Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1) (43 page)

“I understand that you turned your back on her. Made her feel like you didn’t love her anymore. You took your love away from her at a time when she needed it the most. She was just a little girl and after your wife lost it you disappeared too. How dare you! You don’t deserve her and you never did!”

“Stop! Everybody just stop!”

We all turn and see Elle leaning against the wall in the hallway.

“Blake, we all made mistakes, but we all love her dearly. I hope that once she calms down, she will let us explain everything. Go find our Rose, Blake. Go hold her for me. Please, I don’t have much time left.” Elle pleads with me.

“Mom, get back into bed. You shouldn’t be up.”

“If I don’t get to see her again, tell her I always thought she should have been told the truth. Tell her I love her, Blake. Please.” Elle pleads with me again.

“I’ll tell her, Elle. She loves you.” I try to reassure her.

Looking at Mr. Jameson, I think back to the first time I met him. Not feeling a need to impress him because I felt I had nothing to prove to him. Now I know, I have nothing to prove to him. A man that could abandon his child the way he did doesn’t deserve my respect. I can respect what he has done for our country, but he failed miserably as a father.

“You don’t know the whole story. I was trying to protect her. It broke me just as much as it did her.”

“I doubt that. You were protecting her by hurting her? I don’t have time for this. Besides, I’m not the one you need to talk to.”

Turning, I walk out the door and run to my truck. That need to find her is stronger than ever. News like that would devastate anyone, but to know your whole family lied to you your whole life about who you were. I don’t know how anyone would deal with that. Turning my truck toward Tessa’s I pray that Kayla is there and she is safe.

Kayla

There’s a loud roaring in my ears. I reach up to put my hands over them. I know I didn’t hear her right. Squinting my eyes shut, I continue to hold my ears. Slowly, I start to rock back and forth. It’s a soothing motion for me.

“Kayla, can you hear me?”

Stop, please stop! Make it stop. Hearing my Grandma, but not being able to speak, I don’t respond to her. I can’t think. It’s then that I realize there are people yelling in the living room. Hearing the voice of the last man I want to see right now, I know I have to leave.

“I… I… have to go. Need to get out of here.”

“No. Kayla, let me explain.”

“I can’t.”

Jumping up, I run into the hallway. They don’t hear or see me. Opening the door to my childhood bedroom, I walk in shutting it behind me. Going straight to the window, I open it and lean out looking at how far the drop is. I feel disconnected from my body. It’s like someone else is controlling everything I’m doing and I’m just along for the ride. It’s not too bad of a drop to the ground. These windows are higher than most but I won’t break anything, at least I hope not.

Putting my legs out first I sit on the window sill for a moment, take a deep breath, and jump.
Ouch!
I grab my ankle as it throbs.
Maybe jumping wasn’t the best idea.
At least the pain will distract me from the reason I jumped out the window in the first place.

“Kayla, I’m your real grandmother.”

“I don’t understand. Of course you’re my grandmother.”

“Sweetie, listen. Your daddy is your real daddy. You are his biological daughter.”

It’s playing on repeat in my head. ‘
You are his biological daughter. Biological daughter.’

That can’t be true, but the signs were all there. Weren’t they? I just ignored them. I’ve looked at my grandmother’s old photos. I look a lot like she did at my age. And the eyes, my God the eyes should have been a dead give away. How did I not see it? Because I never expected them to lie to me.

Running to the small store down the street I go to the pay phone and realize I don’t have any money. Dialing zero, I tell the operator that I need to make a collect call. I give her the number and wait while the phone rings. It rings a few times, then Tessa picks up.

“You have a collect call from Kayla Jameson. Will you accept the charges?” The operator asks.

“Yes.” Tessa answers.

“Come get me. I’m at the Mini Mart down from my Grandparent’s house. Go behind the store. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Kayla, what’s wrong?”

Not answering her I hang the phone up. I know she’ll come. She’ll be here.

My mind is working frantically to make sense of all of this. The song my dad used to sing to me runs through my mind. Hearing it like it was yesterday that he was sitting there singing it to me.

Your beautiful green eyes pierce my soul… You’re Daddy’s girl… Daddy’s girl… One day you will know… Your Daddy’s girl.

Why didn’t he tell me? Why did he leave us? Why did they divorce? What happened to my real mother? How did my dad meet her? Why was he with another woman when he was married to Paige? I have more questions now than I did before. Did my mom know about my real mother? Oh, I can’t do this. Hurry Tessa. Please hurry.

Memories of my childhood play in my mind like a movie. Moments where my father was everything to me and then moments when I waited for him to call and he never did. When the only mom I had ever known was gone and he disappeared too, leaving my grandparents to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

My grandparents were all I had, but aren’t they just as guilty? They lied to me too. My whole life has been one big fat lie.

“Kayla!”

I see Tessa running to me.

“Girl, I’ve been worried sick. Don’t ever do that again.”

I look up and look into her eyes and lose it again. She sits on the ground beside me.

“Oh, Kayla. What’s wrong? Is it Blake?”

Shaking my head no, I look at her and then close my eyes. I can barely get the words out.

“It’s all been a lie. My whole life. Who I am. It’s all a lie.”

“Kayla, you’re not making any sense. Where’s Blake?

Oh no! Blake. Running out of there, I didn’t even think about Blake. Shaking my head to myself, I can’t go back there.

“I don’t know. I just left.”

“Come on. Let’s get you home.”

“No. Just drive to the park by the house. I’m not ready to go home yet.”

There’s a park close to the Lake House. It’s quiet, peaceful and a good place for me to tell Tessa what’s going on.

“Okay, but I need to let Dad and Lisa know. They are going to worry until they hear from us.”

“There’s a pay phone there.”

“Kayla, we need to find Blake. I’m sure he’s going out of his mind.”

“I can’t see him yet. Please, just take me to the park. Besides, I don’t even know where he is.”

We get to the park and I walk to the edge of the water and sit down. Tessa, goes to use the pay phone to call and let Troy and Lisa know I’m okay.

When she returns, she sits down beside me taking in a deep breath and then letting it out.

“They said to hurry and come home. Can you tell me what happened now?”

Bringing my knees up, I wrap my arms around them.

“Well be prepared because I’m still can’t wrap my head around this one.”

Staring out at the water, the sun is getting lower in the sky. Hearing some birds in the distance, I take in the scene before me. The stark contrast of how I feel compared to the peace and tranquility before me is like day and night.

Will I ever reach a state of peace here on this earth? Was I always meant to have this constant strife in my life? Taking in a cleansing breath and then letting it out I try to take in some of the calmness that is before me.

“Today, I found out that my adoptive father is my biological father.”

Tessa shakes her head and cocks it to the side.

“What? How can that be?”

“I didn’t stick around for details.”

“Who told you this? I just don’t believe that can be true.”

“My grandmother. It’s true. At least if you judge by, the craziness that was going on between, Blake, my dad, and my grandfather, is any indication. I climbed out my bedroom window and ran.”

The next thirty minutes or so I convey everything that took place today to Tessa. How, I don’t know who I am now and that I’ve been lied to my entire life. She sits quietly listening to every word. This is why I love her so much. When I finish, we sit for a while looking out at the water.

“Kayla, I know you’re upset, but can I say a few things that I think you need to hear?”

“I’ve never been able to stop you before.”

I mean this to be a joke, but given my state of mind, it doesn’t come off that way. However, Tessa as always understands and ignores it.

“You are still Kayla Rose Jameson. Nothing will ever change that. You’re still the girl with the huge heart and unshakeable faith. You still have the love of an amazing guy, who thinks you hung the moon. Yes, I said it even though he gets on my last nerve. You will always have me as a sister. And your grandparents love you just like they always have. I know right now all you can see is that you’ve been lied to about everything. I understand that. But, Kayla, you need to listen to the whole story. Take some time to think about it, but then go and get the answers to all of the questions you have.”

She then shrugs as she says, “Then after that if you want to kick your dad’s butt, I’ll be right there to have your back. Of course, he’s a war hero, so we might need to call in more reinforcements.”

Shoulder bumping me, she laughs and I can’t help it, I laugh a little too, but it sounds fake even to my ears.

“Now, someone has been waiting patiently to walk over here. So I’m going to leave and let him take care of you.” She says giving me a weak smile.

“Huh?”

Turning I see my devastatingly handsome fiancé leaning against his truck. His face looks pained as he keeps his eyes pinned on me.
How did I not hear his truck?

“He loves you Kayla and he is going nuts worrying about you. You’d be an idiot if you shut him out. You’re going to need his support to help you get through this. Let him love you Kayla. He’s good at it.”

Tessa motions for him to come over. He stands tall and slowly makes his way toward us. I really hope he isn’t mad at me for running off.

Tessa and I stand, hug each other and say goodbye. She starts walking back to her car, but stops and pats Blake on the shoulder. They say something to each other and he nods his head. Blake continues to make his way to me. Wrapping my arms around myself, I wait for him to finally reach me.

Honestly, I’m surprised that I haven’t had a panic attack yet. I think it’s only because I am still in shock. Like I’m just watching this happen to someone else. It’s not really happening to me.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Blake says it with so much love that, that’s all it takes. I throw myself into his arms and really cry for the first time since I learned I’m not who I thought I was. All of the events of the day hit me hard, causing my knees to buckle. He supports my weight and carries me to a table a few feet away from us.

Blake holds me as I fall apart. He is there to put the pieces of my broken heart back together yet again. He is quite simply my everything. Losing track of time I notice that the sun has gone even lower veiling us in darkness that is lit only by the light of a full moon rising over the water. Realizing I haven’t even spoke to Blake I pull back and look into his eyes.

“Oh, Blake. I'm so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You really scared me, baby. Don’t run off like that again.”

“Blake, they lied to me about everything.”

“Shh. I know. Just breathe, baby.”

“Why? Why would they do this to me?”

Blake is running his hand up and down my back. This is what he does to always calm me.

“I don’t know. They wouldn’t give me any details. Elle, told me to tell you that she loves you. That they all love you. She said she always wanted to tell you the truth. She wants you to let them explain everything.”

“Logically, I know I need to, but I don’t know if I can.”

“Kayla, you should do whatever feels right for you. Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything.”

“Can we talk about it later?”

“Okay. Later.”

“Oh my gosh Blake! You need to leave. You’re going to get home so late. You will be exhausted at work tomorrow.”

“Do you really think I would leave you right now? I’m staying. If you want to go talk to your grandparents tomorrow, we will.”

“Blake, I’d fall apart without you. I don’t know if I’ll be ready tomorrow to see them.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Kayla. Maybe, you should sleep on it and decide tomorrow.”

“Maybe that’s a good idea.”

Blake and I sit for a while and no words are spoken. We don’t need words for him to comfort me, just his presence does that. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. My head is still spinning and I just don’t want to even think about it.