FIRE (Elite Forces Series Book 2) (5 page)

Whoever is behind that knock on the door has the worst timing. There’s more to be said between the two of us. Kaleb needs to talk. He needs to tell me what he remembers. The mere idea of him having to relive the savage things done to him sends another sharp spear of anxiety that lies dormant in the center of my chest. I’ve worked out the details with my superior. Thank god, they don’t have me training or scheduling me for a mission as of yet. Our time off could be days or weeks at a time.  I do have to check in daily or report to work in other areas when I’m not deployed, but I was granted personal time off because of what I’ve been through in the past few weeks.

I’ve been sitting by his side for almost a week, talking and pleading with him to come back to me. Crying. Me, Jade Elliott, whose heart used to be hard as a block of ice until he brought his fire into my life and melted it.  I’ve cried more times in the past week than I can remember throughout my entire life.  All over this man I’m in love with.

Even though anxiety is consuming my body, I can honestly say I don’t feel the need to take a pill to calm me. Knowing Kaleb is safe is all I need. Love is the bond and the strength to get a person through anything, especially when it’s this obvious it’s mutual.

Love,
a word never on my radar, has now taken over my existence. My world revolves around this man.

I’m in love with him because of the deep connection I’ve felt with him from the second I laid eyes on him.  Dealing with the torture of this week has only intensified my feelings towards him.  My mind went crazy, thinking of everything he went through, as I examined all of the marks on his body.  I can tell he was whipped many times.  The wounds are starting to heal, but I’m afraid the surface scars will always be there.  And I don’t even want to think about the internal scars something like this would bring. 

I don’t care what he looks like or how much this will torment him.  He takes me and I take him just the way he is.  He’s been point blank about wanting me from the first day we met, and now it’s time I match his determination.  His blastoff introduction to have me on my knees that first day could’ve so easily gone a different way.  I’m just glad I felt the connection the second I laid eyes on him.

I shove these feelings aside as I make my way to the door. I swing it open, only to be swept off of my feet by Jackson.

“We heard the princess is awake.” He comes barreling in, followed by everyone else. I could laugh right now at the term Jackson used to address Kaleb, but I won’t. That’s Jackson’s story to tell.

“This princess is going to turn into an evil queen if you don’t get your filthy hands off of my woman. Now, motherfucker.”

I laugh. Right along with everyone else when they all stroll in with their big bodies, filling this small room to the brink where I actually smell testosterone over the bitter odor of the disinfectant I’ve been smelling for days.

“She’s a hell of a lot lighter than you are.” Placing me back down on the floor, Jackson winks then goes to Kaleb, who raises his brows in uncertainty.

“Man. You look a hell of a lot better than the last time we saw you.  You holding up okay?” Harris, my rock for the past few days, stretches out his arm to shake Kaleb’s hand. He takes it, and their eyes meet. Kaleb says thank you, while Harris replies with his welcome.

“I’m good. Ready to get the hell out of here.”

“We’ll make it happen. Before we go, brother, you need to fill us in. We need to know what the hell happened to you.  I’m not asking you to relive the hell they put you through. I’m asking if you know any of those motherfuckers.  You kept talking in your sleep, and we’re all trying to figure out what’s going on here.  Did they manage to break you and get any information?” It’s Kase who’s blunt and straight to the point.

“Do I look like they broke me?  I’m still alive, fuckers.  Of course, they didn’t break me.  I would’ve died first, and all of you know that.”

“We’ve got the President up our asses. These two have the Army up theirs. This is all kinds of fucked up.” He points to both Harris and I. I’m about ready to tell him to calm down. That Harris and I are fine with our commanding officers. Yes, they want us back, but they know we need to be ready before we go back in. 

This isn’t common behavior. We aren’t civilians like the rest of these guys. Our call of duty hasn’t been completed, but we're a team, and one of our men has been injured. Not to mention, he happens to be the man I love. The Army gets this, whether it’s right or wrong or even the proper way things are done. None of that matters. We’ve been briefed and our statements have been documented. This is our time. Our leave. We earned it.

What none of them know, though, not even Harris, is the minute I return, I’m going to do everything in my power to be put on this team for every mission from here on out. I’ve had too many days to dwell on this decision while staring into the blank, beaten face of the man I love. The only time I left here was to be briefed by a Sergeant Major from Lackland Air Force Base and shop for some damn clothes and necessities I needed until we get out of here.

My heart wants a life with Kaleb. After this and the killing of the boy in Afghanistan, I can’t worry about either one of us being away without the other. He’ll be thrilled about this; I know he will. Danger is part of this job. Worry will claw away at him, like it did me, if we're apart. He may be a hardass, but the man knows how hard I’ve worked for this. I deserve to be with Kaleb and he deserves to be with me. Everyone knows we work well together. The opposite is not in the cards for me. To have either one of us out in this world not knowing where the other one is will only tear us up every damn second. I’m not going through this again. I can’t.

I’ve proven my loyalty and dedication to my country. I’d lay my life down to protect it. I’ve earned the right to be heard and to make what I feel is one simple request. Just put me alongside Kaleb on special missions, where I can shine like the true sniper I’ve worked so hard to be. 

I know we’ll have to work hard at our relationship too.  I’m not an idiot.  Maverick is one difficult man, but I can be just as difficult.  Not to mention the kind of missions his team will go on, but it will keep me in the mix of doing what I love.  It’s actually a better fit for me.  Get in, fuck shit up, and then get out.  Short missions that need my expertise.  At least with this team, I’m not fighting against the Army’s rules about a female Ranger going out on an active mission.

Kaleb and I will fight, there’s no doubt about that, especially for control.  We will struggle, but the one thing we’ve never had an issue with is communicating with each other.  Both of us are outspoken, and we have no problem saying what’s on our mind. We tell each other the way it is, and there is no one I’d rather climb into a doghouse with after fighting. I’ve always thought the Army was my dream. The day I met Kaleb Maverick was the day I realized I want more out of my life. I want him in it every single day.

I snap out of my thoughts when Kaleb tries to adjust the bed himself. Frustration blows from his lips, only filling the room with more testosterone.

“Let me help.” I go to him and place my hand under his head while I push the button to slowly lift him into a higher sitting position. He hisses and swears like crazy, causing my heart to shatter.  I know he’s fighting the pain and is desperately trying to stay alert.  He has another thing coming if he thinks I’m going to stand here and watch him suffer. As soon as we're done here, he’s receiving more meds, even if it knocks him out for a few hours. After all, they think I’m his wife. Which we haven’t discussed either.

“Son of a bitch.” He catches his breath. Short gasps escape his mouth.

“Brother. We can do this later,” Steele says sympathetically.

“Fuck that. I’m good. I want this done. You may all want to park your asses on the floor before you fall.” He grabs my hand, tugging me down to sit on the side of the bed. Something is off with him. In a way I’ve never seen before. A mixture of hurt, pain, and disgust breaks across his handsome face.

With another tug, he draws me next to him on the bed. My fingers slip delicately around his. He’s scaring me. His hold on my fingers increases to the point of pain as he prepares himself to speak. It’s as if he needs me to be his anchor right now. I have no clue what’s rattling around in his head, but wonder if it’s memories or visions of his brutal attack.

Not even his strong fingers around mine prepare me for what he tells us.

“It was my brother Ty who did this to me.” His muscled stomach rises and falls through the thin cotton of the hospital gown after he speaks. He refuses to let me go. The need for me to look into his eyes weighs heavy on my heart. I do everything I can to hide my negative reaction to this news. This is killing him. With every breath he takes, I feel his heart thump harder and faster. I can’t imagine how he feels, what he’s thinking, or god, the heartache he must’ve felt to be abused, taunted, and have his heart tossed into a damn blender by someone who should love him.  This makes me sick.

And no wonder he hasn’t said a damn thing about this having to do with his brother. From what little he told me, he’s a drug user, who has never gotten his life together.  A sick excuse of a man, who has done nothing but bring heartache to his own mother and family.

“Jesus Christ. You have to be shitting me, man. That’s where he ran off to? It wasn’t enough he pumped every goddamn poison out there into his veins?  Is he selling the shit now too? And to top it off, he took this shit out on you? Is that what the hell is happening here? Fucking hell. I’m going to murder that lowlife motherfucker.” I jump as Pierce’s hatred escapes him, his jaw clenching tight as he paces the floor, wearing his anger on his face.

I’ve never seen him react to anything like this before. Not when Kaleb was taken from us. Not when we all saw him hanging from that tree. I don’t know the man well, but he does not strike me as the kind of guy to lose control. I can’t speak for fear I’m going to mesh my words with tears. Kaleb squeezes me harder.

How ironic the phrase ‘Life can change in a blink of an eye’ is. Life will gut you, spit you out, and leave you hanging on the edge of a cliff. Kaleb is dangling there right now. A moment ago, this room was filled with our outpouring of love for another. And now, it is filled with hatred for a man so evil that blood or not, he is not Kaleb’s brother. His true brothers are all in this room.

“Kaleb.” I push off the bed, using the strength in my feet, unable to look at him right now. Instead, I look to Harris, who looks almost defeated. All of them do as I scan their faces one by one. Someone needs to say something other than spitting angry words out. How the hell I’ve all of a sudden become the sensible one here beats me. I’m usually the hardass, the bitter bitch, but shit, we need to find out if we killed that asshole. If Kaleb’s brother is dead. I have to ask, whether it hurts him more or not.

“Does anyone know if he was one of the men we took out the other night?” I hate to be blunt, especially when I know that no matter what has happened in the past between Kaleb and his brother, he has to still love him. To have your own family try to kill you has to be one of the most devastating, emotional turmoils to have to deal with.

“I got the footage from when I scanned the area.  All of our recordings can be watched to see if we can locate him as one of the fuckers we killed.”  Pierce stands wider as I can see his thoughts running through his head.  He’s hungry for this to be the case.  I don’t know if I hope I shot him in his dick, or if he was the one who got the ass shot and then a bullet to his head.  Either way, I hope he’s gone. I hope he took a bullet through his black-as-coal heart.  Anyone who can do something like this to Kaleb should be dead and rotting in the farthest recess of hell, as far as I’m concerned.

“Great.  I was hoping to relive that moment over and fucking over.  Don’t get any bright ideas about teasing me about that shit.  I’ll repay your asses in a way that’ll make your dicks draw up and hide.”  Kaleb looks at all the guys before he begins to tell us everything he remembers. While I remain still, while anger and sadness pound away at my bleeding heart.

I can’t share every fucking detail that happened.  There’s no way I’m telling these guys, or hell, Jade for that matter, about the depth of the shit my brother put me through.  I pissed him off when I fought back and head butted him.  He was out for a few minutes. Then my life became hell.  I decided in that moment I wasn’t going to try that again unless I knew I could kill him. He beat me so bad I passed the hell out, never once waking up until I realized I was being saved.

I hold on tight to Jade’s hand. She’s tense and I hate this. This room is claustrophobic as fuck too. I’m in so much pain, it’s hard to breathe, but I’m working through the words that seem to be practically choking me, lodging themselves there, because, Christ, even though this shit happened to me, every damn thing I say will make each one of these men and the woman I love feel like it happened to them. I care too much to put them through a nightmare that will repeat itself in their heads. There’s no end. I’ll remember this shit for all eternity. It will be bad enough to witness seeing myself hanging lifeless. My nudity and busted-up body for everyone in this room to see will embed itself into the memories for the rest of their lives.

“I’m not sure where to start.  I mean, the fucker tortured me in ways I’ll never talk about.  Then my piece of shit brother rolled in and made it personal.  He threatened my mom, my sister, and tried to get me to react about Jade.”
Fuck.

The way Harris instantly stares me down in his big brother protective way makes me want to shove those last words back in my mouth.  I should’ve known he’d be on high alert when it comes to her.  I won’t let that bother me anymore, because honestly, knowing he was with her in Mexico calmed me.  I knew she was safe with him. 

“What the fuck?  How does he know about her?”  Harris is tense and in a fight stance as he responds to only the beginning of my story. If we hadn’t had our talk about my feelings for Jade and for the fact I know damn well something happened between him and Mallory by the way she fucked him with her eyes the night before I left his ranch, I would say he still wants her. Harris cares about her. They’ve been through a lot together, but she’s like family to him. Like my brothers here are to me. So I get why he’s protective of her.

“He was guessing.  I didn’t show any proof she’s fucked up my heart.”  She looks surprised that I’m sharing this with the guys, and I smile with as much enthusiasm as I can handle. She needs to loosen up. Besides, I’d love nothing more than to tease her and play all fucking night, but the truth of it is, I’m still fucking hurting.

“Watch out there, big guy, with talk like that, you’ll be married before you know it.”  Jackson steps in with his smartass Southern drawl.

“Who knows?  I could think of worse things, that's for sure.”  They all just stare at me like I've lost my mind.  That's okay, because I did out there. Jade hasn’t told me why the doctor called her Mrs. Maverick yet. My guess is, she had to with all the red tape that goes along with the privacy acts our country has. But I’m not concerned about that shit. They can call her any damn thing they want as long as it implies she’s mine.

“I listened to them talk and tried to make out as many words as I could.  They run guns and drugs.  My brother was the lead out there, but he answered to someone.  He made phone calls within hearing distance of me, I'm sure thinking I would never make it out of there alive.”  Her grip on my fingers tightens as I watch their reactions. 
Fuck, I don't want to talk about this shit.

“Somehow, he got in with the Mexican Cartel and worked his way up the ranks.  I'm thinking they must be trading guns for the transport and protection of Al-Quaren, and when we fucked that up, it fucked up their next row of shipments.”

I begin to recall a specific conversation from one of the lost days out there.  “He was getting his ass chewed about it and tried to talk himself out of some deep shit with whomever he works under.”

Shit, that feels like an hour ago, but it’s nearly been a week.  I move my arm to adjust my body and am reminded of the soreness.  I'm very aware the pain meds are wearing off.  Thank fuck they knocked me out when they moved me, because I don't know how I could've coped with it coherent.

“So, we fucked up his little life by kidnapping the piece of shit we captured.  I see how this pissed him off.  Why does that make me want to fucking smile?”  Bullet knows the shit my brother has done in the past.  Hell, he was around when it went from bad to worse with Ty and my mom.  He was the one who helped protect my sister when I knew that fucking brother of mine would hurt her just to get to me.

“That we did.  He told me that himself.  He was pushing for the location of Al-Quaren. That's all he cared about.”  The tap on the door stops me mid-thought.  A hot little nurse walks in, and I feel the tension in the room grow.  Shit, these assholes are going to make her life hell for the three minutes she’ll be in here.

“I need to get your vitals and check your chart.  It's time for your meds again.”  She walks in innocently, and they all part to clear a path for her to reach me before they circle her back in.  With the way their eyes are bulging out of their heads, you’d think they’ve gone a year without pussy.

Jackson will be the first to flirt.  That's how he works.  Shit, I have never been happier in my life, anticipating what these guys are going to do. I could use a good laugh.

“You going to need him to turn his head and cough?  I think you should check everywhere. Make him bend over.”  She smiles like she's never been harassed before as Jackson’s deep voice fills the room.

“Not today.  I think we’re going to let him rest.” Thank fuck for that. I’m sure my cock has been handled by several women while I was out. Not the one I desperately want to be handling it though. The fucker twitches at the mere thought of Jade’s mouth wrapped around him.
This is not the damn time to decide you’re in functioning order,
DICK.  I have Jackson’s next words spilling out of his arrogant, mouthy ass to thank for pulling my mind away from my own dick.

“Great.  You know, I think I need someone to examine me.  Maybe play a little nurse and check my heart rate under stress.”  He crosses his arms and stands proud.  She watches me as she gets near and glances at Jade with a slight grin on her face before she listens to my chest through her stethoscope.

“I can arrange that.  Nurse Rocko will be in shortly and has some free space in his wing.”  Her brows rise when she speaks, and I can see on her face that she likes him.  Well, shit hasn't changed around here.  He's not called ‘Action Jackson’ for nothing. Even though I know the real reason why he’s called that, I’ll keep it to the down low, for now.  Talk like that would never work for me.  Hell, Jade would truly have my ass examined by the guy with the biggest fucking hands in the hospital just to prove a point.  The nurse hands me my pills and a cup of water. Against what my mind is telling me, I swallow them down, knowing my body has been through enough. I need to rest and let my body heal.

“Fuck that Rocko nurse.  I'll wait until you're off shift.  I'd feel better keeping this private and use Maverick’s nursing staff, since this was such a dangerous mission and all.”  She smiles at him as she passes and hands him the piece of paper she scribbled on. Her number, no doubt.  I'm sure he just got the time and place too.  She leaves the room and we all bust out laughing at him. That asshole is smooth. How women fall for that shit is beyond me.

“Jackson, seriously.  Is that your pickup style?  Because if so, I'd kick your ass.”  Jade stands beside me and stretches her arms over her head.  I watch her tits as she does and wish like hell I could actually appreciate them properly.

“It fucking worked.”  He holds up the paper.  “Darlin’, it's my voice.  I could say any fucking thing I want and panties just drop.  They love how deep it is.” Then he gyrates his hips forward, thrusting the air a few times.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Steele grabs his stomach playfully.

“I am sick,” Harris digs in. The room fills with laughter and I can’t help but join in. That is, until a sharp pain has me wanting to roll over in a fetal position.  Fuck.  As much as I want to be better, I’m still fucked up.

“Kaleb.” Jade’s worried expression calms me, knowing how much she cares. I hate the fact I’m lying here, helpless, unable to do a damn thing. I’d love nothing more than to run my fingers across her furrowed forehead and ease the ache I know she’s feeling inside. God. I love her. After my first taste of her, I told myself she would be the one to break me. She has.