Finding the Way Back (Book 1 in the Forgiving Hearts Trilogy) (17 page)

Her eyes flew open. She wasn’t in her apartment; she was still with Colton. Her glance pierced the semi-darkness and came to rest on the figure sitting adjacent to her, an empty glass dangling from his fingers. He was staring straight ahead, apparently lost in thought.

“How long have I been asleep?”

Laughing softly, he answered, “Almost two hours.”

“Oh, no! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You know why,” Colton returned in a low voice.

Had he sat there the entire time and watched her sleep? She pushed the blanket away and sat up. “I slept through dinner and the ballgame.”

“South Carolina won 27-14. Are you hungry? I wrapped up your plate; it’s no trouble to get it out again.”

“I can come to the kitchen,” she offered.

“It will be more comfortable to eat here. The bathroom is down the hall and to the right.”

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she let out a subdued scream. Her face was pink from sleep, her lipstick long gone and her hair all over the place. It was a good thing he’d already seen her at her worst or he’d probably run from the house.

Laurel returned to find her food waiting, but no Colton. Thinking he was checking on the animals, she started eating. By the time she finished, he still hadn’t made an appearance. Was he avoiding her? That didn’t make sense given that he’d invited her over. When she carried her plate into the kitchen, he was loading the dishwasher.

He glanced in her direction and smiled. “All finished?”

She tried to gauge his mood, but couldn’t figure out what was different about him. Was he upset or just tired? He’d done so much work and hadn’t even received a decent conversation in return. “Yes, everything was delicious. You did something different with the spinach dip.”

“If I did, it wasn’t intentional. I made it from memory.”

“Can I help you do anything?”

“Nope; it’s all done.” He closed the drawers of the dishwasher, loaded detergent into the dispenser and turned it on.

“I’m sorry for falling asleep.”

Without looking at her, he moved across the kitchen to close the blinds. “Don’t be. You were tired, and you felt comfortable enough with me to sleep. I’ll take that any day.”

“Are you almost done in here? I’d like to talk to you about something, and it would be easier if we’re sitting down.”

“In that case, let’s go back to the family room.”

* * * *

This time Laurel sat down on the end of the couch closest to his chair. This should have pleased him; instead, it sent a wave of panic through him. Colton held his breath as he waited for her to speak.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I handled what happened between us. In hindsight, I realize that I allowed one event in my life to overshadow everything else. That was my first mistake. My second one was thinking that your actions went beyond forgiveness. I took it upon myself to judge you and that wasn’t right.

“No matter how I perceive what you did, in God’s eyes your sin is no worse than any of mine. It was wrong of me to refuse to forgive you, and I’m sorry for the pain that decision cost you. I want you to know that I forgive you, Colton. Neither of us has to carry this burden anymore.”

A single tear made its way down his cheek. He glanced down to find his hands were shaking. “I never thought I’d hear you say that,” he whispered. His gaze moved past her. “I’d come to believe this was part of my penance – having to live the rest of my life without your forgiveness. I knew I’d never be truly happy again without it.” His glance came back to her face. “Words fail me, Laurel. I can’t even begin to express what this means – how deeply this touches me.”

In all her time with Colton, she’d never seen him so moved.
What had made her think his suffering was any less than hers?
As her eyes filled with tears, she said, “Patty told me something the other day about God making a symphony out of the most discordant notes. I didn’t see how it could apply to us, but now I think she was right. Maybe we can come away from this better people.”

“As long as we depend on God, I know we can. It’s when we try to do things on our own that we get into trouble.”

“I can relate to that.” Reaching for the box of tissues on the end table, she blotted her face. “Now I’ve got red eyes, blotchy skin and a stuffed-up nose.”

“And you still look beautiful,” he said softly.

Laurel smiled shakily. “I didn’t plan on telling you this tonight. It just sort of came out. That’s been happening to me a lot lately. I left Charleston to get away, and the first person I run into is you. Rose told me it was a sign. I didn’t want to believe it, but what else can it be?”

“It’s impossible to deny God’s hand in this. Why else would we both be here at the same time?”

“He picked a dramatic way to get our attention.”

“Very dramatic. I almost had a heart attack when I walked into the cubicle and saw you there.”

“I wasn’t very nice to you that day,” she admitted with a frown.

Colton smiled gently. “I don’t remember it that way.”

“Because you don’t want to. You don’t like to think badly about anyone.”

His face grew serious again. “I won’t ever forget this, Laurel.”

“It was too long in coming; I regret that as much as everything else.”

He shook his head. “The time wasn’t wasted; there was a purpose in this for both of us. For me, I needed to fully understand the damage caused by my actions. I haven’t enjoyed the past year, but it showed me how much I’d taken you and God for granted, and how quickly the things I love can be taken away.” He stood up reluctantly. “I hear the dogs whining. I need to let them out. You can come with me if you want.”

As they leaned against the railing of the deck, the puppy in Laurel’s arms, Colton’s cup of happiness was close to running over. Her forgiveness was a balm for a wound that was still trying to heal.

“I’m going to miss this little guy,” she observed, dropping a kiss on the puppy’s head. “I wish I could take him with me.”

“He’s going to miss you, too,” Colton said huskily, thinking of himself more than the puppy.

She moved beside him. “It’s late, and I need to get going.”

“Thanks for coming over, Laurel.”

“I should be thanking you. You did all the work.”

Following her to the door, Colton felt a level of nervousness that seemed absurd given their circumstances.
Why were his hands sweating?

As Laurel opened the door, she turned back to face him. “You were right, Colton.”

“About what?” he asked in surprise.

“We
can
learn to be friends again. Goodnight.”

* * * *

The next morning as Laurel sat beside Patty at church, her mind kept slipping back to the night before. For the first time, she’d been able to spend time with Colton without being plagued by memories of what he’d done. The atmosphere hadn’t been charged with undercurrents of tension. This was the closest she’d come to being truly comfortable with him.

The biggest surprise, however, was the way she felt after she told him she forgave him. At first, she’d only been aware of the satisfaction and peace that comes from doing the right thing. This had been followed by a sensation of freedom so vivid she could only describe it as having a heavy load lifted from her shoulders.
Were the layers of bitterness finally beginning to peel away from her heart?

After a quick lunch, she settled at the dining room table to grade papers, but even that task failed to hold all her attention. Every time she glanced up, she caught sight of the flowers Colton had sent and a soft smile touched her lips. His kindness, sense of humor, and charm were still very much in evidence, but it was his humility and patience in a challenging situation that drew her attention. Laurel found this new side of Colton intriguing, and she could no more stop herself from responding to him than she could stop herself from loving him.

Chapter Ten

Colton glanced at the smiling girl sitting next to him. With her typical disregard for notifying others of her plans, Taryn had shown up at his clinic just after lunch. Her explanation for not giving any notice of her arrival was also characteristic: she wanted to surprise them.

“Okay, Colton; we’ve discussed my classes, my love of Columbia, and my noninterest in any of the guys I’ve met. That’s more than enough small talk; I want to know what’s going on with you and Laurel.”

He laughed as he undid his seatbelt and removed his sunglasses. “I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.”

“I’ll just ask Laurel if you won’t tell me.”

“Let me know how far you get with that,” he retorted as he stepped out of the car.

Taryn waited until he came around and opened her door before she replied. “Oh, I will; I just won’t tell you what she says.”

“I’m glad to hear it. You better bring a jacket. It’s going to get cooler once the sun goes down.”

She reached into the back seat of the car. “What about you?”

“I’m fine.” He didn’t add that his state of anticipation was sufficient to keep him warm.

As they approached the gate, he noticed Patty collecting money for tickets. She glanced first at him and then at Taryn. Her smile slowly faded. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head.

“Hey, Patty. Can I get two tickets?”

“Ten dollars, please.”

He handed her the money and indicated the silent girl next to him. “Taryn is a friend of Laurel’s. She drove all the way from Columbia to surprise her. Do you know where we can find her?”

Patty seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Oh, how nice! Here are your tickets. Laurel is in the concession stand.”

“Thanks!”

Taryn giggled as they walked away. “Did you see her face? I believe she thought you’d brought your girlfriend to meet your wife.”

“That’s why I explained who you are. I don’t want any complications.”

She rolled her eyes. “What complications could there be? Anyone who has been around you at all knows you only have eyes for one woman.”

Taryn had no idea how her words tortured Colton. Her simple statement of faith in him hurt more than an accusation. Guilt crept over him like a foreboding shadow; if she only knew the depths to which he’d sunk.

“You know how easily gossip gets started,” he replied.

“Is that Laurel trying to light a grill?”

He glanced in the direction Taryn was pointing. “Yes; I hope she knows what she’s doing.”

“Let me hide behind you. I don’t want her to see me yet.”

“It’s too late. She’s looking this way.”

Colton waved at Laurel and then pointed to his companion. A look of disbelief passed over her face and then she was running toward them. Her eyes met his with a questioning glance as she drew Taryn into her arms for a hug.

“What are you doing here?” Laurel asked breathlessly.

“I wanted to surprise you. Happy Birthday!”

“My birthday isn’t for another month,” Laurel pointed out.

“This was my only free weekend so we’re celebrating early.”

Laurel turned to Colton. “Did you know about this?”

He shook his head. “She showed up unannounced at the clinic and told my secretary she was my daughter.”

“Taryn! You didn’t really say that, did you?”

“It was the fastest way to get to see him,” Taryn explained.

“When do you have to go back?” Laurel asked.

“Sunday afternoon. Can I stay with you?”

“Of course. I’ve got plenty of room.”

Colton decided to bring them back to reality. “Laurel, do you want me to light the grill?”

“Oh, the grill! I completely forgot. Yes, if you could get it going, that would be great.”

He joined them inside the concession stand a few minutes later. “I’ll do the cooking. I know you two want to talk without me around.”

Laurel handed him a foil-lined tray piled with hamburger patties and hotdogs. “Thanks, Colton. The customers will appreciate it, too. You’re ten times the grill cook I am.”

He smiled. “A compliment! You’re going to have me too excited to think straight.”

After he disappeared through the door, Taryn said, “It’s great to see you two together.”

Laurel walked over to check on the chili heating on the portable stove. “I know the last year has been hard on you. We disappointed so many people.”

Taryn waved that away. “You can’t worry about that. What matters is you and Colton.” She grabbed Laurel’s hands. “Now, enough serious talk. I came here to have fun.”

“I’m so glad you did. I mentioned to Colton only a week or so ago that I should invite you down for a weekend.”

“I’d have come before, but I don’t have much free time. I’m either in class or studying. Colton told me it would be difficult to work even part-time. He was right.”

“Does that mean you’re not working at the mall anymore?”

Taryn looked at her strangely. “I haven’t worked there in months. Colton has been helping me with what my student loan doesn’t cover. I assumed he told you.”

Laurel didn’t want to go into the reasons why he hadn’t told her. “He prefers to do things himself.”

“Both of you have done more for me than my own parents. They gave up on me – you never did. You believed in me.”

“You’ve justified that belief many times over.”

Colton came through the door. “Here’s the hotdogs. The first batch of burgers will be ready in a few minutes. The stands are starting to fill up. I think we’re going to have a busy night.”

“It sounds like you’re planning to stay and help,” Laurel said as she took the tray out of his hands.

“If that’s the only way to spend time with you, then yes I am.”

Taryn walked over and slipped her arm around his waist. “Isn’t he sweet, Laurel?”

Before she could answer, Patty appeared behind him. “Have you put your visitors to work?” she asked with a chuckle.

“We sort of volunteered,” Colton answered.

“That’s great. We might as well open up. There’s a small crowd outside, and it’s only ten minutes until game time.”

They lifted the heavy shades and opened the windows. There was an immediate reaction by those waiting and for a short while, there was no opportunity for conversation. Colton went back to the grill allowing the other three to handle the customers.

When the deluge of people ended, Laurel looked at Taryn. “You work so much faster than I do.”

Taryn laughed. “I was a waitress for four years. This is easy.”

Colton brought in the last of the hamburgers and put them under the warmer. “I think we’ve got enough for now.” He turned around to find three pairs of eyes watching him. “Should I leave again?”

“No, we’ve already discussed you,” Taryn assured him.

Laurel was quick to deny this. “We’ve been too busy to discuss anyone.” She noted the sheen of perspiration on his face. He hadn’t expected to be working over a hot grill after being on his feet all day. She dug a water bottle out of the ice and walked it over to him. “I should have thought of this sooner.”

He took it from her with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Laurel. I didn’t realize how warm I was until I walked in here.”

“I’ll do the next shift on the grill,” volunteered Taryn.

“I’m not so weak that I can’t handle another round or two,” protested Colton.

The booming voice of the P.A. announcer drew their attention to the field. The color guard was preparing for the national anthem. Taryn and Patty moved to stand together at one window, leaving Laurel alone at the other.

At some point between the singing of the anthem and the prayer, Colton appeared at her side. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his hand resting on the counter, the gold of his wedding band catching the light coming in from outside. The sight of it filled her with an unbearable ache. She could remember the fun they’d had picking out rings just as clearly as she could recall the thrill of sliding it on his finger during their wedding ceremony.

Tears pricked her eyes.
How easily her marriage vows had slipped from her lips!
At that time, she’d had only the vaguest idea what “for better or worse” means. She hadn’t known how bad things could get or how difficult it could be to stay in a marriage when every part of her wanted to leave. Sensing movement beside her, she blinked away the tears and grabbed a stack of napkins intent on refilling the dispenser. She couldn’t indulge in such sentimentality right now – not with three people watching her.

“They’re about to kick-off,” Colton announced.

Laurel turned back toward the window. “We don’t cover kicks very well. We’ve had two kick-offs returned for touchdowns.”

“This one won’t be a touchdown, but the other team has great field position.”

Glancing behind her and noting that Taryn was in an animated conversation with Patty, Laurel moved closer to Colton and lowered her voice. “Well, Taryn’s here; what about Phillip?”

“He should be at the condo within the hour.”

“How can we get them together without being too obvious?”

Colton smiled faintly at her conspiratorial tone. “You could come with us when we take the boat out tomorrow. I can invite Spence and Mallory to come, too. ”

“I think it would be better if Taryn only has one other person to focus on. We want her and Phillip to have an opportunity to get to know each other.”

“And if they dislike each other on sight, what then?”

“I’ll entertain Phillip, and you can visit with Taryn.”

He sighed heavily. “That won’t be nearly as enjoyable for me.”

“This isn’t about you; it’s about Taryn and Phillip.”

“I knew you were going to say that.”

She grinned at his woeful expression. “It will be good for us to focus on someone else other than ourselves for a change.”

“You’re right, but it’s difficult for me to think about anything other than us. I’m afraid I’ll wake up and discover I dreamed all of this.”

“Do you want me to pinch you so you’ll know it’s real?” she asked.

At this point, any kind of touch from you would be welcome,
he thought but didn’t say. “It may come to that. Do you want me to tell Taryn about the boat excursion?”

“Yes; it will seem more natural coming from you.”

Colton’s eyes fell to the ponytail hanging over her shoulder. “You’ve cut your hair.”

“Only a few inches. How in the world did you know?”

“There’s little about you that I don’t notice,” he admitted quietly. “I guess you tried to forget what you knew about me.”

“That would be impossible. You’re interwoven into every aspect of my life.”

He moved restlessly beside her. “I wish I could cut out the parts where I hurt you.”

She shook her head slowly. “Life isn’t about cutting out the bad parts; it’s about learning from the mistakes and making better decisions in the future. It’s taken me a year to understand that I can’t see what’s ahead if I keep looking back.”

A teenage girl appeared at the window. “Hey, Mrs. Samuels. Could I get a hotdog, a hamburger and two Cokes?”

“Sure, Brittany. That will be four-fifty.” Laurel collected the money while Colton went to get the food.

“Is that your husband?” Brittany asked in a loud whisper.

“Yes, it is.”

“He’s cute! Is he coming with you to the dance tomorrow night?”

Colton returned with the girl’s order just as Laurel replied, “I don’t think it’s quite his thing.”

“What’s not my thing?” he asked.

“I wanted to know if you’re coming with Mrs. Samuels to the Homecoming dance. She’s one of the chaperones.”

“Mrs. Samuels hasn’t asked me, but if she did, I’d say yes.”

Brittany looked at Laurel with a wide smile. “It sounds like you have a date for the dance.”

Laurel glanced quickly at Colton and then back at Brittany. “I hope he knows what he’s letting himself in for.”

Brittany giggled. “I want to see how many girls line up to dance with him.”

Colton shook his head. “I only dance with my wife.”

“You’re my kind of guy, Mr. Samuels. See you tomorrow.”

After Brittany walked away, Laurel said, “I hope you’re serious about going, because it will be all over the school that I’m bringing my husband.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything if I wasn’t serious.”

“You must have absolutely nothing to do if you’re willing to go to a high school dance.”

Colton smiled at her. “Don’t you get it? I want to spend time with you. It doesn’t matter what we do.”

“What are we going to do about Taryn?”

He laughed. “This is an adult we’re talking about, not a child. She’s capable of entertaining herself for a few hours.”

“We can’t both bail on her. She drove a long way to see us.”

“What’s wrong with her spending some time with Rose?”