ʺR-r-ralas tells it,ʺ I said, wondering if I was betraying her somehow. ʺIt's got a foogit in it, you know. After I'dâuhâfound Sippy, she used to tell me all the foogit stories she knew.ʺ I went on, knowing I was blithering, but the old guy's interest was unnerving, ʺF-f-foogits aren't very popular, at least not where IâDag and Iâare from. S-she was trying to make me feel it wasn't s-s-silly or dumb to haveâuhâadopted one, sort of. I mean, he stayed with Ralas most of the time.ʺ
ʺNot silly at all,ʺ said the old guy. ʺFoogits have a long and honourable history.ʺ
ʺRescued,ʺ said Dag. ʺHe rescued Sippy. Sippy'd've died.ʺ
I could feel the blood beating against my skin as if the Firespace had got inside me. I knew Dag was trying to say that I'd done a good thing, but it was way too near my secret, that I wanted to be a healer. Besides, I hadn't done such a great job healing Sippy.
ʺAnd who is Ralas?ʺ the old guy went on smoothly.
I didn't say anything. I could feel the stutter waiting to happen some more. I stared at the floor. Then Sippy inserted himself between my knees and I had to look at him instead. He put his head on my leg and stared up at me with his two big fringy eyesâfoogits have amazing eyelashes: they're good at everything to do with hairâas if he was trying to tell me something. He needed a good brushing. He was covered in dust and dragon oil too. The third eye was hidden again, under his topknot.
After the pause got long enough to be uncomfortable, Dag said, ʺRalas is our village all-sorts wizard. But she's a good one. She can do all kinds of stuff and never makes a fuss about it. None of us knows why she stays in our little nowhere village.ʺ
ʺAnd how did you come to adoptârescueâyour foogit?ʺ the old guy went on implacably.
This time when I still didn't answer Dag leaned over and banged my foogit-free leg with his hand. ʺHey. Wake up. This is your story.ʺ
I raised my eyes to the old guy's face and sighed. ʺWeâmy parents and Iâwere at a craft fair a few towns away from home. Sippy was just a pup, and he was lost, and he had a broken leg. He was crying, and everyone was ignoring him because he was a foogit and he had a broken leg. So I picked him up. The town wizard's door-keeper wouldn't even let me in, so there was only me, and I made a mess of setting his leg and by the time we got back to Ralas, who will help anyone, it was too late and he'll always be lame, but at least he's alive. And he doesn't seem to mind. And he eats pretty well. Sir,ʺ I finally remembered to add.
The old guy took his way-too-penetrating eyes off me for a minute and looked at Sippy. As if Sippy could feel that gaze burning into his butt he lifted his head off my leg and pranced around the room a time or two.
ʺI don't see any lameness,ʺ said the old guy.
Dag made a little grunt I knew well. It was a big-brother-about-little-brother grunt. ʺSippy hasn't been lame in years. Ern seems to need to go on believing he did it wrong.ʺ
Stop, I thought at my brother. Just stop.
ʺAre you Ralas' apprentice then?ʺ said the old guy.
ʺNo, sir,ʺ I said, trying not to look miserable, which is how I felt every time I thought about not being Ralas' apprentice. And before he asked me the next obvious question, I said, ʺI'm not anybody's apprentice.ʺ I could feel the old guy's eyes boring into the top of my head again but I refused to look up.
ʺHmm,ʺ said the old guy. ʺWell. I had better warn you you'll be expected to come to the council meeting.ʺ
I jerked my eyes up then, really fast, to see if he was talking to me, and he was.
ʺYou and Sippy are rather the heroes of the hour, you know,ʺ the old guy went on, ʺand the fact is that most of the Academy is very eager to know more about how you did it.ʺ
ʺDid
what
?ʺ I said. I was too terrified to stammer, but my voice went up about three octaves.
ʺBrought Hereyta into the Firespace, and brought her back out again, of course, you idiot,ʺ said Dag, before the old guy could say anything. ʺIt wasn't me!ʺ
ʺI didn't do anything!ʺ I squeaked.
ʺYou jumped off Hereyta's back when she was about a league up in the sky!ʺ said Dag.
ʺThat was just stupid!ʺ I said.
The old guy laughed. ʺIt worked,ʺ he said.
ʺIt was still stupid,ʺ I said, truthfully. ʺAnd I didn't jump. I went after Sippy. Which is even stupider.ʺ
The old guy looked at me thoughtfully for a minute or two. I glanced at him sideways. I was longing to know about the delor leaf. I couldn't see any self-protective rigidity when he moved but he'd be the kind of guy who wouldn't let pain show until it killed him. ʺYou said your Ralas told you a lot of stories about foogits. What sort of stories were they?ʺ
I stopped looking at him sideways and stared. What sort of stories?
As if I'd said it aloud, he said, ʺWhen there's a foogit in a story, what usually happens?ʺ
ʺOh,ʺ I said slowly. ʺThe foogit usually does something really stupid.ʺ I added reluctantly, ʺAnd then something good happens that wouldn't've if it hadn't've.ʺ
ʺYes,ʺ said the old guy. ʺAnd since I think getting the rest of what I want out of you would be rather harder than wringing blood from a stone, I'll say it myself: and usually the person who then makes the something good happen after the foogit does something ridiculousâI'm not going to call it stupidâis a rather special person, and often the hero of the story.ʺ
ʺOr if he isn't the hero he steals the story away from the hero,ʺ said Dag dreamily. I hadn't realised he'd ever listened to any of Ralas' foogit stories. But Dag likes all animals, like me.
The old guy laughed again. He had a rather nice laugh. If only he'd slouch a little. ʺWe all saw what happened when you disappearedâI don't think anyone on the field was looking at any dragon but Hereyta from the moment the first one lifted off the groundâdid you dive after Sippy to get back out again as well?ʺ
ʺNo,ʺ said Dag. ʺErn just stood up and looked around a minute and then pointed.ʺ
I hadn't known Dag had seen any of it. Last thing I knew he was leaning on his hands with his eyes shut. ʺNo,ʺ I said in my turn. ʺIt's something about making a triangle with three of us looking in the same direction, Hereyta, Sippy andâsomeone. I think the two of them and Arac had been doing something like it as part of Sippy's running-around game, on the ground. I don't know why it seems to take three of us when Hereyta's only missing one eye. I don't know
anything.
I don't know why it worked and I don't know how to do it again. Maybe you can train Arac to doâwhatever.ʺ
ʺMaybe we can. And if important discoveries were easy more people would make them,ʺ said the old guy.
ʺMaybe it's not an important discovery!ʺ I said. I wanted to lie down again and put the pillow over my head.
ʺOh, I think it is,ʺ said the old guy. ʺIf this were a battlefield situation you might be rightâat the end of everything anything is possible, and the gods sometimes send a miracle that will not be repeated. But thisâpardon me, Dag, Eled and Setyepâthis was only one year's First Flight at this Academy. What you did, Ern, is something that can be done. We need only learn the mechanism for it.ʺ
Only. I wanted worse to lie down and put the pillow over my head. And for everyone to go away.
ʺYou're tired,ʺ said the old guy. ʺAnd not surprising. What you did . . . well. You've proved it was possible but it was not easy. The council meeting is tomorrow. You and Dag will be called for midmorning. You can rest till then.ʺ
ʺHe doesn't need any more sleep,ʺ said Dag in the brutal way of brothers. ʺHe's had plenty of sleep. He gets tired as a way of making himself invisible. It doesn't work as well as it used to, before Sippy. And before he was always looking around for people who looked hurt or worried and then groping in his pocket for some stinky leaf or dirty root that was going to make them feel better. I know,ʺ he said to me, ʺthat sidling around and looking tired and harmless is the reason why so many people let you give them your stinky leaves and dirty roots, but it's not going to work here, okay?ʺ
ʺYes, I'd noticed the sidling and harmless,ʺ said Eled.
ʺIt's the little ones you have to watch out for,ʺ said Setyep. ʺYou don't want to underestimate a little one.ʺ
ʺWith those feet you'll always hear him coming,ʺ said my brother blandly.
The old guy actually reached out and put his hand on my arm. ʺTake it easy, you lot,ʺ he said. ʺHe's four or five years younger than you and has important work to grow into.ʺ He stood up. I stumbled to my feetâmaybe not only because he still had his hand around my wristâwhile the three First Flighters shot up like arrows released from bowstrings. They were all in fresh uniforms andâI only now noticedâall had a shiny new bit of purple ribbon over their cadet badges. ʺDon't let them bully you,ʺ he said to me. ʺMaybe you have aâerâstinky leaf for that too.ʺ
ʺSir,ʺ I said, and stopped.
ʺAsk,ʺ said the old guy. ʺI haven't eaten you yet, although I'm aware you're waiting for me to try.ʺ
ʺWhy did you,ʺ I said confusedly, ʺin the food hall that morningâask me. Ask me at all. But in front of everyone.ʺ
Some of his wrinkles seemed to smooth out when he smiled. ʺI told you I've been cherishing a small terrible hope that there might be a good reason why the signs demanded Hereyta Fly for First Flight this year. When Hereyta's First Flight partner came back to school a fortnight ago with a brother and a foogitâa foogit with a lucky third eye and a brother who had a secret calling as a healerâʺ
When he said ʺhealerʺ the Firespace started beating against the inside of my skin again.
ʺâI wanted anything you could do for us, for Hereyta,ʺ he said, and for a moment he looked a lot like Dag, that fierce, intent, passionate look Dag had when he talked about his dragons. ʺSo I wanted to flush you into the open. I wanted you to feel your healing gift was welcome here.ʺ
Welcome, I thought. Healing welcome. ʺDid you use it, sir? The delor leaf. Did you use it? Did it work?ʺ
For the first time his authority wavered, and he looked almost embarrassed. ʺYes. I used it, and it worked. And when the council meeting is over, I would like more delor leaf, if you would be so kind. I haven't decided if I'm going to make the half-dozen other of us old smashed-up veterans who'd like to try it too ask you themselves or not. I probably will. You'll tell me you need to speak to them individually anyway, won't you?ʺ
I stood up straight. Straighter, anyway. ʺYes, sir. I will.ʺ
ʺGood.ʺ
There was a brief, strained silence after Eled, who had jumped first as the old guy turned toward the door, closed it gently behind him. Then Dag said, ʺI'm going to make Ern have a bath nowâʺ
ʺYou don't have to make me,ʺ I said with the dignity of the truly filthy. ʺI
want
a bath.ʺ
ʺAnd then we'll come to supper. In the hall,ʺ he added, just in case I wasn't listening.
ʺButâʺ I said feebly. I was trying to think but what. Dag had already said that saying I was tired wasn't going to work.
ʺAnd you,ʺ Dag said over me, ʺyou two can come sit with us and keep off his admirers.ʺ
Midmorning the next day came way too soon. I'd still been pretty much starving at supper, so it wasn't too bad. The only people who gave me a hard time were the three I was sitting with. Doara and Chort came round to say ʺwell doneʺ and I got a few ʺheyʺs and ʺblue skies and clear horizonsʺ of my own and I tried not to show how much this pleased me. And a lot of people wanted to push Sippy's topknot back and check out the third eye. Which was fine with him. All attention is good attention. Even Fistagh nodded to both Dag and me: two nods, one eachâand his girl actually smiled.
We spent the night back in Dag's old room. Dag slept. I didn't. By breakfast I was too scaredâand tired: no jokeâto be hungry. Dag made me drink some blastweed, saying it would make me alert, but I didn't drink very much, because I was sure being this scared was going to make me need to pee all the time.
We went back upstairs for Dag to climb warily into a spotless new cadet uniform like it was a booby trap. It had been waiting on a peg outside the door when we got back to Dag's room after supper the night before, and he'd wordlessly pointed to the new stripe on the shoulder and chest. I'd seen it on the fourth-years' uniforms, so I said, ʺFirst Flight?ʺ and he nodded. This morning it seemed to glitter in the light but that was probably my eyes. I thought Dag's hands shook a little when he pinned his old badge and new bit of ribbon to it.
They'd found some clothes for me too. They were too large but they were a little more dignified than anything I'd brought with me. I didn't have dignified clothes. What would I ever need them for? At least they were dull, invisible-making colours. It didn't occur to me when I put them on that this would have the opposite effect, making me stand out among all the Academy uniforms.