First Down (Texas Titans #3) (24 page)

“Yeah, but what about you? You haven’t said anything about Jack. You’re still seeing him, aren’t you?”

“Actually…” She hadn’t planned to tell her friend about Jack’s transfer, but since Kari had brought it up, she wouldn’t lie. “He’s leaving town. He got an offer at a force in San Diego. He made detective. Isn’t that great?”

“For him, maybe. But how about for you?”

“I’m fine with it. He was a nice guy, but you know it wasn’t serious.”

“Because of Grayson?” Kari sighed. “Honey, if you’re not going to call him, you have to forget about him. It’s not healthy to obsess over a man this way.”

“I’m not obsessing over him.” She sounded too defensive to be convincing. “I couldn’t care less about him.”

“Did I tell you I saw him last week?”

“What? Where? Why are you just now telling me this?” Alana bit her lip when she realized how irrational she sounded.

“I went to High Rollers with Ben for a drink. He was there with one of his partners.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah.” Kari laughed. “He made a beeline straight for me. I was actually kind of surprised he recognized me. We only met once.”

“What did he say?” Alana knew torturing herself wouldn’t help her get over him, but her heart and mind were out of sync. Her heart needed to know whether he’d said anything about her.

“He asked how you were.”

Alana’s throat tightened as she felt the familiar burn of tears welling. “What did you tell him?”

“That you were good. I didn’t tell him about the new job or apartment, and I certainly didn’t tell him about Jack. I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

“No!” If he knew about Jack, all hope would be lost. She still hoped it was him every time her phone rang, even though she’d changed her number. She knew that a man as resourceful as Grayson would find a way if he really wanted to reach her. “You were right not to tell him. He doesn’t need to know.”

“You still miss him, huh?”

Purposely avoiding the question, Alana asked, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think I should have given Gray another chance? Did I rush to judgment because of my experience with Ronan?”

“Maybe.”

“That doesn’t help. Since when are you shy about voicing your opinion?”

“Since you started crying at the drop of a hat.”

Alana knew she had been an emotional wreck since she’d gotten home. She’d started dating again just to put her family’s minds at ease, but it hadn’t helped her forget Grayson. “I’m not that bad.”

“Yeah, you are.” Kari sighed. “Not that I don’t understand. I do. But you need to figure out what you’re going to do, Alana. You can’t go on like this forever.”

“Do you really think I should call him? What if he’s moved on? He may have a girlfriend for all I know.”

“I doubt it. Those guys are pretty high profile. If he was seeing someone, I probably would have seen it in the paper or at least heard about it.”

Alana glanced at her door when someone tapped on it. “Oh, that must be the pizza I ordered.”

“What the hell happened to your clean eating regime? Every time I talk to you, it’s take-out or cold cereal. That’s not like you.”

Kari would worry if she admitted she didn’t have the energy to prepare a meal, so Alana said, “I’ve just been busy at work. Don’t worry, it’s a thin whole wheat loaded with veggies. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, love you, girl.”

“Love you too.” If not for Kari’s unwavering support, Alana wasn’t sure she would have survived the past few months.

Grayson’s carefully prepared speech disappeared as soon as she opened the door. “Hey.” One word, one syllable. That was all he could manage while his heart felt as if it might beat out of his chest.

“Grayson.” Alana covered her mouth as her eyes welled up with tears.

He prayed those were happy tears. “Guess you’re surprised to see me?” He looked over her shoulder, hoping she was alone. Not that her boyfriend would have prevented him from saying his piece.

“You could say that.” She stepped back, inviting him in. “How did you know where to find me?” A half-smile tilted her full mouth. “Wait a minute, do I want to know?”

He chuckled, grateful she didn’t seem as angry or resentful. “I went to your parents’ place. Your dad told me where to find you.”

“Really?” She closed the door and leaned against it. “That surprises me.”

“Believe me, he made me work for it.” Grayson took in her little apartment. It was nice. The walls were freshly painted, the carpet was clean, and the compact furniture looked new. It wasn’t large, but it was well taken care of. Most importantly, the building seemed safe. “Nice place you got here.”

“Thanks, I like it.” She gestured to the small kitchen. “I’m just waiting on a pizza. Would you like a drink in the meantime?”

He hoped that meant she was inviting him to stay for dinner. “I’d love a beer, if you have one.”

“I think my brothers left some when they helped me move in.”

He followed her into the kitchen, barely suppressing a groan when she bent over to check the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. She was wearing black shorts and a fitted black tank top. The way her shorts rode up reminded him of the night they’d made love in his hot tub. Curling his nails into his fists, he reminded himself she was likely another man’s lover. He had no right to touch her.

“Here we go,” she said, looking triumphant as she pulled two bottles out of the fridge. “I think I’ll join you. I could use a drink.”

“Been one of those days for you, too?”

The sparkle faded from her eyes as she reached into a drawer for a bottle opener. “I’ve had a lot of those days lately.”

Meeting her eyes, he said, “Me too.” He reached for the bottles and the opener. When their fingers brushed, he felt a bolt of arousal charge his body. “The past few months have been hell for me. I had no idea I could miss someone so much.”

Alana opened and closed her mouth. “Why are you here?”

Before he could answer, someone knocked on the door.

“Damn it,” she said, running a hand over her disheveled ponytail. “That must be the pizza.”

“I’ll get the door. You grab the beers.” He shouldn’t be issuing orders in her home, especially since he was already walking a fine line with her, but he needed to put some distance between them before he did something stupid… like drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness.

“Let me get the money,” she said, following him with her purse.

“I got this.” He reached into his jeans for a wad of bills. He peeled a twenty off the top as he pulled the door open.

“Hi,” the teenager said with a wide grin. His face fell when he saw Grayson. “Oh, I, uh, thought…”

“Hi, Charlie.” Alana waved at the kid over Grayson’s shoulder. “How are you?”

“I’m good.” He frowned at Grayson before stepping aside so he could get a better view of Alana. “How are you?”

“Fine, thanks.”

“How much?” Grayson asked, intentionally stepping into the kid’s line of sight. It was irrational to be jealous of a pizza delivery boy, but anyone who looked at Alana that way made his blood boil. The kid wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like Alana, but the teenage Romeo probably thought he might get a chance to figure it out.

Charlie looked at the receipt taped to the box as a blush crept up his neck. “Oh, uh, $15.73.”

“Thanks.” Grayson reached for the box while he shoved a twenty at him before closing the door.

Alana gripped the beer bottles until the skin stretched across her knuckles. “That was rude. He’s a nice kid. In fact, his grandmother lives downstairs. She’s trying to teach me—”

“I’m not interested in Charlie-boy or his grandmother.” Grayson winced when he realized cutting her off wasn’t the best way to ingratiate himself to her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just… It bugs me to see other guys looking at you that way, okay? I know he’s only a kid and you have no interest in him, but it still pisses me off.”

Grayson had never admitted to being jealous before. Hell, he couldn’t even remember when another woman had provoked those feelings in him. The fact that he was worried about a pizza delivery boy with acne and pizza sauce on his shirt was evidence that he’d lost his mind over this girl.

Alana’s lips twitched before she relaxed her stance. “I can’t believe you’re jealous of Charlie. That’s just sad, Grayson.”

He glanced at a framed photo on her end table. “I guess he’s the guy I’m supposed to be jealous of?”

Her gaze followed his to the picture. “Jack gave me that. It was taken on our first date. I kind of felt obligated to put it somewhere.”

Seeing evidence of her with another man killed him. “Is he a good guy? Does he treat you well?”

“He’s a perfect gentleman.”

Grayson raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. “Are you trying to tell me he hasn’t tried to get you into bed?” He had no right to ask, but he had to know how serious their relationship was before he told her what was on his mind.

“That’s none of your business.” She deposited the beer bottles on the glass and iron coffee table. “If you’ll excuse me, I forgot the napkins.” He grabbed her wrist as she walked past him. Her chest was rising and falling fast, as though she was either nervous or excited.

“You can continue torturing me, or you can tell me the truth.” His eyes lingered on her mouth. As soon as he saw her pupils dilate, he knew he’d won the battle.

“I haven’t slept with him.”

“Or anyone?” He was pushing his luck, but baring his soul would be so much easier if he knew he hadn’t been the only one who’d been celibate for three months.

“You’re unbelievable,” she said, withdrawing her wrist from his firm grasp. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in months, and you just show up at my door demanding to know if I’ve slept with anyone since you.”

He set the pizza box on a small table before stepping closer. “Have you?” He was close enough to graze her cheek with his lips. “Please. Just tell me.”

She closed her eyes as she drew a deep breath. “No, I haven’t.” She stepped back. “I have to get those napkins.”

Patience is a virtue.
It was enough to know she hadn’t been intimate with anyone since she’d left town. At the coffee table, he opened the pizza box and beers before she returned with the napkins.

“How do you like your new job?” he asked, hoping to venture into safer territory.

“It’s okay, I guess.” She set napkins and plates on the table. “It’s just bookkeeping, nothing too challenging, but it pays the bills. I get a discount on clothes, so I guess I can’t complain.”

“I heard you managed to get your crazy ex off your back.”

She reached into the pizza box for a slice. “Wow, my father didn’t leave anything out, did he?”

“I like Kent. He’s a good guy.” He didn’t realize she was watching him until he bit into his pizza. “What? Do I have sauce on my face?” He reached for a napkin, dabbing at his mouth.

“No, I just can’t believe you and my dad hit it off. He had pretty strong opinions about what happened between us.” She shifted uncomfortably before passing him a plate. “I don’t want you to think I run to my parents with every little problem, but I had to stay with them for a while when I got back to town, and it was pretty obvious something had made me leave my new job. I finally told them the whole story when I got tired of them asking me if I was all right.”

“They were concerned about you. I get that. My family’s been the same way.”

“They have?”

“Sure. I haven’t been myself since you left. They wanted to know what happened.”

“Did you tell them?” she asked.

“Eventually.”

“How did they react?”

Grayson smiled. “You mean before or after my mother slapped me upside the head and called me an idiot?”

She returned his smile. “I have a feeling I’d like your mother.”

“You’d love her. And she’d love you, Alana.” He decided it was time to lay his cards on the table. “My mother’s been waiting forever for me to find someone who’d love me in spite of my money, not because of it. When she found out I’d finally met the perfect girl and messed it up, she was almost as devastated as I was.”

Alana set her plate down, and he noticed her hand trembling. “For the record, you weren’t the only one who was devastated about what happened. It wasn’t easy for me to leave.”

“I know that. You had a great opportunity with High Rollers and—”

“It wasn’t just the job that made it hard to leave, and you know it.” She looked on the verge of tears. “Do you think I wanted to leave you? I didn’t, but you didn’t give me a choice. I couldn’t stay as if it were okay you deceived me, invaded my privacy, and tried to control my life.”

“I get that—”

“I’m not sure you do.” She took a steadying breath as a fury crossed her face. “Do you know what it’s like to be made to feel like you’re not smart enough to make your own decisions? I was on the Dean’s list the year I graduated. I maintained a 4.0 GPA for four years in college. I’m not some dumb blonde who can’t decide what color shoes to wear.”

“I know that, baby.”

She looked him in the eye. “Do you? Really?”

“Of course I do,” he whispered, reaching for her hand. “Your intelligence is one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”

She squeezed his hand and released it. “I didn’t have anxiety attacks before I met Ronan, and I haven’t had a single one since I left Arlington.”

“That’s good,” he said with the sinking feeling she was sending him a message he didn’t want to hear.

“I had one that night we went jogging. Do you remember?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“And I had one in your office the day of the interview.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with us?”

“Being with someone should feel right. It should feel easy. It shouldn’t make you anxious.”

He couldn’t argue with that, but he wasn’t willing to concede either. They were good for each other, and he was determined to prove it to her. “Are you saying being with me didn’t feel right?” He inched closer. “Can you tell me making love to me didn’t feel like nothing you’ve ever experienced?”