Finding You (By You #3) (12 page)

Sarah ran her hand along his cheek. Her fingers slid down along his jaw until they came around to his lips. He kissed the tip of her finger as she traced a tiny circle around his lips.

"Well I'm here right now, and you don't have to scream anything. I'm not leaving."

Jeremy felt a stirring inside of him when she said it. It was like something in him had awoken after a long, deep sleep.

He pushed one side of her hair back and cupped the back of her head in his hand. When she smiled at him again, he realized he had never thought it would be possible for him to be this happy. Not again. Not after the last time.

Sarah leaned back as Jeremy climbed onto the bed next to her. Their lips were attached the entire time, and she wanted to pull his body on top of hers. Her heart was pounding in her chest like this was the first time she'd ever kissed a guy.

Jeremy's kisses were soft and sweet. They were gentle and honest, like the way he treated her. His hands slid along her shoulders while his lips made their way down her neck, nipping and pecking all along the side. A shiver went through her body when they found her collarbone and he began working his way to the other side.

A warm buzzing pulsed in her chest and spread down through her gut, and then down even farther. She'd felt that feeling before, and she knew exactly what it was. A tiny moan escaped her lips, and Jeremy continued kissing, taking it for a sign that he was doing something right. Sarah's mouth opened, and she could feel her back arching at his touch. Her legs were already tensed and aching against his body--his rock hard body. She didn't realize that he was in such good shape--even the few times that they'd hugged or brushed against each other. His slight frame hid the muscles that she felt rippling against her right then.

Jeremy's head slipped even lower along the outside of her shirt. He kissed down between her breasts, and down to her stomach. Her hands rippled through his hair, and she let out another gasp.

The warning bells were going off in her head again. They'd been going off almost nonstop since they'd kissed at the Water Wall. She'd gotten used to the nervous tension in her head, but it was the pulsating in her hips that concerned her most.

"Jeremy, wait," she said.

He looked up at her with those crystal blue eyes, and her breath caught in her throat for a moment. His eyes were wide, and if she didn't know any better, she could have swore that he actually looked...concerned?

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, you're fine. It's just..." She didn't know how to say it without making herself sound like some kind of crazy prude. Maybe she shouldn't say anything at all? After all, isn't that what had made things worse with Huck? Maybe it was time that she grew up and started acting like an adult?

But she couldn't do that. It just wasn't how she felt, and she had to be true to herself before anything else.

"It's just...this is the first time we've even made out. I don't want to rush into anything."

Jeremy let his hands slide along her sides until his fingers made tiny swirls on her stomach. The grin on his face was suspiciously calm, and it made her feel even more uncomfortable, but she wasn't sure why.

"I don't want to rush into anything, either," he said. His voice was low.

He kissed her stomach again, his lips making a tiny popping sound as they did. It sent tingles through her abdomen, and she let out a breath. "The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable in any way. So I'm just going to keep kissing you until you start feeling like we've gone far enough." He kissed her again, this time even lower than before, sending a new wave of tingles running through her body. "I'm going to stop as soon as you tell me to--" Another kiss. "--and not a second sooner."

Sarah's eyes went wide as she watched his tongue trace a small line down beneath her belly button. The trail it left was pure heat and furious passion. Her back arched even more when his tongue reached the top of her jeans.

With those few simple words, Jeremy had managed to put all of her worries to rest. They had washed away like they were just childish concerns that didn't really matter anymore. Huck would have made a big deal about it--but not Jeremy. He was different in almost every single way. He was
better
in almost every single way.

As Sarah's eyes rolled into the back of her head, she knew that she wasn't going to be stopping him any time soon. Even if she wanted to, she wasn't sure that she'd be able to bring herself to actually do it. Jeremy's tongue was magical, just like the rest of him, and as he went lower and lower, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she felt a tight, tingling sensation deep between her legs.

She'd never felt
that
before.
That
was new.

And by the time Jeremy was done with her, she'd lost count of just how many times he'd made her quiver in ecstasy.

Jeremy slumped to her side when Sarah was finally able to pry him away from her. She was breathless, her chest heaving up and down from everything he had just put her through.

"You. Are. Incredible," she said.
 

He let out a laugh.
 

"I'm serious," she said. "That was...holy wow."

He grinned at her. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself."

Her eyes went wide as she looked at him. "I've never felt anything like that, before. Huck never even did that for me. It was just...I'm speechless."

"The more you tell me about your ex, the more it sounds like he was a self-centered asshole."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "You can say that again. I don't know why it took me so long to realize it." She grinned at him. "But you don't have anything to worry about--you definitely know what you're doing. He could never have done what you just did."

The smile in Jeremy's eyes dimmed, and he gave her a serious look.

"Look, I want you to be able to share whatever you want with me--I want you to be able to talk about whatever is on your mind--but I have to be honest... I really don't like talking about your ex."

Sarah bit her lip and realized, for the first time, just how selfish
she
was being. Was she treating him the same way that Huck had been treating her? It occurred to her right then that she couldn't remember him ever actually saying Huck's name, before. Jeremy always referred to Huck as
her ex
, never by his name. She should have picked up on that a lot faster, and she couldn't believe that she hadn't. Of course she was being a selfish bitch, and Jeremy was handling it like an adult.

"I'm so sorry," she said. She shook her head. "I've been a total bitch, I can't believe I didn't even realize it. I'm so sorry."

The smile returned to his face and he ran his fingers through her hair.

"You're fine," he said. "I just wanted to make sure you knew how I felt about it. I don't want to sit here getting upset over absolutely nothing, and then have you worried about it."

She let out a soft sigh, and studied him some more. "You're almost too much for me."

His head tilted back, his eyes wide with surprise. "What do you mean?"

"It's just...I know you don't want me talking about him, but Huck is my only point of reference and...I won't keep bringing him up, I promise, but...you're just so much more mature than him. I don't know what it's like to be in a mature, adult relationship. It's...nice." Sarah hoped he didn't take what she was saying the wrong way. "I promise I won't bring him up again. I just want you to know that you're so much more than he could ever be."

The look on Jeremy's face went from confusion, to concern. His brow pinched together and his eyes looked quickly between hers.

"So we're in a relationship?" he said.

Sarah's stomach felt like it was going to twist into knots and start doing circles on itself.

"I...I didn't mean it like that," she said, quickly. "It was just--" she shook her head, "--I don't know what it was."

A grin spread across his face, and he twisted his fingers through her hair some more. "I'm just teasing you. I know it was just a figure of speech."

Sarah let out a relieved laugh and she punched him on the arm.

"Ow, come on now. I do all that stuff for you and get repaid with violence?"

She bit her lip with excitement. "Oh, no. You'll get repaid just fine. But...maybe not tonight."

The smile in his eyes didn't falter for even an instant. "I'd wait for you until we were both old and gray if I had to."

Jeremy wrapped his fingers around the back of her head and pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss. Sarah's heart felt like it was going to punch its way straight through her chest. How was it possible that one guy could say so many perfect things--could
do
so many perfect things--without expecting anything in return?

When they finally pulled apart and she looked him in the eye, she knew there was something...more...there. More significant. More meaningful. More...everything. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she'd never quite felt that way before, and she didn't want the feeling to ever go away.

But along with her fear of it going away, crept other fears. The same fears she'd been trying to shield herself from after everything that happened with Huck. How could she give her heart to someone who was keeping things from her? The other fears that she had been desperately trying to protect herself from ever since everything had happened with Huck.

Sarah's thoughts flashed back on earlier that afternoon, standing outside the corral, talking with Jonny Mae. The lady had known Jeremy since he was young, and she'd mentioned something that had bothered Sarah more than a little. She'd mentioned an accident, and it had sounded serious. Sarah still wondered what she was talking about--it was eating her up inside.

"You look like something's bothering you," Jeremy said, breaking the silence. Those eyes of his were doing that trick where they seemed to know exactly what she was thinking.

She gave him a nervous smile, and shifted in bed next to him.

"I was just thinking about something that happened earlier."

"Something bad?"

She looked at him for a long, drawn out time before answering.

"I don't know. I don't think so--I hope not--but I don't know."

Now it was Jeremy's turn to look confused and worried. His brow knitted together and he propped himself up on his elbow to study her more intently.

"Well, what is it? Maybe I can help."

"Maybe," she said, giving him a soft smile. She took a second to compose her thoughts, then said, "When you were riding, I was talking with Jonny Mae." She gave him a nervous look, her heart racing under his stare. "It wasn't a big deal or anything...it's just that she mentioned something in passing that sounded a little out of place and I wanted to ask you about it."

He gave her a confused look, the hint of a nervous smile.

"Well, what was it?" he asked.

"She said something about an accident..." Sarah studied him to see if there was any sign that he knew what she was talking about before pressing on--his face remained neutral. "She said that she hasn't seen you look so happy since the accident. It sounded like it was something pretty serious, but you've never mentioned anything before." Sarah shrugged. "So I just thought I would ask you about it."

Jeremy studied her for a minute without saying anything. She couldn't read the expression on his face, but she didn't get the impression that it was a good one.

"Did she say anything else?" he asked.

"Anything else about what?"

"About the accident. Did she say anything else about it?"

Sarah shook her head. "She didn't really say much about it at all, other than that there was one. But she was surprised when I told her that I hadn't heard anything about it."

He shrugged a shoulder, giving her an uncertain look. "I took a bad fall back when I was still riding, but I don't know why she'd make a big deal out of it."

"That's it? You just had an accident while riding? It wasn't anything else."

He thought about it for a second, then shook his head. "Nothing else comes to mind. I was still a kid and recovered pretty fast, just a broken leg. I stopped riding around the same time, though."

Sarah frowned. He was right, that really didn't sound like a big deal at all. Maybe she really had been overthinking the whole thing? Blowing it all out of proportion until it seemed huge in her head. Perhaps she should have just brought I up right away.

She gave him a smile, then, and he hugged her tight to his body. They laid there for what felt like another hour before either of them stirred, again. They were both starting to drift towards sleep, and she knew she needed to get going or she was going to end up staying the whole night.

A grin spread across her face as she thought about waking up next to Jeremy. It was a pleasant thought, but still premature. This was a first date, and she'd already done a lot more than she had thought she would. There would be plenty of time for sleeping over in the future.

"I should get going," she said, sleepily.

He gave her a sad look. "Stay," he said. "I promise I don't bite."

She let out a soft breath. "I want to, but not yet."

He studied her for a second, then nodded.

"I'll walk you out."

She grinned at him, and they both got their clothes sorted out and put back on. It was sweet of him to offer to walk her out. That was another thing Huck wouldn't have done for her--he would have just sent her on her way. No! She had to stop comparing him to Huck. She already knew he was better in every way, and she needed to stop thinking about her ex. It was just hard because that was the only real experience with a guy that she had--it wasn't that she was still interested in him or anything, she most certainly was not.

Sarah clung to Jeremy's arm as they walked out to her car. The muggy heat from earlier in the evening had mostly dissipated, and it had turned into one of the most perfect nights of the year. She stole little smiles at him as they walked, and knew he was one of the reasons it had been so nice.