Firsts (6 page)

He'd been told he never would; he didn't have the wiring for it; that was the way it was, and he just had to accept it. Thorn typically didn't put much stock in what he was told, but right now, at that moment, the unrealized became completely fulfilled. Having a girl as a best friend didn't give him special powers or keen insight; he didn't understand women, and that would never change.

And even if the skies did open and impart mystic wisdom to his poor, tortured conscious, he would never,ever understand Savannah Evans.

The past twenty-four hours had been a nightmare of ecstasy: dreaming of what he would see and caress, the body he'd lusted after since he knew how to lust. The idea of having Savannah in his arms, a slave to his touch, feeling everythinghe felt through his hands and mouth… He hadn'twanted to do this—not likethis , at least—but he'd needed it all the same. Too much time had been wasted on the sidelines, watching Savannah but never braving the waters to touch her, to let her know the depth of his feelings, all out of fear of losing her.

Losing her, it seemed, was a risk he had to take. Either he made love to her, or she made love to someone else and drifted into territories where he could not follow. Either he stood still and waited for her to realize she was his equal and they belonged at each other's side, or he declared his feelings and scared her away. He would lose her if he did nothing; action, at least, gave him a fighting chance.

He'd gone into the day with a new attitude, reevaluating his concerns and forcing himself to twist his situation into an opportunity rather than an emotional funeral. It was the chance of a lifetime, not a direct path to certain doom. For the first time in their relationship, she might feel what he felt. The fire in his chest finally had the opportunity to channel and explore her, touch her, and maybe, just maybe, she would feel his love and realize what he'd always known.

And if not… Well, he'd had his shot. At least he could try to move on.

An inward snicker.Not possible . He could never get over Savannah.

That had served as his motivation in coming here. Aside from the practicality in his spoken objective—warming up her body, introducing her to what wonders it could do, and giving something as intangible as sex some form and reality—he'd felt certain she would have to feel him. If he poured out his adoration through the worship of her flesh, her eyes would open, and she would finally realize what he'd realized the second he'd met her.

But she hadn't felt a thing. Not a goddamn thing. Every other word out of her mouth played as a reminder ofher motives. She didn't want him; she wanted a quick fix to her virginity, and as her best bloody chum, he was the ideal solution…and he had been here before. When he touched her, she asked if Paige had liked the same thing, as though Thorn would regard her,Savannah , the same way he regarded his easy lay of an ex. Savannah remained as blind as ever, focused on her objective; she didn't want the burden of virginity any longer, and he had the appropriate parts to relieve her of the inconvenience. There was nothing more to it than that.

It was fucking maddening…

And then she did things likethis and had him redefining everything he thought he knew.

“T-teach you?” Thorn repeated shakily, his hands balling into fists. He had to progress very carefully; the world could shatter with a bat of her gorgeous eyes. “Like…you want…”

“I figure I'll have to do this eventually,” Savannah explained hurriedly, her gaze darting to the floor, a warm blush spreading across her cheeks. “So…umm…I thought…if you want me to…”

He laughed nervously. “Savannah, I—”

“If you don't want me to, I won't,” she amended quickly.

The laughter kept coming. He couldn't switch it off, nor could he keep himself from saying something stupid. “Not want a gorgeous girl to wrap her lips around my prick? You really are new to this, aren't you?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He'd officially lost control over words. They lived on their own.

Savannah's face fell, hurt replacing nervousness, andChrist , it was his kryptonite.

“Never mind,” she said. “I just thought… You did it for me, so—”

“Kitten—”

Her head whipped up, her eyes blazing brilliantly. “Don't you 'kitten' me, you big…jerk guy!

I don't… I thought you'd want something. I thought… I don't know what I thought, but I wanted to do something for you, and that seemed like the best thing, and if you can't be decent about it, then…” Savannah's face fell again when words ran empty, gaze redirecting to her bare, bronzed legs. She hadn't bothered dressing in his brief absence, and at the moment, he didn't know whether he should consider himself lucky. It was awkward enough between them without taking nudity into consideration. “I just thought…”

Thorn sighed harshly, running a hand through his hair and hating himself. “Sweetheart,” he said, his voice softer. “Savannah. Will you look at me?”

The request only hardened her stare. She didn't budge.

Well, if she wouldn't come to him, he'd go to her. He found himself kneeling before her the next instant, hands rubbing her thighs of their own volition, waiting for her to relax before raising a hand to her face.

“I'm an ass,” he said plainly.

She snickered.

“A good-looking ass, yeah, but an ass.”

Another snort. “Conceited much?”

“My beauty's a burden, love, not a perk.”

This time she laughed outright and looked up at last. He smiled when he had her eyes. Maybe therewas a chance he could talk himself back from a full-blown train wreck…providing his dick didn't do his talking for him. “You made my brain short-circuit,” he said honestly. “Can't rightly offer a bloke a blow like that and expect him to be anything but…well, this.”

Savannah pouted at him a minute longer. “Jerk.”

“Yeah.”

“Iam new at this.”

Thorn smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I know,” he replied. “And as much as I want to say yes, I don't want you to feel like you gotta do anything for me. I'm just happy to—”

Her eyes widened. “I don't feel like I have to.”

“No?”

“No, I just…” She licked her lips, and he bit back a moan. Just imagining those lips around him, that tongue caressing him, licking him, drawing him in deeper, deeper.Oh God . “I want to.”

Every muscle in his body tightened. His cock had hardened to the point he thought he'd bust his zipper. Her flesh against his…her skin…her scent…around him, sucking…“You want…Savannah… Oh God.”

“What?”

Rational thought fled the room. His hands closed around her face, and his lips crashed hard against hers. A long moan raced through her body, igniting his every nerve. She responded so wildly to his touches. Her kisses tasted hungered and desperate, mouth stealing aching, hot drags off his lips as her hands reached and grabbed. She explored him with boundless curiosity, fingers trailing up his arms and over his shoulders, down his chest and across his thighs. Her thumb brushed against his denim-clad cock once, and when he gasped into her mouth, she did it again with gusto. No part of her lacked fire or passion; she touched and discovered, leaving his skin feverish in her wake, and for one perfect moment, she belonged to him. Touching him, her beautiful, bare body his for the taking. She belonged to him. He could pretend.

He could pretend…

Savannah's mouth broke from his just long enough to gasp his name before sucking his lower lip between her teeth. Her hands fisted his tee, jerking it harshly over his head and exposing his chest to her wandering fingers. She touched everywhere, every inch of flesh she could find.

Christ, he'd never known how responsive his nipples were until she dragged her nails over them, and upon his surprised gasp, she broke away with a devilish smile and playfully licked his tip

“Fuck!”

Savannah giggled, this time wrapping her tongue around his head. “Someone's sensitive,” she teased before favoring him with a provocative lick.

“Playing with fire, love,” he replied, thrusting his hips forward. He loved the way her eyes widened; it fueled him, provided him with bravado. When she didn't back down, his courage solidified, and he took the hand resting precariously at his pelvis and pressed it against his crotch. “Touch me.”

The smile melted to the snow-white innocence he loved so much. “Oh…” she said softly, gulping. “You're, umm…hard.”

“Mhmm. And you”—he reached between them and pinched one of her nipples—“are very naked.”

The blush returned with awareness. “Oh. Right.”

Thorn grinned. “When you turn red like that, you make me wanna lick you all over,” he drawled lazily, resting his hands on his waistband. The words had the desired effect; her skin positively burned. “Though a bloke wonders…doyou like what you see?”

“Huh?”

“Me, Savannah. What do you see?”

She swallowed hard and blinked, her gaze falling over him for the first time. The firstreal time. And just as quickly as they had strengthened, Thorn felt his boosted nerves falter under her scrutiny. She'd seen him in various states of undress before; they frequented the beach during the summers, various pools at various houses for parties, and had helped each other choose the appropriate attire for school dances too many times to count. She'd seen it all…

But never with that look on her face.

“Wow,” Savannah murmured absently, the hand against his crotch tightening. He bit back a moan. “You're…ummm…toned.”

“'Bout time you noticed.”

There were those wide eyes again. Thorn couldn't help but smirk.

“I was…supposed to notice?”

He shrugged. “Polite thing to do and all.”

“Oh…right. I guess if I'm asking you every five seconds if my outfit makes me look fat, I oughta repay in kind.”

“Doubly so, because that question is so fucking ridiculous, I oughta be commended when I answer with a straight face.”

She arched a brow. “Which is never.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” he fired back. Then, softer, he inquired, “So…you like what you see?”

Savannah licked her lips, and again he bit back a moan. “You're all kinds of yummy.” When Thorn grinned, she averted her eyes and flushed. “I can't believe I said that.”

“Oi! Not true, then?”

“No! Definitely true. I just… I dunno; it just sounds weird coming from me. We're…us, Wes.

We've just—”

“We're discovering all kinds of new things,” Thorn supplied. “Don't suppose you still want to give me a blow?”

Savannah wiggled at his words, which was his intent. Well, mostly.Mostly . She'd offered, and it wasn't the sort of thing a guy turned down, especially at the hands of the girl he loved.

However, had she changed her mind within the past minute or so, he wouldn't press the issue.

He'd been a slave to his hormones too many times in the past to honor something sputtered in the heat of the moment. Forcing her to live up to her offer wouldn't do either one of them any favors.

“Take your jeans off.”

Thorn's eyes widened.On the other hand…

“Savannah, you really—”

“Don't have to do this? I know. Believe me, memo received. But I said I wanted to, and I do.”

She grinned that devil's grin, and his heart melted. “I…I might not be very good, though. Will you help?”

A nervous laugh bubbled off his lips. “Wouldn't worry about that, love,” he replied, popping his jean button open before dragging down the zipper. “Coupla things, though.”

She nodded, not tearing her eyes away from the tented denim. His flesh strained for freedom, but he didn't draw himself out just yet. Once his cock was free, there was no going back. If by her hand or his, he was going to come. The slightest touch would be his undoing.

If she didn't first make him bust a nut.

“'m not circumcised.”

Savannah nodded again. “Okay. I don't think that…matters, really, as I haven't touched one at all before.”

“Well, whatever you have seen in films or the like—”

“Films?” She met his eyes. “What kinds of films do you think I watch?”

Thorn snickered. “You and Allison rented at leas' one, if memory serves. Last little girls'

slumber party, remember?”

“I'm too old for slumber parties.”

“That's whatI said, but you went anyway. And got quite an anatomy lesson.”

“That's gross.” She didn't, however, deny it. Denial got her nowhere; she'd spilled the beans almost immediately after the porn viewing, embarrassed but definitely interested in what she'd seen. It had been a painful conversation at the time; strangely enough, remembering it didn't have the same effect.

Maybe because he sat on the brink of a blowjob.

A quiet minute ticked by before she spoke again. “So…yours doesn't look like that.”