Fins 4 Ur Sins (18 page)

“Come closer to the fire,” I
invite. “It’s warmer here and I can tell you more.”

Lakyn squeezes my hand. “I’ll be
back soon.” He directs a hard stare toward Cal and then leaves.

Cal nestles Beth in a spare chair
and selects a seat nearer the fire and me.

I stare into the flames and begin
to speak. “The sirens are responsible for other deaths along the coastline.
That girl you found last year. Why authorities can’t figure out how they died
or why. Sirens steal people’s souls. They’re not supposed to be here, and they
followed Lakyn. I’ve been training today, preparing to get away in case they
come for me again. Lakyn thinks more are coming.”

“They followed him? How
convenient.
Followed him right to you.”

I smile wanly, noticing the gun
Cal still clutches in his right hand and the nervous twitch of his fingers. “I
know what you’re trying to say, but he shouldn’t be blamed for what the sirens
are doing. And yes, he was a merman, and he lost his fins because he helped a
human.” I pause. “Me.”

Cal immediately turns to Lakyn,
who returns, and they size each other up in silence, but Cal relaxes his hold
on the gun and then leans back in the seat. “OK. Tell me more.”

Bones crack and I feel my hips
shift. I grab the edges of the chair, press down, tuck in my chin and a screech
escapes my mouth.

Immediately, Lakyn pulls me up
into his arms, his voice soothing, “It’s OK, Ellie. Let it come. Remember what
I told you, you have legs, you can walk.”

Sweat beads on my forehead and upper
lip, the heat from the fire too much to bear. “I . . . I . . .” My mouth and
throat is too dry to talk, and my tail itches.

“Stand on your tail,” he murmurs
in my ear. “Forget what’s going on around you and think back. You can walk.
Remember? Put one foot in front of the other.”

“I can’t,” I gasp. Rain and flame
converge in the air, and I drag the scent of wood smoke and moisture into my
lungs.

“Hell.” Cal’s there, his chest
leaning against my other shoulder, fingers digging into my skin. “She’s heavy.”

“It’s her tail,” Lakyn mutters.
“Don’t let her fall. Ralph, help me with the robe.”

Footsteps pound the floor, and
Ralph’s lined face appears above mine. “Hang in there, love. Just like last
time.”

“Move the towels, would you?”
Lakyn asks. “Put her arms through the robe. She needs to walk.”

“What?” Cal asks.
“How?”

Ralph strips the fallen towels
from my tail fin and more hands grip my hips, so warm after the cool rain.
Their palms radiate heat into my scales and skin.
Scales and
skin.
I’m human, too. Ralph threads my arms through the robe and ties
the front securely around my waist. “There you go, Ellie. You’re all good.”

The tail fin retracts into the
bones of my feet, and dust on the floor whips around my tail. Black lightning
arcs up into my body, and whoever’s holding my hands gets broken fingers. My
head falls back and lands on Lakyn’s shoulder. I look up into the golden cast
of his cheeks, the way the firelight dances across his skin.

Something’s happening to me, and
his eyes are beacons, keeping me in this world. Mine widen, feeling the skin
pull back on my legs. He gently brushes damp hair from my forehead, his gaze
holding mine and I drown in blue.
Once again.

“You’re feeling the
transformation.” He doesn’t tell me to enjoy it or anything else, but pain and
joy intertwine until I discover they’re the opposite aspects of the same thing.
The strength in his gaze slows my breath.

“What’s it like having legs,
Ellie?” Ralph asks.

Pictures of my favourite shorts
flash through my mind.
Short and black.
Denim, blue.
My thighs and knees, the
shine of the mirror as I look at my reflection.
Choosing
my shoes.
I struggle to push a foot forward like last time, and my
muscles press against the tail, holding me in tight.

“Yes,” Lakyn murmurs. “Good.
That’s it. You’re human.”

Skin lifts in sections on my
legs, and then the hatches close, and this time, there’s no holding back my
scream. Heat melts my skin. All around me is the glow of the fire. Sweat
trickles down my back.

“The next foot,
Ellie.
Don’t give up now.”

I hear the hard snap of bone and
arch back, knees buckling as my legs release each other. Hands grip me tighter
and skin folds over on my feet. I bend forward, nausea coiling in my stomach.

“Can’t—” I let go and sink into
darkness.

≈≈≈

“ELLIE,” A GENTLE voice calls out to me in the black. “Come
back to us.”

Awareness floods my body, and I
press back against softness, my head resting on a pillow. I have trouble
remembering, feeling sure I have to do something in the morning. I open my eyes
and stare at a strange ceiling.
God, not again.

“Ellie.”

“Cal?” I turn my head to hunt for
the voice.

Lakyn frowns. “No.” His gaze
shifts away, and I follow his line of sight. Cal and Bethany sit rather
nervously on the other sofa across from us.

“What happened?” I try to smile
but don’t think I have the energy. “I blacked out again? You caught me?”

Lakyn nods and holds a hand to my
shoulder. “Don’t get up yet, you’ll be dizzy.” He smiles down, and his features
soften.

“Dizzier.” I grin back at him. “I
want to tell them something.”

“I’m sure you do, but—”

“I saw it,” Cal bursts out. “I
saw you change. One moment you had a . . . tail, and the next, legs.”

Bethany leans against her cousin.
“You had a haircut and now your hair is longer.”

“I was going to tell you, I just
didn’t know how. But I’m OK,” I say, hoping she can hear the reassurance in my
voice so she will get that frightened look off her face. “It’s true. I believe
mermaids have longer hair. It just grew again.”

“What happened?” she asks. “Tell
me everything.”

I proceed to do so, how I noticed
the changes to my ribs while we went shopping, how my hair grew after I cut it,
but I hadn’t said anything at the time. Lakyn sticking by me on the excursion
and how he seemed to know I wanted to go swimming. How I heard the song again
and Lakyn saved me.
All of it.

Cal leans closer at the end of my
tale. “So if we’re in danger, that means our families are too—”

“No!” Lakyn jumps up and paces
the room, clenching his hands into fists. “I know what you’re going to say, and
you can’t do it no matter how much you want to.”

“What?” I stare at him. “Who’s
going to say what?”

He nods to Cal. “Cal here. He
wants to warn his family to save them from the sirens.”

“That’s natural,” I agree and
smile. “I’m sure they won’t—”

“Well, it’s my father and uncle
and—”

“Are you listening to me?” Lakyn
snarls and towers over Cal. “You can’t.”

I sit up straighter.
“Why not?”

“Do you think it’s a coincidence
Ralph and Joey and all the rest haven’t told everyone they know about finfolk? Think
about it. What stops them?” He stops pacing and puts his fists on his hips,
glaring down at me. “They only talk to those who already know. The guardians of
the sea have a special missive to destroy anyone who gives away too many
secrets. That is why I didn’t want you to tell anyone. They can tell others.”

I frown up at him as I process
this information. “I don’t understand.”

“Every guardian will be sent to
kill you and all the others you have told. They will kill the story dead to
keep their secrets safe. The more people you tell, the more you think you’re
saving, but if they repeat anything you’ve said, even by accident, then they’re
dead, too.”

I gasp, and the sudden pain to my
chest has me choking. “They die anyway?”

“If they reveal
anything.”
Lakyn nods. “You could wipe out entire families by telling
one person. You have to be so careful. The moment you told Bethany and Cal, you
could have killed them. They will want to tell their families, and they can’t
be certain someone down the line won’t say anything. That’s the danger.”

“But if others knew their lives
were in danger if they said something?”

Lakyn looks at me with something
akin to pity in his gaze. “Did that stop you?”

“You didn’t tell me why!” I object.
“Damn.” I rub my hands against each other, trying to remove the sweat from my
palms.

“What do these guardians look
like?” Cal asks.

“Protectors of the sea,” I
murmur. “Lakyn used to be one, until he betrayed them and saved me.”

Bethany sighs, and gets up off
her seat, comes and sits by me and then holds my hand. “I won’t tell anyone,
Ellie. Don’t worry.”

Lakyn sighs. “You can’t promise
that, so don’t even try. What about when you have children? You’ll do anything
to protect them. You’re not expected to make promises you have no hope of
keeping. But it’s dangerous enough now. Ellie—” He looks at me with a stern
expression. “You have told too many people already. Entire villages have been
wiped out. Imagine a thousand guardians like me, coming for you with the
ability to lure you from your bed with magic.”

“I thought only sirens could lure
people?”

“The council has enough magic to
lend to the guardians until they get the job done. We don’t like to rely on the
sirens; they kill the wrong people and are harder to control. Even the
guardians who don’t like to kill will be forced to, exactly for the same
reasons you’ve told them.” He nods to Bethany and Cal. “They’ll want to protect
their family and friends.”

“So in trying to save them, I’ve
put their life in more danger.” I rake a hand through my hair and rock back
into the sofa.

“Probably far more than you
intended to. It is always the same.” Lakyn turns to Cal. “If you tell your
other family members, word will get around. It’s the surest way to kill them, instead
of saving them.”

Cal rubs his upper arms as if
chilled. “They’re assassins . . . of the sea?”

“Guardians,” Lakyn corrects. “But
I see now you understand.”

“Yes,” Cal murmurs absently.
“That gear I saw you with in the water. They’d have that and more. They can
lure us in?” He scratches his chin. “That’s it then. Saving lives means keeping
my trap shut.”

“Can you do that?” Lakyn’s gaze
is glacier blue.

“If it means I save them,” Cal
answers simply.

“There’s more. If you tell them
to stay off the water without confessing why, the finfolk will
notice—everything to do with the sea is their business. Don’t think you can get
around it by avoiding going out on the water, or stopping your family from
doing so. The guardians will ferret out the truth by any means.”

Cal
falls
silent a moment more and then nods.
“Got it.”
He turns
to Bethany.
“
Cuz
?”

He doesn’t need to say anything
more than that as she meets his gaze and they seem to communicate without
words. She leans back in the seat, clenching my hand tighter.

“There’s one thing I don’t
understand,” Cal begins. “If the guardians are so secretive and actually kill
humans for telling secrets, what prompted you to save Ellie?”

Lakyn’s eyes widen, and his whole
body stiffens. “What?”

“He saw the sirens,” I say. “It’s
illegal for them to be here—”

“Yes, yes,” Cal interjects. “But
if killing humans is something done without compunction by the guardians, why
did Lakyn feel the need to save you? Wouldn’t it go against everything he was
taught? Plus, he lost his fins and his home?”

31

THE LATEST POP song is stuck in my mind, and I wander about
the kitchen, singing the tune under my breath while I make a peanut butter
sandwich. I’m heading back to the fridge for a drink when a hand lands on my
shoulder.

“
Aah
!”
I jump and the glass bottles rattle in the refrigerator door, though none
break. I blow out a breath and scowl,
then
glance over
my shoulder. “Cal? You scared me to death.”

He grins, although the expression
looks uneasy, and he shuffles his feet back, giving me some room. “Your nerves
are shot. You almost jumped a foot in the air. I knocked. Probably didn’t hear
me over the rain and your singing.
What
ya
doin
’?”
He saunters toward the cabinets and
leans one hip against the counter, agitatedly running a hand through his dark
hair. “Raiding the fridge?”

“Bad manners, right?” I dive back
inside the fridge for a drink,
then
close the door
with my foot. “Lakyn said
it’s
all good, and I’m
starving.” I pop open a can of Coke.

“Swimming in the sea for an hour
or two will do that to you.”

“Hmm.
You were watching us, weren’t you?” I study him curiously, munching on my
sandwich, and then I swallow the food with a mouthful of cola. “You waited that
long to talk to me?
Why didn’t you just come on over?”

“Beth. She couldn’t shake the
idea something was wrong. You know what her instincts are like. She wanted to
wait.” He hesitates. “But yeah, I haven’t stopped watching the whole time I’ve
been here. When Lakyn stood next to you by the car, I watched. When he carried
you inside, and while
your
.
. . legs appeared. Especially when I asked him why he saved your life and he
lied.”

“Wait. What? You think he lied?”

Cal’s toned shoulder muscles
flex, and water droplets fleck the burnished bronze of his skin. He’s been
outside while wearing the white singlet. His jaw hardens and the clear light in
his eyes holds me spellbound.

“I know it.” Cal sucks in a
breath that sounds too loud in the kitchen. “Don’t ask me how, but I do. He
might be able to hide it from you, but for some reason, he thinks he can’t
reveal the truth.” Cal’s eyes narrow.
“Too much at stake.
I’m not saying you can’t trust him with your life. Obviously, you can—”

“He said he saved me because he
did what he thought to be right. From what I’ve seen it’s true.”

“That’s half an answer. No.” Cal
shakes his head, and the lines of his body stiffen until his shoulders hunch
over, as though he’s protecting me from what’s outside the door. “Think over
his story, Ellie. If that’s the case why didn’t he save the other kids who
drowned? How does being right stop with you?” he asks, staring into my eyes.
“What makes you so important? Why pick you out of all of them?”

“Luck?”
Though I only half believe that. I’ve never been so lucky to live while all the
others died. The sandwich dangles from my hand, my fingers pressing into the
soft bread as I think up an answer. “Lakyn wasn’t there to save them.”

“Right.”
Cal steps closer to me and drops his voice. A sudden gust rattles the windows
and droplets fall through the worn boards.
“Exactly.
He wasn’t there. He was near
you,
close enough to save
you, drive away the sirens, then make the decision to turn you into a mermaid,
risking his fins and home because of it.” His voice rises with incredulity. “I
saw his face, Ellie.
The moment you revealed who you really
were.
He’s protective of you. There’s something more going on here.”

“He said he’d been watching me.”

“How long?”

“I’m not sure,” I whisper back,
though I don’t know why I bother to lower my voice. I can barely hear Cal as it
is from the rain on the tin roof. “Since I moved in and started singing at the
cliff, I guess. Well that’s what he’s told me.” I put my sandwich on a plate,
turn back to Cal and lean against the bench.
Which is great
because my knees wobble.
“You’re saying you think he lied to me? That he
didn’t save me because he thought it was right?”

“Partially.
That would’ve made up some of his reasoning. You are an amazing singer if what
I heard at the door is any indication. So it’s possible he heard you singing
and that’s what made him stick around.” The view outside the window seems to
hold Cal’s undivided attention, and there’s something about the bleak and
beautiful, dark grey sky that helps the seconds pass. “Consider his kind usually
kill people who betray their secrets. They have no remorse about it. So he went
against everything he’s ever known and the people in his life, and lost his
home to turn you into a mermaid.” Cal pauses, shooting me a sideways look. “The
reward must’ve been greater than the risk.”

“He talks about legends
sometimes. He learned about them from reading in his uncle’s library. His uncle
is a king.” I stand there, uncertain. “Well,” I begin and wipe my sweaty palms
down the opening of the soft robe, “there is more. He’s told me I’m the first
person in a thousand years who hasn’t died from turning into a mermaid.”

Cal’s eyebrows fly up in
surprise. “So he’s a prince from the sea, and no one else has become a mermaid
in one thousand
years?
That didn’t raise red flags?
The
threat to kill me if I say something—he means it.
Keep your eyes open,
Ellie, that’s all I ask. I can’t tell my family, but I’ll do what I can to help
you.”

“Thanks, Cal. I appreciate it.”
My heart pounds in a sickening motion, and the sandwich turns sour in my
stomach. I hold a hand over my mouth, take a deep breath and mutter, “Oh, God.
But you’re right, aren’t you? Why didn’t I see it before?”

“You grew a tail?” Cal hazards
with a grin. “That’s enough to keep anyone occupied.
Bethany’s
still shell shocked.
She’s walking around outside with a stunned look on
her face. But keep your eyes open and ask questions. Yes, he’s trying to save
you, but why turn you and risk everything? Find that out and you’ll have the
answer to his reward.” Cal turns for the door, and I grab my food. “Ready? Come
on. Lakyn’s probably found out I’m missing, because I snuck away while he was
securing the boats.”

There’s nothing else I need from
the kitchen, and as we reach the landing together, my legs weaken at the
prospect of walking down all those stairs. Suddenly, I’m bone tired. Juggling
the sandwich and drink close to my chest, I grip the banister with my right
hand; otherwise I’ll go face surfing. Bump, bump,
bumpity
bump. Who knew a body could be so heavy? It isn’t until the third step that my
knees go rubbery, my foot slips out from underneath me, and I swing wildly,
crashing my ribs and chest into the wooden railing.

A low moan of pain echoes from my
throat.

Strong, gentle hands support my
back. Cal lifts me up and steadies me on my feet. “Hang on. Wrap your arm
around my neck.”

I try to lean most of my weight
against him. “My ribs are killing me.”

“I bet. Take your time. Watch
yourself. No rush. Your knees look shaky. How on Earth did you make it up?”

I laugh breathlessly, finding
humour in the situation.
“With great difficulty.”
He
smells super clean from the rain, though it brings out the sharp scent of his
pine aftershave, and I probably cling a little too close because I’m afraid I’ll
break my neck. “I should have just slid down the
raili
—”

Someone loudly clears their
throat, and we both look down at the noise. Lakyn stares up at us, his narrow
gaze flitting from me, to Cal and then back again. Cal’s hands rest on my waist
while my left arm twines around his neck. My left breast presses against Cal’s
chest, and his cheek is above my hair, but he’s only helping me down the
stairs. Hot prickles surge beneath my skin, and my tongue ties in knots trying
to think up something to say. But why should I even need to?

“Lakyn.”
Cal nods and descends another step. I follow in tandem. He doesn’t release me
though Lakyn’s intense look makes my stomach quiver.

The golden cast of his cheeks,
his hair darker from the rain and his drenched shirt show he hasn’t had time to
get changed. His wetsuit folds down to his waist. His arms hang by his sides,
and I see the veins standing out beneath his skin as his hands clench into
fists.

“We were just talking about you.”
A hint of warning threads Cal’s voice.

“Were you?” Lakyn’s mouth
tightens more if that’s possible.
“Ellie.”
He runs up
the staircase and offers his hand. “Need help?”

“Well, yes.
Sorta
.
I fell,” I say
breathlessly, and he’s close enough for the intoxicating scent of icy musk,
fresh salt and a hint of lavender to surround me in a glorious aura. I just
want him to hold me. A tendril of dismay curls around my heart at the idea.
Cal’s right, I need to find out more, but I can’t help relaxing my guard around
Lakyn. “My legs are weak. I’m tired, and Cal was helping me down the stairs. I
hit my ribs on the railing.”

“I didn’t mean to leave you on
your own for so long.” The deep timbre of Lakyn’s voice is gentle, and I can’t
seem to look away from his gorgeous face. My heartbeat sounds too loud in my
ears. “I had to check things outside.” Finally, he acknowledges Cal with a grim
stare. “Your cousin is looking for you.”

Cal nods, untangles my arm from
his neck and then walks down the stairs. He gives me one last look over his
shoulder before he exits the front door. “See you soon, Eloise.”

Again, another hint of warning
colours his
tone,
and I smile in answer.

Lakyn winds my arm across his
broad shoulders, around his neck and then hooks his arm under my knees. Before
I know it, he’s cradling me against his chest. “I don’t want you to fall
again,” he whispers in my ear, his warm breath sending shivers across my nape.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs, he sets me in a seat opposite Ralph at
the table. The look Lakyn gives me seems to pierce my heart, and the tiny
prisms of blue make heat flare in my cheeks. “Please stay here until I come
back.”

I watch him disappear in silence,
then finally Ralph turns to me and
crushes
out his
cigarette in the black ashtray on the table. “Seeing you today made me realise
how much I miss my fins.” He rubs his nose and smiles. “I think I would do
anything to get them back.
To be able to swim in the ocean
like that again.”

“Is that . . . right?” I focus on
him, and recall Cal’s warning of how much Lakyn gave up. Seconds pass in
silence. “You regret losing them?” My tongue is stiff and unresponsive. I move
my jaw around and clear my throat.

“Sure. Every finfolk would.”

Every
finfolk?
My frown crinkles the tight skin on my forehead. “Even—”

Ralph laughs before I can say it.
“Oh, he won’t say it. Probably won’t think it, either. But when you get to my
age, and your missus has died, sometimes you wish you could return.” He closes
his eyes and tilts back his head. “Feel that other world closing around me.”
His eyes open and his brown gaze cuts through all pretence. “You know the
feeling. You’re lucky to be able to move between both worlds.”

“A thousand years lucky.” A hint
of sarcasm leaks into my tone.

Ralph just chuckles again, and
his gaze swerves to the window where rain pelts against the glass, and wild,
turbulent sea rolls in the distance.

“Other than
breathing or giving someone a merman’s kiss, how do you do it?
How do
you turn somebody into a mermaid? Why do you take that step?”

“I wondered how long it would
take you to ask. You turn someone because you want to be together.” Ralph picks
up his beer, and his throat works as he gulps down the alcohol. The bottle
clanks against the table, and he scrubs his mouth with the back of his hand,
then
leans in closer. “First of all,” he whispers, “you have
to believe you can.”
A heartbeat, two.
“Also the best
transformations are done just before death so the other person has to be
willing to die.”

“Lord.” I can’t stop myself from
being fascinated and horrified. “Go on.”

“We breathe . . . you breathe,”
he amends, “finfolk into the other person, fill up their lungs and they take a
part of you with them forever. You already know it’s called the merman’s kiss.”

“But anyone can do it?
Mermaids, too?”

He nods. “Sure, but . . .” A
quick shrug, another
guzzle
of beer. “We might’ve been
doing it wrong for one thousand years.” He gives a bark of laughter, and his
eyes look like coal in the fireplace of a deserted house. “Lakyn’s the only one
who has succeeded in my lifetime. It’s the big dream down there.”

“Why do you do it if the risks
are so great?”

“You don’t.”

I look up into Lakyn’s face. His
mouth is a thin line. “It doesn’t matter. Ellie, it’s too dangerous. I did it to
you because you were going to die. There are a million things that can go
wrong. Right, Ralph?”

“Two million.”
The old seaman squishes the peak of his cap, lights up another cigarette and
stares up at the ceiling. “Even in all this time, I still remember her hair.
The kind of mermaid she would have made.” He takes a deep drag of his cigarette
and when he blows it out, grey tendrils obscure his face. “Here I am breathing
in smoke, when I used to breathe in water.”

I don’t know what else to say.
Lakyn releases my arm and sits beside me, and then Cal and Bethany walk back
through the door, sloshing water all over the floor. They grab towels from the
table and take a seat.