Fire and Rain (36 page)

Laura jumped up to hug her. “Oh, Mia,” she said, “you’re the best!”

Mia stepped back to study her sister’s face. Laura’s eyes were puffy and red, the diminutive bulb of her nose a little swollen. Yet she was still pretty, her silky eyelashes glistening with tears. Mia put her arm around her. “Well,” she said, “let me show you my little home.”

Laura wiped her cheeks with the backs of her hands, the tissue by now useless. “Can we get my suitcase first?”

“All right.”

They walked to the driveway where Laura’s silver Mazda stood next to Mia’s green Rabbit. Laura opened the passenger door of the car and lifted a small beige-and-mauve floral suitcase from the seat.

Walking back toward the cottage, Laura seemed to notice Sugarbush—its vastness, its primitiveness—for the first time. “Could you get any farther from civilization, Mimi?” she asked. “This is nowhere. It’s so wild. I can’t believe you’re actually living alone out here. Aren’t you terrified at night?”

“Not at all.” Mia felt an unfamiliar surge of superiority over her sister.

“Are there any malls around here? I want to take you shopping. I want to buy you things.”

“Not too close.”

By the time they reached the cottage, Laura was crying again. It gave Mia an opportunity to move the bulletin board and Jeff’s pictures into her closet. The last thing Jeff had said to her before getting off the phone was, “If it’s possible to keep Laura from figuring out that I’m Valle Rosa’s so-called mystery man, I’d appreciate it.”

She and Laura spent much of the day talking, but there was little give-and-take in their conversation. Laura tried. Mia could see her struggling to find things to say about the finished sculpture of Henry, and the work in progress of Jeff, and the massive wire armature for the fountain standing in the corner of the cluttered dining room. But the effort was simply too much for her. Laura was clearly obsessed with her loss and able to talk about little other than Glen. She moved through the rooms of the cottage in slow motion, a perpetual frown on her face broken only by sudden, intractable spells of weeping.

Mia managed to drag her into town for lunch, and then for a walk through the canyon, which Laura didn’t enjoy, especially after Mia mentioned the coyotes. But Mia was more relaxed with her sister outside the cottage. Inside, Laura was an overwhelming presence. She filled the rooms with the scent of expensive perfume. Her white shorts and peach-colored blouse were pressed and perfect, her nails carefully shaped and polished a deep coral. Her long hair was streaked with pale blond, and she glittered with gold rings and bracelets. Every movement of her hands sent a blur of gold through the air.

Several times during the day, she checked her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “God, look at my eyes” she would say. “They’re so swollen and red. I look hideous. And I’m
thirty
. Why couldn’t he have left me when I was still twenty-nine?”

Late in the afternoon, they sat in the living room drinking white wine. Soon Mia would have to tell her sister that Jeff would be joining them for dinner, and she was trying to figure out how she would describe him, how she would define his presence in her life.

Laura suddenly interrupted her thoughts. “Do you know how guilty I felt during those years when you were taking care of Mom and I was at school?” she asked.

Mia raised her eyebrows. “No,” she said. “I didn’t know.”

Laura groaned. “I look back now and I can’t believe how selfish I was. I can’t believe I let you do all that without lifting a finger to help you.”

Mia stared into her wine, her cheeks hot. She simply didn’t feel ready to forgive her sister for any of her transgressions. “It’s in the past,” she said. It was the most she could manage.

“You’re so lucky, Mia.” Laura shook her head.

“I am?”

“You always knew what you wanted, from the time you were small. You wanted to be an artist, and you went ahead and did it. I’m very proud of you. When I saw that piece you did of Mom in the Lesser Gallery, I cried.”

Mia was surprised. “Thanks.”

“Everyone who ever met you liked you.”

Mia frowned. “You’re a fine one to talk. You were always the most popular kid in school.”

“Yeah, but they liked me because I was pretty. They liked you because of who you were.”

“Hmm.” Mia guessed that was supposed to be a compliment.

Laura was quiet for a moment, taking a few delicate sips from her wine glass. “Do you still see Dr. Bella?” she asked finally, her eyes huge over the rim of the glass.

“When I have to.” Mia looked directly at her sister. “You’re examining yourself, Laura, aren’t you?”

“Constantly. I feel like a time bomb, like there’s no way I can escape it.” She swirled the wine in her glass and didn’t look at Mia when she spoke again. “I think that was the real reason Glen left me. He was afraid it would happen to me too. He wanted to get out while I was still… intact.”

“He said that?”

“No. But I’m sure that’s what he was thinking.” Laura grimaced. “I couldn’t handle it if it happened to me, Mia. You’re much stronger than I am. And you never cared much about how you looked or anything. But for me, it would be the end.”

“No, it wouldn’t. You’d be all right.”

“I can’t stand talking about it.” Laura shuddered. “I can’t stand thinking it could ever happen to me.” She leaned forward. “Listen, Mimi, after you get the reconstruction, we can go out. Like sisters. I want us to be friends. We can do the singles scene together.”

Mia felt an old sick feeling inside her. She remembered too well what it was like to be out socially with Laura, how invisible she felt. “I don’t have much interest in the singles scene,” she said.

“Yeah, and that’s always been your problem. We’ll get you dating again. Both of us. It’ll be fun.”

“I’m dating now.”

“What?” Laura nearly spilled her wine. “Who?”

“A man who lives in one of the other cottages.”

Laura looked as though this news was too much to be believed. “You
are
? Are you just friends, or… how serious? I mean… does he know about your breast?”

“Yes. And he doesn’t care.”

Laura slouched down in the sofa. “God,” she said, “Glen was a pig.”

“He’s coming over for dinner tonight. The man I’m seeing.”

“He is? What time? We should straighten up this place.”

Mia laughed. “He’s not that kind of man.”

LAURA CHECKED HERSELF IN
the mirror more frequently as the hour neared for Jeff’s arrival. She was helping Mia cut vegetables in the kitchen, when every once in a while she would disappear from the room. In a moment, Mia would hear the click of her sister’s shoes on the tiled bathroom floor.

Jeff knocked on the door while Mia was stir-frying the vegetables.

“Would you get it, Laura?” she asked, and she clutched the spatula in her hand as if she expected the next few minutes to turn her world upside down.

She heard Laura and Jeff exchange greetings. Jeff said something she couldn’t quite make out. Laura laughed in response, and Mia dug at the vegetables in her wok with a new vengeance, annoyed with herself for her lack of faith in Jeff.

“Hi.” He walked into the kitchen, Laura close on his heels. He had showered. He smelled of soap and shampoo, and his hair was still damp. He wore khaki pants, a gray-and-blue striped shirt open at the neck, a brown braided leather belt. She wished he didn’t look quite so beautiful.

She pretended to be absorbed in her work on the stove when he bent over to kiss her cheek.

“Brought some wine.” He slipped the bottle between her eyes and the wok. “Want me to open it?”

“That’d be great,” Mia said. Her cheeks felt hot.

There was a different sort of energy coming from Laura with Jeff in the cottage. Her scent seemed to overshadow the aroma of Mia’s cooking. Where she had been mopey and weepy throughout much of the day, now she glowed and glittered, her smile radiant.

Mia felt herself sinking down. Disappearing.

“That’s my favorite wine,” Laura said as Jeff pulled the cork from the neck of the bottle. “You have great taste.”

“Thanks.” He poured them each a glass, then rested a hand on Mia’s back. “What can we do to help?”

“Everything’s under control.” She glanced up at him. “Just keep me company, okay?”

“So, Jeff.” Laura leaned back against the counter. “What kind of work do you do?”

“Engineering.” Jeff answered quickly, and Mia knew he had rehearsed this. “I work for Valle Rosa’s water conservation program.”

“Oh, that sounds interesting. Isn’t this where that rainmaker guy is? Have you met him?”

Jeff reached into the cabinet above Mia’s head for the napkins. “Once or twice,” he said.

“How does he do it?”

Jeff shrugged, setting the napkins on a tray. “He’s very secretive.”

“Well, I saw the film of that so-called rain on TV.” Laura rested her glass on the counter and folded her arms beneath her ample breasts. “It looked fake to me.”

“I thought so, too,” Jeff said. “The way those clouds were boiling up like that. I’ve never seen anything like that outside of the movies.” He reached into the wok and plucked out a pea pod, slipping it into his mouth. “So, Laura,” he asked, “how long are you staying?”

“Just till tomorrow. I was hoping maybe I could take Mia shopping before I leave, though. My little baby sister.” Laura put her arm around Mia, and Mia could feel the awkwardness in the gesture. “How close is the nearest mall?”

“Escondido,” Mia said.

“Well, that’s not too terrible, and I don’t mind driving. And I’m buying—I’m sure I’m making more money than you are. You could use some new clothes, Mimi. I remember that skirt you’re wearing from when you were in school, for heaven’s sake.”

“It’s very comfortable,” Mia said. Laura was right, though. The skirt was at least a decade old.

“Maybe, but nobody wears long skirts like that anymore.”

“Your sister sets her own trends,” Jeff said to Laura.

“Wouldn’t it be fun to go to one of those make-over places where they take glamorous pictures of you?” Laura asked. “I think—now that I’m thirty—I should make some changes in my makeup or something. And you could get the works, Mimi. Wouldn’t she look great in bangs, Jeff?”

“I think she looks great just as she is,” Jeff answered gallantly.

Mia rolled her eyes above the wok, hoping neither of them could see her. “This is done,” she said, pulling a bowl close to the stove.

“Let me help you with it.” Jeff lifted the wok and tipped it toward the bowl while she scraped out the vegetables. “Smells good,” he said.

They carried the vegetables and rice and salad into the dining room. Mia was quiet while they ate, focusing her attention on her food while Jeff and Laura talked about Valle Rosa and about Laura’s promotion to senior sportswear buyer at the large department store where she worked. It wasn’t until they were halfway through the meal that Mia let herself study Jeff. She watched as he spoke to her sister. She watched his hands as he ate, thinking of the ways he had touched her with those hands, thinking about the taste of the skin on his neck, the scent of his hair. She remembered sitting with him on her porch the other night, after his nightmare. She remembered how he had clutched her arm, how he’d let her know he wanted her there.
Needed
her there.

He poured more wine for Laura, and he smiled at hef as he handed her the glass, but Mia could see there was something missing in his smile. An emptiness. A shallowness she hadn’t seen in him before, and she realized all at once that he didn’t like Laura. It was a shock. A revelation. A relief. He didn’t like Laura at all.

After dinner he joined Mia in the kitchen, setting mugs and teaspoons on a tray while she made coffee. She dropped the paper filter, and he bent down to pick it up. When he straightened again, he drew his hand under the front of her skirt, slipping his fingers under the top of her panties to rest his hand there, flat against her stomach. She sucked in her breath, and he leaned close to her neck. “I happen to be fond of this old skirt of yours and the easy accessibility it provides.”

She turned her head to muffle a laugh in his cheek.

“I’m going to miss you very much tonight,” he continued. “And furthermore, your sister’s a grade-A bitch. My apologies for talking you into letting her stay.” He withdrew his hand then and left the room, carrying the tray.

“So,” Laura said, when each of them had a mug of coffee in front of them, “did Mia tell you I’ve been given the deep-six by my boyfriend?”

Jeff nodded, glancing at Mia. “Yes, she did,” he said. “Glen, right? He used to be Mia’s old boyfriend?”

“Uh huh. He’s an artist. He’s made an art out of ditching Tanner women.” Laura’s eyes filled, and Mia knew she’d reached her limit on being able to talk about anything other than Glen. It was going to be a repeat performance of the previous year, when she’d talked obsessively about her break-up with Luke. Laura and her men. She couldn’t exist apart from them.

Laura dabbed at her eyes with her napkin. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I just don’t understand him. Can you explain men to me, Jeff? I mean, he was totally in love with me and then wham, he’s gone.”

“I don’t think unpredictability is a uniquely male trait,” Jeff said.

“But to ditch me, out of the blue!”

“It’s no different than what he did to me,” Mia said quietly.

Laura lifted her mug to her lips. “At least in your case you can make some sort of sense out of it, with the mastectomy and all.” She took a swallow of her coffee. “But with me… I just don’t get what he had to complain about.”

Jeff stood up suddenly. He pushed in his chair and rested his hands on its old wicker back. “Well, Laura,” he said, “maybe it was your incredible lack of tact that drove him away.”

Laura stopped her mug mid-air. “What do you mean?”

Jeff looked her squarely in the eye. “Or maybe you were as insensitive to him as you are to your sister.”

Laura looked stunned. Her mouth was open in a little U-shape, her eyes disbelieving. Mia felt Jeff’s hands on her shoulders as he bent down to kiss her on the neck.

“I love you,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”