Finding Kylie (23 page)

             
“She’s already told me that she wants to meet Jesse, and I told her I would help.  I don’t know how to, and I don’t know if I’m ready to ... but I’ll try.” 

             
Dave gave her a knowing smile.  He knew his wife would be there when it counted.  It’s who she was, and that’s why he loved her. 

             
He kissed her forehead. “I’ll go get Whitney for dinner.  Call Chastity’s cell and see if she’ll be back soon to eat.”

             
Cheryl didn’t have to.  She heard the screen door bang, as her surrogate daughter walked in. 

             
Chastity stepped inside, feeling happy for the first time since she could remember. She quickly sent Anne a text, giving her an update on Timothy, before sticking it back into her pocket. 

             
“Well doesn’t someone look happy?”  Cheryl smiled brightly, as Chastity cascaded in.  “Going Kylie’s house obviously agreed with you.  Did you enjoy seeing where she grew up?” 

             
Chastity thought of Timothy’s teasing voice, and lied.

             
“Yeah, that’s it.”  She grabbed an ice cube from the table, and popped it in her mouth.

             
For now, she wanted to keep Timothy all to herself.  Besides, they weren’t dating, so there was no point in making her feelings public.  She thought back to the neighbor, across the street from her mom’s house, and frowned. 

             
“I ran into someone who wouldn’t stop asking questions about who I was ... and what I doing there.  I couldn’t wait to get away from her.”  Chastity groaned, as she sat down.  “Oh, and this is classic small town for ya’.  When I finally got out of there … I looked across the street, and she was watching me out the window, while on her phone.  Can you believe that?” 

             
Cheryl rolled her eyes.  “I forgot to warn you about Mrs. Thomas.  She’s the town gossip. You’ve probably started the neighborhood a buzz.”  Cheryl giggled and reassured Chastity.  “Don’t worry, no one listens to her.  They can’t wait to get away from her either.”

             
“Hey, kiddo.” Dave leaned down to kiss Chastity’s cheek, as he came downstairs with Whitney.  He reached for her hand, and pulled her into a bear hug. 

             
Chastity’s heart melted.  Dave was the only consistent male role model she had growing up.  As part-time as it was, it made a difference. 

             
“Hey.  How’s my favorite crime fighter?”

             
Instead of answering her, he sent her a mischievous grin and winked down at her, before ushering her to the table to sit.

             
With everything she’d learned over the last couple of weeks, Chastity had a new appreciation for Dave and his strengths.  She knew that he was there in the beginning and offered the support her mother needed.  That meant a lot to her.

             
“All right!  Dig in. Mom got take-out so it’s going to be good tonight!”  Whitney laughed and poked her mom in the side. 

“
Chastity, you should come in town more often so we all can eat this good.  There’s only so much salad and meat loaf a girl can handle.” 

             
Cheryl glared at Whitney and put the rest of the food on the table.

Chapter 29

             
I think the hardest thing is not being able to call you, mom.  I stop myself on a daily basis
from dialing your number.
It’s so unfair that I can’t talk to you. 

             
Chastity rolled her cell over a few times in her hand and continued in thought. 

             
I want to give you updates on what I’m doing ... or what I’m feeling.  I just want to hear from you.  There’s so much to say ... I miss you.

             
She leaned back, to tightly wrap her arms around her legs, drawing them into her chest.  As if her mother was there, Chastity felt warmth spread throughout her body.  The need to be close to her was so intense, that it spurred her to read Kylie’s journal once more.  It was the only way she knew to feel connected to her mom. 

             
I can spend time with you through this. Even though I wasn’t there when you wrote it,
I can be there now mom.
  She reached for the journal, and smiled as she started reading the next entry. 
I really was there with her for this one.

             
I felt it kick today when I was singing the A, B, C’s.  I think it gets the baby excited.  It must recognize the song or the sound of my voice, either one. Little one, you’ll probably be able to recite them when you come out.  I’ve been singing them to you since you were only a few months along. 

             
I can’t wait to meet you.  You’ve already claimed my heart.  I lay my hand on my belly, knowing you’re so tiny and in need my protection.  At first, it was really hard getting the concept through my head that I was having you ... but after making the decision to have you, I knew it was for a reason. 

             
This isn’t something I look forward to doing alone, but I know I have Cheryl’s help ... for at least a little while.  I can’t rely on her forever.  Soon, she’ll have her own life to lead. 

             
I really miss my mom.  She still doesn’t know anything about this, and I know I won’t be able to keep it a secret from her for much longer.  When I came home for Christmas break, she thought my weight gain was due to fast food and late night studying, and I let her believe it. 

             
What a sham … I’m such a liar.  Mom thinks I’m attending college on my scholarship with Cheryl at KU, and experiencing the full life of a freshman.  The only thing close to any college experience I have is what I learn through Cheryl, so I use that to fool mom.  I hate having to lie to her.  Is she going to forgive me if she finds out?

             
How am I going to go through labor with out her?  I’ve been reading books on labor and delivery, and now I’m more scared than ever.  It sounds so painful!  Mom’s the only one who could possibly help me through this.  Cheryl’s great, but she doesn’t have any experience and surely doesn’t understand my mood swings or any bodily functions of a normal pregnant girl.  I just wish I could call and talk to her.  How am I supposed to learn to be a mom myself with out her help?

             
Wow
, thought Chastity. 
What a position to be in.  So when does Grama Wayne come into the picture?  I’ve seen pictures of the two of us when I was a newborn, so I know she had to have been there. 

             
She set the journal on the nightstand and walked into the living room, where the Jenkins family were watching CSI and eating popcorn.  

             
She waited for a commercial break to interrupt. “Hey.  Do you have a second?” 

             
Cheryl saw the apprehensive look on Chastity’s face.  She shook her head and reassured her.  “Yeah, let’s go out back while they finish watching the show.”

             
Chastity put her hand up.  “That’s okay.  It can wait.”

             
“No, really.  It’s a re-run and I was getting ready to go read anyways.  Come out back and I’ll light some mosquito repellent.”

             
As the two of them stepped onto the deck, Cheryl slid the door closed behind them.  After lighting both citronella candles, she joined Chastity.

             
“So what’s on your mind?”  She knew there would be times when she just needed to talk or had some straggling questions. 

             
“I was just reading mom’s journal.”  Chastity smiled, remembering the sweet entry she read.  “And, it was when mom was pregnant.  She said she wasn’t sure about how to tell Grama.  I’ve seen pictures of Grama holding me at the hospital.  How did mom finally tell her?”

             
“Well, your mom had a little pre-term labor at about thirty-five weeks along.  Your due date wasn’t for a few more weeks. Everything ended up okay.  She didn’t give birth, but was ordered back home to bed rest.” 

             
Cheryl watched Chastity’s face, as it was illuminated by the candlelight.  She was such a beautiful girl, just like her mom.

             
“Need some?” She reached for the bug repellent. 

             
Chastity shook her head and lifted her hand to gesture her to continue on. 

             
Cheryl sprayed her arms and legs, and rubbed the repellant in. “Kylie was more than a little distressed over having to be in that situation without her mom.  As always, she didn’t know how to divulge the truth.  She was afraid her mother would be ashamed of her. The thought of what her mother would do with the information scared her even more.”

             
“So when did she call Grama?” 

             
“She didn’t.  I did.  Your mom was so sick and tired at that point.   Seeing Kylie through her last weeks of pregnancy, I knew first hand the last thing she wanted to do was anything other than what was absolutely necessary.  It was hard for her just to put socks on or go pee in a public stall.” 

             
Chastity laughed.  “Great imagery, Cheryl.  Thank you!”

             
“You’re welcome.  See what you have to look forward to one of these days?  Anyway, I called her when we got her back from the hospital.  I knew Kylie would need her mom through labor, and I thought it best to make sure she came as soon as possible.  Anytime your child is in the hospital ... well, a mother should know about that kind of thing.”

             
“How did Grama handle it?” Chastity felt a mosquito bite her leg, and smacked it full force.  “Will you hand me some of that stuff?”

             
Cheryl pushed the can across the table. “She was shocked and understandably upset, but I think on some level she knew something was wrong.  I mean, what child doesn’t come home but only once after leaving for college?  She knew Kylie had been elusive, but just didn’t know how to get her to open up.  After we talked, she was glad to know what was finally going on. Kylie … on the other hand was not so happy with me.”  Cheryl grimaced.  “She got over it pretty quick though.  Especially when she went into labor a couple of weeks later.  She was glad her mom was there with her.”

             
Kylie’s labor went faster than expected.  Little Chastity Marie Wayne was born into the world at 7:09 a.m. after only four hours.  As she lay in her hospital bed, she held her baby in disbelief.  The moment was so surreal that she had to hold her daughter’s little feet in her hands to make sure they were real. 

             
“They’re so tiny!”  She lifted a foot, to show her mom. “Are they normally this tiny?”

             
“Yes, sweetie.” Her mother responded and smiled adoringly at her own daughter.  “She seems so fragile right now, but you’ll soon recognize that she’s tougher than you think.” 

             
Grace Wayne was telling her daughter the same words she’d been repeating to herself for weeks.  Once she found out the truth, she wanted to wring John’s neck or worse, go get her husband’s shotgun and go after him with it.  She didn’t though. 

             
Kylie was priority number one, and her daughter had begged her not to tell anyone.  She couldn’t break that trust because if she did, than to Kylie it would feel like betrayal. 

             
Her daughter had been through enough, and Grace wanted to help her not hurt her.  As it was, she felt like she let her daughter down.  If she had been there for her to begin with, her daughter might have come to her first.  She vowed to be there now, no matter what or who got in the way.

Chapter
30

             
The urge to draw was stronger than it had been in weeks. Chastity’s childhood memories had always been a little out of reach.  Now that she was reading her mother’s journals, she had a whole new understanding of her life.  She pulled out her pencils and pad, needing to remember a little more.