First Light (40 page)

At the mention of weapons, Denver produced a knife from inside his jacket. By his side, it glinted and winked, catching the light of the moon. I held back a whimper.

He pressed his body close to the wall and edged forward.

‘...I want to help you. You're better than this.’

‘I don’t need
your
help.’

‘Five have already been terminated. Including J, F and B,’
said Andrews.

A bleak silence followed. I wondered what was going through Kalen’s mind. Next to me, Ace closed his eyes, silently mouthing words I couldn’t make out.

‘Jesse wouldn’t even have been sixteen,’
Kalen’s voice was raspy and full of pain.

‘I’m aware of his age. I did not sanction what’s happening K, you of all people know that.’

‘But you haven’t tried to stop it either, have you?’

The man laughed darkly.
‘... You have me do? If I take this any higher all it’ll serve to do is get me killed.’

‘God forbid.’

‘You don’t mean that. I’ve done all I can for you now. I’ve tried beyond what is safe and reasonable for myself to help you. Now you’re on your own. I will say this, however…’

I strained to hear.

‘…
Never be allowed to live a normal life, K. If you come with me now we can find something for you. Your talent is too good to waste.’

‘Get out.’

‘Put the knife down, I’m leaving. But think about what I’m about to say to you. I found you. How long do you think it will be before they do? Barker won’t let this go. He’s taken your escape very personally. He won’t stop until you’re all dead.’

We listened to him walk out and I sat frozen to my place on the back porch, thankful the man had chosen to leave through the front. Once I was sure the unwanted guest had gone, I ran forward so I could see through the gap in the door. Kal was trying to steady his breathing, clenching and unclenching the fist not holding a kitchen knife. The boys stepped inside. I followed them in.

‘Kal?’ I said.

He cast the knife of the countertop, where it clattered and fell in the sink. ‘You heard everything,’ he said.

I moved closer to him, reaching out my hand, but Nash stepped between us before we could touch.

‘K, we have to split. Andrews was right, if he found us the others won’t be far behind. The civilians want us out – they think you killed those men and it’s only a matter of time before the police come around asking questions. It’s attention we don’t need!’

I’d never heard Nash rattled before. It made me very aware of the danger they were all in.

‘Yeah, I know, N. We’ll leave at first light.’

‘Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave it so late?’ he pressed. ‘K, I have a very bad feeling about this. I think we should go now.’ He looked at me fleetingly and I knew it was me he had a bad feeling about.

Kalen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Fine, you're right. Let me talk with Ronnie. Find Laith, let's empty the place out. We need to get rid of the cars too. Ace, you know what to do with the Ford. D, get rid of the bike. We leave in an hour in the Audi.'

Without further word, the boys left the room.

‘Please, don’t go,’ I begged.

‘I thought you wanted me to?’ His arms remained heavy by his sides.

‘You know I didn’t mean that.’

‘Really? And what did you mean? I’m nothing more than a killer, right?’

‘Kal, please–’

Laith walked in at that moment, dusting sand off of his solid torso and drying his white blond hair with a towel. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked as he looked at us both. ‘You guys still together then?’ he added with a sneer.

‘We’re leaving,’ Kalen announced.

Laith’s eyebrows jumped into perfect half moons. ‘We who?’

‘We, the unit.’

‘Really?’ His eyes sparkled and I knew it was the best news he’d received in some time.

‘We had a visit. Andrews. Jesse’s dead. So are B, Fix and apparently two others.’

Laith nodded solemnly and mouthed the same thing Ace had. It looked like, God Have Mercy. I’d never considered if they were religious, it seemed impossible because of some of the things they’d done, but I reminded myself that they hadn’t chosen their lives, it had been forced upon them. Perhaps they needed God more than anyone.

‘We’ll head for Sweden as planned and then I might leave you all for a while.’ Kal’s eyes flashed in my direction and a darkness swept across Laith’s features, as visible as if he were a cartoon. His brow knitted together and his blue eyes turned to stone.

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s not safe for us to be in a group any more.’

‘A lot of things aren’t safe, K, yet you've had us doing them for months now.’

‘I know. I’m sorry – that’s why I’m putting a stop to it.’

‘So you can come back for her?’ he almost yelled.

‘I don’t know yet, but it's my decision.’

‘You’re putting her in front of your team again. This is ridiculous! I’ve tried everything, but nothing makes you see sense!’

‘What do you mean by that, L?’ Kal asked, suspicion lacing his tone as he stepped towards his friend.

‘Nothing,’ Laith muttered, his teeth clenched.

‘Don’t lie to me. It was you wasn’t it – you killed those men?’

Laith’s breathing had become tight and shallow, his shoulders lifting with each frustrated breath. ‘I was just doing what you should have! Being with this girl has made you weak! How could you have let them do what they did to you?’

Kalen laughed, but it was anything but a happy sound. ‘L, let’s not pretend you were avenging me. We both know you did it to try and split Ronnie and I apart, to ruin what I have here. I’m so sick of your games. If you can’t fall in line, you can go it alone. We’re not supposed to be killing, we agreed–’

‘We agreed to a lot of things!’ Laith snapped, looking more frantic and enraged than I’d ever seen him. ‘I can’t let you do this to us. I can’t let you change everything because of a chick. I won’t!’ he seethed. Then, without waiting for a response he fled back out the way he’d come.

Canter Creek, Iowa – October 2005

‘So, what you’re telling me, is that we were never going to live past fifteen?’

‘I didn’t know that was the plan, I wasn’t read-in to that level until recently.’

‘But why are we of no use after fifteen? We're good. R is one of the best snipers–’

‘Once you’re no longer children, you’re not fit for the project.’

‘What about other jobs? Other units? Surely they aren’t really going to terminate us all? N turns sixteen next week.’

Tom Andrews stared back at Kalen, his expression resigned. ‘You can’t be reassigned. Taking you on so young, it’s made you all unstable, unpredictable. You don’t fit the profile for any agency.’

So in other words: they couldn’t be
controlled
. The government’s mistake meant destroying the lives of nineteen boys who’d had no choice in their destiny.

‘Why are you telling me this?’ Kalen whispered at length.

‘I’m telling you because I care about you, K, I care what happens to you.’

‘But you don’t care what happens to any of the others, right? Jesse? Ace? Your loyal unit?’ Kalen knew his sarcasm was pointless, but the news was hard to digest, and while he wasn’t afraid of dying, he felt sick to his stomach that it would be at the hands of those who’d made him into what he was. They’d been told Vass and X had both died on missions, but as Kalen thought about it now, it became clear. They were the eldest, they had both recently turned sixteen.

‘I can’t save everybody, you have no idea what I’m risking just by telling you, but I’ve known you the longest, I hand picked you myself – I feel I owe you something.’

‘You owe me a lot more than this.’

‘I am truly sorry for what’s happened, for this whole projec–’

‘Don’t,’ Kal interjected. ‘Don’t give me your lame apologies. I know no different, so who cares, right?’

Tom Andrews bowed his head. It might almost have been in shame but Kalen knew men like his handler knew no shame.

‘It can only be you,’ he said quietly. ‘Do you understand? If you tell any of the others, I can’t help you, and I’ll have to cut you off completely. If you leave now – just you, I’ll tell them I sent you on one last mission, I will fake your death, give you money. You can get a place to live, spend your life on a beach somewhere.’

‘Oh, wonderful,’ Kal snarled, his patience running thin. Finally after a prolonged silence, Kal stood up to dismiss the meeting. ‘What do you want me to say?’

‘Say you’ll do as I ask, I need to save you, K.’

‘Why?’

‘Because–’

‘Is it to save your soul?’

For a brief moment, the man actually looked scared and Kalen knew he’d touched a sore nerve.

‘Kalen? That’s what you call yourself, isn’t it? Funny, how you act so stoic, yet you wanted to be named. To have something to define you. Well,
Kalen
, I’m offering you a chance at life – at freedom. Do you want it or not?’

‘You know what I think’s funny?’ Kalen mused. ‘I think it’s funny how you pretend to be offended, when I question the notion of your soul. You’ve killed so many, but you’re afraid to die.’

‘Yes or no?’ the man growled. ‘Last chance, kid. Last chance to save your life. What’s your decision?’

44 – Betrayal

‘We've covered our tracks here at the house.
Just the vehicles left. When can we discuss the plan?’ Nash asked as we walked into the dusty living room where they all sat cross-legged on packing crates.

‘We can discuss it now,’ Kalen replied.

Each boy in turn looked up at Kalen and then at me. In response he merely stared back at them. I glanced sheepishly at my feet.

‘Is there a problem?’ asked Kalen.

At first I didn’t think they would answer, but Nash looked at Kal and, with an apologetic tone, said, ‘It’s just that, maybe Laith doesn’t go about it in the right way, but he does have a point. We’re endangering Ronnie by involving her.’

‘Ronnie has a right to know the precarious situation I’ve put her in. We can trust her. Do any of you have an issue with that?’

After a moment’s pause, each of them shook their heads.

‘So here’s the deal,’ Kal continued, ‘as we always agreed, we know which country’s next.’

‘What then?’ asked Nash.

‘I don’t know yet. I may come back here for a while, when things calm down. Alone.’

‘We’re splitting up?’ asked Denver.

‘Let’s just get there, okay? Then we’ll decide what’s best, for all of us.’

I gulped, watching all their expressions, knowing they regarded me as the reason Kal wanted to go it alone. One by one they all agreed and Kalen and I joined them on the crates. They started to discuss the plan in more detail.

'A, let's sort the car and the bike,' said Denver. At that moment, however, Laith came into the room.

I cringed inwardly, expecting another argument. But something was different: he didn’t look as smug or arrogant as usual, if anything he was sheepish. I wasn’t the only one who sensed it, because in just a few seconds the boys fell silent and stared at him with concern. I looked between each of them, suddenly apprehensive.

‘Laith?’ Kal asked, slowly standing up. ‘What have you done?’