Fire (71 page)

Grandpa lowers his crossword magazine and peers at her over his reading glasses.

‘Has somebody died, sweetheart?’ he asks anxiously.

‘Yes, a friend of mine. Her funeral is today.’

She has already told him about Ida, but apparently he doesn’t remember.

‘How are you, Grandpa?’

He waves the question away with his thin hand and says something in Finnish.

‘Nothing new to report from this place,’ he continues. ‘Tell me about you instead.’

Anna-Karin has begun to investigate the forest again. Something inside her is urging her to go there. She has been drifting around with the fox at her side, searching for something without knowing what it is.

But she doesn’t tell her Grandpa about that bit. Instead, she speaks about the signs of spring that she has noticed in the forest. And he smiles.

‘And how is Mia doing?’ he asks later on. ‘It’s been a long time since she came to see me last.’

Anna-Karin’s chest is constricting hard. She would rather not talk about her mum.

‘Everything’s just as usual with her,’ Anna-Karin says. ‘Somehow she never changes.’

‘Do you think she can?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe, sometimes. Most often when I’m not with her. If I’m walking in the forest, I tell myself that I ought to take her out for a walk to show her how lovely it is. But then I get back home and she’s just sitting there. And I
realise it’s not even worth asking her,’ Anna-Karin says. ‘Do you think she can change?’

‘I’m not sure,’ Grandpa says. ‘The thing is, she’s got to want to, herself. And be brave enough to ask for help.’

Anna-Karin nods.

‘And now I’m asking myself if you’d be brave enough to,’ Grandpa says.

He takes his reading glasses off and looks intently at her.

‘What do you mean?’ Anna-Karin says.

‘Be brave enough to ask for help.’

‘I have you, Grandpa.’

‘That you have. For as long as I last. But I believe you’ll need more than that. Perhaps you can’t help your mother, but you can still help yourself. You don’t have to carry all these heavy burdens alone.’

‘Are you saying that … I should kind of talk to someone?’

Grandpa nods.

‘I love Mia. And I have often thought about what I might have done differently. How much I am to blame for who she is. But, Anna-Karin, you do not have to end up the same way. You are not the way she is. And you are not responsible for saving her.’

Suddenly, Anna-Karin sees that she has been thinking just like her mum. That this is simply who she
is
. That pain is something you have to drag along, always, something you can never get away from.

But perhaps that’s not how it has to be.

She looks at her grandpa.

Say goodbye when you can
, Mona had said.
There’s still time. Use it well.

‘I love you, Grandpa,’ she says.

‘And I love you, my sweetheart.’

Anna-Karin gets up.

‘I’ve got to go now. But I’ll be back to see you tomorrow.’

‘I hope your friend will be given a good funeral,’ Grandpa says. ‘I shall be thinking about you all.’

Minoo hasn’t worn this black dress since Rebecka’s funeral. She hopes that she will never, ever have to wear it again.

She zips it up at the back. Sits down on the bed and pulls out the drawer in her bedside table. Takes out the
Book of Patterns
. Her finger glides over the leather binding, across the circles embossed on the front cover.

The guardians have started to speak to her again through the book. Only to her, not to any of the other Chosen Ones.

They have told her that Olivia’s magic murders made the apocalypse come closer than intended. Had she succeeded in sacrificing everyone in the gym, the end of the world would already have taken place.

Now, they have bought themselves some time. The question is, for how long?

And, of course, what have the demons got planned next?

Minoo opens the book and allows the black smoke to well out while she leafs through the pages.

She asks her question again. It will not leave her in peace; it keeps her awake at night.

If I had not gone to Adriana, could I have saved Ida?

The signs tremble on the pages, but the guardians stay silent.

Minoo closes the book.

Perhaps there is no answer.

Minoo walks downstairs to the kitchen. Mum and Dad look up when she comes in. They are sitting at the kitchen table, having coffee and reading a newspaper each. Everything is back to how it used to be. Except that Mum is returning to Stockholm in a few days’ time.

Mum gets up and hugs Minoo.

‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like us to come along?’ she asks.

Minoo nods. At least she won’t be alone at this funeral. The other Chosen Ones will be there. And Gustaf is on his way here to pick her up.

‘But I’m so glad that you’ll be here when I come back,’ Minoo says.

Mum strokes her hair.

She came as soon as she heard about the fire at the
Engelsfors Herald
office. Since then, she and Dad have been amazingly nice to each other. Sometimes they’ve even seemed in love, with the energy sparking between them that Gustaf had talked about last summer.

Of course, it’s helpful that Dad is taking it easier these days. The
Herald
has borrowed a room at the editorial office of the
Fagersta Gazette
and Dad’s articles about how PE took over the area have been given a lot of attention in the national press. Since then, the story has taken on a life of its own. The whole narrative about the rise and fall of Positive Engelsfors has everything one could ask of a juicy media story. Corruption, brainwashing, misguided teenagers, attacks against the local paper and, to cap it all, that strange accident that killed the leaders of the movement. Even last year’s ‘suicide pact’ has been added to the mix. Was what happened in the gym a botched attempt at inducing a mass suicide? Or even a mass murder? Why does everyone who was there claim to remember nothing at all?

Dad moans about all the over-the-top speculation, but it is obvious that he is, above all, pleased to be believed at last.

Minoo hopes that it might also be Mum’s presence that helps to calm him. Maybe they have both gained some insights since moving apart.

The doorbell sounds and Minoo goes to answer it.

Gustaf is taken aback when he sees the dress. He obviously recognises it. And he is wearing the same suit as the day when Rebecka was buried.

‘Are you ready?’ he asks.

She nods, puts on her coat and picks up the bunch of roses from the hall table.

As she and Gustaf step out into the sunshine together, his hand happens to touch hers.

They both simultaneously move their hands away. He is just a friend, she tells herself.

They walk along, silent at first. The birds are singing and she spots a blue tit flying past as she looks up at the sky.

‘I went to see Rickard yesterday,’ Gustaf says.

Rickard is the only one of the PE membership who has suffered any physical damage since the end of the movement. He was controlled by Olivia for so long, and so frequently, that his body, too, was beginning to break down. He has been hospitalised ever since. The doctors are baffled. They cannot diagnose what is wrong with him.

‘How’s he feeling?’ Minoo asks.

‘So-so,’ Gustaf says. ‘His body has begun to recover. But he’s depressed.’

Minoo nods. She feels sorry for Rickard. She wonders why he was the only one to be selected as Olivia’s tool.

They have reached the tree-lined avenue that leads to the church.

‘I’ve thought about what you said about Ida that night when I came to see you,’ Gustaf says. ‘You said that she was trying to become a better human being. I think you were right.’

A searing feeling runs through Minoo when she thinks of how Ida died in Gustaf’s arms while he was giving her
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. She will never forget that moment. But she has seen to it that Gustaf has.

‘What are you thinking about?’ Gustaf asks.

‘Nothing special,’ she says.

But she knows that she cannot carry on lying to Gustaf like this. It is unfair to him.

At some point, she has to tell him the truth. She can’t think how, or when, but she must. He has every right to know what really happened when Rebecka died. He should be allowed to know that Ida is the hero of the story. He deserves to know how the world works and what is at stake.

Come to think of it, doesn’t everyone deserve to know?

The Council insists that the world of magic must remain secret from the rest of mankind. But why restrict the truth to just a select few?

The gravel crunches under their feet as they walk along the path leading to the church doors.

Linnéa, Anna-Karin and Vanessa are waiting at the steps.

Minoo goes to them and they all hug each other. She hands out the roses. Six white ones. Four from the Chosen Ones and one from Gustaf. The sixth is from Nicolaus. Minoo knows he would have wanted that.

She looks up and sees Viktor come strolling along with his hands in his coat pockets. He tries to catch her eye. She avoids him and he enters the church without saying a word as he passes them.

He phoned Minoo a few days after Ida’s death. He was parked outside their house and Minoo came out to sit in the car.

‘Adriana has been cleared,’ Viktor told her. ‘It all went through faster than I’d dared to hope.’

‘How is she?’ Minoo said.

‘Still confused. But our doctors have provided her with a
diagnosis that explains her loss of memory. So she has something to hang on to. She’ll pull through.’

Hearing him say this was a slight relief. But at the same time, Minoo wondered how much the Council’s doctors could actually know in this situation.

‘Will she be staying here?’

‘For the time being, yes,’ Viktor said. ‘And so will we.’

She turned to look at him. He was fiddling with the indicator stalk. Avoiding meeting her eyes.

‘Why?’ she said. ‘I thought you’d made up your minds once and for all that everything you’d heard about Engelsfors was a bluff.’

Viktor didn’t reply.

‘What do you make of it?’ Minoo asked. ‘Do you believe that we are the Chosen Ones?’

‘What I do think is that you are very special, Minoo,’ he said and smiled.

Suddenly, it was as if the old Viktor sat next to her. The smart operator who tried to charm her.

‘Come off it,’ Minoo said.

His smile faded.

‘What have you done with Olivia?’ she said.

‘It’s a matter I cannot discuss with an outsider.’

‘So, what about everything you said about the Council?’ she said.

‘I stand by what I said. But if I am to change them, I have to play by their rules as much as I can.’

‘In other words, you’re obeying their orders again?’

Viktor looks sadly at her.

‘I don’t understand how someone as intelligent as you can be so naive at the same time,’ he said. ‘To you, everything is straightforward. Right or wrong, good or bad. But it is the goal that matters, not the route you choose to get there.’

‘Are you saying that the ends justify the means?’ Minoo said.

‘If that’s how you prefer to put it. Yes, absolutely.’

‘You’re wrong.’

‘Am I? Consider what you did to Adriana. Would you truly call that intervention
good
? Removing her memories, and turning her into someone she’d rather not be?’

‘But I did it so that she would survive …’

‘Exactly,’ Viktor said.

Ever since, his words have pursued her. And if she is sure of one thing, ever, it is this: she will never trust Viktor Ehrenskiöld again.

‘Minoo,’ Linnéa says now and tugs at the sleeve of her coat.

Further down the path, Erik walks with his arm around Julia.

‘How does he dare show his face here?’ Vanessa mumbles. ‘How come he’s allowed to sodding exist?’

Because that’s how it all works, Minoo thinks. There is no cosmic justice. No ‘Let the punishment fit the crime’. People like Erik can and will forge on in life, regardless of what they’ve done. Maybe he sleeps badly at night. Or maybe he sleeps just fine.

The Chosen Ones watch him in silence. He notices, but refuses to look in their direction. Refuses, or does not dare to. The latter, Minoo hopes. And, although she knows this is not how the world is and although she knows that revenge solves nothing, she wants Erik to have to pay for what he has done.

Or, at least, not to be able to harm anybody again.

They wait until Erik and Julia have disappeared through the church doorway.

Then they look at each other.

Time to go inside.

Time to say goodbye.

She looks upwards, at the ceiling of the church. It is arching so high above her head she becomes quite dizzy thinking about the people who once crept about up there and built it, hundreds of years ago.

Behind the altar, they have hung an enormous oil painting showing the crucified Christ. His sad eyes are looking up at a dramatic sky.

So many people in here. All dressed in black.

Linnéa and Vanessa come walking up the central aisle. They are carrying one white rose each. They meet nobody’s eyes and slip into an empty pew in the middle of the church. Linnéa is just about unrecognisable. She looks almost normal. She is wearing a simple black dress and her face is free of make-up.

After them, Minoo and Anna-Karin, also carrying one rose each. Anna-Karin has put on the same suit she wore at the trial.

But then, at the trial, it was Vanessa who was Anna-Karin. Surely?

It is hard to gather your thoughts when you’re dreaming. You simply can’t trust anything. Sometimes, you remember things that haven’t even happened, or are memories of a dream you have dreamed earlier.

And then, there is Gustaf.

She runs along to meet him, follows him down the aisle.

‘Where did you go afterwards?’ she says. ‘You vanished. Or, was it me who vanished? I can’t remember.’

But he doesn’t seem to hear her. He sits down silently, next to Minoo and the others. It is almost as if he is one of the Chosen Ones.