Finding Love for a Cynic (5 page)

Feeling her eyes and warm breath on him, he turned his head to meet her gray eyes.  This was the part of the dream that he hated the most.  The complete look of despondence in those beautiful eyes had plagued him on many nights.  Like countless times before, he held her sorrow-filled gaze, wanting desperately to break away from it.  His heart started to race as his chest muscles clenched around his rib cage, making it difficult to breathe.  She was sucking the life out of him.  He shifted on the bed, trying desperately to break the hold she had on him.  Just when the lack of oxygen started to overwhelm him, she faded away.

He turned and faced forward, rubbing the tightness in his chest.  Although he was no longer dreaming, the anxiety associated with it wouldn’t let go of him.  His heart began to race again, making it difficult to breathe.  In a panic, he rushed from the bed, making his way to the bathroom on unsteady legs.  He held on to the sink for leverage while he swiftly threw open the medicine cabinet, frantically searching for the orange prescription bottle that contained the tiny pill he needed.  With shaky hands he managed to pop the top off and shake out one of the tiny pills.  He quickly swallowed the anti-anxiety aid,   flushing it down with a glass of tap water, and resisting the urge to chase it with something much stronger.  He remained there, grasping the sink with his eyes tightly closed until the tightness in his chest started to subside.   

With a slight push of his index finger, the cabinet door swung closed.  He winced, catching his reflection in the mirror.  The pallid face staring back at him frightened him.  “You look like shit,” he whispered to the broken man in the glass.  He turned on the tap and splashed cold water on his face, hoping it would return some of the color to it. 

A few minutes later, he headed back to his bedroom.  Turning on the bedside lamp helped make the room a little less scary and aided in easing his anxiety, but it also caused other fears to surface.  Tomorrow was going to be one of the most important days of his life, and he acknowledged the stress associated with that fact had been the catalyst of his dream.  The outcome of Delona’s interview could either make him or break him in this town.  He wasn’t so sure he could survive being broken again. 

Being fully awake at three in the morning gave him way too much time to think.  He wasn’t happy about that.  But then his thoughts went to the expressive brown-eyed imp he had spent practically every waking moment with over the last few days.  He smiled.  The mere thought of her and all her chatter proved highly effective in chasing the last remnants of his dream away.  He would later blame that smile on the medication in his failing attempt to suppress what he deemed inappropriate feelings for her. 

In order to pass time and get to know her better, he did the same thing he had done the night before.  He picked up the copy of Delona’s first romance novel, which lay beside his bed, and began to read.    

Chapter 6

“‘These men don’t exist.’  Seriously!  Of all the things to come out your mouth on live radio, it had to be those words,” Danny chastised, shaking his head.  Unlike Myron, he wasn’t a yeller.  However, Delona found his lectures to be just as caustic.  “You’re a romance author, for goodness sake.  Not just a romance author, but one of the senior editors of a romance novel department,” he finished flustered.  Myron rubbed his shoulder, attempting to pacify his partner.

Though dubious, Delona was starting to believe that he and Myron were truly becoming one entity since they were starting to act so much alike.  It was late Friday afternoon, and the interview had ended hours ago, but her day had been far from over.  Those four words had landed her yet again in Myron’s office that morning, witnessing him blowing a gasket.  Now it was Danny’s turn.  The three of them sat with Renee in the conference room waiting for Koen, who was currently in her office doing damage control.  Cara had wanted to stay and give moral support, but Myron wasn’t having it.  Delona was now sitting across from the two men suspecting they were going for maximum tag team effect this time around.  She chanced a look at Renee, who was sitting at the head of the table playing with her cell phone, that complete lack of expression on her face.  Dare she hope for a glimmer of support from the old woman? 
Naw.
She surmised she was definitely on her own this time. 

“Okay,” Koen stated as he confidently walked into the room.  “I have some good news and some bad news.”

“Why do people always have to start with that?” Delona moaned.

“I suggest you sit there and be glad that there’s some good news,” Myron said with authority.

Koen took the seat next to Delona.  She swore she saw his jaw tighten ever so slightly and those unusually bright eyes of his darken to a forest green.  The alteration was so fleeting she started to think she had imagined it. 

“Gentlemen,” Koen started, “I think we need to acknowledge that Delona actually did a very good job maneuvering the interview.  Andrew just decided to act the ultimate asshole and take her out of context.”  His tone was cool, but his displeasure was undeniable.

Delona held her breath as the room fell into silence.  Most people knew it was dangerous to challenge her brother when he was trying to make a point or to get in his way when he had his scope sight set on his little sister, ready to give it to her with both barrels.  She was caught between exhilaration at having someone have her back for once and fear of Myron’s potentially harmful reaction.  The next words to fill the air would have floored her had she not been sitting down.

“Forgive me, sister-girl.  I stand corrected,” Myron said with the utmost humility.  Delona was too stunned to reply.

“It would appear,” Koen continued without missing a beat, “that the majority of the women in L.A. were listening to Sonny’s show this morning.  They swamped the phones at the radio station, all calling in to thank you for finally calling out the lack of chivalry in our society.”

Myron gasped.  “You’re kidding.”

Delona had to consciously close her mouth as she took in the “deer-in-the-headlights” look on Danny’s and Myron’s faces.  She imagined that her look was similar since she was having trouble believing what she was hearing.  Renee, however, simply let out an exaggerated “humph” before turning her penetrating eyes on Delona then Koen as he continued to speak.  Delona failed to stifle the shiver Renee’s stare sent up her spine.  

“Hold on.  It gets better,” Koen continued.  “Some men called the station cheering you on as well.”  They all smiled at the good news, with the exception of Renee, who Delona had started to suspect was incapable of smiling. “They were all admittedly homosexual, but still…”

“Whew,” Danny said with a sigh.  “We’ve managed to impress the local women
and
the gays?  That means we’ve done a good thing in the eyes of our baseline consumers.”  Delona held her breath and watched warily as he turned his attention to her.  “Good job!  I can’t believe this is working in our favor.  Imagine what the publicity will do for our bottom line,” he gushed as he threw an arm around his husband and hugged him closely.  Delona swore she could see dollar signs floating in his irises.

“Yeah.  All thanks to me and my big mouth, huh?” Delona added sarcastically.  Even though Koen had set the record straight, she was still feeling the sting of being chastised all day by the two of them.

“We’re sorry, Dee,” Danny said.  “You have to admit that line didn’t sound so good coming from a romance writer.  But I’ll give you credit.  You din-done good, girl.”  He reached across the table, meeting her halfway for a fist bump.

“Well, we might not want to celebrate just yet,” Koen said, interrupting their celebration. 

Delona didn’t like the way he was rubbing the back of his neck.  She noticed he did that whenever he became nervous.  “Please tell me Mr. Teeth is okay with the outcome of all of this.” 

Andrew had jumped on those infamous four words faster than a New England summer.  She had felt nothing but animosity from him throughout the entire interview and wasn’t surprised when he kept cutting her off after she tried to clarify her comment.  As far as she was concerned, she had done very well given the circumstances.   No one had wanted to acknowledge that fact except Koen.  He had literally given her a pat on the back as soon as they stepped outside the studio, making her feel proud, among other things.

“Uh, no.  Although your baseline consumers were pleased, the heterosexual male population was all but.  You literally have L.A. split down the middle on this issue.  In order to appease the male population, Andrew has challenged you to a competition.”

“A competition?” all four parroted. 

“Yes.  Apparently, some of the men that contacted the station to protest believe that Delona hasn’t given them a fair shot at proving what a romantic they can be.  Andrew thought it would be a good idea if you gave some of them a chance.  He suggested that you go out with a few of them.”  Koen shifted his gaze to the table, undoubtedly feeling the fire her eyes were trying to burn him with.  “If you haven’t found a true romantic within three months, he will publically concede.”  He slowly looked up from the table, granting Delona the opportunity to see his eyes.  The remorse they carried told her he was on her side, but she still wasn’t happy with the news he had just given her.

“And if she does?” Renee asked.  Her words actually carried a hint of concern, surprising Delona.

“Then she has to publically concede and offer him a humble apology.  No big deal.”  A nervous chuckle escaped him when Delona’s initial response was to stare at him in silence.

“Did you bother to tell him how wicked stupid that sounds?” Delona finally said.  “You can’t put a time line on something like that.  And that is so not fair!” she cried.  “There’s no way I could go through with this and not come out looking like some kind of callous, skank, gold digger.   The heroes in my books are usually depicted as wealthy and powerful in conjunction with being willing to walk on water for the women they
supposedly
fall for at first sight.” She put air quotes around the word supposedly.  “Those men are a fantasy.  They
don’t
exist.  If they did, there’d be no reason for me to create them, now would there?”

*

Koen was astonished by Delona’s cynicism.  She didn’t sound like the same woman who had kept him in stitches all week, let alone the person behind the book he had been reading to comfort him in the wee hours of the morning.  “Wow!  You really don’t believe in true love, do you?” he couldn’t help saying.  Unlike Delona, he was usually very good at hiding his emotions.

“We’re not talking about just true love.  We’re talking about rich, handsome knights in shining armor…and chivalry…and all that other crap in between,” she stated, slapping the back of one hand into the palm of the other with each phrase.  The impact of her words made Koen feel like she was slapping him.

“Andrew understands that,” Koen said, still reeling from her reaction.  “The men that he has lined up supposedly fit that bill. He said, and I quote, ‘fabulous bodies…smoldering eyes…the works.’”  He couldn’t begin to tell anyone how silly he felt repeating those words out loud.  At least it seemed to interest Renee, who he caught out of the corner of his eye licking her chops in appreciation. 
That is one strange woman
.

“What do you mean ‘the men that he has lined up’?” Delona inquired.  Her large pretty eyes were now slits as she watched him, arms crossed under her heaving bosom.  Koen forced himself to keep his eyes on her face and not give in to the heat she was stirring in him.  She was beautiful when she was mad, but it didn’t make him happy to see her that way.

“That’s the bad news.”  He shifted his gaze down to his paperwork and started shuffling through it before continuing.  Only Delona could make him this nervous.  “In order to show that you’re not antisocial… I kind of told him you would give some of these guys a chance.”  He started rubbing the twitch in his neck again.  Chancing a glance back up at the group, he caught Danny and Myron trying to conceal a smirk by looking everywhere but at him and Delona.

Delona stared at him intently with her mouth agape.  “What are you now, my pimp?  Since when does the p in publicist stand for pimp-licist?  You’re my pimp-licist!” she shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“It’s not like that,” Koen said, feeling like a complete ass for upsetting her.

“Then what’s it like?” she challenged.  “I can’t believe this is happening all because some jerk chooses to spend half his income supporting the American Dental Association.”  She threw her arms across her ample breasts and sat there stewing, ignoring Danny and Myron as they found humor in her last statement.

“Look,” Koen started in a soothing voice, again trying to avoid gazing down at her chest, “you’re a young woman with her whole life ahead of her.  Just give this a shot.  Think of it as an online dating service.  Who knows? You might actually find someone you like.”  He felt his stomach twist as the words fell from his mouth.  Something within him didn’t like those words and kept trying to kick him for saying them out loud.  He ignored it.

Delona sighed.  “I don’t know, Koen.  I kind of like my life the way it is.”

“Delona, baby,” Myron started, “he’s right.  You may be happy, but remember, finding that right somebody is supposed to augment your happiness, not hinder it.”  He exchanged an intimate glance with his husband.  “Keep in mind, not every guy is Eric.”

“I know.” She sighed then shuddered ever so slightly.

“He’s right, Dee,” Danny added.  “You can’t compare everyone to him.”

Koen was curious but knew this wasn’t the time to ask.  “So, are we good?”

“I guess,” she said after a moment of hesitation. 

Koen could tell she still wasn’t a hundred percent on board with this, but he hoped she would continue to trust him.  Her features had relaxed considerably, giving him optimism that she did.

“Just remember to keep an open mind about all this,” Koen encouraged, resisting the urge to put a reassuring arm around her.  “I know Andrew can be a jerk, but we don’t necessarily have to make it about him, or whatever association he chooses to support.”  That won him a smile.