Finding West (16 page)

18

WEST

To prepare for my first day of work, Kat and I drove down to Anchorage to go clothes shopping. I said I could get by with her father’s things for a while—at least, until I started to earn a wage—but she’d insisted, and when Kat insisted, I could never say no.

Anchorage, for being the biggest city in the biggest state of the USA, was actually quite underwhelming. The view
of the mountains and the bay, however, more than made up for it.

She took me to the Fifth Avenue Mall, which was quite nice inside, and we paid a visit to a few different stores carrying men’s apparel. In less time than the
fifty-five minute drive from Ayashe, we had acquired two pants, underwear, two long-sleeved shirts, a pair of tennis shoes; we were done.

“Hey, what’s the rush?” I asked Kat as she hightailed it out of
JC Penney’s.

She ducked out of the way of traffic, standing against a wall. “I just hate crowds,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “Nope, people. I meant to say I hate people.”

I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around her, blocking her view of everything but me. “Better?”

She pressed her face into my chest and nodded.

I rubbed her back in a circular motion. “Have you always been agoraphobic?”

“Not always. I was fine up until the Monday after the senior prom, when everyone in the halls were staring at me. Some kids were laughing, most were whispering to each other. A few came right out and called
me a slut—all because of a stupid rumor.” She gave a shrug that didn’t quite appear as nonchalant as she’d have me believe. “I thought I’d be okay to come back here after all these years, but now I’m not so sure.” Her eyes darted past me to people walking by and enjoying their Saturday afternoon.

“What are you afraid of?”

She scowled. “I’m not afraid. I just don’t want to run into anyone I know. I don’t want it to be high school all over again.”

“You’re forgetting something,” I said with a reassuring smile. “You have me now, and I’ll kick anyone’s ass who dares make fun o
f you.” I took her hand in mine and tugged her away from the wall, leading her back into society.

Kat came reluctantly, but after
thirty seconds her chin lifted and her stride relaxed.

“Feel better?”
I asked, smiling down at her.

She squeezed my hand in response.

We passed by a few food stands when I noticed a man sitting at bench, watching us. He was around our age with spiky blond hair and a deep tan, dressed like he’d just stepped out of a high-end outdoor apparel catalogue. He watched Kat and me openly, then when Kat had her head turned away, flashed a toothy smile and a thumbs-up sign. He then lifted his cell phone and took a photo.

I gathered Kat to my side and steered her away, hoping to hell she didn’t notice. When I looked over my shoulder,
the man was still looking but now wore a quizzical look on his face.

That Monday I woke up at six and, as gently as possible, disentangled my limbs from Kat’s to get ready for work. Josie didn’t bother lifting her head to give me a curious look as I walked naked across the room. When I reached the door I looked back at Kat, tracing her feminine form under the quilt with appreciative eyes. There was something utterly beautiful about her vulnerability in sleep, when her shields were down and her face finally relaxed.

I was only going to work at the grocery store for a few hours, but already I couldn’
t wait to come home to her again. No doubt about it, I was most definitely a smitten fool.

After a shower
I looked in the mirror for the first time in a few days and studied the beard that was starting to grow back. My cock jumped at the anticipation of Kat shaving me once more, maybe even while she sat on my lap.

On the way out
I stepped on something cold and found a quarter stuck under my foot. I grabbed it and set it atop the bathroom counter, watching it spinning with a metallic clanging until it came to a stop.

The
memory hit me with the force of a freight train.

I took a sip of my bourbon and spun a quarter on the dark wood surface of the
bar, contemplating what song I would choose at the jukebox to accompany my seduction of the woman in red two seats down.

“
Luke Harrington!” My friend Decker’s voice carried over the din at the bar, his usual way of announcing his arrival. “That is a righteous Novembeard you are sporting there,” he said, smacking me hard on the back.

“Thanks, man,” I said,
rubbing my face but still distracted by the hottie with auburn hair.

He followed the direction of my gaze and gave me a knowing smile.
“Target acquired.”

“Most definitely.”

“Figured out your plan of attack yet?”

I
flicked the coin in the air and caught it. “Nah. I think I’ll just wing it,” I said, standing up and straightening my gray suit jacket. “I feel like a challenge tonight.”

I stared at my reflectio
n in the mirror, my eyes wide in shock. I scraped a palm along the growth on my face, reminded that my friends and I had grown a beard every year in November to see who could have the bushiest at the end of the month.

And my name—I was Luke Harrington. I remembered now.

As I mulled over the memory, I couldn’t help but feel like there was more to it that I wasn’t remembering, like there was a barrier in place to keep me from seeing the big picture. I had a feeling that, whatever it was, it would unlock my memories and finally answer some big questions about my identity.

I didn’t tell Kat. Instead I kissed her goodbye and went to town as if nothing had happened, turning the flashback over and over in my mind while I restocked the shelves with a name badge on my chest. The townspeople who came in to the store were curious about me. One older woman with dark skin and silver-streaked black hair went as far as directly asking me about my relationship with Kat.

“I’m her boyfriend,”
I said without elaborating.

She glanced down at my name tag.
“And how long have you been together, West?”

“
Not too long actually.”

She
absently picked a can of corn off the shelf and said, “I never thought I’d see the day that young woman ever have a man around the house. I thought for sure she’d end up like me.”

“Why is that?”

“She keeps to herself. I heard she has a father in jail. Maybe she’s ashamed of him, who knows.” She shrugged and put the corn back on the shelf then patted my arm. “Well, you take good care of our Kat, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Before she could leave the store—without actually having bought anything, I noticed—I called out to her, “By the way, she’s not ashamed of her dad. He went to jail trying to
defend her.”

The woman smiled. “Well I’m glad she has you to protect her now.”

But as she left, I wondered if maybe it was the other way around. Maybe Kat needed protecting from me.

I found Kat working out in the shed when I came back. Without interrupting her I ran inside the house to change into a pair of sweats and tennis shoes and came out to join her, glad to have a reason to put off talking for a while.

I watched her for a few minutes while she swung a
large kettlebell straight overhead. When she finished, she pointed to a small whiteboard nailed to the wall. “There’s the workout. As many reps as possible for three minutes. One minute rest.” She then went down to the floor into a push-up position.

I crouched beside her
. “How many?”

“Trying for
forty.”

She blew through the first twenty pushups with ease but slowed down a little. At twenty-five, I started to make pained, groaning noises, trying to break her concentration.

“Shutupshutupshutup,” she gritted through her teeth, her arms shaking as she pushed back up. I continued with the teasing until she collapsed on the mat, one rep shy of her goal. “You peckerhead,” she gasped and punched me in the arm.

I laughed
and held out my hand to help her up. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

When next she looked up
I noticed something different about her, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“You alright?”

She nodded and continued with her workout.

Because I wouldn’t get an an
swer anyway I followed along, performing as many burpees as I could in three minutes. I soon lost myself to the haze of the workout, that love-hate feeling as sweat drips in your eyes and your lungs burn. My body responded enthusiastically, as a sports car responds to a track after many months of being stuck in a garage.

Kat finished
sooner and watched me quietly for a few minutes. I flicked glances towards her every available chance, unable to shake the feeling that something was bothering her.

I flexed and winked to take that look off her face but only succeeded in drawing lines between her eyebrows.

“How was work?” she asked instead.

I abandoned my workout and walked over to where she stood. “
It was fine. Now can you please tell me what’s bothering you?”

“
It doesn’t matter.” She stalked right out of the shed and into the house. I was right at her heels, seriously contemplating grabbing her ponytail to keep her from running. She stopped in the living room, facing the window with her arms crossed.

I came up
from behind and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing the salty skin on her neck. “It matters because you matter. I endeavor to keep you happy and sated at all times.”

She
turned and pressed herself to me unexpectedly, the warmth of her body a pleasant surprise. “Then satisfy me,” she said, inching her hands under my shirt.

I tugged on her ponytail to tilt
up her face, searching for clues. But whatever secret she was harboring was now hidden behind an expression of desire and, whether feigned or not, my body responded in kind. With my hand still wrapped around her hair I grabbed her chin and captured her mouth. If she wouldn’t use her mouth to talk, then I would utilize it in other ways. I pulled away and gazed at her intently as I put my hand on her head and urged her downward.

Kat’s eyes flashed with understanding, but instead of shaking her head and making
me
go down instead like I expected, she surprised me by sinking slowly to her knees. She pulled down my sweat pants and wrapped her lips around my dick without preamble.

I wanted to stay in the moment, to remember that my priority was discovering her issue, but the feel of her warm, wet mouth gave me tunnel vision. All I
saw, all that existed, was Kat, her lips, and her tongue.

“Fuck, yes,” I groaned, twisting he
r hair around my hand like rope and holding on for dear life. I could definitely say—and with history to back it up—that I’d never experienced sex like this before. With Kat my senses were heightened by my feelings for her so that every kiss, every touch was more electric, vital.

I pulled
away and dropped down in front of her, grabbing her by the back of the neck and joining her mouth with mine. My tongue stroked hers over and over as I poured every ounce of emotion into that kiss so that she would never have reason to question my love.

Never in all my life had I felt this way about anyone,
and the need to express it was burning through my veins. She might never know just how much I needed her, but I could attempt to show her.

I laid
her gently down on the rug, cradling the back of her head with my hand. I undressed her with slow deliberation, tracing my fingers along the valleys on her body, still damp from her workout.

Her blue gaze followed my hand as it dipped between her legs; she gasped when I slipped two fingers inside
her and flicked them up so that they were caressing her g-spot. Her hips came up off the floor as I fucked her with my fingers, her eyes closed, her forehead wrinkled in ecstasy.

She looked so beautiful in that moment, so open and honest.
I bent down and wrapped my mouth around one perfect nipple, flicking it with my tongue before giving it a gentle bite.

“
Inside me,” she breathed. “Now.”

She didn’t need to ask me twice.
I plunged into her, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth from the overwhelming feeling of being engulfed by her warm flesh. Pleasure rushed through my veins, the sensation of being inside a woman never more gratifying than at that moment.

“West.”

I opened my eyes and realized why it was I’d never felt this kind of sensitivity before. I tried to pull out, to amend the situation, when Kat’s feet hooked over my back and locked me in place.

She shook her head, her eyes full of melancholy. “Stay.”