess – you haven’t even begun to think that part through yet, have you?”

“Drive, Ashley – simply drive, and we shall see what random chance provides.”

Less than a minute after I pulled out into the street and pointed the Honda’s nose in the general direction of downtown, Mr. K asked, “Unless you would prefer that I drive? Is that something a ‘regular guy’ would do on a genuine date? I hope you’ll forgive me, but I’m afraid my experience in this area is shockingly limited.”

“That depends – how often do you drive yourself somewhere? As in taking the wheel of a normal car and dealing with traffic and the unexpected all on your own, instead of being squired somewhere in a limo by one of your minions?”

He stared up at the tattered lining of the Honda’s roof, chewing absently at his lip as he ran through his inventory of memories. “Hmmm … when I was fifteen, I stole a car belonging to the headmaster of my boarding school – does that count?”

“Why the hell did you steal the guy’s car?”

“Because I no longer wished to attend that particular school – it was my third school in as many years, and even more dreadful than the previous ones. As the headmaster’s draconian policies in general and his hatred for me in particular were the greater reasons for my miserable experience there, it seemed only fair that he provide the means of my transportation into the next phase of my life.”

“Did you get caught? No, wait – first things first, did you know how to drive yet?”

“It was an automatic, so I reasoned it would be easy enough to figure out – as for being caught, once the car and I ended up in a ditch twenty miles away, I climbed out, hiked into the nearest town, and told the authorities the first story that came into my head. Thanks to my storytelling abilities and my relatives’ willingness to spend money to erase trouble, no – I did not in fact end up having to accept so much as a shred of responsibility for my actions that day. I did have to endure a dreary hour or so of assorted Killanes shouting at me over the phone before they shipped me to a different school in another state, but all in all, I counted the day’s events as adding up to a win for me.”

“Big guy?”

“Yes, lovely Ashley?”

“I am so driving.”

Twenty minutes of random turns later, we rounded a corner in one of the seamier parts of town – Mr. Killane found the shuttered pawn shops and dingy liquor stores ‘fascinating’ – and discovered a diner that was open to rake in the business of people who couldn’t stand eating with their families, people who didn’t have families, and random riff-raff like me and my boss.

I nudged the Honda up to the curb across the street – I wanted my elderly baby in sight, because I didn’t trust anybody who was roaming the streets at night in this neighborhood – and we hurried over to where the diner huddled beneath its buzzing, popping, half-lit neon sign.

Inside, we found friends.

The homeless doughnut crew from my days at main reception sat side by side atop classic retro stools at the diner’s glaring white Formica counter. Jerry, Bob, Eduardo, and Michael the revolutionary looked up from their cups of coffee – coffee they were rationing out for as long as the employees would let them stay, if I knew the guys – as the door’s jangling bell announced our entrance.

Jerry bellowed, “It’s Ashley! Ashley, you’re NICE!” He paused, peered at Mr. Killane with his vague, watery eyes, and then turned up the volume and added, “HI, MR. BOSS!”

Bob, enormous and gentle as ever, smiled like a kid on Christmas morning. “Miss Ashley, I saw you on a magazine cover, and you looked as pretty as real life. Is that your boyfriend?”

Eduardo looked around to make sure he wouldn’t be interrupting anyone, then said, “It’s nice to see you again, Miss Daniels. Would you like some coffee?”

Michael grinned, and it made him look way younger than his nineteen years. “Ashley, you’re the best! Sit down and hang out with us for a bit, okay?”

He aimed a wary look at Mr. Killane. “But are you sure this guy can be trusted? Capitalist robber barons like Devon Killane see the workers of the world as nothing more than grist for the corporate mill, you know that.”

“Michael, I know that he’s a nice guy and that you should give him a chance.”

Eager to head off any Marxist rants, I looked up at Mr. K as I waved at each of the guys in turn. “Boss, you know Jerry, the big quiet one is Bob, Eduardo here is sweet and knows everything about plants, and this firebrand champion of the working class is Michael. Guys, this is my – ”

“I am Devon Killane, I have the honor of being the beautiful Ashley’s boyfriend, and I am delighted to meet you all.”

Mr. Killane moved into high-end charming mode, wearing that irresistible smile as he stepped forward and shook Jerry’s trembling hand, Bob’s huge paw, and Eduardo’s calloused hand with its neatly trimmed fingernails. He finished by clasping Michael’s right hand in both of his.

“Michael, I hope you can come to trust me enough to share some coffee and conversation – for Ashley’s sake?”

Michael’s shifting mental world made it hard to guess which way he’d jump in a situation like this – but after a moment of consideration, he exchanged a firm shake with Mr. Killane.

“If you’re sure he’s all right, Ashley, then I guess he can hang with us too.”

The sour-faced waitress behind the counter chose that moment to speak up – and sure, she was probably tired and all, but this woman was too cranky to live, much less be working around people

“Nobody’s hanging anywhere unless you guys pony up for something else – nursing a coffee apiece for two hours is ridiculous, and in case you didn’t notice, this is a place of business, not a charity for homeless leeches.” She tucked a greasy curl of dyed red hair behind one ear and then glared at every last one of us as if we were roaches she couldn’t wait to squash.

Before I could launch myself over the counter at the bitch, Mr. Killane pulled out his wallet, amped up his smile, and drenched his voice in syrup.

 “If you’ll permit me, Ms. …” – he glanced at the nametag pinned to one side of her skanky cleavage – “…Melanie, I’d like to treat these gentlemen to whatever meals will gain them the privilege of occupying your fine establishment for as long as they’d like.” He waved a Killane Corporate Holdings credit card at her.

The slut sniffed out the potential in this situation for an enormous tip in the same way a shark scents blood in the water. She switched off her snotty-evil-bitch personality in an instant, slapped on her smiling-gum-snapping-bitch face, and sidled up to the counter.

“Handsome, I will keep the food and the coffee and whatever else they want coming all night long, if it makes you happy. Can I, ah, get you anything?” She batted her mascara-caked lashes at him in the most blatant example of eyefucking I’d ever seen.

Ms. Trampalicious never noticed it, but I saw the thin edge of anger under my guy’s smile. He held onto himself like a champ, though, and answered her by leaning over, sliding his arm around me, and dusting a kiss onto my cheek. “Ashley, my love, what would you like?”

“A vanilla shake will set me up just fine, sweetheart.” I dropped that endearment in there just to jangle Melanie’s trampy little nerves, and the bitch did not disappoint – she shot me a look that was the visual equivalent of shanking me with a prison blade.

“Is that all, my adorable and enchanting Ashley?”

“Sure, honey – I’m still kind of full from dinner.” True, but I was also taking into consideration the fact that the milkshake machine was right in front of us, on the far side of the counter; I was reasonably sure anything I ordered that involved our girl Melanie going into the kitchen and out of our sight was something she’d happily spit in.

“Then I’ll add to that a black coffee for myself, and that will be all – but if you wouldn’t mind, Ms. Melanie, my credit card and I would appreciate it ever so much if you took care of these gentlemen’s orders first.” He waved at the guys, who brightened up to varying degrees as they realized warm food was about to come their way.