Finished (16 page)

He looked like some sort of rugged, hardened cop from a movie. It was like she was seeing him for the first time.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” she said, a swell of emotion pushing her into speech. “I really am. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“But you aren’t going to admit that what you did was wrong?”

“I don’t think it was.” She twisted her hands together, praying for the right word. “I mean, I wish now I hadn’t done it, but I didn’t cheat on you. And I think I need you to acknowledge that before we deal with the rest of this.”

There was a long pause before Mike said thickly, “I’m not sure I can.”

“Mike—”

“I watched him fucking you, Julia! And I wasn’t a part of it. It felt like a betrayal.”

Julia leaned forward, urgent and sincere as she asked, “A betrayal of what?” She wasn’t challenging him. She really wanted to know.

“Of what we have.” She could tell it wasn’t easy for Mike to speak so nakedly, but he didn’t back down or close off. “You know how I feel about you. I stayed awake all night worrying about you. God, what a pitiful schmuck I am. And you turn around and fuck him as soon as I—”

“I didn’t just turn around and fuck him! Don’t make it sound dirty. I’m in a relationship—”

“The relationship is over, and you’ve obviously made your choice.”

Mike did turn away then, and she saw his face close down, empty in a way she couldn’t bear. Clearly, he assumed this was the end of the conversation.

But it wasn’t even close.

She got up and grabbed him by the shoulder. Turned him around to face her.

“I haven’t made a choice,” she snapped. “It didn’t mean I made a choice.”

“Then why did you fuck him?” His eyes flared out again—angry, urgent, and desperate.

She wondered how long he’d watched her and Drayton fuck. How long he’d tortured himself.

It seemed significant that he kept calling it “fucking.” She’d always thought about it as making love before. Mike had always referred to it as sex.

“I did it because I didn’t
want
to make a choice, because I wanted things to stay the same.” The words felt like they were wrenched out of her. “It’s not fair, Mike. My life is being torn apart by this. It’s not fair that I have to choose between you. That I can’t be loyal to both of you.”

“I know.” Mike let out a breath. His face softened—in fatigue not in tenderness. “I know it’s not fair. It’s not fair that Drayton kept this secret from us, and that he’s still willing to lie to us. And it’s not fair that we had a decent thing going for a while. And then I had to fall in love with you—just you—and couldn’t stand for Drayton to touch you anymore.”

Julia stared up at him, her mouth open. While his feelings had been becoming increasingly obvious, it was shocking to hear it said so bluntly. It felt like she was frozen inside, so frozen the chill threatened to shatter her.

“I know that technically you didn’t do anything wrong,” Mike said, “I know I have no legitimate claim on you. But it
feels
like I do, and I can’t stand the thought that he fucked you.”

“He’s fucked me regularly for months.”

“I can’t stand that either.” Mike made a guttural sound and looked away. “It used to be hot—the fact that both of us fucked you. It was hot and freeing and easy. A scenario with no exclusivity and minimal responsibility. Nothing that could possibly hurt me. No one who could leave me and break my heart. But now I keep visualizing all the ways I’ve seen him take you. And I want to wring his neck for every time.”

“Oh, Mike…”

“I know it’s not fair to spring this on you. Why do you think I’ve been holding back for weeks, trying to talk myself out of it? But I can’t. I can’t share you anymore.”

A lump in her throat threatened to strangle her. “It’s not that easy, Mike. I’ve always been with both of you. It’s not like one of you can just fade away and everything left will work fine.”

“Why not?” Mike asked in almost a growl.

“What?”

“Why not? Why can’t it work? Why do you keep assuming that letting go of Drayton means letting go of me too? You know as well as I do that there are some real problems with being in a relationship with a professional thief, but even if he weren’t who he is, Drayton just doesn’t love you the way I do. He has to harden himself to do what he does. That’s the change we’ve both sensed in him. I know you feel loyal to him, but you feel even more than that for me. Why can’t you admit that and see that we might build something even better out of what’s left of the old relationship?” He took her by the shoulders, his hands as hard as granite. “You love me.”

“Of course, I love you. What we had was supposed to be casual, but that wasn’t enough for me. But it’s always been both of you at once. Why can’t you understand?”

“I do understand, but I don’t think it’s the way you believe it to be.”

“What do you mean? What do I believe?”

Mike’s mouth twisted strangely, and his eyes were suddenly angry again. “You think I only bring half of what you need.”

Julia sucked in a painful breath. “No! That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No—”

“Drayton is the exciting one, and I’m the one who picks up the pieces after he’s done.”

For a moment, Julia thought she might gag on the pressure in her throat. “No.”

Mike still hadn’t let go of her, and his eyes held hers with brutal insistence. “Maybe it’s a little simplified, but not much. You need me to be soft because you only find sharp edges with Drayton. So I hold you, and comfort you, and take care of you.”

There was a buzzing in her ears, in her head, in her heart. It was heartbreaking—that her dear, tender Mike had only been that way because she’d pressured him into it. “Didn’t you want to do all of that?”

“Yes, I did. But I didn’t want it to be all you found in me. Don’t you see what you’ve been doing? You won’t let me be…be whole.”

“I do! I will. I love you, Mike. I never wanted to suppress you—any part of you. You know I think you’re sexy and exciting and…and strong.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. You’re just different than Drayton. I never thought—”

“That I would want to be selfish,” Mike interrupted, his voice low, textured, and oddly threatening. He stepped forward, almost on top of her, forcing her to take a step back. “That I occasionally might want to just take what I want. That I might have to constantly fight the urge to be every bit as demanding as Drayton is.”

With each word, he took another step forwarded, until Julia was backed up to the wall of the cabin.

She was still upset over Mike’s accusation—which had revealed to her something she’d never realized. But, despite that, Mike’s rough, aggressive attitude, so different from what she’d always expected from him, was oddly exciting.

She had no idea why her heart was starting to race and breathing quicken. Her reaction was as surprising as it was visceral.

Mike planted his hands on the wall on either side of her, trapping her between them. “That I might get to the point that I snap. That I might finally shake some sense into you for trusting Drayton, when he’s nothing but a danger to you.”

This distracted her from her growing exhilaration. “He’s not dangerous,” she objected. “Why do you keep saying that? He’s still Drayton.”

“You never knew Drayton.” When she started to argue, he cut her off. “You didn’t. You saw him just as you saw me—only one side of him. He’s not just some sophisticated sex-god. He’s a man. And right now he’s scared.”

Julia’s mouth dropped open. “What are you talking about?”

“How can you not see it? Beneath his normal behavior, he’s scared. He’s trapped. He’s terrified.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know. But he keeps getting more and more scared. I’ve seen it growing for weeks. And when men like him get scared, they get dangerous.”

“He loves me. He loves us. He won’t want to hurt us.”

“I know that. But it doesn’t mean he won’t. Love doesn’t make you good. It only makes you more desperate. And desperation brings out all that is worst in a man. Believe me, I know.”

Julia made a choked sound and might have crumpled had she not still been trapped between the wall and Mike’s big, hard body. “I don’t know what you want from me, Mike.”

He pressed in even more closely, his eyes almost predatory in their strength and insistence. “Yes,” he said, a delicious heat of texture in his voice. “You do.”

She just stared up at him, speechless. That excitement rose up in her again.

“I want you to love me.”

“I do.”

“The real me. The whole me. I’m not the spineless teddy-bear you take me for.”

“I never thought that.”

Mike pushed against her with the length of his body. “I can be exciting.”

“I know.” She clung to his shirt and felt her body react irrationally, instinctively, to his strength and dominance.

He pushed into her again, this time from the hips. The move was almost like a thrust. “And willful.”

She gasped in response but couldn’t form any words.

Another thrust. “And demanding.”

Her pussy clenched this time in response.

“And possessive.” His thrust pushed her back against the wall. “And strong.”

Arousal hit her so hard and so suddenly it was almost painful. “I know,” she whispered, wondering if this was really Mike.

“I don’t think you do.”

The few times she’d seen him looking so intense and fiery in the past had been in moments before he’d kissed her. So she expected him to kiss her now. She wanted him to. Her cheeks had flushed and her lips parted in preparation. But he didn’t kiss her.

Instead, he cupped her bottom with his big hands and lifted her up, using the wall to brace her body as he held her.

Clinging to him in surprise, she wrapped her legs around him. “Mike.” She spoke the word on a taken breath, and she wasn’t sure if it was a question or an exclamation.

She felt helpless and tiny, being held by Mike like this, but it was as exciting and arousing as anything she could remember.

She still wore her jeans, and the denim felt tight and restrictive as it stretched across her groin. Her pussy ached and, despite the fact that she’d had sex with Drayton a few hours ago, she was dying for Mike to fuck her.

He pushed his pelvis into hers with another thrust, this one deliciously effective because of the alignment of their groins.

She cried out softly, instinctively trying to arch her back and grind her pussy against him. He was aroused too—she could feel the hard bulge beneath his pants.

The bristles on his cheeks scratched hers with a friction that was half uncomfortable and half incredibly sensual. She squeezed him between her legs and tried to rock against him eagerly, needing to ease the aching pressure at her center.

He kept thrusting into her, pushing her hard against the wall and holding onto her with a grip like iron. She hadn’t known he was so strong. Or, she might have known it, but she’d never felt it like this before.

She couldn’t believe this was Mike. She wondered how he’d turned into this rough, urgent, passionate, dominant stranger.

Wondered why he turned her on so much.

She was already—shamelessly—close to coming, just from the pressure of his arousal against hers. She gasped and grunted and squirmed between his body and the wall until the stimulation on her clit pushed her into orgasm.

She banged her head hard as her mouth opened in a silent exclamation of pleasure.

“God, Mike,” she panted, holding onto him with her arms and her legs. “I don’t—I can’t—” She gave up trying to articulate her confusion over the strange surge of need and desire that had overtaken her. Instead, she just said, “God, Mike, please fuck me now.”

He made a guttural sound—one that aroused her even more—and adjusted her weight until it was entirely resting on him. Then he carried her over to the rustic bed and let her go—not particularly gently.

She didn’t want him to be gentle. She wanted him fast and hard. Kicking off her shoes, she shrugged off her hoodie and yanked her t-shirt off over her head.

Mike didn’t waste any time either. He pulled off her jeans with an aggression that made her mew as a jolt of erotic pleasure shot down to her pussy.

Her legs were hanging over the side of the bed, but he didn’t let her get more stable before he lowered himself over her, parting her legs as he pushed his weight against her.

“Yes, Mike. Please!” She raked at his shoulders in a haze of desire and vaguely realized that he still had clothes on. She clawed at his back until she got handfuls of his t-shirt and yanked at it.

His arms, braced on either side of her head, prevented her from pulling it off. But she kept pulling at it insistently, whimpering in frustration.

Her arousal pulsed so deeply it hurt, and her whole body felt overly sensitized and blazing with heat. It wasn’t anything like the limp, glazed desire she’d felt earlier with Drayton. The sensations possessing her now were alive, pounding, driving her into action.

When he leaned up briefly to pull his shirt off over his head with one hand, she grabbed for his jeans and fumbled at unfastening them.

She’d just gotten them open and pushed down his boxers when he leaned down over her once more. With an almost animalistic heat in his eyes, he stared down at her mostly naked body, sprawled wantonly beneath him, halfway off the bed. Then he reached down and took her panties in both hands.

Her mouth fell open and her pussy grew wetter even before he ripped her panties at the seam. When he ripped the second seam and pulled the remnants of satin away from her skin, she grabbed greedily for his cock, unable to stop herself from snatching what she wanted.

He took her arms before they’d reached their target and stretched them on the bed above her head. Then, holding her in place with one hand braced on her wrists, he used his other hand to push her legs apart and fully free his cock.

She lay splayed beneath him, trapped completely by his strength and more aroused because of it. Her pussy was so wet it was almost embarrassing, and the cool air of the cabin only fueled her need and the excitement of exposure.

After just a moment of raking his eyes over her face and body, Mike lined his cock up at her entrance and, without warning or preparation, thrust inside her hard.