Finding My Way (2 page)

I pull into the school parking lot and take the spot next to Mason. He has Katelyn pressed tight up against the car with his hands all over her body. I’m surprised they’re not pregnant by now. I really wouldn’t put it past him to try to knock her up before college. He’s so stupid in love it’s ridiculous. Katelyn’s smarter than that though. She has plans and this lug of a best friend of mine isn’t going to ruin that for her.

“Hey guys,” Josie greets them when we come around the truck. Katelyn pushes Mason off her, well she tries to at least. He doesn’t let her go, but hangs onto her waist with his hands.

“Are you ready for the game tomorrow, Liam?” Katelyn knows everything there is to know about football courtesy of Mason. They spent one summer going over everything so that he could talk to her when I wasn’t around. I was only gone for that one summer and he’s never let me live it down.

“I’m ready,” I say, adding, “this year we’re breaking all kinds of records.” I high-five Mason over the top of Katelyn’s head.

“My dad’s fired-up,” Mason adds as we walk into the school, nodding to the right of me as we walk. “Someone’s snaking your girl, Westbury.” I look and sure enough Nick Ashford is watching Josie.

“I thought he graduated last year?” I ask.

“No, he’s the same age as us,” Josie informs us. How she knows this is beyond me.

“He’s a douche. I don’t like him staring at you. I might have to teach him a lesson.”

“Oh my God, you’re horrible, Liam.”

Josie moves out of my reach and pulls Katelyn along with her. Nick Ashford has a thing for my girl, I know he does, but he needs to keep his eyes on his own property. The way he watches her, I did the same thing until I had the nerve to ask her out. I see him look at her, watch her when she walks down the hall. The subtle way he brushes up against her arm when they pass in the hall. He’s messing with fire because Josie’s not up for the taking.

“What’s with her?”

I shrug. I don’t pretend to understand her when she’s like this. She knows I’m protective and jealous and I hate it when guys gawk at her. Only I should be able to gawk at her openly. “She doesn’t like it when I get jealous.”

“Your girlfriend is hot. I’d tap that if I didn’t have Katelyn.”

I punch Mason in the shoulder and keep moving into the school. When I turn the corner, Josie is bent over at the waist with her ass in the air for the whole school to see. I step up behind her and grab her hips, pulling them to me. I do this a few times until she yells at me.

“You’re going to get us into trouble, Liam,” Josie scolds me playfully as she stands and turns in my arms.

“It’s the first day of school and the whole town knows we have sex, Josie. We got caught at the movie theater, remember?”

Josie glares at me. “Only because you hit the parking brake and we started rolling.”

I laugh, remembering the situation all too well. It’s funny now, but wasn’t so funny when we were scrambling to get our clothes back on. The thing about car sex is that it’s easy for the guy, just whip it out, but unless your girl is wearing a skirt, which mine wasn’t, it’s a bit harder for the girl to get her clothes back on.

“Josie, we’re teenagers, teenagers have sex.”

“Well we don’t need to broadcast it.”

I step until her back is pressed against her locker. “I think we need a trip out to the dugouts. We haven’t been out there in a long time.”

“Lunch?” she asks, knowing exactly what happens out there.

I lean in and kiss her quickly. “I’ll be the one with no pants on.” I leave her there and make my way down the hall to class. First day is starting off quite nicely, I’d say.

Chapter 3

I
roll over and look at the illuminated numbers of my clock staring back at me. I’ve tried to sleep, but to no avail. My mind is racing and is full of ‘what ifs’. I’ve never been this nervous on game day, but the pressure is on. The naysayers doubt me. The papers, the ones who support our rivals, think I’m done for. They say there’s nothing left and I’m already past my teenage prime. We’ve won three straight games, all on the road and we’re the league target. Everyone is gunning to take us down and it starts tonight at seven p.m. under the lights.

Josie, Katelyn and the rest of the girls will be there to meet us as we come out of the tunnel. Their pom-poms will be shaking. Their mouths will be cheering as we rush by. I’ll come out last. I always have. I need that one moment of peace before I step out onto the field and see the bright lights shining down on me. I need that solitude that I feel when I look at the thousands of fans who are gathered on a Friday night to watch us battle it out with our opponent.

What I don’t look for are the scouts. I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to know that they’re sitting in the stands with their notepads writing furiously about everything that I do wrong because according to my dad, I can’t do anything right. My passes aren’t hard enough. I run too slowly. I don’t zig and zag like I should when heading to the end zone. I don’t score enough. What he doesn’t understand is that each time he says something it makes me want to quit and I hate having that feeling. I love football. It’s my life. I know I’ll do great, but each time he opens his mouth I want to yell at him. I want to tell him to go to hell and that I quit. But I won’t. I have dreams. Josie and I have dreams. I can’t let her down.

It’s three in the morning on game day. I should be sleeping, but it avoids me even though I need it. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of my bed, my bare feet touching the cold hardwood floor. I don’t know how to shut off the voices inside my head, but staying here isn’t the answer. I put on the t-shirt I threw on my chair last night and my sweatpants and slip on my Nikes.

The window in my bedroom moves up easily and the early morning air causes my skin to pebble. This isn’t the first time I’ve snuck out and won’t be the last, but after the first time I was afraid the noise would alert my father, so I oiled it. I don’t know what he’ll do if he catches me and honestly, I’m not willing to find out. But I need to see her. I need to feel her and hold her against me. She’ll help calm my nerves and ease the anxiousness that’s building.

I shimmy down the rose trellis and take off in a dead sprint toward her house. The run is what I need. I’ll be nice and tired when I crawl in through her window. Sleep won’t elude me once I have Josie pressed tightly against my chest.

I don’t knock or even worry about waking her parents when I open her window. She leaves it unlocked for me each night. The first time we were caught I thought her dad was going to shoot me. He should’ve. I can’t imagine what was going through his mind, but he knows how my father is. I know Josie tells him about the way he talks down to her. I’d like to think Mr. Preston feels sorry for me. Instead of calling my parents he sat us down and talked about responsibility and college, and how he has hopes for Josie and doesn’t want to see her give up on her dreams because we were being stupid. I sat on the couch holding her hand and listening to her father tell me that I’m a good kid, instead of beating the shit out of me for sneaking into his daughter’s bedroom.

My shirt and shoes come off before I slide into her bed. She’s facing the window, almost as if she’s waiting for me. On her nightstand is my senior picture. I paid for extras so she could have one. It pissed me off that my mother would be so selfish and wouldn’t order enough so I could hand them out. Of course, she knew they were going to go to Josie, but what should that matter? I know I should be used to it, but shit, Josie’s my girl and she’s not going anywhere.

“Hey, Josie,” I murmur as I pull her comforter over me. I touch her hip lightly before moving my arm over her waist, pulling her to my chest. I bury my nose into her hair and close my eyes, inhaling her scent. I would stay like this forever if it could make my head stop spinning.

“What’s wrong, Liam?”

“How do you know something’s wrong?”

Her body sighs against mine. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, as I try to release my grip on her waist, but she holds my arm there.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Liam. If something’s wrong, you can tell me. I’m always here for you. Are you nervous about the game?”

I nod and try not to smile, but can feel my lips turning up. I kiss her below her ear and sigh. “How do you know me so well, Josie? Not even my parents know me like you do.”

Her fingers trail up and down my arm. I should be sorry that I woke her, but I’m not. Now that I’m lying next to her, I need her.

“We’re soul mates, Liam. You’ll always be a part of me.”

How she knows this is beyond me, but I feel something when I’m with her. She’s my sun and moon, the air that sustains my life. She can bring me down and make me weak in the knees with one look. If this is what it means to have a soul mate then I guess she’s right.

“Can I hold you, Josie?” I whisper against her skin. “I just want to hold you.”

Josie rolls over so she’s facing me. My eyes close as she softly runs her finger down the side of my face. She rubs the stubble on my chin before leaning in and kissing me. The feeling of her lips against mine never fails to take me by surprise. It’s like I’m kissing her for the first time, the way my heart rate increases, the tingling that I feel from her mouth brushing against mine. I get lost in the moment every single time. It’s the sweetest kind of heaven and for that moment, her kiss helps me forget about the shitfest that Sterling brings with him.

“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” I reply, pulling her closer to me. Our foreheads rest against each other’s, our noses touching. All I have to do is turn slightly and I can press my lips against hers again. I know that if I do, it’s all over for me. My desire for her is already peaking and if I start kissing her, I’ll have her undressed and beneath me before I realize what I’m doing. As much as I need her, it’s a game day and I have a routine. I’m too superstitious to veer off course. No sex on game day, not until after.

We’ll win and after we do, we’ll meet at the tower and hang out. We’ll get in my truck and find a deserted road or go to the overlook where she’ll show me how much she loves me. And she does love me. There’s no doubt in my mind that Josephine Preston loves me. I just hope I’m enough for her.

Chapter 4

T
he school day drags on. I’m anxious to get out on the field and start warming up. I’m ready to put on my pads and helmet and hit the field. I need to feel the vibrations from the stands. Its opening night and I know the fans will be out in droves. We’re playing our cross-town rivals, a game that is usually played on Homecoming, but someone higher up thought this would be a good way to kick off the season. Honestly, I don’t care who we play, as long as at the end of four quarters, we have the winning number on the board.

The only highlight is watching Josie walk around in her short as sin skirt and tight shirt. No, I take that back. The highlight would be when I get to saddle up behind her and press into the flimsy excuse for briefs that she has on. I’ve told her over and over again those aren’t briefs but a true testament to a guy’s ability to wait, because each time I see her do a split I imagine myself sliding them down her legs, which is exactly what I’m thinking about now as I watch her walk down the hall.

I don’t know why I’m not up there next to her holding her hand. Sometimes I want to watch her. I love seeing her interact with our classmates. Does this make me a stalker? Maybe, but there are times that I feel like I need to hide in the shadows, like today. Don’t get me wrong, I love the praise I receive on game day, but we’re in school, we should be learning. Watching a game film in history class or discussing what scheme we’re going to run tonight in English is over the top. I love football. I study the game. I run each play over and over in my head every single day so when it comes to game day, I want to relax. I want my mind to focus on the War of 1812 and not the Wing T offense our opponents are going to run.

I know the teachers can’t help it. They’re excited. I get that. We’ve won the last three state championships and are going for an unprecedented number four. Mason’s expected to break the state’s rushing record too. That’s what I worry about, his record. I know he needs to break it to get some decent college looks and I can help him. I’m not worried about college. The scouts will be in the stands with their notepads writing down everything that I do right and even things that I do wrong. The phone calls will start soon. The coaches will make their intentions clear. I’ll sign in February and seal my fate. Division I football is all but guaranteed for me. My dad’ made sure. The high intensity camps since I was eight. The elite summer programs that took me away from friends each year. I’ll give him credit; he saw potential and capitalized on it. I just wish he cared more about me as a person rather than a player. Why can’t I be more to him then QB1 of Beaumont High? Why can’t he see me as his son?

Why? Because he doesn’t care the way Mr. Powell does about Mason. Sterling only wants front page news. He wants to parade around in his business suit talking about stats and what college I’ll pick. As much as it would kill me, I’d laugh if no one came forward. That would show him… and me because I need college to make it to the NFL, but the look on his face would be priceless.

I step behind Josie and slide my hands up her legs and over her hips until they’re resting on those ridiculous briefs. I lean in and press my lips to the back of her neck. Her long dark hair is up in a ponytail. The ends are curled, making it look a lot shorter than it is. As much as I love my cheerleader, I look forward to the days when she’s not wearing her uniform. I love running my fingers through her hair and burying my face in her locks. Games days are all about looks. She has to look her best. Only her best are days when she’s wearing sweatpants and my jersey or one of my t-shirts. That’s when she looks beyond beautiful.

My fingers run along the edge of her briefs, teasing her. She shivers lightly. I’m driving myself crazy and she knows it. Josie won’t hesitate to use this to her advantage. I haven’t learned my lesson yet because right now I can’t do shit about the bulge in my pants. Not sure why I torment myself like this. All this is going to do is make me want to get tonight’s game over with so I can have her. So I can feel her skin against mine. I need her to keep me level headed and focused. After spending the night with her in my arms, I think I might need to break tradition and skip the tower. I need my girl, desperately.