Finding You (10 page)

13 - Charlie

‘Marvellous to have you back.’ Angus’s warm grip on my hand as I join him for lunch is just a split second longer than it needs to be. Either they’re missing me more than I imagined or there’s more going on at the Drapers Street clinic than anyone’s let on so far. There have been a few changes while I’ve been away, I’ve noticed that much, both structurally to the building and amongst the staff.

‘Seriously, I’m heartily glad to see you, Charles. And not only me. Some of the clientele have noticed you’ve been gone for a long while and they’ve have been none too happy, I can tell you.’

I pull a wry face. ‘It’s good to be appreciated, I’m sure.’

My boss looks up with a smile, slicking back his hair smartly as the waitress delivers our order to the table, and I’m reminded of Julia’s nickname for him:
Silver Fox
. The vegetarian bistro that he’s brought me to is very upmarket. Soft lighting. Impeccable décor. This is where he brings people when he wants to schmooze them, I’m thinking. I wonder when he’s going to open up and tell me what exactly he was alluding to as we drove down here half an hour ago.
I’ve a bit of good news for you
, he’d forewarned me,
and a bit of not-so-good news
. 

Whatever it is, right now, Angus seems in no real hurry to share either of them.

‘Some of these women do get
attached
to their surgeon, as you know. I’m damn sure a few of them even have procedures done just so they can get to spend time with some of us.’ He plunges his fork into his mushroom stroganoff and the aroma alone, I reflect, is worth the five stars awarded to this restaurant.

‘Hardly a healthy state of affairs,’ I mutter.

‘No,’ he agrees. ‘But it’s the way of the world, isn’t it?’ He pauses, fork halfway to his mouth, and adds feelingly, ‘I was worried we might have lost you there for a bit, in all honesty.’

‘Lost
me?
’ I’m concentrating on the food, savouring every mouthful of it. I was hungrier than I realised. I should bring Julia out here, I think. Bring her here on a date and wine and dine her …

‘I mean when your whole life went tits-up last year. It was touch and go for a while there, wasn’t it? Whether you’d ever come back to work at Drapers Street after you took all those weeks off. I really thought you wouldn’t. And that would have been a great loss to us.’

‘I always intended to come back, Angus.’ I wave away the bread basket and Angus leans in a little closer.

‘Then let us just say: it looked for a while as if things weren’t going to work out as you had  i
ntended
…’

‘No.’ I give a short laugh. ‘A lot of it hasn’t. That’s true.’ I eat on in silence for a few minutes and he sips at his drink, watching me thoughtfully.

‘Things are working out now though, aren’t they, Charles?’

‘Pretty much.’ I wipe at my mouth with the napkin.

‘Hadyn’s healthy. He’s settling in well?’

I nod. ‘He’s perfect, Angus. He’s ... he’s everything we could have hoped for. He doesn’t always sleep all that well,’ I own after a while. ‘And
that
doesn’t go down too well with his mum.’

‘I can imagine.’

‘Julia doesn’t function particularly well without sleep,’ I smile ruefully. ‘She can’t understand how he can.’  

‘She never underwent basic doctor’s training, eh?’ He shoots me a wry grin and I acknowledge that with a nod.

‘Hmm. A Houseman’s year of sleepless torture in some inner city A and E should be
de rigueur
for any prospective parent, wouldn’t you say?’ I chuckle.

Angus sips at his drink, watching me thoughtfully. ‘Wouldn’t hurt to get Hadyn checked out in case there’s any basic underlying medical reason for it, though? We all know he’s still settling in. But sleeplessness is never pleasant, is it?’

‘Exactly my thoughts,’ I agree. ‘There’s nothing I can find, and Julia’s taking him down for our GP to take a look this morning, but maybe some of your old colleagues at ENT would also be prepared to take a look?’

‘I’d be delighted to ask them for you, old boy. Anything at alI I can do to help. And you’re right, blocked airways due to inflammation or what-have-you can be a common cause of children waking at night. If he’s all fine apart from that, I shouldn’t worry too much.’

‘He is. He’s physically robust. Perfect in every way.’  I pause. ‘He doesn’t speak much anymore, I will admit,’ I concede after a bit. ‘And
that
bugs his Mum, too.’

‘Not you, though?’ Angus leans back in his chair, looks at me appraisingly. 

‘Na. In my opinion, Angus, it’s hardly any wonder the poor boy’s not sleeping and he’s not talking yet. How must it have been for him, being snatched away from his loving home and subjected to living with a group of people who …’  I trail off, aware that his face is riveted to mine and he’s watching my expressions intently.  ‘Let’s just say they come from a different social strata.’  

‘A bit of culture shock, you think?’

‘In all honesty, I don’t know. I don’t imagine it could have been too comfortable for him. Did you know, the day they took him, they carried him off in a beach bag, for Christ’s sake …’ I shake my head, determined not to let the anger come creeping back in again. Anger at what happened, and then anger at what could have been. At how those bastards nearly ruined my only son’s whole damn life. They could have. They could so easily have got away with it, if it had not been for his persevering mother.

‘So in all likelihood …’ Angus inserts gently, ‘All the little problems you’re experiencing now are probably going to vanish after a period of adjustment?’

‘It seems the most likely scenario, doesn’t it?’

He nods encouragingly. ‘You’ll be consulting with your own people: GP, health visitor et cetera, no doubt. But if you or Julia need any advice in the arena of
adjustment
, you could do worse than have a chat with the very well-qualified and well-informed Dr Killman we’ve now got attending at the clinic every Wednesday and Friday afternoon.’   

‘I haven’t met him ...’ I look at Angus curiously. ‘He’s a surgeon? What’s his area of expertise, did you say?’

‘Her,’ Angus corrects. ‘And she’s not a medical doctor. She has a PhD in Self-image and Behavioural studies, and she’s a qualified counsellor to boot. HR thought she’d make a useful addition to the team. Make sure people really know what they’re getting into before undergoing surgery that radically alters their appearance, dealing with potential problems, expectations versus reality et cetera ...’    

‘Right,’ I say, non-plussed. Hadyn’s too young to have any use for a counsellor, surely? And I can’t imagine he has any self-image issues ...

‘What I believe my son needs most is to be around kids of his own age group, being spoken to in his own language, and it won’t be too long before he’s back on track again.’

‘I agree. Katie suggested that I urge you and Julia to place him in a good nursery as soon as it might be done,’ Angus recalls. He looks pleased with himself that he’s remembered to pass on this little nugget of advice from his wife. ‘She says all that running around with other kids will wear him out so hopefully, you’ll soon see the improvements at nighttime. It worked wonders for the grandkids. Apparently.’

‘Tell Katie thank you,’ I tell him, glad that he’s brought it up.  I’ve been telling Julia the exact same thing. ‘It’s one of the things Julia’s got on her list. She’s adamant she needs to find the right place first, though.’

‘After what she’s been through, she’s entitled to be fussy,’ he concedes.

‘Speaking of which.’ I lean my elbow on the table, move in a little closer to him. ‘I take it your brother-in-law is still deputy head at Trinity-St Marks?’

Angus looks mightily pleased.  ‘I wondered when you’d ask. You want Hadyn’s name put down for a place? Pleased to put you forward, old son. You’ve left it a tad late, you know. Some of them put the names down as soon as the scan’s confirmed the sex of the child, but still … seeing as it’s you. They get a seventy percent Oxbridge offer rate in the sixth form, you know.’

‘I know.’

‘You’d want to board him, would you? From what age?’

‘No boarding,’ I say immediately. ‘I hated that experience myself. I’m thinking he could attend as a day pupil.’

‘Oh.’ He looks a little surprised. ‘No matter, they do take day boys. I’ll do what I can.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I’m just glad to see you back,’ he says again. ‘From what I heard, things could have taken much longer in Spain then they did?’

I take a slug of my soda water. He’s right about that much.  ‘My brother pulled a few strings for us,’ I admit.

Angus nods, takes me in curiously. ‘So I heard. And Santos too.  Now I learn you’ve let all your Esperanza work slide, as well?’

‘The charity work for Esperanza became all-consuming in the end, Angus. I had to let it go.’

‘I understand completely.’ We each tuck into our meal for a while. There’s a small flurry while some guests leave and new ones arrive, all dealt with efficiently and quickly; there’s an inherent sense of calmness and order about the place that I could see appealing very much to Angus’s style. He hates fussiness and untidiness, appreciates work that is cleanly and tastefully done, redolent of quality. That’s why he picks his staff with such care and hates it if any of them ever have to give notice. Perhaps I
am
being schmoozed today, after all, I think?

‘A family man always has to make choices,’ he concedes after a bit.      

‘I do have some regrets about having to give up on Esperanza ,’ I say at last. It’s been going round in my mind since he brought it up. ‘My main priority from now on has got to be my son, Angus. I hope I’ve learned at least that much from the mistakes I’ve made around him.’

My boss looks at me with tragic eyes. His next comment, after the briefest silence, is heartfelt.  ‘It was never your fault he went missing, Charles.’

I shake my head. Maybe not exactly my
fault
, but, ‘If I’d stuck to my guns and kept to the family holiday I’d promised Julia … it never would have occurred. It only happened when I left them alone in Spain.’

He holds up his hands, wipes around the edges of his mouth apologetically. ‘I have long regretted that I ever asked you to cut your holiday short to come back to do that work, Charles.’

‘It was always my prerogative to refuse the request,’ I take on hastily. ‘I’m not about laying blame for my mistakes. I’m about learning from them, that’s all.’ He inclines his head and I continue, say a little more than maybe I’d normally be inclined to say.  ‘My own dad never had the time to spend with me, Angus. He was an excellent doctor. A good and caring man. But he never spent the
time
. And that’s something I’ve come to learn is far more precious than any amount of money spent on you afterwards. My task now is to enable whatever needs to be done to help Hadyn get back on track. I want to be a good dad,’ I tell him earnestly.

My boss has been listening intently. He nods. ‘You
are
a good dad,’ he asserts.  ‘And I hope you still plan one day soon to make a good husband to his mother, too?’ he adds.

I hesitate.‘That too.’

‘Don’t put that bit off for too long, will you?’

I smile sadly. ‘I’d marry her tomorrow,’ I admit. ‘I’d marry her in a heartbeat.’

Angus does not quite return my smile.  ‘I do hope it is not the case that Julia is not so keen to be wed anymore? Women sometimes ... they can go off the boil on these things ...’ he trails off. Then adds, before I can answer, ‘I did mention there were some matters I needed to bring up with you today Charles, and I suppose this is as good a time as any.’ He pauses briefly, finding a clear space on the table to deposit his napkin. ‘I’m going to be leaving the firm, old boy. In about six months.’

I look at him, shocked, and he waves my next question away before I get the chance to ask it.

‘Family considerations, health considerations, you name it. I don’t need the money anymore, Charles, and I don’t need to work full-time. I’ll come back in the occasional consultant capacity, but the key thing for you here is that there is going to be a partnership opportunity opening up.’

I swallow, but I don’t say anything.

Is he considering me?
  

‘I’ve always intended to put you forward, naturally. Your recent enforced absence hasn’t helped my case, I’ll be candid. Giving up Esperanza has, as you’ll have more time to devote. You being a married man would also help enormously. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’d be a pre-requisite. Call them old-fashioned maybe, but the other partners at this practice prefer it, Charles, for all sorts of reasons. It speaks of more stability, perhaps.’ He shoots me a faint smile. ‘Disarms potentially jealous husbands who’re going to be paying for the treatment ...’ He pauses. ‘It’s a lot to take in, yes?’

I draw in a breath. ‘She’ll marry me. We haven’t got round to it,’ I say. ‘I need to talk to her. There are some … things I need to bring up with her, Angus. I was waiting for the right time, that’s all.’

‘No time like the present, eh? Speaking of timing,’ I see him lean over and call for the bill, ‘It’s nearly two p.m., and so my delightful break with you is nearly over, I’m afraid. I’ve got a two-thirty nose job followed by a couple of eyelid lifts this afternoon. How about you?’