Finding Obscurity (11 page)

Blake scoffed. “All you are is evil in pretty packaging!”

Carlotta gave Blake a defiant stare lifting her chin. “Is there
not evil all over the world? You can’t judge all of us because of an act of
another, Blake. We have lost many at the hands of a Conjurer as well. Are you
saying that all of you are just as wicked? That would be the pot calling the
kettle black.”

“And look how that turned out! She’s dead, along with her husband
and baby!”

I froze at his revelation. The family I was researching may have
killed and been killed. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

“Blake, I assure you that none of us here had anything to do with
that. Just like you didn’t have anything to do with Alistair’s disappearance.”

“You believe me?”

Carlotta sniffed. “Of course. I’ve defended you myself, but with
Ashton’s position on the matter, it didn’t make a difference.”

 
When there was nothing but
silence again, I made eye contact with her. “Why didn’t you tell me, Carlotta?”

She began wringing her hands together again. “It wasn’t my place
to tell you. I felt if I revealed what I was, then you would no longer be my
friend. I have so few real friends and vampire politics can be so messy. It was
so nice to feel normal for once.”

“Your place to tell me? You can’t make that call for me. I have
the right to know things about somebody who wants to be my friend. I told you
things I haven’t told anyone! You even knew what I was and never told me!”

“Lily, I’m sorry that I didn’t disclose what I was or what I knew
about you. For what it’s worth, I felt guilty keeping this secret and I wish
you hadn’t found out like this. I hope we can still be friends. Please know
that I am just as good-natured as you.”

I would have to think about everything I had learned tonight, but
how could I have known? She ate food, was out in the sunlight, and if it wasn’t
for what happened tonight with that crazy sensation, there was no way of
knowing she was not human. It was an uneasy feeling. If there were really
vampires, and with what Blake and I were, who was to say there weren’t worse
things out there in the world. I shook my head, leaning closer to Blake. “I’ll
have to think long and hard about what you told me. I never knew there were
Conjurers, let along vampires!”

 
“I was asked not to reveal
what we were until things were explained to you, and it killed me keeping this
secret. I’m so sorry. I told him to tell you, but he…”

“Wait?” I held up a hand, cutting her off. “Is Ashton a vampire,
too?”

Carlotta winced, staring at her feet, and I could see her inner
battle before she met my gaze again. “Yes.”

I was going to kill that son-of-a-bitch for lying to me! I lost my
virginity to a vampire! You would think that would be something you would tell
the person you were getting ready to make love to. I felt tears starting to
spill over from betrayal. All the warnings Blake had given me rang through my
mind. I sniffed and tried to blink back tears as I stood in the back alley of
Revive. I wasn’t sure if I had been falling in love with him, but my heart
ached, knowing that I would lose him before I really had a chance to see where
it would go. But how do you forgive somebody for keeping so many secrets?
Especially one that would change everything I ever thought was real. That was what
I got for allowing him in when everything told me not to trust anyone.

The bass was echoing off the pavement from the club and I ran my
hands through my hair, trying to ignore the fight or flight instinct racing
through my body. The door opened behind us and we all turned to see Jeffery and
the bouncer Gary exit into the alley. It suddenly made sense why I couldn’t
feel any energy off these people now –

 
because
they were all vampires! I hated myself for not second-guessing it more, but
right now I was worried we were outnumbered if they decided to strike us down.

Jeffery glanced at my tear-streaked face before wrapping his arms
around his wife. “Is everything okay out here?”

She patted his hand on her shoulder. “She knows about us.”

“He didn’t tell her?”

Carlotta shook her head. “I’m afraid not. I accidentally put on a
display on the dance floor.”

“A display? I didn’t see you in the VIP room.”

“Baby, we were on the main floor.”

“What were you thinking?” Jeffery cried, grabbing her in a tight
embrace.

“Lily wanted to dance and she wasn’t willing to go to our area,
even though I tried. I couldn’t leave her alone and felt responsible for her,
Jeffery.”

He gave her a light kiss. “Such a soft heart, my lady.” Jeffery
turned towards me. “I’m sorry you found out this way, and can understand the
shock, but this isn’t a time for tears.”

I sniffed and another tear spilled over at the misery of feelings
I felt for Ashton. “I feel betrayed. You would think this would be something he
would have told me!”

“I’m sure that he was waiting for the right time, Lily,” Carlotta
said softly.

“The
right
time? The right time would have been when he was
in my bed!”

Blake stiffened. “Lily...”

I was disappointed in myself because of putting my heart on the
line and hurting Blake. He had never once lied to me about what he was and it
was so unfair. I pulled away from Blake’s arms and wiped the tears from my
eyes. “I… can’t… do… this.”

I took off at full bore, darting around the building toward my BMW
and slid to a stop at Jeffery leaning against it, picking at his nails.
 
How did he get there so fast? “Shit!”

“We need to talk.”

“Move. Now.”

“Not before you hear what I have to say.”

Taking a deep breath I noticed purple sparks shooting off my
fingertips and closed my palms, crossing my arms across my chest. I was upset
and didn’t want any accidents tonight. “Fine.”

“Lily, Ashton was scared to tell you what he was. He would never
admit that, but I know him better than almost anyone. He was experiencing emotions
he never thought were possible towards you. You understand that what you are
makes things a little more complicated?”

“What does that matter? He lied to me.” I spat.

“He didn’t lie to you, but omitted the truth. Lily, you’re not a
vampire. It is almost unheard of us to be with a human; it is frowned upon,
even though we can always change them like I did with Carlotta. But with a
Conjurer? It’s unthinkable. We have been enemies for an extremely long time.
Why do you think Blake hates us so? I know he was friends with Ashton, but
without trust you have no true friendship. You must have been raised to not
have hatred toward our kind, and we love that about you. You are a beautiful
soul and blind to the prejudice. Please don’t lose that, even though you’re
hurting right now.”

I closed my eyes and let out a noisy breath. “You have to
understand that I put my heart on the line and feel betrayed right now. For
over ten years I have never let anyone in. Now look where it got me.”

“If I could take the pain away for you, I would. I consider you a
friend and I hope that this doesn’t keep you from seeing us for who we are.”

“Everything is so surreal right now. I recently found out what I
was, and now I learn there are things that go bump in the night. I just don’t
know how to process it.”

Nodding, he stepped away from my car. “I understand. Please just
give Ashton a chance to come clean. Promise?”

I beeped the car open with the remote and sat down in the seat
before looking back at Jeffery. “I can’t promise anything right now.”

He kneeled beside the open door. “Once we find our match, Lily, we
won’t let them go so easily. You also understand that I’m going to tell him
that you know tonight and there will be nothing to stop him from chasing after
you to make things right?”

“He wasn’t even here tonight and hasn’t called me since we made
love. I want to know why.”

“He had to attend business out of town suddenly.
 
It’s no excuse, and he could have at least
called you, but this is all new to him just as it is to you. Be careful, Lily,
and remember to give him a chance,” he said before standing up and walking back
towards the club.

Chapter Fourteen

I slammed the foot down on the accelerator, peeling out of the parking
lot. Tears were streaming down my face and I wiped them quickly away as I
merged onto the interstate. He didn’t deserve my tears and I wasn’t sure if I
was crying because of him or because of everything coming to light about the
paranormal. It was all too much to take right now, and I had to get out of here
for a while.

Once I entered my apartment, I began packing a bag to take a short
vacation away from all this mess. Setting the duffel bag down by the door, I
picked up Jinx, giving him several kisses in his fur and made sure he had
plenty of food and water for the rest of the weekend. I sent a text to Sam and
asked him to check in on Jinx, and told him where I hid my spare key.

I grabbed a coffee from the gas station before heading south on
I-65. When I got close to the Kentucky border, my cell phone started ringing
and my display showed Ashton’s number. Tears began again and I sobbed behind
the wheel, turning up a Breaking Benjamin song to drown out the sound of the
persistent ringing of my phone. He began calling back to back, but I wasn’t
going to answer anytime soon. I needed time to think.

All this hurt reminded me too much of the past I was trying to
overlook and the reason I never let anyone close enough to hurt me. I felt
vulnerable all over again, but this time it was different because I wasn’t sure
if I could really give him up. How can you feel something for somebody you
weren’t sure you even knew? I believed Carlotta when she told me what Ashton
was. What I needed to decide was – is it worth putting my heart on the line for
something I know nothing about? I didn’t know if I could believe Blake’s
warnings about them being dangerous.

The flat land I was accustomed to slowly
turned
into hills and tunnels carved into stone. I wasn’t sure what my destination
would be until I crossed the Tennessee border and knew instantly where I would
go. I needed answers now more than ever.

When I reached the small town close to the border of North
Carolina, I checked into a hotel that was small and on the verge of being
rundown, but it was the only hotel close to the town I wanted to visit. The
walls inside the room were dingy from years of cigarette smoke. Even though it
was now a nonsmoking room, it had that stale smoke smell seeping out of the
walls. The curtains and bed covers were worn but smelled freshly laundered so I
changed into my pajamas before pulling myself under the covers. I plugged my
phone into the charger I remembered to bring for once.

I had missed over twenty calls from Ashton, several from Blake and
Carlotta, and a text from Sam, asking me to call him.

When Sam answered the phone, I sniffed back the tears again. I
needed to be strong and to remember that I was better than the weak little girl
I had been so long ago. “Hey, Sam.”

“Lily! Where the hell did you go? Ashton stormed into the club and
had some heated words with Blake before storming right back out the door. When
he came back to the club an hour later, he started asking me if I had talked to
you. I told him you asked me to check in on your cat and that was all I knew.
You should have seen the poor guy’s face. What is going on?”

I was silent for a minute. “It’s a long story. Ashton lied about
something that I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for. I had to get away
for a while. Thank you for checking on Jinx for me.”

“You know I would do anything for my best friend. What did the
bastard lie to you about? Do you want me to kick his ass for you?”

I snorted. “Sam, I’m glad I called you because you know how to
make me smile. I can’t explain what all was a lie, but I just needed time to
think and get my life back in order. I’m a hot mess right now.”

“You must really like the guy if he can do this to you. I’m always
here for you if you ever need it, Lily. Just think about things and remember
that if you love him, then maybe you can forgive him, too.”

“How can you forgive and forget? I have only known him for a week
and it feels like I have known him for a lifetime. It doesn’t make any sense.
How can I feel something about a person I barely know? I can’t love him and
promised myself I would never let anyone hurt me again, but he did. It’s like
all my defenses were down at the wrong moment.”

“I think you’re falling for the guy if he can break down the
defenses you held up for so long. He’s slowly breaking down the wall around
your heart, brick by brick. Love doesn’t make sense, Lily. Love can be a
beautiful disaster. It hits you out of nowhere, leaving you breathless without
reason and can tear at your sanity like a never-ending hurricane. But once the
storm is over, you will have more sunshine in your life than you know what to
do with.”

“When did you become so poetic?”

He gasped like he was shocked that I would say such a thing and
then giggled. “I can be serious when I want to be, but I think I met my quota
for the month with you around!”

“
Ain’t
that the truth? If I haven’t told
you, Sam, I’m glad you’re my friend.”

“Me, too. Do you think you love Ashton?”

I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “I think maybe… hell, I don’t
know. What am I going to do? Blake has been great with everything going on, and
sometimes things between Blake and me can be intense. I don’t know what to make
of it all. Even with the intensity with Blake, I’m drawn to Ashton with
something even greater.”

“The heart wants what it wants. Don’t you think it would be easier
with my religious family to be straight? You can’t make your heart chose
something it doesn’t desire.”

“What all happened after Ashton found out I left?”

“Oh, honey, drama is all I got to say. Lily, you should have seen
it! Blake and Ashton had some sort of argument again after he talked to me,
then the woman you were dancing with, and who I assume was her husband,
intervened. Paige was standing by the bar watching everything go down and was
smiling ear to ear. I swear that bitch lives off drama more than I do. After
that I couldn’t really see anything, because a rush of people came up the bar
at once.”

“Paige was watching? Sam, what do you know about her?”

“Not much, really. She’s a little strange to be honest, but then
again, so are you.” He belted out a laugh. “She doesn’t really talk much about
anything except for her job and how demanding it is, but she wouldn’t tell me
where she worked. I asked a few times about where she grew up, but she clams
up. I wonder if she had a bad childhood because she doesn’t like to be
touched?
That could be because of abuse.”

“Maybe that’s what feels off about her. She just seems to be
hiding something and maybe that’s it. I sure hope she wasn’t abused, but you
just never know.”

“Yeah. Just give her a chance to warm up a bit and maybe she’ll
open up to you.”

I let out a breath. “I can try again. She told me she didn’t like
me because she liked Blake, but that story just doesn’t line up. Maybe she’s
just a bitch. Who knows?”

“She probably just is a bitch. Don’t worry your pretty little head
about her. Hey, I need to get some sleep. I will call you tomorrow. Are you
going to be okay? What do I tell Ashton if he asks?”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just tell him I’m taking some time and
you don’t know where I am – which isn’t a lie. Goodnight, Sam.”

After hanging up, I tossed and turned, trying to drift off to
sleep. I just couldn’t shut off my brain. Thinking about Ashton and his
cerulean eyes were haunting me. Could I live with the fact that he was a
vampire? What did I really know about them anyway? I wasn’t sure what was
folklore and what was real. After all, Carlotta was out in the sunlight and was
eating actual food, which seemed normal enough, so most likely the stigma of
what you always see in movies was actually what was freaking me out. Then I had
to think about Blake and what was going on between us. Sure, there was a spark,
but it was dim in comparison to Ashton.

I needed to just go to sleep and hope things would come to me in
time. I took a deep breath and pictured the field that my sister and I used to
play in when we were kids. It was one of my many relaxation techniques,
picturing something that reminded me of when she was alive.

The grass was overgrown and blowing in the breeze while the
leaves rattled in the wind from a tree near the creek. I took a deep breath and
lay back in the patch that we had stomped down to build our own secret
fortress. Small bugs swarmed above the grass and an occasional butterfly
floated by and landed on a tall overgrown wildflower. I closed my eyes and
relaxed with the warm sunlight on my skin while birds chirped, singing their
happy tunes.

A shadow fell over me. I covered my eyes to look up and sat up
with a scream. “Blake!”

“Lily.” He sat down beside me in the patch of flattened grass.
“Where are we?”

“A place my sister and I used to play when we were kids.” I
pointed to the limestone house up on the small hill. “That was where I grew
up.”

“You must be very protective of this memory. I couldn’t pull
you into my dream so I came over to yours. It’s really nice here.” He lay back,
bending his elbows laying his head on his hands. The sunlight glittered off his
gray eyes as he looked at me. “Where are you?”

I looked around us and back to him with a raised brow. “I
already told you where we were.”

“Not here, silly. Where are you at physically?”

“Someplace safe. That’s all you need to know right now. I just
needed some space.” I tore off a piece of grass by my bare feet and started
tying knots with it. “Why didn’t you tell me what he was?”

“I wanted to but thought I would give him a chance to tell you
himself. It wouldn’t be fair, even though I gave you plenty of warnings without
flat-out telling you.”

“I feel like everyone is keeping me from knowing the truth and
it pisses me off.” I grunted. “Will you tell me something?”

Blake grinned and grabbed my hand. “Anything.”

“Why do Conjurers hate vampires so much?”

“It’s something learned at a young age and is passed down
through the generations. Similar to what prejudice is now. When something is
ground into your head from birth, those things tend to stay with you. I
rebelled and went to war as an excuse to get away from all the regulations that
we were supposed to follow. I met Ashton on the front lines fighting alongside
of me, and even though we were supposed to hate each other, how do you do that
when the person beside you is fighting for the same things?”

“Were you in the war in the Middle East?”

He barked out a laugh. “Try World War II.”

My mouth gaped. “How old are you?”

“I am one hundred and sixty-two years old and will turn another
year older next month.”

“How is that possible, Blake? How old is Ashton?”

“Let’s say you have a lot to learn about Conjurers. The more
powerful you are, and the more you gain power, the longer you live, but not as
long as I have. The average age is about a hundred and twenty years for us.” He
shrugged. “Even they age and look older. But I’m not going to reveal Ashton’s
age. You’ll have to find out from him yourself.”

“But how are you so old?”

“Geez, you would think I am some feeble old man!” Blake rolled
his eyes with a chuckle. “Well, for one thing, I almost died in the war and
Ashton healed me. I drank some of his blood, and apparently that’s what helped
me live so long. I am aging, yes, but very slowly. No Conjurer has ever
consumed vampire blood because we never get close enough to do so. We had no
idea what would happen, you know, with the whole evil being thing we were
trained from a young age and all that.
 
You must keep that little secret between us, because it could be bad if
Conjurers found out. Plus it can have some… unfortunate side effects besides a
longer life.”

“Side effects?”

“For one thing, Ashton can sense me whenever I’m within miles
of him. Then you can hear each other’s thoughts if you don’t know how to block
them. Let’s just say there are times that were a little more than embarrassing.
Even Ashton didn’t see that one coming since we think it was because of what I
am. But it helped us survive the war, so that was a good thing. He was a really
good friend until things fell apart.”

“You can read each other’s thoughts?”

“Only if we’re open to each other, but I refuse to be that
vulnerable again.”

I squeezed his hand. “I understand. Blake, why do you hate him?
Is it because of me?”

He gave a small smile. “Part of it is because he blames me for
Alistair disappearing, even though he should know better. Another is because
you’re drawn to him like a month to a flame. Maybe things will eventually
happen for us, but I’ve seen the way you look at him, and it kills me.”

“I wish it was different, I really do. I can’t lie and say
there isn’t some sort of thing between us. You have been there for me in the
past week, and I am thankful for that.”

“Lily, I wouldn’t change a thing. Even if I can’t have you as a
lover I am happy to at least have you as a friend. I won’t give up, even if
there is a slight chance we could be together though.”

“Thank you, Blake. It means a lot to me to know that you’ll be
there even if we only end up being friends. Not changing the subject or
anything, but I need to ask you about this dreaming thing.” I waved my hand
around us. “Can you get hurt in a dream?”

“No. Dreams are all in the subconscious and aren’t real in the
physical sense. Why would you ask that?”