Read Fire and Desire (Arabesque) Online
Authors: Brenda Jackson
Until the day the last breath left his body he would love her. But in defeat, he acknowledged the fact that he would never have her. He knew that because of what he had done to her, and what he had taken away from her, the best thing to do was to give her up and walk away. For the rest of his life, his punishment would be to forever love a woman he would never have.
He closed his eyes briefly before looking back down at her. His heart felt heavy, and overflowed with the love he felt for her. He could no longer hold back saying the words to her. He
had
to say them to her, but this time he would say them in English. He had spoken them to her in Portuguese, when he’d been making love to her, knowing she hadn’t understood what he was saying.
He reached down and lifted her chin with his fingers, waking her. When she looked up at him with sleep-filled eyes, he leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips.
“I love you,” he whispered softly, quietly, intently.
She smiled faintly at him before drifting back off to sleep.
It was completely dark when the aircraft landed on the military base in Key West, Florida. Corinthians was still sleeping.
When the plane came to a complete standstill, unlike the others on board, Trevor didn’t move. For just a little while longer, he just wanted to sit and hold her in his arms.
“Trevor, it’s time to go.”
Trevor’s breath caught in his throat upon hearing the words Ashton directed at him. “All right. Just give me a minute,” he responded quietly.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ashton eyeing him closely. “You okay, man?” Ashton asked with deep concern in his voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Ashton nodded then hesitated for a brief moment before turning to depart the plane along with the other military men onboard.
Through the aircraft’s window Trevor saw a white military limo pull up beside the plane. A man he knew was probably Joshua Avery got out, along with a tall, broad-shouldered and powerfully built older man. There was something about him that conveyed his ability to inspire confidence and garner respect. In the bright lights lining the runway, Trevor was able to note some similarities in the older man’s features to that of the woman he held in his arms. He quickly reached the conclusion that the man with Senator Avery was none other than Corinthians’s father.
A part of Trevor inwardly applauded Joshua Avery’s decision to have them flown here instead of being taken back to the embassy. Although he was sure the senator had done it for his own self-serving purpose, it had proven to be a rather good move. No doubt there were reporters waiting for them to arrive back at the embassy, but there were no reporters here. There would be no questions to answer, no speculations to defend and no explanations to give.
There were only goodbyes left to be said.
Knowing he could not delay getting off the plane any longer, Trevor unfastened the shoulder harness and seat belt from around them. Corinthians stirred in his arms and snuggled closer to his chest, turning her face into the curve of his neck as she continued to sleep. He stood with her in his arms and slowly began walking toward the front of the plane.
Trevor stood in the plane’s doorway and looked down at the small group of men gathered below before descending the plane with a sleeping Corinthians still cradled in his arms.
He was sure he could give credit to the dark, hard stare he gave Joshua Avery that kept the senator from coming forward to take Corinthians from him. He watched as Corinthians’s father walked toward him. When the older man came to a stop directly in front of him, he gazed into the other man’s eyes and read deep relief and sincere appreciation in their depths. The man then glanced down at Corinthians, and Trevor read both love and joy in his eyes. He then looked up and met Trevor’s intense gaze. “Thank you for keeping my daughter safe and bringing her back home to me, Mr. Grant.”
Trevor tried to say something and couldn’t. He glanced down at Corinthians. “She’s been out like a light for quite a while,” he finally felt compelled to say to the man who had fathered the woman he loved. “She’s been a real trooper, sir. You would have been proud of her.”
The older man nodded, but said nothing. He continued to look at Trevor intently.
“The last twenty-four hours were pretty hard on her. She deserves as much rest as she can get and will probably sleep throughout the night,” Trevor added, not understanding why he found it necessary to ramble.
“Thank you for letting me know that,” was Reverend Nathan Avery’s soft reply.
Trevor nodded. Then he gently transferred a sleeping Corinthians into her father’s arms. He felt he was losing a part of himself in the process.
Trevor blinked several times before meeting the man’s gaze again. “Take care of her,” he whispered hoarsely to the man.
“With God’s help I will, Mr. Grant. And I pray God will continue to take care of you, as well.”
Trevor nodded and without saying any more words, he turned and slowly began walking away into the darkness.
“W
ould you care to explain what the devil went on back there, Trevor?”
Trevor released a long, deep sigh as he turned around to stare into Ashton’s face. He should have known his friend would follow him inside the terminal with questions. Trevor’s dark eyes narrowed slightly. He didn’t care what questions Ashton had, he was in no mood to answer them.
“Nothing went on,” he replied curtly. He watched as Ashton rolled his eyes and knew his response had not been good enough.
Ashton shook his head slowly before saying. “I know what I saw back there, man. It’s plain to see you care a lot for Corinthians Avery. Why did you just give her up?”
“Is that what I was doing?”
“Looked that way to me.”
Trevor let out a frustrated sigh as Ashton’s statement slashed into him. He jammed his hands into his pockets and continued to meet Ashton’s gaze. “You can’t give up what you never had. She was never mine to begin with. I was the wrong man from the very beginning. She’s in love with someone else.” He didn’t add that the man she was in love with was a man he considered as a brother.
Ashton’s brow lifted, surprised at what Trevor had said. As far as he was concerned, there was no way Corinthians Avery was not in love with Trevor. He had seen the way she had looked at him. It was clear as glass that Trevor was the man who owned her heart.
“Well, I happen to see things differently,” Ashton said slowly, wondering how two people could be in love with each other without the other knowing it. “I don’t know what went on between you two before I arrived, but from what I can see, she
is
yours in every way a woman can belong to a man. I’ve never seen you display that much care and concern toward any woman before.”
Trevor closed his eyes and lowered his head, fighting the pain he felt in his heart. Moments later when he opened his eyes and lifted his head, his gaze clearly showed the torment he felt. “I hurt her, Ashton.” His deep voice shook with raw emotion.
Ashton frowned. “I don’t know about all that, but I do know she’s going to be hurt even more when she wakes up and finds you gone without having told her goodbye.”
“It’s better this way. Corinthians and I need time to put things back in perspective. Our paths will cross again since she works for Remington Oil,” he said.
And hopefully when I do see her again, I’ll be prepared for the pain,
he thought further.
With a heavy heart he walked across the room to gaze out of the huge window overlooking the runway. Only a few military personnel were still out there. Against his will, his eyes moved to the spot where the white limo had been parked moments earlier. It was gone.
“There’s an old Indian saying my father shared with me on my sixteenth birthday,” Ashton was saying behind him.
“What is it?” Trevor asked as he leaned over and pressed his forehead against his hand on the window.
“He said there are two things a man should never give up—his land and his woman. At least not without a fight. Tonight I saw you give up your woman, Trevor. And you gave her up without a fight.”
Corinthians was in a state of deep sleep. She was completely drained of energy from her vigorous lovemaking with Trevor, combined with her lack of sleep the night before. She snuggled closer into the arms wrapped gently around her.
“Trevor.” In sleep, the name was whispered like a soft caress from her lips as she continued to replay her dream over and over in her mind. In her dream, Trevor had told her that he loved her. “I love you, too,” was her quiet, sleepy reply as she cuddled closer into the arms holding her.
The Reverend Nathan Avery pursed his lips thoughtfully after hearing his daughter’s whispered declaration of affection for Trevor Grant. He was glad Joshua had gotten out of the car moments earlier to clear their departure at the gate. Joshua was the last person who should be privy to his sister’s subconscious thoughts and inner feelings.
He gazed down at his daughter as she slept peacefully in his arms. So that’s the way it was, he thought as he continued to gaze down at her. Physically she looked fine, but he had a feeling that there were scars he could not see. Scars of the heart.
As he shifted positions to hold his nestling daughter more comfortably, he was reminded of Proverbs 4:23.
Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life.
It seemed Corinthians had not guarded her affections and had fallen in love. He had a gut feeling that it would influence and change her life forever. He wondered if she was ready for those changes, the joys and happiness, as well as the heartbreak and disappointments. Love encompassed many things, and love was never easy, especially to someone who may not have been prepared for it.
He released a long, deep sigh. Corinthians was fast approaching thirty-one. For years her only love affair had been with her job. It was time for her to settle down, find a good man and become a wife and mother. He turned his thoughts to Trevor Grant. There was no doubt in his mind that the man cared deeply for Corinthians, but evidently there was some sort of problem between them.
Reverend Avery shook his head. He had a gut feeling Corinthians and Trevor Grant had a lot of things to work out. Something had happened between them in the jungles of South America that didn’t go over well and needed repairing.
“Dang, she’s still sleeping?” Joshua Avery asked in a whispered voice as he got back inside the car. “Maybe we ought to take her to the hospital and have a doctor look her over. There’s no telling what Trevor Grant did to her.”
Reverend Avery frowned at his son’s statement. Since Joshua’s emergence into the political arena, he had become the type of man that only parents could truly love. “What he
did
to your sister, young man, was to keep her alive, and don’t you forget it.” He leaned back against the seat. “Your mother is waiting for us at the hotel, and she’ll take care of Corinthians. Besides, you and I know what a hard sleeper your sister is after working herself into a state of total exhaustion.”
“But still, Dad, I—”
“Enough Joshua. The only place Corinthians is going is to the hotel. Then we’ll take her home to Louisiana.”
The man in the dark suit was angry. Extremely angry. Araque’s men had not captured Corinthians Avery, and had gone so far as to get captured by the United States military. At least he didn’t have to worry about them talking and implicating him. Only Araque knew his identity and he wouldn’t talk. He had too much to lose if he did. As long as he continued to supply Araque money to help finance his illegal activities, he would keep quiet.
He threw down the newspaper he had just finished reading. He knew all about the political machinations going on between South America and the United States to capture Araque and release the hostages without any ransom being paid. He was not concerned with the hostages, only with Corinthians Avery.
Only yesterday, he had ordered that a special room at his secluded hideaway be decorated for her. He had ordered the finest and most expensive of furnishings. And the clothing he had purchased for her, all lingerie, handmade from the richest silk, was proof of her value to him; proof of how much he wanted her. And thinking that she would soon be within his reach had made his desire for her increase that much more. He couldn’t get out of his mind how beautiful she had looked at the dinner party that night.
So much for depending on Araque,
he seethed silently as rage covered his face and his hands tightened into fists at his side. Soon, he would have Corinthians Avery and he would personally pick someone he felt he could depend on to do the job. She may have escaped being captured once, but she wouldn’t do it twice.
There were three happy people sitting around the dining-room table. It was almost three o’clock in the morning, but Stella Grant couldn’t contain her happiness or excitement. Trevor had called and told her he had checked into a hotel in Key West, Florida, and had made arrangements to fly home to Texas sometime later that day. The thought that her son was coming home had returned a smile to her face and the sparkle to her eyes. Her nightmare was over. But her heart went out to the families whose loved ones were still being held as hostages in South America. She said as much to Maurice and Regina.
“I wish there was something we could do.”
“There is,” Maurice said, reaching across the table and taking her hand, squeezing it gently. “We’ll continue to pray for their safe return.”
Regina nodded in agreement. She had seen her father take her mother’s hand and hold it a number of times since she had returned home from her business trip. The gesture seemed so automatic she doubted he realized he was doing it. Over the past few days she couldn’t help but notice how close her parents seemed to have become.
She released a deep, satisfied sigh. Nothing would please her more than for them to get back together. When she noticed the sad silence around the table, she decided to switch the conversation to a more lighthearted note.
“I wonder if Sterling Hamilton came up with a good excuse for his wife as to why he was caught on camera leaving Diamond Swain’s hotel room at three in the morning.”
Maurice Grant raised a brow. “Who?”
Regina shook her head, smiling. “Sterling Hamilton, Daddy, the movie star. According to this morning’s paper, he was seen leaving his costar, Diamond Swain’s, hotel room at three in the morning. And he just got married last month, which in itself was a shocker since he was a devout bachelor.”
Regina took a sip of her coffee before continuing. “A reporter asked Sterling Hamilton’s wife about the article. Her response was that she didn’t believe it. Can you believe she would say that after seeing that picture of him holding Diamond Swain in his arms? That picture probably hit the front page of every newspaper in this country, as well as abroad.”
“Yes, I can believe she would say that,” Maurice said with a touch of coldness in his voice. He looked at his daughter before moving his gaze to his wife. He then disjoined their hands. “There are some wives who trust their husbands. There are some wives who are so secure in their love and marriage, that nothing, not even what’s probably an innocent pose caught on camera, can destroy that security.”
Silence stretched out painfully across the table. Regina immediately regretted bringing up the article about Sterling Hamilton. All it had done was dredge up painful memories for her parents as to the reason they weren’t together.
“I have to go.”
“Go where?” Regina asked her father when he stood. He had been staying with her mother ever since news of the hostages had broken. Although he had spent his nights sleeping on the sofa, he’d still been here, close at hand, providing her mother with comfort and support.
“I’m going home, Gina, to my place. I’ve stayed around here long enough. With Trevor on his way home, things can get back to normal.”
Regina knew that to her father, getting back to normal meant once again putting distance between him and her mother. “But Daddy, I thought we’d all be here together when Trev got home, the three of us,” Regina explained, not wanting him to leave, and feeling she was the cause of him doing so.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Maurice Grant said, placing his chair under the table. “Trevor will understand. When he gets here, tell him he knows where he can reach me. I’ll see you two later.” He turned and quickly walked out of the kitchen.
Regina looked at her mom and saw the sadness and pain etched in her face. She saw her shoulders slump at the sound of the front door clicking shut behind her father.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“No, Gina, don’t worry about it. Your father is right. Trevor will understand. And he was right about something else, too. Some wives do trust their husbands. And I will regret for the rest of my life that I was not one of them. I admire Sterling Hamilton’s wife for taking the position that she did.”
Regina watched as her mother stood and quietly left the room.
Trevor lay in bed in total darkness, looking up at the ceiling. He missed Corinthians already. Ashton just didn’t understand that things had to end the way they did between them. If he had known the whole story from the beginning, then he would know there was no other way for things to end.
What he had told Ashton had been the truth. Her love had never been his. When he had first laid eyes on her, he had been the wrong man. He had not been the man she had planned to seduce. Just like he had not been the man she had planned to give her virginity to. Again, he had been the wrong man.
He shifted positions in bed. With every fiber of his being, he ached to hold Corinthians in his arms once more. He ached to go to sleep with her beside him and to wake up with her in the mornings. And he ached to show her just how much she was loved. The only thing he had left were memories he would cherish forever.
Not being able to stay in bed any longer, Trevor got up and slipped into his jeans. He was about to pick up the phone to call downstairs to see if one of the restaurants in the hotel was still open when he heard the knock on his door.
His eyes narrowed. His late-night visitor could only be one person, and the last thing he wanted to hear was another Indian saying from Ashton. He went to the door and snatched it open. “Don’t you ever give up?”
Ashton laughed. “Not too often,” he drawled in an Oklahoma accent.
Trevor cocked his head and looked at Ashton. He had changed clothes. Gone were the military fatigues. Now he was dressed in a pair of well-worn jeans and a pullover shirt with a fringed cowboy vest over it. His hair was no longer secured in a ponytail, but hung loose around his shoulders. Even with the darkness of Ashton’s skin, tonight he looked more Indian. Trevor glanced down at Ashton’s feet. He even had on a pair of moccasins.
Trevor couldn’t help the one corner of his mouth that lifted slightly into a smile. “Going to a powwow?”