Fit for the Job (34 page)

Bodie answered the phone as Jay toddled toward the bathroom. “Eben, how are you?”

“Ah, not sure how to answer that.” Eben laughed. “Relieved, mostly. How are you? I checked your room but you weren’t there.”

It dawned on Bodie then that Eben knew nothing about his relationship with Jay. He’d gotten so used to Sassy and Evelyn teasing them about it, he’d begun to assume everyone knew. But Eben hadn’t been around. “I’m at the guest house, with Jay,” he said.

“Oh, okay. Is he all right?” Eben asked. “I think I kind of snapped at him last night. But I’m gonna talk to him later on. I really appreciate him helping you out with Sassy. I still feel all panicky even though she’s safe and home. I can’t seem to turn it off.”

“That’s understandable; it was a hell of a scare. Jay’s fine,” Bodie said. “We were gonna go get something to eat. But Eben, he did more than help out. Jay’s the one who figured out where she was.”

Eben sighed. “You know, I knew that. I heard it all last night with the cops, but my head is still kind of fuzzy. I keep checking on Sassy every five minutes, she’s ready to kill me.”

“How is she doing?”

“Pretty well, actually. She’s talking to me, so that’s a big change. I think we’re making progress. We had a very long and very intense talk this morning. She said she loves me.”

Bodie grinned. “I’d say that’s more than progress. That’s great, Eben.”

“Yeah, I’m happy. But Bodie, Sassy is the reason I called you. I have some news.”

Bodie looked up as Jay stepped into the room. He smiled at Bodie, then mouthed ‘coffee’ and headed out of the bedroom again, pulling on a tee shirt.

“Okay,” Bodie said. “What’s up?”

“Can you come by around two?” Eben asked. “We’re gonna have a family meeting. Don’t bring Jay, but tell him to be around later this afternoon, I want to talk to him, too.”

“Um, okay, sure.”

“I’m quitting the film,” Eben said.

Bodie sat up straight, swinging his feet over onto the floor. “You are?”

“Yeah. They were not happy when I told them of my decision, especially since we’ve done so much shooting already. I feel bad, but what the hell, family comes first. I’ll probably have to pay some reparations to the producers, but for the most part they understand, especially considering what happened last night. I need to take my daughter home. I need to take some time off and fix what got broken.”

Bodie’s heart pounded. “When? I mean, when are you...we going back home?”

“By the end of the week,” he said. “You okay with that?”

“Ah, yeah. Of course,” Bodie said, his head spinning.

“You still want to work for me, right? I know this hasn’t been an easy couple of months. But I’m hoping it will get better from here on.”

“Yeah,” Bodie said. “It’ll be fine.”

“Bodie, I’ve been a basketcase the past two months. I made some really bad decision while I was going through this thing with Sassy. If you ever felt like I manipulated or took advantage of you, I sincerely apologize. Without you, I couldn’t have gotten through this.”

“It was tough on everyone,” Bodie said. “No need to apologize.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go eat, but come by around two. I’ll speak to Jay later on and settle up with him, but don’t tell him anything yet. I’m his employer, so it should come from me. I feel terrible about dragging him into all this, then cutting his job short. But I’ll make sure he’s compensated.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand,” Bodie said.

“Okay, talk later.”

Bodie hung up and set the phone down, staring at the wall.
By the end of the week.

“Shit,” Bodie said.

“Hey, coffee’s ready,” Jay said, stepping into the bedroom.

Bodie looked up at him. How was he supposed to keep this from Jay until later? He’d have to tell him. But he couldn’t yet. Not with Jay standing there, giving him that smile, the one that melted his heart.

Bodie stood. “Coffee sounds good. Then I think we should get in the shower and cleanse all of last night’s badness off us.”

Jay crossed the room and grabbed Bodie around the waist, drawing him in. “Can we get up to our own badness in the shower?”

Bodie kissed him slow and deep, savoring the textures of his mouth, the sweet, familiar flavor of it.

Jay gasped when Bodie broke the kiss. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Jay said.

“Coffee can wait,” Bodie said. “Let’s go get wet and naked. Right now.” He could hear the desperation in his own voice.

Jay looked into his eyes. “Okay. Now.”

He led Jay to the bathroom, feeling sad, and guilty, and aroused all at the same time. But he needed this right now, needed to be close to Jay, to affirm all of the feelings he was having. He needed to cling to him, to experience that unique bond they had before truths were revealed and they had to deal with the inevitability of the near future.

They stripped down and Jay started the shower. Bodie stepped in behind him, pressing his chest against Jay’s back, his hands roaming over his stomach. His cock stiffened, pressing into the curve of Jay’s ass.

Jay leaned back into him as the spray blasted over them. Then he turned around, picking up the soap.

Their lips locked, slippery with the running water. Unable to stop kissing, they kept at it while they lathered each other, returning to each other’s mouths over and over, tongues gliding together.

“This is nice,” Jay said as he slid the soap down over Bodie’s ass. “We should do this again sometime soon.”

Bodie kissed him so he wouldn’t have to respond, his heart aching even as his body pulsed with desire. He left Jay’s lips and tongued his way down his neck, over his chest, finally dropping to his knees before his groin.

Jay fell back against the shower wall as Bodie took him in his mouth. His hands stroked Bodie’s head, gripping handfuls of wet hair. Bodie cupped Jay’s balls as he sucked him in, savoring him, his own cock stiffening harder with the sounds of Jay’s huffing breath.

“Wait,” Jay said, pushing him back. “Stand up.”

Bodie stood and Jay pressed against him, turning him so his back was to the wall. “Let’s do this together,” Jay said, and grabbed the soap.

Jay reached between them and soaped their cocks, stroking Bodie, making his head spin with pleasure.

“There,” Jay whispered, dropping the soap and taking both of their erections in his fist. “Now kiss me like you’ll never stop.”

Bodie gasped, pulling Jay’s mouth to his.

Jay held their cocks together and stroked while Bodie ate his mouth, holding the back of his head, trying to get as deep as he could.

‘
Kiss me like you’ll never stop
.’

But they would have to stop. By the end of the week.

Bodie’s throat tightened, something close to a sob wanting to escape even as he edged closer to orgasm. Jay groaned into Bodie’s mouth, stroking them faster.

Bodie broke the kiss as his balls tightened up. “I love you,” he said in a hard breath.

Jay inhaled sharply, fist tightening around them as he climaxed, spilling his seed. The rush of hot fluids Bodie felt splash against his stomach brought him over a mere second later, and he groaned as ecstasy pulsed with each stroke of Jay’s fist.

“Fuck,” Jay said, his voice tight as he milked them both while they came. “God, Bodie. I love you, too.”

Bodie caught Jay as his legs started to give out, grabbing him around his back and pulling his body in tight. Jay’s head fell forward, resting on Bodie’s shoulder.

They remained there, silent for a time, coming down from the climax. Bodie stroked his hands up and down Jay’s back, the spray of the shower the only sound. Jay kept his head down as he said softly, “Did you mean it?”

Sliding his hands up, Bodie grasped Jay’s face and pulled him in, kissing him. When he eased back, Jay looked spellbound, a small frown pinching his brows.

“Yeah,” Bodie said. “I meant it.”

And he did.

The problem was, he still hadn’t the slightest idea what he was supposed to do about it now. In the military he’d been trained to think fast, to resolve problems quickly as they presented. He wasn’t used to his mind seizing up like this, unable to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Even though holding onto Jay felt like the right thing, the rightest thing he’d ever had, he feared he wouldn’t be able to stop him from slipping through his fingers.

****

They sat across from each other at the Modern Diner, Jay studying Bodie as he poked at his fries. Something was bothering Bodie, and Jay was afraid to ask what it was, considering their orgasmic declarations in the shower. He was afraid Bodie might be regretting his words. But it was more likely he was pondering where those words might lead, since they still had that pesky issue of living across the country from each other.

Jay opted for a cautious inquiry. “What did Eben say? How is Sassy doing? Poor kid must be freaked out today.”

Bodie glanced up and smiled. “She’s good. Eben says they’re talking. He sounded hopeful.”

Jay nodded as Bodie went back to staring at his fries.

“What’s wrong?” Jay asked, finally losing patience with his verbal restraint.

Bodie set his fork down. “I have to tell you something. Eben asked me not to, because he wants to talk to you himself later. But I have to tell you.”

Jay swallowed hard, gathering from Bodie’s sad expression that this was serious. “What is it?”

“I have a family meeting at two over at the house. Eben quit the film. He wants to take Sassy back to California by the end of the week.”

The breath leaked out of Jay. Slowly, he set down the half of his sandwich he held. “Oh.”

“Eben wanted to speak to you himself,” Bodie said. “He thought it should come from him. He says you’ll be compensated, though.”

“I don’t care about compensation,” Jay said. He looked at Bodie. “This sucks.”

“I know,” Bodie said. “It sucks huge.”

Jay leaned back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He shook his head. “By the end of the week. Wow.”

Bodie nodded, looking anguished. Jay didn’t know what to say. He was hoping Bodie would say something, but he just sat there, staring back at him.

“So this means you’re leaving, too,” Jay said. “By the end of the week.”

“I don’t want to,” Bodie said. “But I don’t see another choice. I need the job.”

Jay nodded. “I know.” He shrugged. “It’s just...this sucks!”

“I could come back,” Bodie said. “To visit.”

Jay said nothing.

“Or you could come visit me,” Bodie said.

“Or you could blow up your whole life and move to Providence so we could fuck each other twenty-four seven,” Jay said.

Bodie chuckled. “Don’t think I haven’t considered that. But I had a hard time finding a job before Eben hired me. Jobs like this, bodyguard stuff, a lot of it is military related, and I don’t want anything to do with that. It’s kind of rough out there. I need to support myself. I joined the army pretty young. I did all sorts of classes and training for my last job, but it’s so specialized. Outside the military, I just don’t have that many skills.”

“Oh, you’re very skilled,” Jay said, grinning.

“Skills I can get paid for,” Bodie said, then laughed. “Don’t say it.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Jay said. “I’m already far too possessive to let you be a hooker.”

Bodie’s smile slipped, and he looked into Jay’s eyes. “This doesn’t negate anything that happened with us. I meant everything. Every touch. Every word. I just don’t...I don’t know what to do now.”

“I understand your predicament,” Jay said. “It just seems like...I don’t know. You told me you love me. I feel like...that should mean something.”

“It does!” Bodie took Jay’s hand in his. “You remember the first night you kissed me?”

Jay smiled. “Vividly.”

“You said it doesn’t have to mean anything. And I said yes, it does. I meant it back then. You’ve undone me from the start. This doesn’t happen to me, Jay. It’s never happened to me.”

Jay wanted to shout at him. He wasn’t sure why. He supposed it was because Bodie seemed so resigned and fatalistic about it. Sure, there were complications, but Jay had always thought that if he fell in love,
really
in love, like this, and the person loved him back, they’d figure it out. They’d find a way.

He could have said that now to Bodie. But if Bodie didn’t realize that himself, then he clearly didn’t want it as bad as Jay did. If he wanted it, he’d be thinking the same way. But he wasn’t. He was talking about them
visiting
each other.

If Bodie had at least said they’d try, that he’d
try
to see if they could find a way to be together, then Jay could believe the words he’d said to him in the shower not an hour ago. Jay was stunned and elated when Bodie said he loved him. Little did he know how short lived that elation would be.

‘
This doesn’t happen to me, Jay. It’s never happened to me
.’

Maybe that was it. Bodie had never fallen for someone before. Maybe his version of love wasn’t the same as Jay’s. Maybe his capacity for it was somehow less, and giving everything for it wasn’t something that occurred to him. And if such was the case, then Jay was back to his original suspicion. Bodie just didn’t want it as bad as Jay.

He’d made the quip about Bodie blowing up his life and moving to Providence. But Bodie hadn’t countered with ‘Or you could blow up yours and move to California.’ That would be hard, of course, leaving his family. But Bodie hadn’t even brought it up. He hadn’t asked.

“What are you thinking?” Bodie asked.

Jay shrugged.

“Talk to me, I can’t deal with it, you looking like that. You look miserable. Talk to me.”

Jay chuckled. “What do you want me to say? Other than...you’re breaking my heart.”

“I don’t want to,” Bodie said. “I don’t want to break my own. I just...this is all new for me, and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m handling it badly, aren’t I?”

“I’m not looking miserable for your benefit, Bodie. I’m not trying to argue with you or talk you out of leaving. I’m just...expressing how I feel right now. If you see your only option as going back to California and working for Eben, cutting me out of your life, what can I say to that? Incidentally, this is new for me, too. I don’t fall hard for people on a whim. What happened with you...I thought it meant something.”