Finding Jaime (22 page)

“Shh”—I press my finger to her lips—“not yet.”

Seeing her chest rise and fall with anticipation is turning me on. Never would I ever have thought I would be in this situation with anybody, let alone Joss. Just taking away her control, preparing her for what I have in store, is so fucking sexy I can feel the heat between my legs increasing with every passing second. Her pleading eyes are dark; her pupils dilated making the azure of her iris disappear into a thin band around the blackness.

I move my hands to her corset, and I work the top clasp free. Her breathing hitches, her tits shiver with the movement, and I concentrate on my fingers—resisting the urge to run my hands over her round orbs. I continue releasing each claps of her bodice until I reach the last one. I pop it and open the panels, exposing her. I swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth from witnessing the tightness of her peaks, just begging to be pinched. Her back arches when I tug on the fabric, and yank it out from underneath her.

Maybe I’m into this kink more than I thought?

My throat is like sandpaper, the desperation to quench my thirst becoming unbearable. I’m not giving up, I can’t. I’ve gone too far to stop. I find the concealed zipper at the side of her skirt, and I pull down. I want to reach inside and feel if this is turning her on as much as me. My clit is throbbing, the dampness beginning to leak through the fabric of my thong.
 

Joss lifts her hips and rubs her thighs together as I slide her skirt under her ass and down her long legs until it’s free. My hand trembles when I reach out to the tiny scrap of purple intricate lace covering her pussy.

Joss’ ragged breaths are audible in the silence, and even though I have her under my control, she nods her head when I run my finger over the waistband. This is the first time I’ve seen her in this light, and without her mask, and I’m amazed that I’m not disturbed at what I’m doing to her. My whole body is tense, and if I don’t carry out with what I planned, there’s a chance I’ll come to my senses and stop.

I keep my eyes on my hands and work the last piece of her dignity over her feet and drop them to the floor. I look up to the newly uncovered area decorated with a small strip of neat hairs.

Not yet, Jaime. Make her wait—make her feel what you felt.

I listen to my thoughts and agree. I take an ankle and repeat the restraints on her wrists. I stand back and observe the woman on my bed, the same woman who made me feel alive, made me see myself for who I am, spread out and bare.

Now it begins.

I let my gaze move painfully up her sun-kissed skin until I meet her concerned, yet dark eyes. “How do you feel?”

“Vulnerable, exposed, powerless…”

I let my smile spread lazily. “That’s how you made me feel at the club. I had no control over my body there.” The gates are opening in my chest, threatening to spill everything at once. “When I saw you after, you knew exactly who I was, and that was the ultimate control over me. I opened myself to you, and I was more vulnerable there with you than any other time in my fucking life.

“You could’ve told me at any fucking time, Joss. You could’ve admitted that you knew me, and we could’ve saved all of this from happening. But no. I felt shitty at using you to explore my sexuality when it was you who used me, and you had the audacity to lecture
me
on it.”

Joss screws her eyes shut and a tear escapes. “I wasn’t certain you liked me that way!” she cries. “Jaime, I wanted to make sure you were comfortable in your own skin before I told you. I wanted to tell you how I felt from the moment we met, but you seemed attracted to men. I didn’t have a chance with you so when I had the opportunity, yeah I took it, and no, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry because the night you walked into that club and was made aware of what it was, you knew what you wanted.” Joss pants from her sudden allowance to speak, and I agree.

“You’re right, I did. I wanted you, but the girl there made me feel good about myself. She showed me how I could let go and just be me.” I pick up my crop and lightly tap it in my palm.

She never made anything clear when she was being herself!

Didn’t she…Jaime?
 

My warring thoughts show me how much I didn’t see because I was too wrapped up in what was going on with myself, that I couldn’t see what was in front of me. The awkward hugs, the looks, the hidden messages. Fuck, she was hinting all along, and I never figured it out!

“She’s me, Jaime.” Joss’ soft voice, the same one I’d heard over and over in House, cuts into my thoughts and hits me square in the chest. “I’m that girl, but I couldn’t be myself in public because I didn’t want to startle you. I wanted you to be certain before I put myself out there. Jaime, do you remember what I said about using me?”

I do remember, and I don’t understand the relevance. “Yeah?”

“I was with a girl in college, and she used me to experiment. I never doubted who I was, but she made me feel like I was a joke, that I could be used in that way for her own games. Now you see why I never said anything?”

My anger bubbles up, and I raise the crop over her. I gently tap the tip on her nipple, and she moans, the sound exciting my senses. I like this a hell of a lot, and I want more.

“So you thought I’d use you because I wasn’t satisfied sexually? That I would do something like that?”

“I didn’t want to use
you!
” she yells, and I pause above her other nipple. “I had to hear you talk about your shitty sex, and I’d heard those stories so many times in my life, I could’ve told you right then that you were looking in the wrong place. But it wasn’t for me to tell you that. So I sat back and watched you with other men, and I hated it. So when you came into the club, I knew it was the only way I could get you to open up and be yourself.”

“You did all of that for me?” My insides plummet, my anger simmering for now. Her reasons make perfect fucking sense, and I know if the tables were turned, I would do the same for her. I tap her nipple, and she squirms. I look down and see her juices trickle.

Joss squirms against the restraints, her tits wobble, and her stomach muscles tense. “It hurt so much to see you confused and hiding away under your tough shell and smart mouth. I just wanted to be with you, Jaime, the way you should be. You have to know I didn’t intend to go that far. I planned to just get you to admit it out loud before I came clean, but I couldn’t stop myself the second you kissed me.”

See? She tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t let her.

Fuck my thoughts and my stupid ass ignorance. It’s time to set things in motion, to finish this thing tonight, and start fresh in the morning.

I stroke the crop carefully down her stomach and reach her glistening pussy. I tap the end over her clit; her head flies back, and she screams. I press the flat end harder against it and wiggle it about, stimulating her.
 

“Oh God!” she cries.

I see the wetness sliding down, dripping off of her and my mouth dries up more than ever. I throw my crop to the side and climb onto the bed. Her spread legs gives me the best angle of her reddened folds. I press against her with my index finger and stroke over her clit, teasing it in a circle.

“Jai—” Tears trickle out of her eyes.

“Shh.”

I continue to play with her exposed pussy and allow my finger to circle her hole. I look up into her eyes. Her pupils are large; her skin is flushed and damp with perspiration. I don’t break eye contact as I slip inside of her. It’s so warm and wet, the walls contract around my finger and liquid coats me. I imagine how I like it, and I mimic the action. I turn my palm upwards and add another finger. I find the soft, spongy spot inside and run my fingers over the rippled surface.
 

Joss’ back arches and she pulls harder against the restraints, but they hold her tight.

“I don’t think so, Joss,” I chuckle. “You’re going to come, and I’m going to watch as you do.”

Her slick walls squeeze my fingers. “Please, Jaime. Oh God, I’m right there.”

I want to make her come, but knowing how much this is turning both of us on, I decide I want to be cruel. I want to take away all of her control, so I stop and withdraw my soaked fingers.

“No, please Jaime,” she weeps. Her hips buck up and down.

My fingers are covered in her juices. I bring my hand to my mouth and lick the tips. Her sweet flavor bursts on my tongue, and I suck my fingers into my mouth, salivating with hunger.

“God, you taste good” I moan. I stare down at her glistening slit, and I place my hands on her thighs to get closer. I can smell her sweet arousal, and I want it in my mouth. Without pause, I lean closer and close my lips around her nub, sucking the tight bud and juices into my mouth. I flick my tongue over the hard bud and release it with a pop. Joss squirms frantically against the cuffs, crying out and saying my name over and over.

I place the tip of my tongue at her opening and push inside before lazily licking up between her swollen folds. Up and down, again and again, alternating between licking and sucking. I rub her clit with my fingers as I gorge on her.

“Jaime, Jaime!”

She pushes her hips up on my face, but I don’t let her get off. No, I want it too, and my own pussy is throbbing with pain.

“What are you doing?” she asks when I stand above her. I shed my clothing and underwear, and her eyes zero in on the dampness caused by owning her.

“I want it,” she breathes, lifting her head off the pillow. “Let me taste you.”

“No,” I reply. “I’m going to get off, and so are you, but these are my rules, and I say how this goes.”

She groans, and her nipples look as though they’re going to burst. I kneel between her legs and bend over to take her tits into my hands. They’re soft and delicious, and I want her nipples raw. I press soft kisses over her chest and down between her heavy globes. I lick the cleavage and then swirl my tongue around and around until I reach a tight peak. I flick my tongue over the end then close my mouth around it while massaging her.

“Jaime,” Joss sobs. I look up and see her tears flowing, and my heart sinks.

I rise above her, our mouths a breath apart. “What?”

“Please, Jaime,” she says. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Butterfly,” I whisper and smile at her confusion. “You did what you did to help me. I found myself, because of you. I know that now.”

I lower my body against hers and with a free hand I release one cuff, then another. Joss wraps her arms around me and I feel like I’ve just come home. I slowly press my mouth to hers and get lost in her kisses as her tongue swirls with mine, her fingers gripping my hair, holding me tight, and whimpering her apologies.

Joss’ hips buck against me, and I rock my pelvis into hers. Our clits rub together, and the electricity builds with lightning shooting out over my body. Our breaths mingle together between kisses and I grip onto the headboard for support as I push against her. I lift one leg over hers, then the other so I’m straddling her. She lifts her body up on an angle, so our tits are pressing against each other as I slowly rub myself on her.
 

“Jaime,” she whispers against my mouth.

I can barely control myself as the pressure builds inside of me with each roll of my hips. My pussy clenches with pent up desire, my center is ready to explode, and the entire surface of my skin is prickling. I’m ready to come, and the unexpected force that explodes from within has my toes curling so far into the soles of my feet it hurts.

“Joss, I’m ready,” I pant.

She nods. “Jaime, take me there.”

She rolls her hips with mine, and I cry out in ecstasy. Liquid flows out of me, and Joss reaches down to grab my ass, forcing me harder against her, and I come apart. I can’t breathe when every part of me spasms.

We gasp for air, soaked in each other’s sweat, and I love it. I wipe her hair away from her beautiful face and kiss her lips tenderly. Her fingers run through my hair, holding my head to hers, kissing me again.

“So, uh, I have a confession,” I say with a smirk. The worried look in her eyes has me giggling. “I think it’s safe to say that I’m definitely into girls.”

Joss laughs too, but then her expression takes on a serious tone. “Hopefully just this one?”

I look into her expectant eyes, still wet from her tears. “Joss, are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?”

She kisses me once. “I am, Jaime. If you can forgive me…”

“Shh.” I press my finger against her lips. “There’s nothing to forgive.” I run my nose along hers. “But if you want to be punished, I have the equipment, and I know the place…”

“Mi Casa et Su casa,” she beams.

Chapter 19.

“I’m scared,” I say as Joss and I walk through the outer door to House. “Your mom—”

“She understands,” Joss cuts in and squeezes my hand. She turns to me and presses her palm against my cheek. “You were never meant to find out like that, and she came to the shop to help me figure out a way to tell you without getting distracted.”

Her eyes fall to my lips.
“You’re
the distraction,” I laugh and pull her close to me. “I’m sorry, again, for not giving you the chance to tell me here.”