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Authors: Patricia Scanlan

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‘And I love you, dear,’ Nora said, with a smile of pleasure.

It was great to be home, Nora smiled to herself, turning her face up to the watery light of an early February sun. It had been a mild winter and already the crocuses were
beginning to burst out of the ground and, if she weren’t very much mistaken, the buds were beginning to appear on the cherry-blossom trees.

Today she was going to perform a very important task. She had been thinking about it lately, since those funny little episodes began. She’d been having them for a long time now and it was
very frustrating. Something was not quite right; she couldn’t put her finger on it, but she just
knew
. The heart attack hadn’t helped either. But it
had
helped her
make up her mind about what she was going to do, and the sooner she did it the better. Although she loved all her children, and Irene, her baby, a little bit more than the others, Nora knew that it
was Cassie she would always turn to in her hour of need. She realized that it wasn’t very fair always to expect Cassie to come to her aid but, in all honesty, she knew she couldn’t turn
to Barbara. It pained her to admit it but her second youngest daughter had a woeful self-centred streak that had
not
disappeared as she had got older.

As for Irene, poor lovey, she just wasn’t able for hassle. She had gone into hysterics when Nora had the heart attack and the doctor had to give her something to calm her down. Irene would
always fall to pieces in a crisis.

No, it was Cassie who would cope as always and that was why Nora was taking the step she was taking. She had put on her best suit, the one Cassie had bought her in Liverpool. She went out the
gate and headed up the town.

Cassie sat beside her mother at midnight Mass. It was Easter and the Easter Vigil was drawing to a close. Nora had always loved the Easter Vigil but this year she was
uncharacteristically down in herself. In fact Cassie was quite worried about her. She seemed almost to be in a world of her own and was very absent-minded. In spite of her brave words, she had
taken Irene’s going very badly. Irene had left for Washington the day after Saint Patrick’s Day and her mother was missing her sorely.

Cassie didn’t seem to be able to cheer her mother up at all. Nora hadn’t even noticed that she had given the house a hell of a spring-cleaning, something that was badly needed. She
had never known her mother to be sloppy about her housekeeping, but under the sink in the bathroom and the pipes behind the toilet-bowl were in need of a good clean. And so was the fridge; in fact
there was a smell from it, and on further investigation Cassie had discovered two sausages that were green. And what was her mother doing buying all those teabags? She had half a dozen boxes in the
cupboard. When Cassie asked her about it, Nora had stared at her blankly. ‘What teabags are you talking about, pet? I don’t remember buying any.’

‘Mam, I was just thinking, why don’t you get someone in for a few hours a week to help you look after the house. It’s a big place to be looking after by yourself now that
everybody is gone and I’m sure you could afford it!’ Cassie suggested, as they walked home underneath the starry sky after midnight Mass.

‘I can do my own housework, Miss, thank you very much!’ bristled Nora.

‘It was only a suggestion, Mam,’ Cassie said mildly as they went into the kitchen.

‘Well, you can keep suggestions like that to yourself. Who do you think I am?
Barbara!
’ Nora retorted tartly with a touch of her old spirit, as, chuckling, she made a pot of
tea for them.

By the time Cassie was leaving, Nora was more like her old self but Cassie worried about her although she knew John and Karen called in every day without fail.

In the meantime, she was looking forward to Laura coming over to her for a weekend in the early summer. Aileen, who expected to be back in London for a while, was going to come and join them in
the Wirral. Aileen had stayed with her a few times and they had had some great laughs but with Laura coming over to join them it would be perfect, just like old times.

On the Friday evening of Laura’s arrival, Cassie drove out to Liverpool airport to collect her friend. The weather was gorgeous and expected to remain so. There was going
to be some serious sunbathing done and some mega-serious gossiping! Cassie couldn’t wait. And then, the most exciting thing had happened at work that day, and it was so fitting that the girls
would be the first to know about it.

‘Oh Cassie! Cassie! Cassie! Isn’t this great?’ Laura was giddy with delight and anticipation as she hugged Cassie in the arrivals hall. ‘What time is Lady Muck
arriving?’

Cassie grinned, hugging her back. ‘In about an hour and a half’s time. We’ll drive directly to Lime Street to pick her up; it will save her having to change trains to get to
West Kirby.’

‘I’m dying to see her!’ exclaimed Laura, who was looking bandbox-fresh after her flight.

‘Me too,’ said Cassie as she led the way out of the airport to where her car was parked. They hardly drew breath on the trip into Liverpool and when Aileen’s train arrived and
she saw her two best friends waiting for her she gave a shriek of delight. There was a flurry of hugs and kisses before they left the station and drove under the Mersey towards West Kirby.

‘Do you want to go out on the town, or what?’ Cassie asked as they got near home. Aileen and Laura shook their heads.

‘I’ve got a litre bottle of Bacardi from the duty-free!’ Laura grinned.

‘And I,’ announced Aileen, ‘have a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.’

‘What the hell is that? It sounds a bit vulgar to me,’ giggled Cassie. She didn’t need alcohol. She was getting high just being with the girls.

‘You philistine, Cassie Jordan!’ Aileen guffawed. ‘I’ll have you know it’s the best of champagne given to me by none other than the director of the film I’ve
just worked on. And guess what? I might be working on a film with Anthony Hopkins! Oh joy!’


Anthony Hopkins!
’ shrieked the others. ‘Wow!’

They stopped at Cassie’s favourite haunt, What’s Cooking, and had a very tasty meal over which they lingered for ages, enjoying one another’s company as they caught up with the
backlog of news. They then adjourned to Cassie’s house and Laura went into ecstasy at the décor.

‘I love the mirrors on the curve in the stairs. They make the whole place seem much bigger,’ she enthused. ‘And did
you
do those stencils along the
stairway?’

Cassie nodded, smiling.

‘Oh Cassie, it’s fabulous. You must be dead chuffed with yourself.’

‘As a matter of fact, I am, and not only with the house.’ Cassie was so thrilled that she could keep her news to herself no longer. ‘Guess what happened today?’

‘What?’ they chorused.

Cassie did a little twirl of delight. ‘I got promoted. I’m an assistant manager!’

‘Yippee!’ yelled Aileen, as Laura thumped Cassie on the back.

‘That definitely calls for champers. Come on, let’s get tiddly!’ Aileen ordered.

It was five in the morning before the three friends called a halt and retired, very tiddly indeed, to bed.

Despite their late night, they had an early start the next day. Cassie was determined to show Chester to Laura and Aileen, and they spent an enjoyable few hours shopping in the picturesque city.
They returned home after a madly satisfying spree and headed for the back garden wearing their bikinis. Lying in the warm sun, Cassie floated contentedly off to sleep, and was soon joined by her
companions. They snoozed happily for a few hours. By the time they had their tea and showered and dolled themselves up, they were raring to go for a night on the town. Cassie took them to the
bank’s social club and introduced them to Pauline and Ann and the rest of her friends. They all decided to go to a nightclub and it was the early hours of Sunday morning before their heads
hit the pillows.

A lie-in was definitely on the next morning and they slept like logs until midday. After a huge breakfast, they went for a long walk down by the Marine Lake. It was a very pleasant day and the
lake was full of windsurfers.

‘It’s a lovely place, isn’t it?’ Laura observed. ‘I can see why you’re so happy living here.’

‘Mmmm,’ agreed Aileen. ‘Much and all as I like London, I could quite fancy living here myself.’

‘I do love it: I’ve made some great friends; I’m doing well at work; I get a lot of interior design bits and pieces to do and I love my house. I can’t see myself coming
home for a long time. I never thought I’d say this but this is home for me now,’ Cassie confided as she pointed out Hilbre Island and the Irish Sea to her right and the coast of Wales
and the river Dee to her left.

She wished the girls could stay longer but Laura was flying home that night and Aileen was leaving the following morning.

While they got in another few hours’ precious sunbathing, Cassie prepared a delicious salad to accompany her Chicken Kievs and carried the food out to the garden on trays.

‘This reminds me of that first picnic we had in Ranelagh. Do you remember?’ smiled Aileen.

‘They were great carefree days, weren’t they?’ Cassie said, as she poured the chilled wine.

‘And we’ve come a long way since then,’ added Laura, raising her glass and clinking with Aileen.

They were just having their coffee when the phone rang. It was John, and as she listened to her brother’s news, Cassie felt her knees go shaky. She was as white as a ghost when she came
back out to the girls. ‘Mam’s had an accident. She crashed the car and she’s in hospital. John thinks I should come home, the sooner the better.’ She tried to keep her lip
from trembling.

‘I’ll phone and see if there’s a seat on my flight,’ Laura said briskly, springing into action.

Aileen put her arms around Cassie. ‘I’ll pack for you and drive you to the airport and I’ll tidy the house and leave it spick-and-span when I go away in the morning.
Don’t worry, Cassie, your mother will be all right.’

Cassie swallowed hard. ‘John said she wasn’t in danger or anything but he just felt I should come home. Something’s wrong that he’s not telling me about, I just know it.
He sounded dreadfully upset on the phone although he was trying to hide it.’

Laura emerged on the patio. ‘I’ve booked you a seat on my flight. Come on, let’s get packing.’

In the rush to get ready, Cassie didn’t have time to think, but as they sat on the short flight over the Irish Sea, she felt knots of fear and tension inside her.

‘Take it easy,’ Laura urged sympathetically.

‘I’m trying to, Laura, but I feel awfully scared. Something’s wrong, I just know it. There’s something really wrong with Mam!’

Book III
1985-1990
Thirty-Six

‘Alzheimer’s disease! Oh God, John! Are they sure?’ Cassie thought she was going to be sick as she sat in the car with her brother
en route
to the
hospital from the airport.

‘Well, that’s what they think it might be, Cassie. All her symptoms point in that direction. They’re just making sure it isn’t hypothyroidism or vitamin B12 and folic
acid deficiency. It will be a while before they can make a firm diagnosis and confirm what really
is
the matter but they say her symptoms are very indicative of Alzheimer’s and to be
prepared for that possibility.’

‘What symptoms?’ Cassie said tremulously. Her heart was racing, her palms were sweaty and she felt nauseous. John sighed.

‘The memory loss, the mood swings and depression, the confusion. Mam’s short-term memory is gone to pot. She can’t even remember having the accident. The guards think she put
her foot on the accelerator instead of the brake.’

‘But when did all this happen? I know she was a bit down in the dumps when I was home at Easter, but this all seems so sudden.’

‘Mam hasn’t been herself for a while now, Cassie, you know that, and since Irene left, she really went in on herself. She started to do some really strange things, ordering
groceries, things that she didn’t need, two and three times a week. She had this irrational fear that she was going to go hungry. She locked herself out many times because she’d
forgotten her keys; I was always having to come up and get in the window. The consultant said the Alzheimer’s has been developing slowly over the years but sometimes a shock or an upsetting
event can hasten its development. He thinks that Irene’s going to Washington could have been a factor and then the accident really brought on an acute attack. Cassie, she was completely
confused, she didn’t know us, didn’t know where she was or what had happened. And she wasn’t concussed or anything.’

‘This is unbelievable!’ Cassie shook her head in shock and yet, as she reflected, she could see how Nora’s behaviour had changed over the years: the gradual onset of
forgetfulness, the disimprovement in her housekeeping, even in her appearance. Nora had always been neat as a pin, with her hair done every week, but Cassie had noticed, especially the last time
she was home, that her mother was much less inclined to go to the hairdresser or keep herself smart and tidy. She remembered the episode with the teabags. She should have realized then that all was
not well with Nora, she chided herself. What this all meant for the future, she dared not think.

They arrived at the hospital and Cassie tried to compose herself. Alzheimer’s disease. Some people called it the living death, and the doctors thought her mother could have it. She wanted
to cry, to howl her eyes out and shriek abuse at the Almighty and even at Jack. How could he have let this happen to his wife? The dead were supposed to watch over the living. If that were the
case, her father hadn’t done a very good job of it!

‘Mam is sedated so she might not recognize you,’ John warned as they walked down the long hospital corridor, Cassie’s high heels echoing hollowly, breaking the silence. It was
the same hospital that Jack had died in, and the antiseptic smell was enough to turn her stomach. When they reached her mother’s bedside, she saw with dismay that the rails around the bed
were up.

‘In case she wanders.’ John sighed deeply. ‘She wants to go home. She gets very agitated at being in hospital so they had to sedate her.’

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