First Kiss (16 page)

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Authors: Tara Brown

BOOK: First Kiss
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He smiles and I would know that smile anywhere—he is
guilty.

Bastion is taking it all in. I can see the look on his face.
He smiles softly at Sam, “My brother is lucky to have a friend like you.”

Sam scoffs, “Nonsense, I am the lucky one.”

I can hardly believe the act he is pulling off. The men at the
table all smile and give him an approving
look
.

A man at the end of the table, with a beard and a head full of
grey hair, starts to laugh and regale us with a story about his son’s first
hunting trip. The men laugh and my father watches me.

I can’t be Baylor. I won’t ever be her. He knows I am an
imposter. I can sense it. I give Bastion a look. He nods, so subtly I can
barely see it.

My father watches us both, scrutinizing everything we do. I
excuse myself, liking how every man stands as I leave the table.

I hurry down the hallway to the powder room. Instead of going
there, I dip into the kitchen. With Heidi gone, Cook is my only ally here. She
is covered in sweat and red faced, but she smiles when she sees me. I hear her
shout to the help as she leaves the kitchen, following me down the hallway. I
duck into the parlor.

When she comes in the door, I whisper, “My father is in on
it.”

Her eyes widen, “I know. He has a mistress. I do not know who
she is, but we have seen her leaving in the early-morning hours. He has been at
it since shortly after your mother and you left. She leaves in the morning,
wearing a pale cloak that is much too long for her. Watching her hurry across
the grounds with the cloak trailing behind her through the mist is positively
frightening.”

I scowl, “You think he made my sister get rid of me and my
mother?”

She shakes her head, “I think your mother and the heir prince
were the targets; you, your infant sister, and the help, were casualties of
that.”

I sigh, “We are going to the castle tonight to tell the king
and queen that Bastion is alive.”

She nods, “Get as far away from here as you can.”

“When I’m leaving, distract my dad, please.” I hug her and
slip back down the hallway before I am missed. I catch my breath and saunter
into the dining room. I walk to the dessert on the table and get a dish of the
pudding I know she made for me. It is my favorite. As dessert and drinks are
served, Bastion corners
me,
“We have to get out of
here while we still can.”

I nod, “We have to go see your parents. I’ll stay with you in
case a change triggers. I can kiss it away.”

He takes my hand in his, “I don’t want you to come. My family
is going to be so angry with yours if Baylor outs you as her sister.”

I glance at my father’s friends talking with him, “I’m not
safe here. He knows I’m not Baylor. At your castle, we will name me as a
Norlander. No matter what Baylor says
,
your word is
final. She will look desperate and conniving.”

Sam walks
up to us and pats Bastion on the
back,
“Can we get the hell out of here before we get murdered or
poisoned?”

I laugh, “See? He sees it too.”

Bastion bites his lip, “Okay. With Baylor there, they will
know you are not
her
, and I will name you as Sam’s
sister. It is impossible for you to be Lynnie; you should be eleven
right
now. So you can just be a random act of doppelgangers.”

I look back at Sam. He shakes his head, “Bad idea. Not my
sister. No.”

Bastion slaps him on the arm, “Good idea. Let’s go. It’s a
twenty-minute coach ride to my castle, and I have a horrid feeling we will be
followed.”

I smile sweetly, as if we are discussing something frivolous,
“I’ll get the horses ready and we’ll ride across the field to the castle with
the carriage as a decoy.”

“You are very devious for such a sweet girl.” Bastion walks to
my father, forcing his eye away from the hallway. Sam and I slip down the hall.
I look back, “You shouldn’t be coming with me. It’s indecent.”

He nods, “I know. It’s going to be worse when we are brother
and sister.
A little too much.
Can we say cousins? Do
cousins kiss and marry here?”

I wrinkle my nose, “Yeah, I guess they do. Gross. I can be
your cousin, but you still have to try not to kiss me.” I smile back at him.

He laughs, “Now that the curse is broken, are you going to
kiss everyone you see?”

I laugh too, “No. Ewww. I’m still me.” The words are not
confident like I would prefer them to be. I open the side door and run across
the yard to the stable. The horses we rode are fed and watered. I look at Sam,
“We riding together again?”

He nods.

I glance at the stableman, “Two horses, ready immediately.
Also a coach out front.”

He nods, “Yes, miss.”

I turn and hurry back to the side door. When I am down the
hallway, I see my father coming. He is speaking to one of the friends. I grab
Sam and do exactly what my sister would have done. I drag him into a dark
corner and pull his face down to mine.

He doesn’t do a thing, or question what I am doing. He wraps
his arms around my waist and kisses softly along my cheek. “I want you, Lynnie.
I want to kiss you.”

I nod into the kiss, “I want you too, but I can’t do this.”

He kisses the other side of my face. I feel his tongue brush
along the corner of my lips. My father’s voice gets louder. I moan slightly,
letting them know someone is doing something they should not be. My father
chuckles and soon his voice
gets
quieter again as he
walks off.

Sam brushes his thumb along my cheek, pulling the hair back.
He drags it across my bottom lip, “I am going to come and find you tonight. In
that castle.”

I smile, feeling my heaving chest pressing against his
abdomen, “You are going to be a gentleman in the castle.”

“No, I won’t and then you will be mine, finally.”

He takes my hand and pulls me from the corner. When we enter
the dining room, I drop his hand and straighten my dress. Bastion rolls his
eyes. My father smirks at me, and I almost wonder if he does believe I am
Baylor now.

I nod at him as he approaches, “We have been invited back to
the castle tonight.”

My father frowns, “I would like to accompany you.”

I smile, “You have your friends here, and I really think I
would like a moment to see what is happening there. See what my situation is.”

He nods, “Who are you?” I guess he never bought the Baylor
act. Not surprising. I can’t be like her.

I smile at him, “I’m your daughter.” I look him in the eyes as
intensely as I can.

His eyes narrow, “My daughter?”

The smile on my face could sweeten tea. I bat my lashes, “Yes.
Your daughter.
Your
longgggggg,
lost, daughter
.”

He swallows hard and I spin away from him, crossing the room
to the men, “Have a lovely night, gentlemen. We have to get back to the
castle.” I wave at my father, “Goodnight, Daddy.”

He nods his head. Sam and Bastion shake his hand. They laugh
with my dad about the hunting trip they will be planning as we stroll down the
hallway.

Dad pats me on the back, and is about to say something, when
one of the scullery maids comes out. She gives us a nervous look, “Sir, the
kitchen is having an issue. Thomas sent me for you.”

My father sighs, “I miss your mother more and more every day.
Running this house just isn’t the same without her.” He slaps Bastion on the
back, “Goodnight, take care of my girl.” His eyes threaten me, but I walk out
the front door and climb into the carriage with the help of the footman. Having
a member of the royal family with me is my only saving grace.

When they close the door to the carriage, we wait a second for
the front door to close. I jump out the far side of the carriage, away from the
eyes of the front door. The footman gives us a look. Bastion nods, “Bring the
carriage to the castle. Stop for no one. Not my father and not my brother, and
definitely not her father.”

He nods. We run to the stable as the carriage takes off. We
mount quickly, like smugglers in the dark, and ride off into the woods. The
path from the estate to the castle is short. The ride is straight across the
field and then up the hill to the back of the grounds.

Sam grips to me fiercely, and I continue to motivate the
horse. Bastion rides hard, slapping his horse on the behind and shouting at it.
When we are halfway across the dark field, I feel something. I look to the
right and there in the misty darkness is a cloaked woman. She has a pale cloak
on with the hood up. It hides her face. She watches me ride by—I know
it’s her. I know it’s the woman who is sneaking to my father’s bed.

I look ahead, hating him. How can he do it? How did he send
her away pregnant, and then leave us there to suffer? My mother hanged herself.
She died, tying a knot and wrapping it around her throat. She died alone in
that shack of a destroyed mansion, gasping for air and struggling against the
coarse rope around her throat. She died, leaving behind a baby and a small
child. She died knowing Rosie and me would be with Mary, a woman who hated us.

To me, my father killed her, and all I seem to want for is the
chance to pay him back.

 
 

Chapter Thirteen

 

The light of the castle against the mountains is amazing, but
the light of it when you get to the courtyard is ridiculous. Turrets and
columns and balconies and smooth
stone walls
. It is
beautiful. The white stone is beautiful and when it’s lit, it looks like it
glows, like the moon.

Sam’s jaw hasn’t closed since we dismounted. He stares. I
close it for him, “You have seen dozens of castles, My Lord Duke. I hear yours
is stunning.”

He looks down on me, “Right, but damn. This is crazy.”

I laugh and pull him to Bastion. He grabs my hand and pulls us
through the back doors. He knows the way.

We run through long hallways and pass by a room with people
gathered in it. Bastion takes my hand in his, pulling me. Sam pulls too, but I let
Bastion win. He needs me.

He pulls me into a grand room that I don’t recognize. I barely
recall the castle. I didn’t come here often.

The moment we round the corner, I am in awe. His parents are
talking to a small cluster of people. I see his mother, the queen, first. Her
eyes are like his, grey and beautiful. They find us in the crowd, making her
jaw drop and her goblet of red wine tumble to the floor. The look of pain and
anguish on her face is startling. I always imagined her more detached and refined
than that. But I see her mouth form his name. His father’s eyes dart from the
goblet to the man dragging me into the center of the room. His hands grip to me
desperately. I know he’s scared he’ll change in front of them, and I am the
cure to that.

The king cries out, “My son! My beautiful son!” he rushes to
us. They hug him, and kiss him, and smother him in love, but he doesn’t let go
of my hand. The grip stings but I let it. If anyone knows what it’s like to
grip to something for your survival, it’s me.

From the corridor at the back, I see a head of shiny red hair.
She hurries to where we all are. Watching her, I can see she is out of breath
and stunned. She is so beautiful, she stands out in the crowd that is gathering
around us and swallowing us up. When she looks me in the eyes, I see the
frightened blue-green eyes of my sister. When she sees me, her face pinches.
She swallows like there is a lump there. She doesn’t look for her husband to
be. She looks around like maybe she is looking for an exit. I see her thinking
it. I can almost hear the thought of running.

Braden is there instantly, hugging his brother. He weeps and I
believe him innocent in the plot against us.

It was my family all along. My kin is guilty of high treason.
I look down at the hand holding mine and back up to the eyes of my sister.

I almost pull free of Bastion, but Sam is there suddenly.
Baylor’s jaw drops when she sees his clothes. We still haven’t changed him.

Bastion introduces Sam and I as cousins who saved him from his
scars and an attack near Norland. Baylor looks stunned. She gives me a look.

In the back of my mind, I’m plotting alongside her. We have to
get away. The entire family will fry when he tells them what has happened.

As if he can feel my fear, Bastion squeezes my hand, pulling
me to his mother. She shrieks, “You look so much like my dear daughter-in-law
to be, Baylor.” She turns, pointing at my sister. “Baylor, my love. Look how
much you and she look alike.”

Baylor smiles at me, “The resemblance is uncanny.”

I nod, “I have heard I bear a striking resemblance to your
younger sister, Erralynn.”

She nods, “Uncanny.”

I smile, “But my name is Lynette.”

She curtsies, “Lynette, what a beautiful name.”

Bastion looks down on me with a loving smile, “For a beautiful
girl.”

I blush. Most if it is fear.

The queen cups my chin, “How can I ever thank you? You saved
my boy.”

I look back at Sam, “It was mostly my cousin’s doing. I was
just there.”

Bastion chuckles, hugging his still-weeping brother, “She is
my everything, Mother.”

His mother and father both look at me. I shake my head, “It
was nothing. I swear.”

His father grins, “Humble, that is a trait everyone loves in a
queen.”

My jaw drops, “Oh, well. I can’t possibly . . . uhm. Thank
you. You have a lovely home.”

The queen laughs and looks at Bastion, “She is perfect.”

I look back at Sam.
His eyes narrow.
The queen gives him a look, “Surely your kinsmen seek to wed into our family?
Combine our kingdoms? I know the king has mentioned it to us many a time.
Unfortunately, our hopes have been tied up for some time with another union.
But now I dare say we are likely to be free of it and the awkwardness of the
disappearance of the poor young girl.”

My stomach is aching when I realize she is talking about my
death. The queen must not have known Bastion was in love with me. She seems
eager to be rid of me or at least grateful.

Bastion nods, “My thoughts exactly, Mother.
Very
excellent timing.
Samuel here is all about it. He is devoted to his
people, like we are. His sister here is a favorite of our cousin.”

The queen frowns, “And King Erik is fine with her coming
here?” Her eyes dart to me. I wonder if she is freaking out as badly as I am
that
me and Baylor
are nearly identical?

Sam smiles, but it is Bastion who speaks. “King Erik wouldn’t
deprive me anything I want.”

My sister’s eyes avoid Bastion’s and mine. Braden drags her
over, “Brother, I dare say we have similar tastes.”

Bastion smiles but there is
something
beneath it that is not meant to be kind. “I don’t see the resemblance at all.”

His mother laughs, “Then you are blind, my beautiful boy. I
cannot believe how mended your face is.” Her eyes are filled with tears and she
cannot stop hugging Sam. They don’t even notice his clothing, all but Baylor.
She cannot stop staring at Sam and then me.

The king walks to me and looks down on me like he is searching
my eyes for something. He slaps Bastion on his back, “She and her cousin must
stay with us.”

The twinkle in the king’s eye is obvious. I feel my eyes lower
against my instinct. I am Lynnie Lake still; I cannot fight her inability to
meet other’s eyes and stand up tall. It’s no doubt how my father realized I
wasn’t Baylor. We are identical—it’s actually creeping me out. Of course,
I am clearly the kinder of the two.
Bitch
.

Bastion grabs me, kissing the side of my head and then
laughing, “She isn’t leaving. She is my betrothed. We fell in love while I was
in their care.” He grips me, while looking down on me with pride. I smile back,
fighting the urge to throw up and feeling Sam’s eyes burning down on me too.
Baylor coughs but Braden launches himself at us, wrapping himself around us
both and cheering congratulations.

I can feel my dinner rising in my throat, as I wonder why
would he say that?

Why would he lie?

His father and mother make excited noises as they maul us
both. I force my eyes to remain open, to stop the tears threatening me. My
breath starts to increase as my heart makes attempts at being thrown up with my
dinner. I swear
,
I can feel it beating in my
esophagus.

I step back, smiling like I was taught to as a girl. Bastion
looks over at me, his grey eyes searching my face. “Are you all right, my
love?”

I shake my head, “I feel lightheaded. I have to go freshen
myself.”

The queen grabs my hands, “Of course, you must be exhausted
from the ride. I get exhausted looking at horses, let alone riding them.” She
looks at Baylor, “As you two will be sisters soon, why don’t you acquaint
yourselves with one another and show her the way to the powder room or even her
quarters?”

Baylor hops at the chance but I step back again. Bastion grabs
my hand, “I will show her the way, Mother.” He kisses my hand and turns,
pulling me down the corridor. I can hear Sam following us. His footsteps are
loud and annoyed—almost a stomp.

On the grand staircase, Bastion nods at the guards who line
them, as they all bow and mutter, “Your Grace.”

I recall that he is ’Your Grace’ and not ’My Lord.’ He will be
king and that is the difference between grace and lord.

My ten years of royalty brainwashing doesn’t feel like enough.
I look back at Sam, wincing at the lack of sparkle in his eyes. He looks
pissed.

Not that I blame him, I am too.

When we get into the corridor that leads to the bedrooms, Sam
grabs Bastion’s hand, “Hey, dude. What was that?”

“Yeah?” I fold my arms across my chest.

Bastion looks down on Sam’s hand and then speaks through
clenched teeth, “That was me saving her. They will not question who she is if I
say she is my bride-to-be. If they find out she is Lynnie, commoners will
demand we burn her for witchcraft. My family has always loved your family’s
magical ways. But it has benefitted them. Scarring the hell out of me and
kidnapping me is not going to endear them to my family anymore. Witches will be
outlawed. I know how this is going to end. All of them will be burned. It will
be the dark ages all over again.”

Sam looks at me and unhands Bastion. He shakes his head,
“Let’s go back, Lynnie.
We shouldn’t stay here
,
you’re in danger
. At home I can take care of you, and you
can be as witchy you want. No one will believe it anyway.”

I nod and look at Bastion, “He’s right. I have to go back. I
can’t do this. I don’t know why I thought I could.”

Bastion’s grip tightens, “Just the night—stay the
night.”

I open my mouth but Sam answers, “Okay. I’m beat anyway. We can
leave in the morning.” Bastion pulls me to a door and opens it, “Sam, you can
sleep in here.”

Sam leans against the doorframe, “Where’s her room?”

Bastion points, “That one.” It is the door at the end of the
hall.

Sam shakes his head, almost chuckling. “Which room is yours?”

Bastion laughs and points to the same door, “That one.”

I rip my hand from his, “We can’t share a room.”

“Baylor is sleeping in this castle too. I will sleep on the
floor like a gentleman.”

I back up towards Sam, “We are cousins; it makes more sense
for us to share a room.”

He leans forward, grabbing my hand just as Sam does. “Cousins
marry here, Lynnie. It would look like I were being cuckolded before we were
even married.” Bastion pulls, jerking me towards him. I let go of Sam. Bastion
sighs, “He doesn’t know the secret passages. I can keep you safe if anything
happens. Goodnight, Sam.” He pulls me down the hallway to the door. He opens
the door with force and drags me inside.

When the door is closed, I press my back against it, “Why did
you do it? Why would you tell them I would marry you?”

He frowns, “I saved you. And you will marry me—you
always were meant to.”

I had thought that for a second, but now I see he has not. He
has instead put me in an awkward position. He doesn’t love me, he told me he
cannot. I shake my head, “You never . . . you never saved me. I need to go back
to Lakeland. I can go to Boston with Sam and stay safe. I can’t marry you. You
already told me you couldn’t when I told you I loved you. I can’t be queen. I’m
a witch and not a very good one. I seem to only be able to do very minor
things, beyond fixing you.”

He steps to me, putting both his hands on the door next to my
face, trapping me against it. He looks down on me, smiling like he did when he
was Bastion in Lakeland—a cute and mysterious college boy. He dips his
face to mine, pressing his lips on my cheek. “I love you, Lynnie. I always
have. I just didn’t want you in danger. Marrying me will save you—trust
me.”

I want to believe his words. I want him to love me. I love
him. I have since the moment I met him. Whatever that awkward insta-love was,
it was real.

He kisses the other side but lingers, breathing softly on my
cheek. “I will love you all of my life, I promise.”

I am frozen; part of me knows I have to let him do whatever he
wants. He can have me hanged. The other part of me is still that girl who
believes kisses kill. Unfortunately, she isn’t the stronger personality
anymore.

I love him and I want him to be speaking the truth, regardless
of the fact I fear he just needs me now. He needs my kiss to heal his skin. He
spoke the truth when he left me in the dirt, alone and cold.

I know what I have to do, so I close my eyes and let his warm
lips land on mine. His tongue slips into my mouth and his hands slide down the
door to my back. He presses me into him. I kiss back—I don’t even know if
I can help myself. My hands are in his hair, pulling his face down on mine,
before I realize it.

He lifts me up into his arms, but the huge skirts prevent me
from wrapping my legs around him. He turns and carries me to the bed, still
caressing my tongue with his.

When we land on the bed, reality crashes back in. “Stop!” I
push him over and roll off the bed. I am breathless, straightening my dress and
trying to get control of my brain. I don’t even seem to care that he likely
doesn’t love me. I am the right choice for his people. I need to remember that.
“Just stop.”

“That is exactly what our first kiss should have been.” The
smile he gives me sets me further on fire. I have a hard time swallowing. Dear
God, he is beautiful, especially when he is trying to get me to marry him.

I look at him, “Why don’t I ever know what I think and feel
with you? It always feels like I am outside of myself.”

He steps around the bed, coming to me. “Because there are
forces greater than our hearts involved in our love. We are soul mates. We were
written in the stars—meant to be. We have been betrothed since I was a
boy.”

I scowl, “No. That isn’t possible. When I was four, I was made
the betrothed of the Duke of Red Falls. He was a boy. I was to meet him when I
was old enough to be courted.”

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