Firebird (32 page)

Lloyd looked down at his hands. ‘No, I have not forgotten.' He spoke in a low voice. ‘But you are right, Joe, of course you are. I am ungrateful sometimes, bitter often, but isn't it natural for a man to want to be whole?'

‘It is also natural for a man to sit beneath the sun, to feel the rain on his face, to breathe in the sweet air and to be thankful.'

‘You and your philosophies, Joe. You see how different you are from a white man? In spite of your father's efforts, you are a native to the bone.'

‘Then perhaps I have the best of both worlds, Captain.' Joe took Llinos's hand and kissed her fingers. ‘I will go to settle my father's affairs – I have bills to pay, promises to fulfil. But I'll be back for you, my love, don't doubt it.'

She clung to him, her head buried against his shoulder. ‘I don't want you to go.'

Joe held her away from him. ‘It won't be for long. While I'm away, think hard about your life, be a fulfilled woman by the time I come for you and I will be happy.'

Llinos watched from the window as Joe walked away from Pottery Row and as he disappeared around the corner of the road, she felt as though he was taking part of her with him.

As Joe left the house, he was fighting the anger and disappointment of finding Lloyd still set against him. He strode along Pottery Row and took the path down towards the river. He would need to buy a horse and tack as well as provisions for the journey. It would be better to find lodging for a night or two and once he was ready, he would begin the journey back to his home on the Marches.

‘Joe! I heard you were home.' Eynon was just dismounting from his horse at the gates of Ty Mawr. ‘I've been for a gallop along the beach, it's good to feel the sea breeze in your face when you want to blow away the cobwebs.'

He gestured towards the house. ‘I'm staying here for the time being, my father is not well.'

‘I'm sorry to hear it, anything I can do?'

‘I don't know. I'm hoping the fever will break soon,' Eynon said.

‘I've got just the thing for fevers.' Joe dipped into his baggage. ‘All you do is to distil . . .'

‘Hey, hold on! I'm no good at that stuff. Why don't you come up to the house and mix the potion for me?'

‘All right. In return perhaps you can direct me to a good lodging house.'

‘You are looking for lodgings?' Eynon asked. ‘So you are not staying at the Savage Pottery, then?'

‘No, I'm not.'

‘Well, look, you can stay here with me, there are plenty of rooms, goodness knows. Anyway, I'm in need of company.'

‘How could I refuse such an offer?' Joe swung his bag from his shoulder and rested it on the ground. Beneath his feet, shards of pottery crunched against the drive, glinting like diamonds in the sunlight.

‘Are you hungry, would you like a bite of something? I think the servants should have breakfast cooking by now.'

Joe followed Eynon along the drive and into the hallway of the big house. ‘I'll need to go into the kitchen,' he said. ‘I'll have to infuse some herbs in boiled water.'

‘Go ahead. Don't mind the servants. Come and join me in the dining-room as soon as you are ready.'

Joe made the potion silently, aware of the cook watching him with curious eyes. While the liquid cooled, he joined Eynon in the dining-room, realizing that he was hungry.

Eynon put down his gleaming cutlery, ignoring the fine dish of kidneys and the fresh crusty bread.

‘I'm in love with Llinos and I want to marry her,' he said. Joe looked at him for a long moment and decided that honesty was the only answer.

‘I know.'

‘Good. You are going away, Joe? Does that mean you will not be courting Llinos yourself?'

Joe looked at him long and hard. ‘Lloyd has rejected me as a son-in-law,' he said. ‘But Llinos and I are meant to be together, it will happen.'

‘Well, we'll see,' Eynon said. ‘I'm hoping she will grow tired of waiting and will accept me.'

‘I can't stop you doing what you think best, Eynon.' Joe smiled. ‘Our fates are drawn for us, do you believe that, Eynon?'

‘I don't know,' Eynon said. Joe saw him look around at the high ceiling and opulent hangings. ‘Is this
my
fate then?'

Joe was silent and after a moment Eynon spoke again. ‘I have always hated him, you know, my father.' He swallowed the contents of his cup. ‘It's mutual. He doesn't want me near him, not even now when he's sick. I wish he could have loved me.'

Joe rose from the table. ‘I think the potion will be ready now. Shall I ask one of the maids to take it to your father?'

‘No.' Eynon pushed away his plate. ‘I'll do it.' He left the room and Joe was alone with his thoughts.

Later, when Joe was preparing to walk into town, Eynon protested that he must not bother to buy a horse, he could take one from the Tawe stables.

‘Good heavens, Joe, there are enough animals here to serve a regiment. Choose which one you like and you'll find anything else you need in the tack room in the yard.'

‘That's very generous of you, Eynon, but won't your father protest?'

‘My father is in no position to protest. By the way, the medicine you concocted has brought about an improvement already. Should I give my father more of it?'

‘You can do, perhaps just before nightfall would be the best time. By morning we'll know if it has worked or not.'

In the evening, the two men sat together and talked. Eynon was drinking a great deal of brandy and his normally pale face became quite flushed.

‘She can't marry you, Joe,' he said suddenly. ‘It wouldn't do, you see. You are a fine chap, a handsome chap, but she deserves the best. I mean, what can you offer her?'

Joe smiled. ‘I don't know, Eynon. Love, perhaps?'

‘Ah, well, love is all fine and good but what about material things, you might not think they count, Llinos might not believe they do either, not now but she will, later she will.'

‘Eynon, I'm not going to argue with you,' Joe said. ‘If you will excuse me I'm going to turn in, I'm tired.'

‘All right, old boy. Sorry to be so hard on you but it won't do, you see. Llinos must marry one of her own sort.' As Joe left the room, he heard the clink of glass and knew that Eynon was pouring himself yet another brandy.

Later, Joe lay in the elegant guest room, facing the fire, seeing the glow of the flames around the logs. He marvelled at the colours which sprang from the wood, he saw pictures in the flames, pictures of a girl with long black hair and eyes that melted the heart of him. Llinos.

When he was with her he longed to undress her, to lie with her in the soft grasses of his homeland, to make her his own. And yet now, as he considered Eynon's reproachful words and thought of Lloyd's objections, he wondered if he was taking the wrong path. Joe sighed and shifted and turned his eyes away from the flames and when he slept, he dreamed of Llinos, dreamed he was touching, caressing her, dreamed they were one flesh. When he woke, the fire had died. Light was barely creeping into the bedroom.

He splashed his face with water and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he picked up his bag and let himself out of the house. He looked back once at Pottery Row, at the house behind the wall, and sent Llinos his message of love.

He moved out into the yard, heard the soft breathing of the horses in the stables and knew it was time to be on his way. The sun speared through the clouds and the breeze of morning touched his face and it was as though Llinos had answered him with a kiss.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The pottery shed was filled with sunlight into which motes of dust fell like snow. Llinos watched as Mr Wright took one of the newly baked plates to the window and held it up to the light.

‘What do you think, Llinos?'

She took the plate from him and examined it carefully, turning it around and then holding it at a level with her eye.

‘No misshaping in the heat, that's one good thing. Some pitting on the glaze but not too much. I think we can call this one a success.'

‘Thank heavens you came back to us when you did.' Mr Wright rubbed his hands against his apron. ‘I've missed your common sense and your good ideas.'

‘Thank you, Mr Wright.' Llinos felt extraordinarily pleased at the compliment. ‘Mr Morton-Edwards is recovering slowly but he will need to take care of himself.'

Mr Wright turned his eyes up to heaven. ‘Eynon does his best but he's no substitute for his father.' He smiled at Llinos. ‘I thank the good Lord for sending us a lady who is prepared to make decisions!'

Llinos knew the old man was right, Eynon was not interested in experimenting with china. He was not interested in the business at all. He seemed to have withdrawn into a shell since his father's illness. All Eynon seemed to want was to keep the pottery ticking over while he sat in the big house and brooded. It was not as if he could communicate with his father, the two were at loggerheads.

She thought of her own father, how she had hated him for his attitude to Joe. It was because of her father that she and Joe were still apart. She had stayed in her father's house, lived beneath his roof, but only on condition that she go back to work in the Tawe Potteries.

Llinos wiped her hands on the cloth tucked in her belt. ‘I'd better be going,' she said. ‘I've made Eynon promise to come with Binnie and me to Greenhill to see Maura. It's time Binnie made up his mind to marry the girl and stopped acting like a child.'

It did not escape her notice that Mr Wright was concealing a smile. To him she was just a young girl and a spinster to boot and yet Llinos knew she was much older than her years.

Binnie now was different, he had remained a child for far too long. It was only lately that Binnie Dundee had begun to grow into a man. When Binnie had seen Maura return to claim her child and take her daughter to the home which she had provided for her, only then had he been forced to face the fact that as a father he was abdicating his responsibilities.

Llinos left the sheds and brushed at her hair, feeling the grit from the china against her fingers. The soft breezes and the sunshine-dappled river made her think again of Joe; in truth, he was never far from her thoughts. She missed him, she dreamed about him, she ached to be with him. She took out his letter and read it again, even though the brief message was etched on her mind.

‘My dear Llinos, I am going to America. This is something I must do but I will come back to you, I promise.'

It was signed in flowing script. Wah-he-joe-tass-e-neen.

Llinos returned the letter to her pocket, it was all she had of him now. Joe had forsaken her. He had left the shores of Britain and gone to America to find his roots. In all probability, he would also find a wife from his own people and never return to Britain. Joe was lost to her.

Would her father ever be sorry for his interference in her affairs? She doubted it. They scarcely spoke to each other these days.

Eynon was sitting in the garden. He looked up at her and his expression lightened. ‘Llinos, come to spend some time with me?'

‘I've come to tell you to get ready for our little jaunt to Greenhill,' she said. ‘I've seen Binnie and persuaded him to try to talk to Maura.'

‘I had forgotten.' Eynon caught her hand. ‘And there I was thinking you wanted to be with me. You are a difficult woman at times!'

‘Eynon, my love, I wish I could help you to find what you really want in this life but I can't, you know that.'

He patted the seat and she sat beside him and he rested his head against hers. ‘Give it time, Llinos,' Eynon said. He smiled. ‘I think your father would be pleased if you chose me, don't you think so?'

Llinos considered the matter. ‘I think my father would agree to me marrying anyone so long as it wasn't Joe.' She caught the look of hurt pride that crossed Eynon's face. ‘But he would be over the moon if it was you, of course,' she added hastily.

‘Well then, think about it. You have lost Joe, he's gone away perhaps for ever, so why don't you marry me and then one day everything I have will be yours, including the new porcelain recipes?'

‘It's impossible,' Llinos said, not even attempting to conceal her smile. ‘The only man I'll marry is Joe.'

He caught her hand and kissed her fingers. ‘Of course you'll always love him but he's not here and I am. Just don't say anything now, promise you will think about it.'

She chuckled. ‘I'll think about it all right, think how mad you are, my dear, dear Eynon.'

‘Oh, shut up. Come on, we'd better be starting out for Greenhill, it looks like rain and I don't want to be caught in a shower,' Eynon said easily.

The streets of Greenhill were awash with rain and mud. From the window of the carriage, Llinos watched as a child crouched against a bank and let forth a stream of urine that soon mingled with the rain and was gone.

As he stepped down from the carriage, Eynon exclaimed in disgust, ‘Good lord, do these houses have no sanitation at all?' He stepped gingerly over a mound of human excrement.

‘The people who live here are paid the lowest wages in the whole of the country,' Binnie said, his voice gruff. ‘They are honest and hard-working, mostly Irish immigrants. They do the jobs that other people don't want.'

‘Sorry.' Eynon made a face at Llinos and she smiled. ‘I won't say another word,' Eynon added drily.

The house where Maura was living was at the end of a long court and from the outside, at least, it appeared clean and respectable, the windows gleaming from much polishing. Maura opened the door herself. She looked tired and she was dressed in clothes that were worn and patched.