First Kiss (3 page)

Chapter 4

"Beth? Hey, Beth!"

Beth jerked in her seat and turned to the girl that had spoken to her. She stared at her black leggings right in front of her and realized she was standing. Everyone was standing. And moving. Class was over, but she'd been somewhere else.

Beth shook her head and started to look up. She should stand, she knew it, but her eyes followed the thin material stretched over Maria's legs up. Her sweater dropped over her waist and hips but from Beth's angle she could see the subtle cleft at her crotch. Shouldn't her underwear hide the cameltoe, or maybe she wasn't wearing any underwear?

"Beth, class is over. What's wrong with you?" Maria asked.

Beth jerked her attention up to Maria's face and scrambled to grab her notebook and shove it into her bag. "Sorry, spaced out. Had a rough weekend."

Maria grinned. "Hope it was worth it."

Beth flashed a quick smile back but didn't say anything. She stood up and walked down the aisle of seats in the lecture hall and melted into the crowd of students heading out. She pushed outside and gasped as the sunlight drove a wedge into her skull worthy of splitting logs. She stumbled and turned her back to the late morning sun so she could fumble through her bag for her sunglasses.

"Jesus, Beth, aren't you cold?" Maria asked as she had to step around her.

"Cold?" Beth mumbled. She found her sunglasses and cried out. "Ah ha!"

"You left your jacket in your seat," Maria said. "You really are out of it! He must have been great in bed!"

Beth laughed. "I wish," she said and then groaned. Had she really said that? She hadn't done anything like that. Well, sort of like that, but not— she shook her head. It was cold out. January in Ann Arbor was a miserable time to be in Michigan. Especially for a southern girl like her. Sunglasses in place, she hugged her arms to her chest and rushed back in to get her jacket.

Beth clenched her teeth and dropped her gaze to the ground when she walked outside the second time. Was the sun always this bright? Especially in the winter hell that Michigan was? She followed the sidewalk and kept her eyes down as much as possible. She was having a hard time adjusting. Probably because she'd tossed and turned the last few nights. Ever since Friday night.

She kept having dreams about what she'd done with Colin. Most of the time they started out normal enough. Most. The first night her dreams had Colin growing fur and turning into a wolf while she went down on him. She'd woken up gasping for breath and sweating so much she had to throw her sheets off. Sleep had been fitful at best after that.

Saturday was worse, in her dream he'd been going down on her and a pinch made her open her eyes and look. There he was, covered in fur and grinning with sharp teeth. Blood dripped from his canines. He'd bit her! She gasped and was about to scream when her car shook. She looked up as the door was ripped off and there was the waitress, Penny. She looked the same, with her sexy lingerie and boots and horns. And a car door skidding across the ground behind her. Penny opened her mouth, teeth extending into fangs before she reached for her.

Carla woke her up, shaking her. Beth had been making noise in that nightmare and it freaked her roommate out. That made for a long and restless night too. Sunday night was better only because she would jerk herself awake every time she was about to fall asleep. She was afraid of what terrors awaited. What Colin or Penny might do to her in her dreams.

Colin wasn't a werewolf though. She knew that. There was something special about them. Something she couldn't put her finger on, but she could tell. They moved different and had a confidence that wasn't normal. Even Crystal started acting that way before Beth knew she had to get away from her.

Beth's feet took her where her mind couldn't. She walked through the automatic doors of the stadium and headed for the women's locker room. Once she was out of the sun she breathed a sigh of relief. The nagging pain in her head melted away. She lifted her head and blinked the blurriness out of her eyes. Now all she needed was to get her jacket off and cool down.

She found a locker and dropped her bag on the bench so she could strip her jacket off. She sighed as the clammy air from the showers mixed with her sweat and cooled her skin. She stripped without bothering to look around, pulling her sweater and jeans off and hanging them from hooks in the locker.

She bit her lip. She needed to change into her running clothes before anybody got a good look at her, but it felt so good to let her skin air out. She hadn't noticed it at the time, but she'd been burning up. Her headache confused her, or maybe it caused the headache? Was she getting sick, or was this just because she hadn't slept worth a damn.

Beth pushed her worries aside. She needed to workout. That helped her focus her thoughts and remind her that she worried about too many things. She dug into her bag and slipped her sweatpants and t-shirt on. The sweatshirt wasn't happening, not as warm as she'd been a few moments ago. She felt fine now, but didn't want to run the risk of overheating again.

Beth shoved her bag into the locker and spun the lock on it. She laced up her shoes and grabbed her water bottle and iPhone. She wasn't thirsty but she knew she would be. Heck, she should be, after sweating so much already. She stopped by a fountain and filled the bottle and took a drink out of habit. The water was lukewarm and not very satisfying. She snorted and walked into the gym, looking for a bike or a treadmill to warm up on.

She ended up on a treadmill facing a TV with muted men and women going through a canned exercise routine. Beth put her headphones in and started up her music before starting out an easy jog. Her eyes fell on the TV and she watched the tight and toned bodies on the screen go through their exercises and stretches.

Beth wanted a body like that. Fat free and tight. Her and every other woman. She'd been too caught up in living for somebody else in high school to live for herself. Now it was time to focus on herself and what she wanted.

The clock on the treadmill read ten minutes. Her warm up was over. She felt good, her body loose and ready for a work out. She cast a last glance at the TV and promised herself that she'd look like that one day. Unlike her friend Crystal, it would take her a lot of hard work. Sure, Crystal had risked dying a few times and turned into a werewolf, but she'd gone from being one of the prettier plus size girls she'd ever seen to looking lean and gorgeous.

But Crystal wouldn't let her risk it. She'd come right out and asked once, just to see. Crystal said no. It was too dangerous. She didn't want to risk losing her. Beth had no idea what gave Crystal the right to decide what risks Beth should and shouldn't take but it was bullshit. That had been the final straw for her. Her confirmation that leaving was the best thing.

Beth walked from the cardio room to the open weight room. She was ahead of the lunch rush, giving her a choice of what to do first. Monday was the worst day of the week. Legs and core. That meant squats and back extensions and deadlifts and crunches. She sucked in a breath and headed for an open squat rack, wondering how many squats she'd have to do before she had an ass like Penny did.

"As many as it takes," she vowed and began her workout.

Between sets she would glance around, looking at the other people exercising without making it obvious. It was mostly men in the weight room, but that was typical. Nobody big and beefy, nor were they any super fit women. No pressure from anybody, but no inspiration either. Beth bit her lip and closed her eyes. An image of Penny popped into her mind and made her curse under her breath. She'd hoped the trip to Paradise Lost would get her fixation out of her system, not make it worse.

Beth shook the thoughts away and tried to focus on the rest of her workout. Monday workouts sucked on a good day. Her lack of focus meant today's was going to set a new record for bad times.

Chapter 5

Beth looked over Vanessa's shoulder and froze. "Oh shit," she mumbled.

Vanessa and Mandy turned to see what made her sit up straight in the booth.

"Hey, that's the guy you went on the date with, right?" Carla asked. "I thought it went good?"

Beth groaned. He was talking to the hostess and hadn't looked her way yet. "I guess it was okay."

"So why are you avoiding him? That three day wait bullshit is so old!" Vanessa said. "Besides, that was four or five days ago, right?"

"That's not it," Beth said. "I've just had a rough week. And yeah, it's been long enough he probably thinks I don't like him."

"Has he tried to call you?" Mandy asked and reached for a french fry on her plate.

"Yeah, a couple of times."

"What?" Carla blurted. "You didn't tell me that?"

Beth shrugged. "I've been busy."

"You've been a zombie," Carla argued. "Between not sleeping and barely making it to class, what's going on?"

Vanessa pushed her glass of water out of the way and leaned forward. In a hushed voice she asked, "Did something bad happen? He didn't force you, did he?"

"What? No," Beth shook her head. "I mean, um, I—"

"You sucked him off," Carla said when Beth stammered too long.

Beth groaned and Mandy laughed. Vanessa's face remained serious. "Beth, did he rape you?"

Beth shuddered. "No."

"Are you sure?" Vanessa pushed. "Because no means no and a lot of these guys don't get it."

"Neither did he," Beth said.

Vanessa's eyes widened.

"No!" Beth snapped, seeing how she'd been misunderstood. "I meant he didn't get it. You know, it— sex?"

"Oh!" Vanessa straightened and laughed. "Okay, good. I mean, that he didn't force you."

Beth shook her head. "No, I know what that's like."

Vanessa's lips parted to let her gasp. "No! You do? Oh shit, I'm sorry!"

"No, it's cool."

"No, it's not!" Vanessa insisted.

Beth winced as her suitemate's voice rose. "I know rape's not cool. I meant you don't need to feel bad. I'm okay. It was… it was a weird time. It kind of helped me though. Helped me get my shit together, at least."

"That's terrible," she said. "I mean, I'm glad you're okay and all, I just wish it hadn't happened to you. I had a friend who—"

"Beth!" Colin called as he followed to an open table. He motioned to his friends and said, "Hey, I'll catch up."

Vanessa frowned but stopped talking as Colin stepped up to their table and grinned down at Beth. He glanced at the others and then looked back at her again. "Hey, I called you. How've you been?"

Beth forced a smile on her face while she studied him. Were his eyebrows longer? Did his teeth always look like that?

"Beth?"

She shook her head. "Oh my god! I'm sorry, I've had a rough week. Lots of homework and I haven't been feeling well."

"You look kind of tired," Colin said. "So, uh, are you doing anything Friday?"

"Friday?" Beth frowned. She wasn't. Heck, she never did anything. Her roommates had to practically dragged her out of the dorm to get her to come to dinner with them. She wasn't hungry and had barely picked at her food. "Um, call me later and we can talk. Maybe? I'm not sure, I need to check and see."

Colin frowned. "Are you going to answer this time?"

"Oh snap!" Mandy hissed.

Even Beth had to smirk when her suitemates laughed at her expense. "Yes, I'll answer. If I'm not asleep. Or in class. Or working out."

"Or doing her hair," Mandy added.

Vanessa joined in on the fun, "Filing her nails?"

"Shaving her bikini line," Carla offered.

"Stop it!" Beth groaned. She looked up at Colin and saw he was either amused or couldn't believe what was happening. "Yes, I'll answer. I promise."

"Cool," he said. "I'll get back to my friends. Thanks, um, everyone."

He hurried away from the table and left the girls laughing and Beth blushing. "You guys suck," she muttered.

"After last Friday, so do you," Carla reminded her and sent the rest of the table into another round of laughter.

Beth groaned and pushed her bowl back. "Anyhow, have we tortured me enough yet? I'm tired and I've got some studying to do."

"Depends, are you going to go out with him again?" Carla asked.

"He's cute," Mandy said.

"Looks big too, is he on the football team?"

"No, wrestler," Beth said.

Mandy squealed. "Ooh, I bet he could put you in some fun positions!"

"Oh my god," Beth moaned. She turned and waved for the waitress while her friends broke down laughing again.

The teasing stopped when the waitress showed up with their bills. They paid and made their way out, but not before Beth waved to Colin. He grinned and waved back, nearly losing his fork in the process.

"Boys," Mandy muttered. "So easy!"

"Yeah, but so are you," Vanessa teased.

Mandy gasped, "What?"

"I think she called you a slut," Carla tried to help.

Mandy spun on her roommate. "Oh, hell no!"

Vanessa grinned.

"Well, I'm not the one sucking off the wrestler," Mandy said.

Beth shook her head and followed them out. They walked back to the dorm, trudging through the chunky snow and chatting along the way. Beth walked slower than the others, lost in her thoughts about what she'd tell Colin. How could she let him down without making him upset?

It wasn't that he did anything wrong. Not really. She just wasn't into him. Okay, she was kind of freaked out about her dreams, but that couldn't be it. Those were just dreams, not anything real.

She'd dreamed about Penny too. She kept dreaming about her, in fact. Sometimes she was a waitress and sometimes she was a dancer. Other times she just showed up out of nowhere. She'd turned into a wolf in a few dreams and had red eyes in another.

"Beth! What's wrong?" Carla called back to her.

Beth looked up and frowned. She'd fallen back and was walking by herself. It was a little after seven and the streets of Ann Arbor were always busy, but she still felt silly. She jogged ahead to catch up to the others. "Sorry, lost in thought."

"Colin?" Carla asked.

"Yeah."

"Aren't you cold?" Mandy asked.

Beth glanced down and frowned. She was cold, but she hadn't thought much about it. She zipped her jacket up and glanced up. "Oops."

"So what's wrong with Colin?" Carla pressed.

"Nothing," she said. "Nothing at all. But I'm just not into him, you know?"

"Then tell him," Vanessa said. "Don’t lead him on."

Beth gasped. "Lead him— I'm not!"

"Okay, just be careful. That's how bad things happen sometimes. Guys get confused and mixed signals can—"

"Nessa, chill," Beth stopped her. "Step off the feminism soapbox, okay? I'll deal with it."

Vanessa's mouth dropped as though she'd been slapped. "Feminist? I'm not—"

"Woah, don't make me toss you both in a snow bank," Mandy threatened. She turned on Vanessa and said, "You are kind of pushy, but we know you're trying to keep us safe and we love you for it."

"No, you're right," Beth added. "I'm just tired and bitchy. It's good though. I'll take care of things."

Vanessa nodded and turned on Mandy. "Pushy? I'll push you into the snow bank!"

Mandy grinned and had to run to get away from Vanessa as she lunged after her. Carla and Beth both laughed as the two raced back to the dorm. Carla turned to Beth and said, "Hey, I need your help Friday."

"What?"

"That's what you tell him," she said. "Give yourself some more time."

"More time for what?" Beth wondered.

"To figure yourself out."

"What?"

"You know, figure out what you want. If it's him or not. Or if there's somebody else."

"What if there's nobody?" Beth asked. Or worse, she added silently, what if I really do like girls?

"Then there's nobody," Carla said. She grinned. "We'll get you a kitten and hide it from that RA, you can train to be a cat lady when you graduate."

"Oh my god!"

Carla laughed. "After the past few days I think you could stand to rub a pussy a little bit."

"Carlotta!" Beth shouted, using her roommate's full name to drive home her point. Her hand flew to her mouth but she'd already yelled at her roommate. She wondered, did Carla somehow know about Crystal? Did she know about the strip club?

Carla laughed harder. "Oh relax, it's okay. I was just teasing. Besides, anytime you need some privacy to, uh, work things out, you just shut the door. Nessa and Mandy don't need to know."

Beth's face felt hot but she nodded. "I'm good. But, um, thanks."

Carla smiled. "So what should we do? Are you helping me study or is there something else?"

"What?"

"On Friday, dingbat!"

"Oh!" Beth frowned. They had to come up with something believable and something that wouldn't get them busted. "I'm not sure."

"Well, we'll figure it out," Carla said. "Now come on, before they pick another god awful werewolf or vampire movie to watch!"

Beth winced but her roommate didn't see her, she was already moving ahead towards their dorm. She hurried after her but she didn't care what they watched. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to lay down and maybe, for once, get a decent night's sleep.