Finding Home (29 page)

“Stop sending her mixed messages. It’s not fair to her or you.” Gramps being the tough old bastard he is gets into my face. “Figure it out, Ben. But, until you do, give her a break.” Pointing out to her, he smiles kindly. “She’s special, that one. Leave her alone.” He brushes past me and walks outside into the night. The dance floor is crowded, but I could find her anywhere. Watching them dance, moving in time to the music, is my own personal hell.

Jack’s hand moves lower down her back, and she smiles timidly. He fucking leans in to whisper something in her ear. She laughs, and I’m sure he’s charming the shit out of her. I want to fucking kill him as my blood begins to boil. “That should be me,” I whisper to Jenny.

“Yeah, it should be.” Jenny’s hip bumps into mine, jamming some of my rage. “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Gramps is right. How many whacks on the head are you going to need?” Raising her palm up in a threatening manner, I brace myself for it. Instead, she lowers her hand, shrugs her shoulders, and steps away from me, leaving me alone. I’m alone.

The music has finally stopped and their dance is over. Jack leans in one more time as she speaks into his ear. He nods and turns away from her. He approaches me with a devious smile that screams trouble. Going on pure gut, I grab his jacket lapels and get up in his face. “What the hell, man? What did you whisper to her? And don’t think I didn’t notice your hand sliding down toward her ass!”

“Chill, man.” He pulls my clenched fingers off his jacket and smoothes out the wrinkles. “I did that to make you jealous. Did it work?”
That smug bastard
.

“Yeah it did, you ass.” I steal a glance behind him to check if she’s making her way over, but she’s not there. “And where the fuck is she?”

“She left. Did you really think she would stay here after you turned her down?” He leans in closer to me, taking an offensive stance. “You stand around all night staring at her, watching her, even touching her. She decides to take a chance on you, again, and you turn her down flat. Man the fuck up.” He motions for Jenny to come back over. “Stop holding your dick in your hands. Let someone else do that for you.” I silently laugh at the irony of his statement.

“Hey, Jelly Bean. Want to dance and leave this douche bag alone and miserable?”

“Alone and miserable. Not a good combination.” She places her hand through the crook of his arm. “I’d love to dance. Between Gramps, you, and me, maybe the whacks are working.”

Flipping them both off, I try to regain focus on the fact that Sam left. I should have noticed her leave, but I’m too wrapped up in my own shit. I let her run out on me this time.
Fuck!

Moments ago I was ready to bolt, but now all I want is to stay. I want her to stay. I want to hear her laughter, see her smile, taste her skin, and move within her. She ran this time, but instead of being on standby, I need to go after her.

My feet move quickly, exiting the tent. I move toward the house, but there are no lights on. Trying to decide where to go next, I notice a figure walking over to the barn. As I get closer, the faint light from inside illuminates her shadowy outline as she enters the barn.

Time to man-up.

Ben’s eyes followed me everywhere I went tonight, and when I would dance with other men his entire posture and face changed. He wants me. I can tell. When I risked opening my big mouth to ask him to dance, he shot me down cold. His response caught me off guard, but it wasn’t unexpected. He has me so mixed-up; my signals are all fucked up. Thank God for Jack stepping in and saving me from complete embarrassment.

During my dance with Jack, I could feel Ben’s anger building. I’ll admit it was nice to have the upper hand for once. I could sense his desire for me but I need some air to breathe. He manages to suck it all away from being in the same room. It’s my turn to run but I go right to the place where I know he’ll find me. I have had enough of playing his game. It’s time to decide if I should take the loss or go for the win.

As I step farther into the barn, I move over to the large oak barrels lined up against the wall. The smell is heavenly, and my mood begins to improve. The air I’ve been searching for is found as I inhale the sweet scent. My peace doesn’t last long, though; I can feel his presence before he even enters the barn. My body continues its steady pace toward the back where the light is dim. The hairs on the back of my neck rise as I feel his body move closer to me. I keep my mouth shut tight so nothing will spill out. It’s his turn to talk, to take a chance. Not mine.

“You ran this time.” His voice is gruff and forces me to momentarily stop my route.

“I did. The difference between my running and yours is that I went to where you would find me.” I feel his arm touch my shoulder to turn me around so I face him. My mind tells me we should talk, but I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. My body wants him and to deny it any longer is painful. Pushing my fear aside, I brace myself for what I’m about to do. “Why did you follow me?”

“I had to. Let’s not run anymore. I’m done with denying this.” His hands move to cup my face, tilting it up.

“I asked you to dance, and you said no.”

“I’m a fucking idiot. Watching you dance with Jack nearly killed me. That should have been me dancing with you. Touching you. Holding you.”

“So, why didn’t you?”

Chuckling softly, he whispers, “I’m a fucking pussy.” He hangs his head in shame. “I knew if I touched you one more time tonight, I’d be gone.” My breath hitches as his thumb strokes my bottom lip. Opening for him slightly, I nip the tip of it before speaking.

“Well, you’re touching me right now. Are you gone?”

Taking his hands away, he anxiously rubs his hair while he steps closer to me. Leaning into me, he whispers in my ear, “You have no idea how you affect me.”

My legs wobble as I feel his hot breath against my tender skin. Trying to gain some ground I press him even further. Holding him in place, I nibble on his ear while whispering back. “You didn’t answer me.” His growl confirms I’m winning this match.

“Fuck, Sam! You know I’m gone.”

He grabs both my shoulders and pushes me backward until I slam into the stack of barrels. We’re so close together that the only thing separating us is our clothes. My back arches as the smell of wine lingers in the air. His eyes darken as his lustful glare melts through me. My body responds to his heat.
Time to go in for the kill
. “How gone are you?”

He doesn’t answer with words. His lips clearly send the message as they ravage me to the point of numbness. Breaking contact, he steps away, staring me deeply in the eyes.

“Does that answer your question?” The serious look on his face gives me my answer. I know his body wants me, but my mind needs to know that if we do this, he won’t run again.

“What are you doing, Ben? I’m done with this back and forth. Make up your mind. Right here, right now.” I reach out to grab his jacket lapels to pull him even nearer to me. “Tell me what you want.” My hand lifts up, caressing his earlobe then moving along his jaw line, stopping under his bottom lip.

“Tell me that my touch excites you. Tell me that my kiss consumes you. Tell me that my body corrupts you. Tell me.” My fingers glide across his lips and cover them; not letting him speak. His tongue slips out and licks my fingertips. My voice is barely audible as my desire for him wreaks havoc through me. “Tell me, Ben. Because that’s what you do to me, and it’s not fair to wait any longer.” My hand stays in place while I silently pray that he’ll tell me what I want to hear. “So, tell me you want me. Because I want you, all of you.”

He takes hold of my hand and kisses my palm, holding it steady, while chuckling. “Can I talk now?”

“Sorry, you know I tend to ramble.” He silences me with a brief kiss while grabbing my hands and lifting them above my head. The intimate move shoots straight to my core, begging for some relief. The urge to thrust into him burns through me, so I give into it. The growl coming from him pushes me to do it again. He meets my thrust, pinning me further into the barrels.

“Three things you should know, Sam.” His body is so close to mine that with just a few more thrusts I’d be done for. He flashes me that cocky grin as he surges into me, knowingly. My vocal whimpers urge him on. “Number one: I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you. You stir up desire that I thought was dead and buried. Number two: I’m affected by you. Everything you feel, I feel. Yes to your touch.”
His grip tightens around my wrists
. “Yes to your kiss.”
He softly brushes my lips
. “Yes to your body.”
Another thrust
. He pauses to stare deeply into my eyes. “And number three: I don’t want to wait any longer.”
Contact.

His lips connect with mine, and I feel so out of control. He takes his time kissing me as if he’s savoring it. He licks, nips, and sucks then twirls his tongue in perfect unison with mine. He holds my hands firmly above my head not allowing me to touch him. I try to move them, but he won’t give in. “You can’t touch me yet. Not until I’m done touching you. You were in control last time, now it’s my turn.

“Yes,” I barely whisper because his gruffness is a total turn on.

“Can I have you right here?”

I only nod. My ability to speak fades fast. A year without intimate contact is far too long. Finding my voice, I hoarsely reply to him, “Please, don’t stop.

Letting go of my hands, I immediately pull at his hair, attacking his lips and neck with my mouth. His hands roam my body finding the hem of my dress. Slowly he lifts it, exposing my lace panties. His lips leave mine as he slides them down my legs. He follows their path and kneels on the floor, staring at my swollen clit.

“Hold onto the railing above you. I want my taste now.” I do as he says and grab onto the railing that hold the barrels in place. Taking my legs, he spreads them wide. I open myself up for him. He leans his head in and inhales deeply. “You smell amazing—you mixed with the wine. It’s the most erotic scent I’ve ever smelled.”
Holy fuck!

“Oh God!”

I feel his nose sweep over my clit. “He’s not going to help you now.” Ben takes one leg and lifts it over his shoulder and dives in. His tongue ravages me from one end to the other. It works a perfect sensual rhythm just like his kisses. He twists and twirls it slowly around my folds before concentrating on my clit. I feel him stop and his tongue leaves my clit.

“Ben. Mmm. Don’t stop. I’m so close.”

I hear him chuckle as he goes back for more. This time his tongue finds my opening and he thrusts it in and out while his thumb works my clit. The intensity is so overwhelming that it brings me to the precipice of what I know will be an orgasm so earth-shattering that pleads for him to finish me off. “Ben, please. More. Please.”

His thumb leaves my clit, and his tongue replaces it. He clamps down on it and slips one finger inside me. My other leg instinctively lays on his other shoulder. Using the bar for support, I lift myself up, pressing myself even harder into his mouth. I feel him slip another finger in and it curls with the ‘come here’ motion. The familiar pulsating begins to shoot through me at a rapid-fire rate. He circles his tongue one more time before clamping down on it again. That’s all it takes to send me into oblivion. I scream his name into the silent barn, listening as it echoes back to me. Carefully, Ben removes my trembling legs and places them on the floor. I try to regain some control over my body, but my entire balance is off.

“Holy shit, Sam. That’s even better than I imagined. Devouring you once won’t be enough.” Words fail me as the only thing I can do is shake my head and stare back at him as he rises off the floor. “Sam. Are you okay?”

I nod again then clear my throat. “Yeah, wow. That was … wow. Sorry. I can’t think right now. For once, I have no words.”

“Ha. Well, I’m glad to know I made you speechless. I like the effect I have on you with just my tongue and fingers.” He licks my lips before he touches my arms. “Babe, you can let go of the railing now. I need to take you upstairs and finish what we started.”

Laughing at my predicament, I don’t let go. “So, here’s the thing. I’m afraid that if I let go of the railing, I’ll fall down on my ass.”

“You are too much. Let go. I’ve got you.” One arm comes around my waist to hold me steady. I tentatively let go and place my hands on his shoulders. Ben’s other hand slides down and picks up my leg. “Wrap your legs around me. I’m taking you upstairs. Now.” I lock my legs around him in anticipation of having him inside me. It sends my core pulsing again.

“I want you. I need you inside me. Hurry, Ben.”

“Fuck, babe. Hold on tight.”

Ben’s feet make quick work up the stairs as we ascend to what’s sure to be a night I won’t soon forget. I only hope with each step he takes, it’s one to our future.