Finding Snow (Fairytale Shifter Book 4) (2 page)

I
t’s still dark
when I wake up with a jolt, the cold sweat covering my naked body. It takes me a moment, like it always does, to remember where I am and that I’m safe. The seconds tick by, and my breathing evens out. Rubbing my hands against my eyes, I remind myself that I’m not in a cage.

I give up on sleep and get up from the bed. I make my way to the bathroom, turn on the shower, and get in before the water has a chance to warm up. I’m used to cold showers after being denied the luxury of hot water for so long and then having to bathe in rivers when I escaped.

I soap up and try not to think about my past, but it always comes flooding back after a nightmare. I can’t seem to stop it, so I just have to ride it out until all the feelings pass. This dream was like so many before, most of it exactly the same, but sometimes my mind likes to add in details that weren’t there, just to fuck with me.

This time when I was dreaming, I was in the cage again. The one they kept me locked in unless they were running tests. They had a theory that if shifters were kept in small places, they would be less likely, or unable, to shift.

In this dream, I was in the cage, and I could hear Winnie crying. I know this didn’t happen because Winnie was never captured with me. She got away. I always have to remind myself of that. We were young when we were caught, but she fought and was able to get free. I was too drugged up to know what happened, and all I could remember was waking up in a cell without her.

I'd learned over the years that we were taken by a company that was doing research on shifters. They kept us as if we were animals in a lab. It was a horrible time in my life, and ever since I broke free, my only goal was finding my sister. When I found her, it was only to see that she had amnesia and was being cared for here in Gray Ridge. Winnie had gotten lucky, and Alpha Stone had taken her into the pack and kept her safe. When I found her, and when her memories came back, I felt like my journey had finally come to an end.

Only it didn’t.

I’m a bear shifter, and there aren’t as many of us as there are of other species. Even fewer bear shifter females exist. When Winnie mated with Alpha Stone, I could have left, but I didn’t want to. Bears aren’t normally pack animals, but they are close to their families. I couldn’t move away from Winnie after finally finding her, even though she was mated.

Thankfully, Alpha Stone welcomed me into the pack and gave me some land. Xavier, one of the wolf shifters, and I built my cabin out here to give me some space away from the pack and also to have a way to stay close to Winnie.

I’d been in captivity for so long that I was worried I wouldn’t be able to adjust to pack life. But Xavier had gone through some trauma before he met his mate, and he was able to give me some advice to help me cope.

When we built the house, he helped me put in extra security measures so that I could feel safe again. My nightmares used to be a lot worse, and I think he knew it. So to help, we installed bolted locks both inside and outside the entry points of the house. The locks are in place in a way that no one is going in or out of my home without my permission. The extra security helps me sleep. As long as the nightmares don’t creep in.

When I’ve finished showering, I make myself breakfast and have coffee. My life is very quiet, and I don’t have many friends—just the Gray Ridge pack people who Winnie makes me hang out with. I look over at the counter and see an invitation to a kid’s birthday party at Xavier and Gwen’s home. I know I should want to go and be around everyone, but I feel myself getting tired and wanting to hibernate.

I let out a long sigh and try to shake off the dark mood. Internally, I know that I’m safe and everything is okay. I’m just getting used to the world again. Also being around a lot of happy mated couples can start to wear on any single shifter after a while. There’s a longing that comes with wanting to find your mate, and knowing I probably never will sends another wave of sadness over me.

Closing my eyes, I see dark hair and blue eyes. I try to grab on to the image, but it’s gone like smoke through my fingers. I think of the image every time I think about finding my mate. I don’t even know where the image is from or how I remember it, but something about it is familiar.

I push away from the table and clean up the kitchen. When I finish, I look outside. The sun has come up and it’s starting to snow a bit. I love this time of year. The cool air and the clean smells of the forest calm my bear. I feel him stir inside me, and I decide he could use a walk in the woods.

Bears aren’t much for running or spending energy when they don’t have to. Our shifters are usually really big and solidly built. I lost a lot of weight when I was being held captive, but in the time since, I’ve put on a lot of weight. It feels good to have the extra layers of thick muscle and even a little extra around my mid-section. We’re pretty hairy, too, and I definitely meet that type. My long beard and chest hair help keep me warm when it's cold out. So even though it’s snowing, I don’t need much coverage.

I’ve got on a long-sleeved, cream-colored thermal shirt and jeans. I go over to the door, pull on my boots, and then go about unlocking the door. I walk outside and turn, locking the cabin back up.

The woods are quiet, and my bear is enjoying the peace. He likes being outside, but a lot of times my fear overrides his need and we stay indoors. This is good for both of us, at least for a little while.

I walk for a few miles and come through the clearing next to the lake. I don’t usually venture to this side of the protected lands, but I just need a change today. New scenery. Something inside me is telling me this will be best for me and my bear. That we need a new direction and something different to see today.

Looking off in the distance, I see a dark figure on the ground. My bear is instantly alert, and I widen my stance, preparing for danger. I raise my nose, trying to catch a scent, but the wind is at my back. Slowly and silently, I walk around the edge of the lake, looking for danger from every direction.

My bear is pacing, trying to get out, but I want to be able to hold my skin. I’m always terrified that someone will try to take me again after getting captured the last time, so I’m being extra cautious.

I don’t know what possesses me to even want to investigate the dark figure. Normally, I would just turn and run. But something’s pulling me in that direction, and I need to see what it is.

As I step closer, I see the dark figure take shape. The scent still hasn’t come my way, but I can make out that it’s a person lying in the snow. My steps are tentative and slow, and I move closer and closer.

When I realize it’s a woman, my heart starts to beat faster and my steps quicken. What if she’s a shifter in trouble? I don’t know everyone in the pack yet, so this could be a member in distress.

Moving close, I see that her eyes are closed and she’s lying on her back with her arms outstretched. She must not have been here long because not much snow has fallen on her. It’s starting to come down heavier now, and she’s getting a small dusting on her face and body.

She’s got thick black hair and skin the color of cream. Her lips are blood red, and something inside of me is pulling me towards her. I can’t explain the force that makes me go to her, but something inside me knows that I must help her.

Something inside me needs to kiss her. Taste her… Brand her.

I kneel down beside her, and the sound wakes her. Her big eyes pop open, and the blue there strikes me right in the chest. Her eyes are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I want to get lost in them and let them carry me away. There’s something about them that’s familiar and safe, but also terrifying and confusing.

A heartbeat passes between us, and for a second I’m pulled back in time to a place I thought I’d left. Fear grips me, but then the woman smiles up at me, and all of that melts away.

“Hi,” she whispers, and I light up at the word. I start to say something back, but at that moment her scent hits me, and I my throat nearly closes up.

She’s human.

Rage pulses through me, and I start to stand. I want to get away from this human as fast as I can, but suddenly I’m dizzy with need. I inhale again, and I feel my bear trying to take over. He’s clawing inside me to get out to roar, but I hold him tight, trying to catch my brain up to my body.

Mate,
my bear growls over and over, and I realize that this human is my mate. A human. The one thing in this world that I not only fear but never want to be near again is my mate.

I growl long and low, but the human doesn’t look surprised. She sits up and pushes back from me, but I reach out, snatching her ankle before she can get away.

“Mine,” I say through gritted teeth. I didn’t want this, not like this. But my body has no choice.

“Let me go.” I look into her eyes to see panic there. “Don’t, please. My brothers will worry. I know what you are, please don’t do this.”

The plea for her family pulls at my heart. How many times had I begged to be let free to find my family? How many times had I begged for news of my sister? I feel sadness for her, but then it’s followed by anger. Her kind are the ones that kept me from Winnie. This human is my mate. I have every right to take her from her human people.

“You’re mine now,” I say, pulling her off the ground and throwing her over my shoulder.

“Please let me go. I swear I won’t come back. I’ll never tell anyone.”

As the snow comes down heavier and heavier, I carry her back to my cabin. Our tracks are covered and no one will be able to find us. I’m taking my mate home, and she will get used to it.

“You can’t do this. You can’t take me.” There is so much panic in her voice that I nearly stop and go back, not wanting to upset her.

“I will treat you kindly and no harm will ever come to you as long as I live.” I take a breath and keep walking. “It’s more than your kind ever gave me.”

M
y hood falls
over my face, blocking everything out. I try to move it out of the way, but it only falls back again, showing me nothing but the snow-covered ground rushing by while the man who has me over his shoulder runs through the woods.

Each step bounces me. One even makes me grunt. The sound makes him slow his strides in an effort not to jostle me again. I try to find words to plead with him, but nothing comes now that I’m over his shoulder and he is taking me farther and farther away from my brothers’ cabin.

I try to shift to see if maybe I can catch him off guard and break free, but his hold only tightens on me.

“Still or you’ll hurt yourself.”

I do as his deep voice commands. It would be a fruitless effort. I’d probably break something if I fell from this height. The man is ginormous, even compared to my brothers.

“You’re hurting me,” I lie, finally finding my voice again.

“Am I holding you too tight? If you stop struggling, I can loosen my grip. I don’t want to drop you.”

I huff, not answering his ostensibly generous question. He kidnaps me but wants to make sure I’m unharmed.

When I opened my eyes and stared into the deepest brown eyes I’d ever seen, I was shocked. That shock only grew when a honey color started to blend into them. They were beautiful. I also knew instantly he was a shifter. Human eyes could never do that. I wasn’t scared until he jumped away from me and started to growl.

When he lunged for me, I felt a moment of panic, unsure of what he was doing.

“Mine
,” he’d growled. At the time I was in fight or flight mode, but now thinking back on it, I know what’s happened. I’ve seen it before. Mates. I’d seen my brothers, one after another, find their mates. I’d witnessed the instant attraction they had. The need they had for them so strong and unstoppable.

It’s what’s gripping the man carrying me over his shoulder. I’m his mate, and he doesn’t seem all too happy about the idea. In fact, he seemed enraged for a moment. I try to think back to what he’d said

“I will treat you kindly, and no harm will ever come to you as long as I live. It’s more than your kind ever gave me.”

That sealed it. He was mad that I was human. I could do absolutely nothing about it. Something even I wished I wasn’t. The humans I’d been brought up around were evil, vile people. Not like the shifters in my life who’d taken care of me and shown me more love than my father ever did.

My body jerks a little when he takes three stairs at a time, then I hear the sound of locks clicking before a door opens and slams shut. I hear the sound of locks clicking into place once again. Then I’m on my feet, staring up at one angry-looking man.

“What are you?” The honey color is back in his eyes, pushing all that dark brown away.

“A shifter.”

“I know that.” I put my hand on my hips. I’m used to having to look up at my brothers, but this is just crazy. I’m going to get a crick in my neck.

His eyes narrow on me.

“Yes, I know all about shifters,” I inform him. There’s no beating around the bush or pretending I don’t know. Besides, it’s more than obvious he is with all this grunting and growling he’s doing.

“A bear. How do you know about my kind?”

I just shrug, not feeling scared of him anymore. Shifters don’t hurt their mates. Most even die if the other does. But those are true love cases. It’s clear my big bear isn’t happy with his choice of mate. “I grew up with shifters, you could say. In fact, they’ll be looking for me.”

“They can look all they want. They won’t come on my land,” he says with utter certainty. It makes me wonder what they will do. The Alpha doesn’t even know about me.

“They will when they track my scent,” I retort.

“Snow will cover it. It’s coming down hard now.” I know he’s right. They won’t even be home for hours. My shoulders drop, and I’m not real sure what to do. Glancing around the wooded cabin, I see it has an open floor plan and is somewhat decorated. Like someone came in and spent the time to put the cabin together—new-looking leather couches, a dining room table that looks like it could fit a whole bear family.

Everything looks new, but the place is a mess. Dishes litter the counter. Clothes are strewn all around, random crap piled on the table. It looks a little sad. Like a home was built but wasn’t loved. And all the windows are locked up. Shutters closed over them, blocking any light from outside.

“So you’re just going to keep me here? Against my will?”

“Your kind did the same to me. At least I will take care of you, not lock you in a cage.” His words don’t sound angry, just matter-of-fact. Each one hits me hard, making my stomach cramp. Please no. Could he have been one of the shifters I’d left behind?

“Okay.” I pull my hood off and toss my cape on the couch next to me. He growls, making me look back up at him. His eyes roam over my body, making my blood heat. It’s the same feeling that coursed through me when I opened my eyes to see him looming over me. I’d wanted him to kiss me so bad. I’ve never been kissed. Never even been close to being kissed.

He’s handsome. Maybe a little overgrown and rough around the edges, but that doesn’t take away from his handsomeness at all. In fact, I kind of like that he looks a bit scary. He could protect me.

“Just ‘okay’? You’re not going to fight me?” I can hear the uncertainty in his voice.

No, I’m not going to fight him. He’s right. If what I’m thinking is true, then my people did do worse than what he’d do to me here. I’d seen glimpses of how my father treated the shifters he’d kept caged away. The ones I’d left behind because I was too scared to stay. Selfish.

This, I could do. I could be his mate. I glance around the room, taking in the mess and chaos. If I know how to do anything, it’s make a home. It’s what I love to do. I owe him this. Maybe I can make him see not all humans are terrible.

I can see the sadness in his eyes. I see it when I look in the mirror.

“No, I won’t fight you, but I need to tell my brothers.”

“No!” he growls. “They can’t have you.” He snaps the last part, making me jump. A frown forms on his brow. It shows me he doesn’t like scaring me. I like that. It’s an oddly cute look on his hard face. Not that I would inform him of that.

I widen my eyes and pouting. “I just need to let them know I’m okay.” I do the same face that seems to work on my brothers. His eyes go wide as if in panic.

“Don’t cry,” he growls, like that will make me stop.

“They’ll worry. Then I’ll worry that they are worrying, then I’ll worry myself sick with all the worry,” I push on.

“That’s a whole lot of worry. You should only worry about your mate. Me.” He points at himself like I forgot who my mate was.

“Well, I can just worry about you if I can undo all this other worrying...” I let my words trail off.

“Fine.” He stomps past me towards the kitchen and starts digging through drawers. I grab my cape, sliding it back over my head.

He comes back and hands me a notepad and pen. I take it from him, not sure what he wants me to do with it.

“Address,” he says, nodding down at the paper. I scribble it down and hand the pad back to him.

“I can just show you the way.” I glance at the closed window. I can’t see out of it as it’s been boarded up. “Or maybe not. I don’t remember the way here.”

“Good.” He looks down at the note. “Then you can’t try to leave because you won’t know where to go.”

My mouth drops open. “What are you going to do? Blindfold me to my brothers’ and back?” I snap.

“No, that’s ridiculous.” He folds the paper and tucks it into his jeans pocket “I know where the Denali brothers live. I also know they are wolf shifters, making them not your actual brothers.” He growls the last part, and it spikes my temper.

“Maybe not by birth, but they raised me like one of their own.” I narrow my eyes on him, not liking him saying they aren’t my brothers. Maybe not by blood, but they are family.

“Write them a note. I’ll deliver it to their cabin so they’ll know you’re okay.” He takes a step towards me, crowding me.

“No, I’m going to tell them in person.” I go to move around him towards the front door. I don’t even try to open it. I heard the million locks click into place when we entered. Besides, one looks higher than I can reach. “Let's go.” I try to use the same tone I use on my brothers, but it doesn’t seem to work. He just stares at me, jaw clenched.

“No. You’re not dressed to be in the cold. No one can take you if I have you here.” He comes closer to the door, crowding me all over again. His woody smell carries a touch of cinnamon, and it fills my lungs. He smells delicious. I feel my body react to the dominance pouring off him, waking up parts of me that I didn’t even know existed. It makes me wonder if humans feel these mating feelings, too. I don’t know anything about shifters mating with humans. I’ve heard it could happen, but I’ve never seen it.

I try the pout that seemed to work before, but this time he catches me off guard when his mouth lands on mine. It’s like a light being switched on. Pure pleasure hits my body just as his lips meet mine. He pushes his tongue into my mouth, and I let him. I open for him. I wrap my hands around his neck, wanting him closer.

He deepens the kiss, a growl pouring from his mouth into mine, and I can’t help but moan back, rubbing my body against his. He lifts me, his hands going to my ass as he pins me against the door. I can’t stop myself from wriggling against him. His mouth pulls from mine, going to my neck as he trails open-mouthed kisses from my ear down to my collarbone.

Who knew something so simple could feel so wonderful? My whole body feels like it’s on fire. I dig my fingers into his hair, wanting to pull him closer, then I feel his teeth skim my neck and sink in. My body explodes, an orgasm rocking through me, making me drop my head back and ride out the pleasure.

I’ve never had one before. I’ve always been too scared to try one at my own hand. Living with shifters, they hear and smell everything, and the embarrassment would have killed me, but I can enjoy this one. Soak all the pleasure from it.

“Mine,” he growls.

“Yes,” I agree. I’d already told him I’d stay. I meant it. He needs me. Maybe with time he won’t hate being mated to me. It will be more than just the animal pull he feels towards me.

I feel his tongue lick the spot he just bit, making my body jerk. No one told me you could come from a mate bite. My brothers didn’t talk about sex with me. Not to mention shifters don’t have sex until they’re mated.

He slowly sets me on the ground.

“Write the note. It’s the only option. Take it or leave it.” I can tell by the look in his eyes it’s final. I’m more shocked he isn’t taking me to bed. I know with wolves, the mating hits hard and fast, and most of the time the mated female is flat on her back within the first thirty minutes, but he just seems calm. Completely in control, and that stings. Maybe he is just using my body against me, knowing I am feeling some mating pull. Or worse, he regrets kissing the human.

I have no clue how bear shifters even mate. I just know they’re rare. I pick up the notepad and pen.

“Just say you’re fine. You found your mate and you’ll be in contact soon,” he says in the still-cool, calm voice while my hand is still shaking a little from the orgasm I just had. I’m shocked I can stand at all.

“Do you just want to write it?” I hold the notepad out for him to take. He just shakes his head, and I do what he says, scribbling on the paper. I can tell there is no fighting this. I hand it over to him. He looks down at it, then tucks it into his pocket with the other note.

“I will drop off the note and then I must do a few things. You’ll stay in the cabin.”

“I have a feeling there isn’t a way even if I wanted to get out.”

He doesn’t answer me, but he does reach out and lift a strand of my hair. Bending down, he rubs it against his nose, breathing it in. The simple act makes my heart flutter. Then he drops it and starts popping the locks on the doors.

“Make yourself at home. I will be back to care for you soon.” He takes one more look at me like he’s debating leaving. I can see the fight in his eyes.

“Take the note please. I’ll worry,” I remind him. “I’ll stay right here.” I have the need to reassure him, to wipe that lost look off his face.

“What’s your name?”

I feel myself blush a little after having done what we did without even knowing each other’s name.

“I’m Snow. Yours?”

“Koda.”

I smile at him, and he nods. Then he steps back, leans down, and presses his lips against mine. This time he just holds them there before pulling away, then stomping out of the house and slamming the door. I hear all the locks click into place, leaving me all alone.

Touching my lips where he kissed me, I think about his name.
Koda
. I like the way that sounds.

I turn around to see the chaos that is now my home. I pull off my shoes and cape once again. I hang my cape by the front door and place my shoes in a closet next to the door. I guess I should get to work. I told him I’d be his mate.

If what he said about being caged away is true, I’m going to turn this new cage into a home like he’s never had before.