Finding June (23 page)

“You made me crepes?”

“Yes ... I made crepes …” Reece said slowly, not really understanding where I was going with this. Crepes would be the thing that ruined the little love bubble we were living in. Reece was perfect. Even flawed, he was perfect, and this light, fluffy, pancake-like food would be the thing that brought on my self-doubt. Self-doubt was a bitch, who liked to creep up even when you thought you were strong.

“Crepes,” I said bluntly.

Reece turned back around and slid the breakfast onto the plate next to the stove. “Are you mad I made crepes?” he asked as he poured batter in the pan, swirling it around to spread the batter out.

“No. I’m not mad you made crepes. Annoyed you seem to be perfect? Yeah, kind of. What do you suck at?” After the perfect night we had I wasn’t sure why I was freaking out, but it seemed my insecurities liked to rear their ugly head unannounced.

“Well, since you asked …” he said with a wink.

“Not what I meant!” Though that was now what I was thinking about. Damn. “I want a list, Reece. I want a list of all the things you are bad at. Now.”

“June, what is the problem? I am nowhere near perfect, no one is.”

“Everything seems to be so easy for you. I can’t compete with you.” It sounded silly saying it out loud, like a child who just wanted to play with the big kids. Unfortunately, I had said it and I couldn’t do anything about it.

“It isn’t a competition. What is going on in your head right now? It’s just crepes. Flour and a little bit of milk. Really, that’s it.”

“But who makes crepes? What extremely good looking man wakes up and makes crepes for someone like me?” At this point I was only one level below shouting.

“You think I’m good looking?” Reece threw me his half-smile. With him standing there shirtless, hair going in every which direction, I almost,
almost,
forgot how upset I was. I closed my eyes, trying to focus.

“I’m a mess, Reece. You’re not. Do you see the problem?” The words felt wrong and I was annoyed with myself about it all, like I was taking one tiny step forward and racing back a mile. However, I couldn’t help myself; the words were tumbling out of me. The words needed to be said, if only so I could see how ridiculous they sounded out loud compared to in my head.

“Not this again. I’m not perfect. Nowhere close to it. You’re not a mess. Do
you
see the nonexistent problem? This idea you have in your head about us, about who I am and who you are is completely flawed.”

“Then why is everything easy for you? I can’t even figure out what I want in my life, but it seems you’re good at everything.” I was the train conductor at this point, in the middle of orchestrating this giant train wreck of a conversation.

“Again, not true. Not everything is easy for me. You know that, you saw me last night. Stop putting me on this pedestal, June. How many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you? You’re the one hurting yourself right now and I know you’re better than that.” Anger I rarely heard from Reece was in his voice. He stopped talking and focused on his crepes. Silence fell over us. I could tell he was trying to compose himself, trying to calm down. I awkwardly stood there, irritated with myself and Reece. After a few more moments of silence, in a calmer voice he stated, “But if you are so hell bent to know my flaws, I will tell you. Grab a plate of food and sit your ass down. These are perfect I must say.”

I was still angry over the crepes even if Reece had calmed down. And I was angry over what he had said, because it was true. I was only hurting myself. I huffed and puffed as I grabbed the plate of food. After I’d moved over to the small table we had tea over, I took a bite out of the crepes.

Goddammit!

They
were
perfect crepes.

As I attacked them, Reece sat down next to me with his own plate of food.

“Okay, you want to know my flaws?”

I nodded as I shoveled food in my face. I saw Reece discreetly give Morrison a piece of his crepe. I didn’t blame him; I also had given in too many times, sneaking Morrison food. His puppy eyes were too much cuteness. I focused again on Reece.

“You asked for it. You probably won’t even made eye contact with me after I tell you all of this.” His tone was light, trying to diffuse the tension.

I highly doubted that. I was in need of reassurance, that whatever was going on between us was not going to be the same as with Owen, where I never felt like I was good enough. I needed to know I was on even ground with Reece. Sometimes I had no shame. Okay, most of the time I had no shame. Semantics.

“First, I’m no good at math.”

I waved my fork in the air, brushing off his first flaw. “Oh yeah that doesn’t count. No one is good at math and that is a skill not applicable in life. Next.”

He laughed, the earlier anger completely gone as he took another bite. “Hmm. I’m not really a good flyer. I panic on planes. I prefer to drive and did between the places I lived.”

I thought about it. “Flying? Passable, but I want something big. Something that either completely terrifies you or you’re really bad at.”

“You don’t hold anything back, June, do you? You always want one hundred percent honesty.”

“I guess. It is like when you are window shopping. You see something in the window you have to have, but when you get in the store you find something wrong with it. It could be the wrong size or the price is out of your budget, but you still buy it with its flaws.”

“You’re lucky I have a sister and understand that analogy. Kind of. But I get it, you want the whole picture and if I am being completely honest, I want you to know me, June. It’s been a long time since I have wanted anyone to truly know me.”

This man and his words, they blew me away that was for sure. They did something to me, made me believe love was more than being comfortable in a relationship, but it could be about finding someone who understood you as easily as you understood yourself, maybe even better.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me any more of your flaws,” I said, taking a drink of my coffee.

Reece chuckled. “Hopefully, we’ll spend enough time together you will eventually find them all.” He grabbed both of our plates and put them in the sink to wash off. I joined him with our cups, and together we washed the few dishes we had dirtied. As I was drying the dishes and putting them away, I realized Reece had never answered the question about what really terrified him, but I let it slide. I hoped what Reece said was true and I would be able to spend enough time with him to find out what it was.

Sitting on my couch cuddling with Morrison after Reece left, I spent the rest of the day thinking of the last twenty-four hours. I had spent the whole day and night with Reece and enjoyed it. I didn’t want it to end, and I wasn’t sure exactly where my feelings were going. Or at least, I wasn’t ready to admit anything. I hadn’t decided if it was lust, infatuation, or something more. I could deal with lust or infatuation. It made sense for me to find interest in another guy, it was time after being with Owen for so long and having had an appropriate amount of time to grieve the end of the relationship. However, if it was something more, something more than lust, I didn’t know if I was ready. I still had two more weeks of the deal, so I decided to enjoy whatever this was and I would figure things out then. For my sanity, it seemed like the best plan.

Saturdays could go fuck themselves.

No seriously.

I despised working Saturday nights. I loved my job, except for that night. People who went out to eat on Saturdays were different than people who went out to eat during the week. They were the people who lived for the weekends. They were people who came into town to grab groceries and food, not really knowing how to eat in public properly, and don’t even get me started on the less than stellar tips. I was currently halfway through my Saturday night shift and closing with a girl who had only been there for about a month. Her name was Caroline and she was obnoxious as hell; she wouldn’t shut up. Every time you asked her a question, she couldn’t simply answer with a yes or no. She had to give you at least a thirty second explanation and I honestly didn’t give two shits about what she was saying. I didn’t have time to listen to whatever bullshit excuse she wanted to throw at me. Yes or no was all I wanted, or a simple answer in ten words or less. Was that too much to ask? For Caroline it was.

I had shitty tables all night and I was on my last nerve. I was pissed I was closing with Cant-Shut-Your-Gob Caroline. All I wanted was to go home and curl up with a glass of wine and a sappy girly movie. Reece was working tonight, but since our little sleepover last week, I unfortunately hadn’t seen him as much as I wanted. He still made sure to touch me whenever he could, whether it was passing behind me or a shoulder squeeze when he walked past me to grab the door. I would glance up and catch him watching me with those eyes, and I’d have to turn away before he caught the red that crept into my cheeks. The man made me blush more than I was comfortable with.

My next table was five rowdy boys around my age. I was, of course, flirting with them because what server didn’t flirt with their tables if the circumstance arose? People gotta make money. I was grabbing the pitchers of beer I had convinced them to get when Reece walked up to the bar and grabbed his mixed drinks for his table.

“What are you doing tonight?” he asked as he put the drinks on a tray.

“Closing with Caroline.” I grabbed the cold glasses away from Hank, our bartender.

“Ouch. The one that doesn’t shut up?”

“Yep. That would be the one.”

“You should see if Bethany will close for you, doesn’t she owe you one anyway?” Reece said as he took his tray of drinks and walked to his table.

That was right, she did owe me for when I had switched with her a few weeks back. And I was so done with this day, I had lost the motivation for making money. I just wanted to go home.

I marched up to Bethany and asked if she wanted to close for me, telling her she owed me. After some minor bitching she agreed to it. I gave her a dose of her own medicine and told her whom she was closing with. One evil glare from Bethany and two more tables later I was finally phased and working on my side work, my night suddenly looking up.

After the table of rowdy boys had finally left, four pitchers of beer later, I went to go clean up the table. I found on the back of the receipt a phone number and a handwritten note that said,
Your cute. Call me!
with the number below. I wasn’t even going to touch the fact he used the wrong
your,
but put the receipt in a cup and threw it away. The guy who had left me the note was pretty cute and had flirted with me the whole time. I flirted back because I wanted to make money and it paid off; each boy had left me at least five dollars or more. The guy who left his number gave me ten. I wasn’t interested, but it was still nice to know people found you attractive. The guy who left the note and his poor grammar skills was the first hit; any guy my age needed to know the difference between your and you’re. Hell, most seventeen year olds needed to know the difference.

I put the note in the back of my mind and concentrated on busting my ass and getting out of there. Reece got phased shortly before me, but because I was rocking my side work we ended up rolling silverware together. We had more than half of the restaurants worth of silverware to roll. I wanted to bash my head against the wall. I threw some napkins on the counter as Reece walked up to me with the rest of the forks.

“Looks like we will be rolling for a while,” Reece said as he grabbed a stack of napkins from me.

I sighed as I grabbed a knife and a fork and started to roll.

“What are you doing when you get off work?” Reece repeated the question from earlier.

“Going home, I’m beat and want to go to sleep.”

“Which means I can’t convince you to have a drink with me? It’s Saturday night, you should go out and have some fun.”

“I have fun. Fun at home sleeping.”

“How about I win a drink from you.”

“How will you do that?”