Fire With Fire (35 page)

I can’t even go over to her apartment. It’s not like I have a
right. It’s not like anyone would think to check on how I’m
dealing, or give me a shoulder to cry on. No one is explaining to
me why this happened, what was the cause of the accident, what
the fuck we’re all supposed to do now.

I’ve texted Lillia maybe ten times, and she hasn’t written
back once. Not one fucking time, when she knows that Rennie
was my best friend too.

I don’t feel like I can even go check on Mary until I talk to Lil
so she can explain what the hell is going on.
I let my head fall against the windshield and my eyes close,
but as soon as they do, the tears come flooding back. This is all
fucking crazy. It’s insanity.
I haven’t slept. Not a wink. Just sobbed and smoked, sobbed
and smoked on repeat since I saw her Jeep burning in the ravine.
I glance at the dashboard clock. It’s five p.m.
Rennie’s been dead fifteen hours.
Fifteen hours ago. I was the last person to see her alive.
I start shaking, shaking and crying, and my head hurts so
fucking bad. I stick my hand in my pocket and take the Valium
that Pat handed me when I first tried to lie down, after we’d
gotten home from the woods. Lord knows where he even got
it. I wash it down with a sip of cold gas-station coffee.

I guess I eventually do nod off, because I don’t know how long
has passed before I hear a knock at my window.
Lillia.
I lean across the car and open the passenger-side door. She
climbs in. The skin around her eyes is pink and her face looks
so pale.
“Sorry I didn’t text you back,” she whispers. “I was with her
mom. She . . . she’s in really bad shape.”
I just stare at Lillia, because I don’t know what to say. She
starts crying. Quiet, delicate tears.
“Do they know what happened? Why she crashed?”
“I don’t know. The officers aren’t saying yet.”
“Did you know she had pictures of you putting E in Reeve’s
drink?”
Lillia pales. “You saw them?”
“Yeah. Rennie showed me after you left. I had to convince
her to leave with me and not show everybody at the party. I
went back and got them and burned them but I don’t know if
they’re the only copies or what.”

Lillia closes her eyes. “I can’t even think about that right
now.”
“Well, you better think about it because if people see those
pictures, we’re fucked.” I feel my lip curl. “What the hell happened with you and Reeve last night?”
Her mouth starts opening and closing, but no words come
out.
“For fuck’s sake, Lillia!” I shake my head and wrap my
hands around the steering wheel. “What are you going to say
to Mary?”
“I don’t know, okay!” Lillia shouts, wiping her eyes. “I can’t
even think straight right now.”
I rail on. “I hope you don’t think that I’m going to be the one
to tell her, do your dirty work for you. That’s on you.”
“Kat, God! Can you just—can you just give it a rest? Rennie’s
dead. My oldest friend in the world is dead.”
I slam my hands on the steering wheel and scream my throat
raw. “You don’t think I know that! You think you were the
only one who cared about her?”
Lillia wipes her tears with the sleeve of her coat. “I can’t
believe any of this is happening.” She turns toward me, eyes
sad but hopeful. “I mean, this could all be a bad dream. Right?”
CHAP
TER SIX
T
Y -SEVEN

I’m outside Kat’s car, listening to them
fighting. Fighting over who’s going to have to tell me what I
already know.

They’re the ones who don’t know. I’m the one with the secrets.
So many secrets. Still so much to figure out.
I do know this for sure. What happened last night, it wasn’t

My family, my friends, my heart. My life.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a burn for a burn.
A life for a life.
That’s how this all started. That’s how it’s gonna end.