Finding Sunshine (23 page)

It’s a beautiful Monday afternoon, and Becca, Sarah and I are taking advantage of the warm spring weather by having lunch on the outside patio of our favorite café.

“Yeah, it was great. We took Russell to the Cape on Saturday, so he could run on the beach.” I tell her happily, taking a bite of my toasted egg salad sandwich.

I groan when I hear my phone buzz and ring loudly from my purse several times. There’s only one contact assigned that particularly annoying sound
—Jordan
.

After quickly wiping my hands on my napkin, I reach down into my newly organized purse and pull out my phone.

Glancing down, I read the texts and roll my eyes in annoyance.
Goddess, what could she possibly want?

Jordan: WE NEED TO TALK!

Jordan: Where r u?!

“Sorry, it’s Jordan. I just need to quickly text her back. I’ve been avoiding her calls and texts all weekend,” I apologize, quickly typing out a reply and then setting the phone down on the table.

Nina: @ lunch. Why?

“Is she still pissed you didn’t go to New Hampshire with her this weekend?” Sarah asks, in between French fries.

“Yes. I feel bad for ditching her—well, sorta.” I say, taking a sip of my deliciously sweet and tangy Arnold Palmer. “If I’m honest, I don’t really feel bad at all, because the entire weekend all I would’ve heard was crap about Aaron.”

I had told Jordan that I would tag along to her family barbeque months ago, but as the time drew nearer, I realized that there was no way I could subject myself to over 48 hours of negativity—directed squarely at
my man
.

“I don’t understand why she doesn’t like him.” Becca says, shaking her head and taking a bite of her gooey, delicious-looking grilled cheese and bacon sandwich.
Maybe that’s what I should’ve ordered.

“I have no idea. And all the stuff she complains about is ridiculous—”

My phone tones again, interrupting me mid-sentence, and without thinking better of it, I answer the latest text.

Jordan: @ the café?

Nina: Yes. Y?

“I’m biased, obviously, but your parents like him, don’t they?” Sarah asks, sipping her sparkling water. These days, lunch almost always consists of the three of us. Becca and Sarah have quickly become the best friends I’ve ever had.

“My parents can’t say enough good things about him. My dad actually called him last week, wanting to know if he’d go to an afternoon game at Fenway.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I still have no idea how he got Aaron’s number,” I laugh, taking another bite of my sandwich.

“I knew they’d like him. He’s a total sweetheart,” Becca adds with a smile.

“What’s not to like?” I ask, giggling. There is no denying it any longer.
I’ve fallen completely in love with Aaron, with my man.

Jordan: Coming now.

“Darn it!” I exclaim after reading the latest text, and slap my phone down on the table with a
clang.

“What?” Sarah asks.

“I’m sorry, Jordan’s decided to crash our lunch,” I apologize to my friends, sinking deeper into the chair. All the fun we’ve been having suddenly evaporates into the ether
.

“Why?” Becca asks, scrunching her nose up in annoyance.

“She’s been saying we need to talk all weekend,” I tell them, picking up a French fry and nibbling on it.

“Maybe it’s your lucky day and she wants to move out?” Becca offers, trying to be optimistic.

“I’m not that lucky,” I reply mournfully.

“What are you going to do about your living situation?” Sarah asks.

“I’m not sure,” I say with uncertainty. “Aaron hasn’t said anything about us getting a place together, or me moving in.”

“But you practically live at the house anyway?” Sarah points out smiling.

“I know. It’s so weird that he hasn’t said anything, because the moment I mention going back to my apartment, or he sees me putting stuff into a bag, he gets all clingy and grumpy. I’m seriously considering just moving all of my stuff back home.”

“Or you could just talk to him,” Sarah says with a small smile, giving me what I know is good advice.

“I just don’t want to freak him out,” I reply nervously. I don’t want Aaron to think we’re moving too quickly. Even though they may not be much different, the idea of living together is much scarier than him wanting me to sleep over every night. One is a commitment, while the other is a sexy slumber party.

Soon, an angry-looking Jordan appears rushing down the sidewalk, interrupting my thoughts.

“I bet you knew. Didn’t you?” Jordan demands loudly, pointing an accusatory finger at Becca as she nears the table.

“Knew what?”

“Jordan, relax. You’re making a scene,” I hiss, trying to calm her down. I notice that people from nearby tables are now looking our way.

“You know all about Aaron’s record, don’t you?” she continues to interrogate Becca, who goes suddenly pale and her eyes nervously dart quickly to me.

“What are you talking about?” I demand, looking back and forth between the two.

“This.” Jordan states, digging a piece of paper out of her bag and thrusting it into my hands.

“What is this?” Glancing down at the paper, I see two small, black and white photos—of Aaron. I barely recognize him—his hair is shorter, he’s younger, and he has an odd deadness in his eyes.

They’re mug shots.

“He was in prison,” Jordan states almost gleefully. “Wasn’t he?” She directs the question towards Sarah and Becca.

Prison?

“What?” I utter weakly, too shocked to even process what I’m being told.
My sweet, kind, puppy-loving man was in prison? That has to be wrong!

“Where did you get that?” I vaguely hear Sarah demand from some distant place.

“I had my father do a background check.”

“Why? Why would you do that?” I demand, forcing my eyes away from the photographs to look at Jordan.

“I did it for your own good!” Jordan snaps, pushing the piece of paper in front of me. “I
knew
there was something off about him, and I was right. He’s a fuckin’ drug dealer!”

“He
was
,” I hear Sarah snap angrily.

“You just couldn’t let me be happy, could you?” I ask quietly, as the cold realization of what she’s done and why settles in.

All of these months, Aaron’s been lying to me. Not just him, but everyone who knows him. Sarah and Bennett.
Becca, even!

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” I say angrily, rounding on Becca.

“I know he planned on telling you, so it wasn’t my place,” Becca says calmly. She doesn’t deny that she knew, that she has lied to me for months and months about the man she knew I was falling in love with.
I thought she was my friend.

“Or you,” I add, directing my stare at Sarah, who shifts around uncomfortably in her seat.

“It isn’t as bad as it looks on paper,” she states. “Don’t freak out until you know all of the facts.”

“Is there anything else I don’t know about him?” I demand of the pair. After I catch a brief, guilty expression on Becca’s face, I realize that there must be more. “What!” I practically scream.

“Aaron and I hooked up before Richard and I got together,” Becca answers calmly.

“
What
? You slept with my boyfriend!” Now I
am
screaming.

“He wasn’t your boyfriend at the time. Look, we were both single, got along well, but quickly realized that we had zero chemistry, and he wasn’t what I was looking for.”

“What’s wrong with him?” I ask angrily, coming to his defense.
How could anyone not want my man?

“Nothing.”

“Can we get back to the fact that you’re dating a convicted felon?” Jordan asks snidely.

“You’re a bitch,” Becca says angrily to her, shocking us both.

“Agreed.” Sarah adds, before averting her eyes away from me once more.

Turning towards me, Becca asks, “Nina, do you honestly think I would let you go out with someone I thought for a second was dangerous?”

“No—”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t, ” she says. Then pointing at the rap sheet that’s lying on the table, adds coldly, “There’s a lot more to what happened than what’s written on that piece of paper.”

“She’s right,” Sarah adds. “My brother is a great guy.
Please
just let him explain what happened before you judge him.”

“I thought you were my friend.” My arms are tight across my chest as I glare at Becca, altogether ignoring Sarah and her annoying voice of reason.

“I
am
your friend.” Becca says, almost desperately. “Which is why I’m telling you to go and talk to him, and to really listen to what he has to say.”

“By talk to him, you mean dump his fuckin’ ass—
right
?” Jordan snaps.

I don’t respond to either one of them. Standing up from the table, I feel suddenly lightheaded. Grabbing the piece of paper off the table, I shove it into my purse. I pull some cash out of my wallet and toss the money onto the table before silently turning to walk away. I ignore the sound of Becca and Jordan’s voices buzzing in the background. Sarah is still noticeably silent. Aaron is supposed to pick me up later at my apartment, so we could go see an early movie. I head there
like a zombie, not knowing where else to go.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on my sofa, staring at the paper Jordan had given me, at Aaron’s picture. The face looking out at me resembles the man I’ve fallen in love with, but at the same time, he looks like a stranger. It all makes me wonder if I ever even knew him at all. He’s been lying to me for months, pretending to be this perfect man. Something he certainly isn’t.

There is suddenly a loud knock sound. It takes me several seconds to recognize a noise, permeating my still-frazzled mind. I move to answer the door, placing the paper onto the counter as I walk by.

Upon opening the door, Aaron moves to pull me into his arms for his usual warm greeting, but I place my hands on his chest and physically push him away. Turning to step back into the apartment, I know he’ll follow me in.

“Sunshine, what’s wrong?” he asks anxiously, shutting the door as he enters.

Even though I’d spent hours trying to think of what to say to Aaron when he arrived, all I had come up with was asking angrily, “Is there something you’ve forgotten to mention to me?”

“What’s with the tone?” he asks, clearly confused, and a little bit defensively.

Something within me snaps. “You’ve been lying to me. For months!” I shout, picking up the piece of paper listing his crimes and shoving it into his chest.

Taking hold of it, he looks at what it says and then turning pale, asks angrily, “Where did you get this?”

“Jordan’s father is a cop. She thought I should know the truth,” I place my hands on my hips and glare at him. “At least
somebody
in my life cares about me.”

“Oh really,” he snaps. “Maybe if you’d calm down a second, I could explain it to you.”

“Explain what exactly?” I explode. “That not only did you sleep with my best friend, but that you’re a fuckin’
criminal
, too?”

“Watch your fuckin’ language!” he yells, slamming the paper down onto the counter and pointing an angry finger at me. “Just let me explain.”

“What’s there to explain? You’ve been lying to me for months!”

“God damn it—will you just let me explain?” he growls, shoving his fingers through his hair in agitation.

“Were you even going to tell me?” I demand.

“Of course I was,” he proclaims earnestly, stepping towards me again.

“Why should I believe a word you say now? You’re a
fuckin’
liar!” I yell at him, crossing my arms against my chest and moving back out of his reach.

“You know what? I’m going to leave before one of us says something we can’t take back. Call me when you actually want to listen to what I have to say,” he growls angrily. I watch as he turns to leave. Slamming the door as he goes.

My heart tightens and I’m suddenly freezing. It’s as if I’ve lost something vital, a part of me. I hate swearing at him that way, but I hate even more that he’s kept things from me, and it hurts that he couldn’t trust me with the truth before now.

Where do we go from here?

~ Aaron ~

After parking along the street, I begin to make my way down the sidewalk towards
The Pint
. I’m not entirely sure what’s leading me back here. Maybe Nina’s right, I am a criminal, and it’s where I belong—
with other criminals
.

“Masters!” Hearing my name being called, I turn to see Franklin Royal’s mud-caked, black
Toyota 4Runner
pulling up to the curb twenty feet in front of me.

“Franklin,” I say in greeting, walking up to the cab’s open window.

“You look like you could use a drink, man.”

“Fuck. Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah. Get in. We’ll go someplace better than this dump,” he says, and then sensing my hesitation adds, “I’m buying.”

“What the hell,” I mutter, not wanting to be alone with my thoughts. I jump into the truck, and Franklin pulls back into traffic.

“Where’s your other half?” I wonder aloud, realizing that Teddy isn’t with us.

“Teddy?” he asks, and when I nod, he continues, “He was arrested last night. But I had to come down early this morning for a meeting with the uncles, about your old friend Luc King, so I couldn’t wait for the judge to get his ass out of bed.”

“You don’t sound too concerned.”

Shouldn’t he be worried that his enforcer was just arrested?

“Don’t worry, he texted a few hours ago when he made bail. Sherriff Waters had to arrest him—the idiot has racked up about a million unpaid speeding tickets.”

I’m distracted by this news as we pull into a familiar parking lot, but then I suddenly realize where we are.
What the fuck?

“You do know they don’t sell alcoholic drinks at
Friendly’s
, right?” I ask, looking over at him.

“But they make fuckin’ great Fribbles,” Franklin states enthusiastically, pulling into a parking space right in front of the building and turning off the engine.

“Are you serious?”

This has got to be a joke.

“Yeah, come on. My mom always said there’s nothing an extra thick chocolate milkshake can’t fix,” he replies, jumping out of the SUV and slamming the door. I quickly follow. Shaking my head, I can’t help but chuckle at how suddenly my day has gone from horrible to just fucking bizarre.

Upon entering, the hostess seats us in a booth near the back. Not surprisingly, Franklin takes the seat facing the door.
Reminding me exactly who he is.
Franklin and his family haven’t gained their power without making a few enemies along the way.

“And a side of mozzarella cheese sticks too, please,” he says to the waitress after we’ve ordered our milkshakes—mine being
vanilla
. Nina’s favorite flavor.

I must have looked at him like he was insane, because once the waitress has departed, he says brightly, “They’re delicious here.”

I soon find myself unloading all of my problems off of my chest, and Franklin is a surprisingly good listener. He just sits there, sipping his chocolate milkshake and munching on mozzarella sticks, letting me vent.

“I still don’t know when the best time to tell her would have been.” I groan, having finished explaining to him that Nina had finally discovered the truth about my past on her own.

“Probably when you’re fuckin’ her. That way, she can’t really concentrate on what you’re saying. Works for me every time,” he states with an air of wisdom. Picking up a mozzarella stick, which is surprisingly delicious, he takes a large bite.

“Wait, is that when you tell women about your family’s business?” I ask incredulously, before taking another sip of my milkshake.

“Fuck no!” he exclaims, swallowing down his food thickly. “I tell them to enjoy the ride, because it’s the last one they’re ever going to have.”

“You fuckin’ break up with them during sex?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in shock.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” he asks innocently.

“I didn’t realize you were such an ass. For some reason, that seems like something Teddy would do,” I say honestly, taking the metal container filled with the leftovers of my milkshake and pouring more of it into my glass.

I may not know the man very well—
or hardly at all
—but Teddy seems hardened and emotionless.
What you’d expect from an enforcer.

“Teddy? Fuck no. He passes them a note.” Franklin snickers with laughter.

The bartender in me, the part that enjoys listening to other people’s stories, is intrigued.

“
What
? Are you serious?”

“In his defense, we were in high school,” he concedes.

“So you two grew up together, then?” I ask curiously.

“Yeah. We’re also second cousins.”

“Really?”

“What, you don’t see the family resemblance?” he asks with mock seriousness.

“No,” I chuckle honestly.

Physically, the two men could not look more different. Upon reflection, Franklin really does look like an accountant—maybe it’s the glasses. He has a medium build, short dark hair, and olive skin. Teddy, on the other hand, is both tall and broad, making him seem massive—perfect for his line of work. He also clearly has African American heritage, and I’m guessing Irish as well, judging by a reddish tinge in his brown hair.

“What about Father O’Neill?”

“I think he’s the only person in Pinetree who I’m not related to somehow. We really could use some fresh blood. Have you thought any more about my father’s offer to run the pub?”

“Why do you want me to take the job so much?”

“We know your story.”

“You like the idea of having a convicted felon managing your pub?” I laugh humorlessly, taking another sip of my surprisingly delicious milkshake.

I’ll never admit it to anyone, but it is making me feel better. Or at least more relaxed.

“No. We like the idea of having a man who understands the importance of
family
. Someone who had a lapse in judgment—”

“I’m not sure that’s entirely true. I’d fuckin’ do it all over again, if I had to.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” he says oddly, seeming to contradict himself. “Own your past, it’s the only way forward.”

There is a pause in the conversation, and I steal another mozzarella stick while Franklin and I are both lost in thought. The idea of moving to Vermont and starting over, with a job I could never imagine finding here, sounds like a dream come true.
But what about Nina?
I hadn’t realized it until now, but all of my dreams for the future are now tied to her. I can’t go anywhere without her.

“I think Pinetree could be good for you, and a flatlander like yourself could be good for Pinetree,” Franklin says, breaking the silence.

“What about my Nina?” I ask, before adding the depressing thought, “If she’s even still mine.”

“Bring her with you,” he says, his tone clearly implying that I’m being an idiot. “Come up some weekend, explore the area, and see what she thinks. Stay at a Bed and Breakfast, women love that shit. You can meet with my father while you’re there and discuss the details.”

“I’ll think about it,” I say, realizing that I’m being truthful. If by some miracle Nina forgives me, maybe we can start over—
together.

After the strangest afternoon I’ve ever had, and promises that I will indeed take the job offer seriously, I decide to head home and seek my sister’s advice.

My heart jumps in my chest when I drive down the street and see Nina’s car parked along the sidewalk several houses down.

Sarah is standing there waiting by the back door when I arrive. The second I open the door, she wraps her arms around me tightly—
as if she knows.

“You know?” I ask anxiously, pulling away to toe off my shoes and remove my jacket.

“Yeah. I was at lunch with Nina and Becca, when the bitch showed up to spout off some shit she knows
nothing
about,” Sarah snarls angrily.

“I fucked up.” I admit, crossing my arms against my chest and looking down, unable to meet her eyes.

“Yeah, you did,” she agrees. “But it isn’t the first time, and won’t be the last. You just need to fix it.”

“How can I?” I ask mournfully. “She hates me now—as she should.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“Why wouldn’t she? I lied to her. She’ll never trust me after this. I should have found a way to tell her sooner, before I went and fucked up the best thing in my life—
again.”
I declare, scrubbing my face with my hands in agitation before tucking my hair behind my ears.

“Are you done with the pity party?” Sarah asks unsympathetically. “She’s hurt, as anyone would be. But it’s only because she cares so much about your relationship. You need to fight for what you want.”

“But what do I do? I hate arguing with her. I just want to explain. I tried to, but she’s so angry, and rightfully so.” I let out a deep breath, rubbing the back of my neck with one hand in an attempt to ease my stress.

“She just so happens to be downstairs. I think the initial fight is out of her, so she’ll probably listen to you now. Talk to her, and be
completely
honest—no matter how scary it is.”

“But what if I’ve lost her completely?”

“She wouldn’t be here if you had. But the only way to win her back is to come clean, so go down there and make it right,” she says, patting my arm encouragingly. “And don’t screw this up. She’s perfect for you.”

“I know.”

“Good luck.” Sarah gives me a quick squeeze and kisses my cheek before turning to let me pass down the hall.

“Thanks, I fuckin’ need it.”

“Don’t forget to put in a good word for me, while you’re at it. She’s become a really good friend,” she calls after me.

I slowly open the basement door and make my way down the stairs. They creak and groan with my every step, adding to my building anxiety. I pause briefly halfway down, as a sudden realization comes to me.

I love her.

I love my sunshine, my Nina.

That’s the reason why my stomach feels like it’s a pit of acid. The thought of losing her forever makes me feel nauseous.

I find Nina curled up on her side with Russell lying contently next to her. He raises his head and gives me the stink eye—he clearly has taken her side.

“Hi,” I say softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hi,” she echoes even more softly, petting Russell’s head gently.

“What are you doing with my shirt?” I ask, noticing the ball of fabric she’s hugging to her chest.

“It—it smells like you,” she whispers softly, and my gut tightens. “Silly, I know.”

Gently, I push Russell off of the bed. He groans with annoyance, and I move to lie in the spot that he’s vacated. I hear him flop onto his bed with another audible groan. Finally, I turn onto my side to face Nina, wanting to reach out and touch her, but not daring to do so. We lay there in silence, and for the first time, it’s an uncomfortable one.

How can I begin to apologize, explain and beg her to forgive me?

“Were you ever going to tell me about you and Becca?” Nina asks, startling me. I hadn’t thought
that
would be her first question.

“I didn’t mean to keep that from you,” I say truthfully. “Richard’s my best friend, and we have an unspoken agreement to never discuss it. Honestly, it’s just something I’d like to forget. Rebecca and I had fun, it was nothing more than that.”

“
Fun
?”

“Don't be like that,” I say, reaching out and grabbing hold of her hand.

“Like what?” she asks slightly defensively, though her voice is uncharacteristically small.

“Insecure. You know when we're together, it's the best either of us has ever had. Will ever have. So yeah, with Rebecca, it was just fun,” I state emphatically, scooting closer towards her and kissing the tip of her nose. “With you, it’s so much more than that.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in when she doesn’t pull away from me.

“So you don't ever wish—”

“Never. I was always waiting for my sunshine.” I interrupt.

Letting go of her hand, I drape my arm around her and move in even closer. The silence continues, as neither one of us really knows what to say next.

Soon, the tension becomes too much to bear, and I know what I’ve got to do. “I never meant to lie to you,” I whisper truthfully.
I was only holding off on the inevitable for as long as possible.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Why?

“Because—well, because I’m not perfect, and I wanted to pretend just for a little while that I was good enough to be with someone as good as you.” I offer, resting my forehead against hers, breathing her in.

“Don’t say that,” she snaps, gently running her fingers through my hair. “I’m not looking for the perfect man, there is no such thing. I’m just looking for the man who is perfect for
me
. And I think that’s you.”