First Friends (27 page)

‘Nonsense. You'll be quite safe with all of us. It's going to be great fun. Now, stop droning on and have a drink.'

‘Who else have you invited?' Kate sank into the armchair beside the fire and accepted the glass.

‘Oh, just the usual gang,' said Cass, evasively. ‘Abby and I are going to Exeter to buy ourselves new dresses. No good suggesting that you come too, I suppose?'

‘It would be fun,' admitted Kate rather wistfully, ‘but I just can't afford it at present.'

‘I'm flush at the moment,' began Cass but Kate shook her head.

‘No thanks. It's sweet of you but I've plenty of things really. And Guy needs new rugger boots.'

‘Doesn't Mark take care of that?' Cass sat opposite. ‘Surely you don't let him off scot-free?'

‘No, no. He pays a monthly allowance which is supposed to take care of all that. It's a very generous one. But now and then lots of things come together and I hate asking Mark for more. We only communicate by letter now and it's like dealing with a stranger—everything's queried.' She shivered. ‘It's rather horrid, really. The twins never hear from him but they think that's because he's at sea all the time. We hardly ever talk about him. It's odd. It's as if he never really existed.'

‘Oh, well. All over now. Don't think about him—think about my party. If you're not going to buy anything new, go and look out something really special! Promise you, it's going to be a great evening.'

T
HE EVENING OF
C
ASS'S
party was cold and clear. Lights blazed out from the house and the women in their flimsy clothes were delighted to see the log fire burning in the drawing room.

Tom and Cass were in their natural element: expansive, welcoming, generous, they presided over the evening determined that everyone should have fun. Not all their guests were quite so relaxed.

Kate had been slightly overset by the sight of Alex in his evening clothes. She had been wandering around ready for at least half an hour before he was due, part of her wishing that she'd taken Cass up on her offer of a new outfit. Another part was determined not to deck herself out in an obvious way—as Pam might—and in the end she'd put on her long black skirt of crushed velvet with a grey silk shirt and tied a black silk scarf around her neck. She wore grey stockings and narrow, flat black pumps and knew that Cass would be cross with her for not making more effort. When she opened the door and saw Alex, elegant, tall and unfamiliar in his dinner jacket, she'd experienced a moment of panic. He seemed in that moment to be a complete stranger and, feeling gauche and underdressed, she had seized her cashmere wrap and hurried out. In the car she had said, lightly, ‘You look very dashing.' And he said, thoughtfully, ‘And you look just as I thought you would.' She didn't quite know what he meant and immediately felt dull and dreary. All ease between them seemed to have fled and Kate thought how odd it was to be back in the world, as it were, an unattached woman. She reflected that a second relationship was probably even more fraught with difficulty than one's first because one would take all the hang-ups from the first one into it. And then she had to direct him to the Rectory and a moment later they were turning in at the gate.

Kate paused at the door of the drawing room, taken aback at the sight of so many people. She had envisaged a fairly intimate dinner party of probably eight or ten at the most and she glanced at Alex to see his reaction.

He smiled down at her. ‘I hope that you're not planning to abandon me at this point to hurry off and talk to all your friends?'

Before he could answer Cass, dressed in floating blue silk, emerged from the throng, kissed Kate lightly on the cheek and then did the same to Alex.

‘How nice of you to come,' she said to him. ‘You must meet all these people but not all at once. So pointless, you'll never remember their names. Is Tom getting you a drink? Good. When you get your bearings Kate can introduce you a bit. You're next to me at dinner.' She twiddled her fingers at him and turned away.

‘I'm sure that she meant that to be comforting,' murmured Alex as Tom approached with their drinks. ‘Why can't I sit next to you?'

‘Cass never lets her guests sit by their partners,' said Kate, who had only just remembered this mildly disturbing fact. ‘She thinks that it's more fun to split them up.'

She took her drink from Tom and, while he talked to Alex about the antique print of Devonport that Alex had found for Kate to give him for his birthday, Kate let her gaze roam around the room over the other guests. Her heart gave a little jump as she saw George's handsome sleek head bent towards a red-headed girl and she instinctively looked for Felicity before she pulled herself together. As if Cass would have Felicity in her house! There was Tony, cigarette in hand, talking to a short brown-haired girl and a tall dark striking-looking girl who was faintly familiar. She had an inward look as though only part of her mind was on Tony's story. No good! Kate shook her head. Maybe it would come later. Abby, dressed in slinky black, was talking animatedly to a tall, fair man with his back to Kate while William stood by listening with an amused look on his face.

‘You know Ralph, don't you, Kate?' Tom was saying and the man on the edge of the group was turning to smile at her.

‘Of course.' Kate remembered Mark's First Lieutenant who had been so kind to her at that ghastly party and smiled with real warmth. ‘How nice to see you, Ralph. And now, of course, I remember! It's Harriet over there. I knew I recognised her. Wasn't she studying to be a Chartered Surveyor or something?'

‘Yes, she passed her finals just before we moved down,' said Ralph. ‘We've got a quarter at Shit-a-Brick.' He smiled and Alex looked puzzled. Kate laughed.

‘This is Alex Gillespie,' she said. ‘He's an expert on antiquarian books and prints but he doesn't understand crude naval language. Shit-a-Brick, roughly translated,' she explained to Alex, ‘is Crapstone. And this is Ralph Masters.' She noticed Ralph's enquiring look and knew at once what he was thinking. ‘Alex is my boss,' she said, lightly. ‘I'm a working woman now, you know.'

She hardened herself to go through the same procedure with George and Tony and was relieved when Cass announced that dinner was ready and they all moved into the dining room.

Mrs Hampton and her niece Jinny, who had come down from Exeter for the weekend, had been helping to prepare the house and cook the dinner and they stayed on to wait at table. It was all beautifully done and everybody was suitably impressed. They sat down fourteen to dinner and Kate looked with interest at Cass's seating plan. Two wives—Belinda and Pat—whose husbands were at sea, pairing off, as it were, with George and another submariner called Stephen, whose wife lived in Alverstoke. Tom, flanked by Harriet and Belinda, sat at one end of the great oval table and Cass sat at the other with Alex on one side and Stephen on the other. Kate had been placed between Tony and Ralph, looking directly across to Pat who had William and George on either side. She was interested to see that George and Pat seemed to be old, if slightly embarrassed, friends and she wondered what Cass was up to. She looked at Alex who was unfolding his napkin, his head inclined towards Cass, and then at Stephen who was talking to Abby on his left. At that moment, Jinny stepped between them to fill Abby's glass and a quick look flashed between Cass and Stephen which made Kate sit up and take notice. She glanced involuntarily at Tom whose attention was taken up by Harriet who was fiddling with knives and forks and looking very odd. Kate tried to analyse her look: it was conscious, excited and controlled. She turned to Tony, who was staring at Cass with an intense but unreadable expression, and as she did so caught a look of despair on the face of the girl called Liz. She was puzzled and a feeling of dread began to weigh on her; a sensation of something being created that would have some future drastic effect on all their lives, as a stone tossed into a
pond causes waves and ripples long after it has sunk to the bottom. There was an electric quality of overcharged emotions as if thought waves were beating the air like wings: people saying one thing and thinking another.

‘Yes, it's a lovely house. Absolutely lends itself to parties . . . ' (What fun this is! Mustn't let anyone guess, though. His wife would be down on us like a ton of bricks.) Cass: talking to Alex and thinking of Stephen.

‘I hear that you're a terribly important person now with letters after your name. Now that you're down we must see lots of you . . . ' (She's a real sweetie. Terribly shy, though. Lovely legs.) Tom: talking to Harriet and thinking about her in a different light.

‘Still a hoary old bachelor, I'm afraid. Still waiting for some kind lady to take me on. Living in the Mess at the moment . . . ' (I wonder if Cass heard that rumour about me and Pat. I wouldn't put it past her. Still, it's rather fun to see her again. Wonder how long her husband's away.) George: talking to Belinda and thinking about Pat.

‘Oh, of course. I know who you are. I bought a wonderful book from you for my mother . . . ' (I wonder which one of them it is that he fancies. Oh, God. Why can't it ever be me?) Liz: talking to Alex and yearning after Tony.

‘How refreshing to meet someone who isn't Navy. Do you live in the village?' (It's madness! What risks she takes! And so do I. I'm like a lovesick teenager. I can feel her leg under the table. Christ! Her old man's looking straight at me!) Stephen: talking to Abby and thinking about Cass.

‘So when's John back? Haven't seen him around for a bit . . . ' (She's bored with me. I knew it. I wonder which of the bastards it is!) Tony: talking to Pat and thinking about Cass.

‘I hadn't realised you weren't Navy. Do you live locally?' (Oh, what shall I do: I love him. I love him.) Harriet: talking to William and thinking about Tom.

‘Delicious pâté. My compliments to the chef.' (At least I can sit and
look at her. She's not with us—in another world.) Alex: talking to Cass and thinking about Kate.

As Jinny came round collecting empty plates, Kate shook her head as if to rid it of some fantastic thoughts and looked at Alex. He was leaning back in his chair, one hand in his pocket, the other idly turning his wine glass round by its stem. He was watching her and, as their eyes met, he raised his glass to her.

‘W
ELL, THEY CERTAINLY KNOW
how to give a party!' Alex negotiated the turn in the lane and headed for Walkhampton.

‘They're experts.' Kate was huddled into her shawl, pleasantly relaxed now having had rather more than usual to drink. Her emotions were heightened and disturbed by the atmosphere of the party. ‘They really love it, of course. I'm glad you enjoyed it.'

‘Yes, I did. It was nice to be with you in a non-work situation. May we do it again?'

‘Well, I don't know when Cass will be having another party . . . ' began Kate innocently and Alex laughed.

‘I asked for that,' he said as he drove down the hill and over the little hump back bridge that spans the River Meavy. ‘But you know perfectly well what I meant.'

‘It was fun,' admitted Kate and, for a blissful moment, forgot about being married, her reputation locally and how gossip or a divorce would affect the twins. She put out her hand and touched his knee. ‘Thank you for coming.'

He covered her hand at once with his own and held it. ‘It's a wonderful night,' he said. ‘The moon's up. Do you want to go straight home? We could take the Princetown road and go up to the top. The moor looks so unearthly by moonlight.'

Kate stared at him in amazement. They had reached the Burrator Hotel and he waited at the crossroads, eyebrows raised.

‘I . . . I should love it,' she stammered. ‘It's a wonderful idea.'

‘Good.' Alex turned right and they drove in silence until they reached Walkhampton Common.

Kate drew in her breath as Alex swung the car into one of the parking areas and switched off the engine. The flat white disc that was the moon bleached everything of colour: the granite boulders and the grass, sparkling in the grip of frost, created a silver-white background against which the gorse bushes and thorn trees were etched black.

‘Shall we get out?' suggested Alex after a moment. ‘I've got a rug here somewhere. You could wrap yourself in that. The air will be unbelievable.'

Kate got out and Alex came round to wrap the rug around her. He left an arm there afterwards and held her close against his side. Their breath smoked in the sharp singing air and the stars glittered with such brilliance that it seemed that they too must be touched by the frost. Kate's teeth chattered, partly from the cold and partly with excitement. She realised that she was trembling from head to foot and he held her closer and turned her chin up with his free hand.

‘I can't imagine a better time or place to tell you that I think I love you,' he said. ‘I know you're not free. I know there are all sorts of problems. But do you want to try to resolve them so that we can have a chance? Or is it still too soon for you?'

She looked up at him at last. ‘I'm afraid,' she said, almost inaudibly. ‘If I start, I'm afraid that I shan't know how to stop.'

‘That's what I thought,' he said, with a sigh of relief, and he bent to kiss her.

The rug and shawl fell unheeded to the ground as they held each other. They were disturbed by a heavy lorry that lumbered by, the driver banging derisively on his hooter and they drew apart. Kate stared up at Alex, her eyes blind with moonlight, and began to laugh. She was shivering violently in her thin silk shirt and he gave an exclamation and, bending down, picked up the rug and her shawl and wound her up in them.

‘Come on,' he said. ‘I'm going to take you home.'

O
THER TINY RIPPLES WERE
beginning to spread.