First Night: (2 page)

I wasn’t like them and they weren’t like me.

So why has Gabriel been after me for a month? Is he bored and needing a new conquest?

I wasn’t a part of Gabriel’s social circle and I never would be. My mom was a maid and Gabriel’s glittering, fast set were the families that hired her. A fact they never,
ever
let me forget.

Do I look stupid enough to fall for him? What is it that he really wants and why won’t he stop?

Anger burned bright. Pulling away, I turned around and faced him fully. I steeled myself against staring too deeply into Gabriel’s exquisite crystalline gaze or noting how handsome he looked with his golden hair tumbling over his smooth brow.

“No, you can’t have this dance.”

Gabriel didn’t have to come closer to hear me. My terse expression confirmed my answer. Undaunted he asked, “How about the next one?”

I shook my head.

Frustration tugged at the corner of his kissable mouth. Gabriel ran an unsteady hand through his hair. “Why not?”

“Because I said no.”

He took one step towards me. “Why, Emma?”

I didn’t have to answer him. In fact, it was better if I didn’t. So why were the words rolling off my tongue?

“Because it’s not worth the trouble.”

Pain flashed across his expressive face. I instantly felt guilty before I buried my feelings. Gabriel didn’t
really
like me, not like he said he did. Why would he?

Everyone knew what he was after. All he wanted was to add another notch on his belt. Apparently, he’d run through all the available debutantes and at least one barely-bachelor-degree-holding teacher. Gabriel was obviously going slumming like a few of his friends had done off and on throughout the years.

I wasn’t going to be just another conquest, mocked and ridiculed for believing pretty words like “You’re different from anyone I’ve ever known,” or “I don’t care about the money. I just care about
you
.”

Screw that.

Even so, I wanted to believe this strange, one-sided courtship really was different. That
he
was different. Why did Gabriel have such a strong hold on me? Would I ever be able to break it?

Gabriel looked past me and apparently locked stares with Amy. He narrowed his eyes and sneered. The utter coldness of his expression made me shiver. I never wanted Gabriel to look at me like that, as if I were a bug crawling across his polished shoe.

I feared it. I constantly pushed him away so I’d never see it.

“What are you looking at, Amy? Mind your business!”

Although the music still throbbed loudly, I didn’t doubt the recipient received her message. Especially when she rudely bumped against me as she pulled her date towards another part of the dance floor.

He took a step towards Amy and then shook his head, as if to dismiss her. Gabriel settled his focus back on me. His fierce expression instantly softened as he took in mine. Gabriel reached out and touched my flushed cheek with the back of his fingers.

He came close and spoke urgently in my ear. “People like Amy don’t matter, Emma.”

The familiar scent of his spicy cologne pleased my senses, drawing forth how used I’d become to Gabriel being by my side nearly everyday for the last month. How much I’d come to depend on his presence.

On his scent.

My fingers twitched as I wanted to pull him closer to me just so I could bury my nose by his neck. I hated his effect on me.

“Easy for you to say.”

“You’re right, but it’s still true. You’re…” Gabriel’s voice trailed off.

Standing still in the middle of the crowded floor, feeling the stares crawl over us like insects, I felt a burst of bitterness. “What? I’m what, Gabriel? Different? Special? Don’t make me laugh.”

He pulled far away enough for me to see his frown. I lifted my chin and dared him to try to convince me otherwise.

“Stop doing that.”

“Stop doing what?”

“Stop trying to push me away. You don’t want that.”

I blanched. Vulnerability made me a witch. “You don’t know
anything
about me, Gabriel, so don’t pretend that you do.” I turned away, ignoring his yell and the assessing gazes following my rapid departure.

I rushed into the near-empty bathroom and threw myself into a stall. My heartbeat was up and my breath was coming out too quickly. I felt like kicking the door with my heel, so great was my anger and frustration.

I didn’t like showing much emotion, learning very early on in school that it would always be used against me. But having Gabriel verbalize my secret truth that I
did
want him with me, that I didn’t
want
to push him away…it was too much.

I had flipped out on him and I wished I could take it back.

The sounds of girlish chatter, water, and swishing fabric faded the longer I stood there. Gabriel Gordon tempted me to forget where he came from and who I was. I knew his reputation and knew that tangling my life with his was courting disaster.

So why did I want to go back to the main hall and apologize? Why did I wish I was there with Gabriel instead of hiding in the bathroom?

Crazy. That’s what I am. I always want what I shouldn’t have. It’s my greatest flaw until it’s not.

Taking a deep breath, I exited the stall and approached the line of sinks. Perfunctorily, I washed my hands and checked my face. My cheeks were much too red and my eyes were far too bright.

The night is done. I need to say my goodbyes and go home.

Although I wasn’t due home for a bit, I saw no more reason to stay. Making my way to one of the tables dotting the room, I said my goodbyes to Jessa, Bryan, and the few other people seated about.

Jessa protested, trying to convince me to stay longer. I smiled at the sweet blond and said, “You know I’m only here to have the experience. I’ve had it and now I’m ready to go home.”

“Are you going to call your mom to pick you up?” Bryan asked.

I’d come to prom with the group, sharing the limo along with ten other people. I wished I hadn’t done that so I could simply drive home. “Yeah, I’ll give her a call.”

Jessa tried one more time. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay with us, Emma? We’re planning on going over to Avery’s afterwards. You should come with us.”

“I’m too tired,” I lied convincingly. “Thanks anyways. I’ll see you guys Monday.”

With a last wave, I left my friends behind and walked out. I wasn’t going to call my mom. She and a few of her co-workers were having a “Second Prom” party at a club one town over. My mom already had to miss her first prom because of being pregnant with me. I wasn’t going to be responsible for interrupting her second.

What I was going to do was walk down to CVS and then call a cab. Then I’d take a bubble bath, curl up with a book and some hot chocolate, and maybe watch some TV before bed.

I’d only made it partway down the steps when I heard Gabriel call my name.

THREE

“Emma! Where are you going?”

I didn’t want to acknowledge the thrill that shot through me at the sound of his deep voice. Instead, I turned back around and kept walking. I’d just made it off the last step when the sharp scrape of running footsteps overtook me.

The urge to flee pulsed through my veins. It was primal and almost impossible to resist. I looked over my shoulder. The skin was drawn tight over Gabriel’s cheekbones, giving him the look of determined predator.

My stomach clenched. Longing for this beautiful creature rocked me. With quickened breath, I forced my legs to move faster, to move away from the young man who would make me feel the impossible.

He makes me want to forget about everything that matters to me and just be with him.

I had to run. Gabriel Gordon was too dangerous.

Gabriel’s hand closed around my arm and he pulled us both to the empty side of the building. I noticed his chest heaved in time with mine. His eyes were brighter than usual, layered with a sheen that didn’t seem natural.

I leaned in and took a whiff of his breath. I smelled alcohol.

“Are you fucking drunk?”

“Maybe.” Now that we were standing still, he swayed in time to a beat only he could hear.

Gabriel had been sober the last time I saw him. “How’d you get a hold of alcohol?”

His lips curled into a kissable pout. “I’m sorry, m’dear. I didn’t think you’d want any. I really would’ve shared if I suspected my pure untouchable Emma wanted a bit of the drink.” Gabriel opened his jacket and halfway removed the silver flask from the interior pocket. “It’s all gone, my dear.”

I wanted to smack him for drinking. At prom. “What would you have done if you’d gotten caught? You know they can suspend you and keep you from walking at graduation!”

“You sound as if you care. Do you?”

My mouth snapped shut. I did care but it wasn’t my place. Gabriel and I didn’t even really qualify as friends, much less anything more. Discomfited by the reminder of how my walls were eroding, I lashed out.

“What am I talking about? You don’t have to abide by the rules. Even if you did get caught, I’m sure Daddy would bail you out and smooth over any feathers, right?”

Rage flashed in Gabriel’s expressive gaze. “You don’t know half of what you think you do, Emma.”

Mount Gabriel was getting closer to erupting. My mouth lifted into a half-smirk. “I know enough.”

Gabriel shook his head. “You can be such a…”

“What? Bitch?”

His gaze burned me. “A sadist.”

I didn’t expect that. “W-What? No, I’m not.”

This time it was Gabriel’s mouth that curled into a half-smirk. “Trust me. I know.” Before I could question him further, Gabriel closed the gap between us by one step. “Why wouldn’t you dance with me, Emma?”

I crossed my arms, feeling more vulnerable than I liked. “Because I didn’t want to.”

“Why?”

“I already answered your question.”

“Why?”

“Gabriel—”

“Why?”

His relentlessness trapped me. “Because I’m not like those other girls, Gabriel!”

“I know you’re not.”

“No!” My hand cut through the air impatiently. “We both know I’m not like your spoiled princess debutantes you’re always dating. I’m talking about the others.”

“What others?”

“The ones who are poor like me and end up getting their hearts broken by rich boys like you. I
won’t
be like them.”

Gabriel dropped his head. “You always think the worst of me, Emma, and I really wished you wouldn’t but I understand why. Still I try…”

He looked up. I opened my mouth but no words came out. Longing, frustration, misery, and anger roiled about him. I was humbled.

Drawn. Enchanted.

It hurt to look at a mourning angel. Overwhelmed and feeling like I’d seen what wasn’t mine to observe, I looked down at my shoes. Gabriel instantly lifted my chin so I’d have no choice but to see him. His long fingers imprinted into my skin. I trembled in his hold. Gabriel’s touch frightened me because it felt so right.

“Why won’t you look at me, Emma? Don’t you know the only one I’ve ever
really
wanted the past four years is you? What can I do to get you to like me back? I’ll do anything you want…be anything you want…just say you’ll be mine, Emma.”

My legs went weak. I could barely force the muscles to contract and keep me upright. I never imagined anyone, much less Gabriel, saying that to me. I closed my eyes, body relaxing as if it had already acknowledged him as its true owner.

What about school, everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve? Are you going to lose focus and throw it away right when it’s in your grasp?

No.

I couldn’t let Gabriel see how much his words affected me. Lifting my chin, I waited until his fingers retreated. Even without being able to see myself, I knew the picture I presented.

Cold. Composed. Unfeeling.

A lie.

“You don’t really like me. If you did, you wouldn’t have fucked nearly every girl in this school sideways. I saw you with Brandy, remember? I can’t un-see that, Gabriel.” Jealousy coiled in my heart like a bed of venomous snakes. “You know what you are? You’re a fucking liar who’s so full of shit and I wished you’d just leave me alone.”

Gabriel suddenly rushed me. He pressed my body against the brick wall and caged me within his expensively attired arms. No tuxedo rental for him. I could feel his whole body, including the hard bulge of him pressing against my side.

I swallowed back the rest of my venom as I focused on something else far more important. The rumors concerning Gabriel’s sizeable girth weren’t exaggerating. I had the insane urge to push back, to even touch him.