Finding Forever (6 page)

A
few minutes later,
Whitney was quite aware she didn’t have that willpower — not at all — because as Liam pressed her against the wall and sipped from her lips, she was jelly in his hands.

Within seconds, her knees buckled and only the hardness of his body was responsible for holding her up.

Whitney knew with every fiber of her being that this was wrong, that she didn’t even like the man, that there was no way she should be giving herself to him, but she couldn’t seem to stop the madness.

After he plundered her mouth for a few moments, he shifted, and then she was being lifted into his arms and carried to the very inviting couch sitting in front of the burning fireplace.

He laid her down and then stretched his body out across her, pushing his hips against hers, making her moan with the pleasure of having his arousal cushioned right where she wanted it to be.

On the tip of her tongue were the words that would stop this, but she couldn’t force herself to say them. Not when it felt so good, so right.

He tore his lips from hers, but only so he could trail his tongue down the side of her neck. He sucked her skin into his hot mouth and scraped his teeth over the point where her pulse was pounding.

“Liam …,” she moaned as his fingers made quick work of slipping beneath her sweater and traveling up the taut skin of her stomach.

“You taste so incredible, Whitney,” he moaned before drawing the sweater over her head and letting it slip to the floor.

This would be a great time to come to her senses, but as his mouth found her lace-covered nipple and he sucked it inside, all she did was arch up against him, overcome with pleasure.

He reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra, leaving her upper half bare to him. He massaged her tender breast with one hand while his mouth continued making magic with that swollen nipple.

When he left the sensitive peak and his mouth slid back up her neck, she writhed against him, feeling an ache unlike anything she’d ever imagined feeling before. Pressing her hips upward, she reveled in the feel of his hardness seated against her.

Thoughts evaporated as his lips captured hers once again, burning her up in a passion so intense that colors flashed behind her eyelids.

Just as he reached for her jeans, the lights suddenly flashed back on, and the phone began ringing. It took a second for Whitney to realize what was happening, and Liam was unaware of any of it.

But the distraction was exactly what she needed to come to her senses.

“Liam, stop!” she cried out, her voice hoarse and thick with passion.

But he did stop. Slowly, he lifted his head, his eyes hooded, blazing with lust and confusion.

“Don’t make me stop, Whitney. We both want this, and you know it.”

“This has gone way too far, Liam. Please … please get off me,” she said, suddenly on the verge of tears.

This wasn’t the type of woman she was. She didn’t make out with strangers, and she certainly didn’t allow them to strip her and nearly ravish her. The only thing she could blame this on was temporary insanity.

“The phone is ringing,” she told him.

For a brief moment she saw anger and then frustration rage through his eyes, but then he blanked his expression and sat up. As soon as he was walking toward his phone, she shot up and grabbed her bra and sweater, turning her back to him as she threw the garments on. She was grateful there wasn’t a mirror anywhere in the room.

She had no doubt her hair was a mess and the little makeup she was wearing was smeared. A woman didn’t get ravished so thoroughly — okay, not quite ravished, but why put a fine point on it? — without looking like it.

Running her fingers through her hair to smooth it out, she listened to the clipped tones Liam used with the caller on the other end of the line. When he hung up, she looked in his direction without looking into his eyes.

“That was Mr. Smotter. My father’s concerned and is sending him over here right away to give you a ride home.”

There was no emotion at all in his tone. That was so like Liam’s usual style.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

She turned and moved toward the door, afraid to even look in the man’s direction. She should have realized, though, that she wasn’t getting away quite that easily.

“Whitney.” Those two syllables were spoken in a tone of utter command.

She turned slowly back toward him, afraid of what was coming next. And she had every right to feel that fear. Because the look in Liam’s eyes assured her that he wasn’t finished with her — not even close to being finished.

She fled.

It didn’t take long for Mr. Smotter to arrive, and when he did, she sprinted to his car and didn’t say a word on the short ride back home. She gave him a quiet thank-you when they arrived, and she went straight to her bedroom and practically fell into her bathroom.

Even after a hot shower, a cup of soothing tea, and hours of lying in bed wide awake, she still couldn’t find sleep. She wasn’t sure whether she was more upset that she’d nearly made love to Liam or that she hadn’t completed the act.

Either way, she spent the entire night tossing and turning — and incredibly angry with Liam for making her suffer this way.

W
here were you
last night, Auntie?”

Whitney rubbed the sleep from her eyes with one hand and used the other to try to contain a very wiggly niece. She wasn’t a morning person on the best of days, and she was particularly not a morning person when she’d spent a night tossing and turning.

She’d somehow managed to resist falling into Liam’s bed the day before, but she would never know exactly how. Such temptation … Just thinking about it again sent her into a near panic.

“Auntie? Hello? Are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry, Ally. I zoned out. I just didn’t sleep very well last night. You see, I got stuck in the storm, and then the thunder kept me awake …” She trailed off at the innocent look on her niece’s face. Why was she trying to explain herself? Ally wouldn’t and shouldn’t have a clue about the kiss and more that her aunt and uncle had shared.

Just the thought of her niece knowing anything about it horrified Whitney even more.

“You promised to make a snowman with me today; remember?”

“Yes, of course I do, baby girl. Why don’t you go and get snow clothes on? I’ll take a shower. Then we’ll have some breakfast and go outside.”

Ally jumped from her bed, more than happy to accommodate her aunt now that she knew she was getting what she wanted. Whitney threw herself back on the pillows and took several deep breaths. She couldn’t keep staying in Felton territory. It was messing with her mind.

But the thought of taking away the kids when they were doing so well made her heart ache. And the thought of leaving them there, even though she knew they would have a much more privileged life than she could give them — well, even knowing that, the idea almost made her heart stop.

Closing her eyes wasn’t the best idea, though, because the second she did, all she could see was Liam’s face moving toward hers as he prepared to kiss her.

“No. This isn’t going to happen. Today I won’t have inappropriate thoughts about Liam Felton. Not once,” she said as she climbed out of bed.

Whitney finished her shower, dressed with warm clothes for the nasty day, and walked down the quiet hallway to search of Ally. She saw a group of the household staff at the large windows on the rear side of the home, and her curiosity drew her to the spot. One of the servants turned at the sound of her footsteps and gave her a welcoming smile.

“Come join us, Ms. Steele,” the woman said.

Whitney walked to the window and looked outside. It took her a moment, but she spotted Liam and Brayden riding on horseback in the lower pasture. Her heart swelled with joy when she saw Brayden’s face blossoming in a beautiful smile.

He looked so at ease down there with Liam, and had the air of a budding young man; he no longer seemed like the angry little boy he’d become this last year.

All her worries really were unnecessary. It was more than clear that she’d made the right choice in bringing the children to their grandfather’s home, even if her heart was breaking a bit each day at the thought that she might lose them to this family.

No. It wasn’t about her; it was about their happiness and safety. And if being with their lost family was best for them, she’d somehow be able to accept that. She’d do anything to make sure her sister’s two children had the happiest possible life, filled with love, laughter, and opportunity.

“It’s so good to see him smiling,” Whitney whispered.

“Yes, I agree with you, Miss. It’s also nice to see that smile on Mr. Liam’s face. It’s been a very long time,” the maid said with a sheen of tears in her eyes. “I shouldn’t say this, but he was given so much responsibility after his brother left, and he’s taken that on his shoulders with no complaints. But I haven’t seen joy on his face in a long time. He really does like having you and the children here.”

“Oh, I’m just along for the ride. This is all about the kids,” Whitney said with a laugh she didn’t feel.

“You’ve brought a brightness to these cold walls that was really needed here, and we’re all thankful for that,” Mr. Smotter said as he joined them.

Whitney hadn’t even heard the man approach. A blush spread over her cheeks.

“You have all been so kind to me since I got here. I couldn’t ask for anything more than that. Thank you,” Whitney told them, and then she fled.

If they’d said anything more to her, she might have fallen apart. And with Christmas not that far away, and with the happiness of her niece and nephew on the line, she didn’t have time for that sort of weakness.

Right now she needed to find her niece, and she needed to build a snowman. If she focused only on the small stuff, took each moment one at a time, she might just manage to make it through all this.

Doubtful, but she was determined to try anyway.

I
t’s been two
days, and while I applaud your creative ways of avoiding me, don’t you think it’s time we speak about this?”

Whitney jumped at the sound of Liam whispering in her ear. She’d seen him come into the house an hour earlier, and she’d managed to escape his notice — or so she’d thought.

Apparently she wasn’t as stealthy as she’d hoped.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she told him. “I’m just trying to go about my day.”

“We both know that’s a lie. We nearly made love the other night. You’re obviously overobsessing about it, though I don’t understand why.” He literally backed her into a corner.

“I’m not
overobsessing
, as you so delicately put it,” she snapped. “I’m just uninterested in this topic. I have things to do.”

“What plans do you have?”

She hadn’t expected him to call her on her statement. There wasn’t a heck of a lot to do in a place she was just a guest in.

“I don’t need to describe my day to you, Liam.”

“Maybe I’m interested in it, Whitney. Interested in you.”

“Have you ever thought that I simply don’t enjoy your company?”

He didn’t even blink at her rude remark. This man seemed impossible to put off. That was a first. Most men in her experience went running for the hills when they knew you had no desire to go to bed with them.

Of course it was only her words that told him that. Her body spoke an entirely different language. But if you added on the fact that neither of them trusted the other’s motives, the two of them made for a truly volatile combination.

“I think you’re not used to having a man be so assertive, so … cocky,” he said with a grin. “But you should get used to it. You’re attractive and so much more.”

“Oh, please,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Is that line supposed to impress me? Should I tremble inside because you find me suitable? And why don’t you please expand on ‘so much more’? Could you be more precise?”

He looked confused for a moment as if no woman had ever challenged him when he was paying a compliment, but quickly his arrogant smile popped back into place.

“Take a walk with me and I’ll tell you everything about you that I deem irresistible.”

“Well, it shouldn’t be too long a list, since you don’t know me,” she told him.

Unbelievably, though, she found her arm in his as the two of them began walking down the hallway and toward a back door. They only paused long enough to collect heavy jackets, and then they were moving along the snow-covered path around the mansion.

“I did my research on you before I showed up in Oregon on your doorstep,” he said.

“I’m not surprised by that. I’m sure you wanted to find out if your brother’s orphaned children were being taken care of properly. Plus, you would have had to do some kind of research to figure out where I lived.” What worried her was that they might have found her lacking in parental abilities. She needed to address this issue with Liam and Frederick, but she was afraid to do it, afraid of what they might have to say. “And of course,” she added, “you were driven by the shock of learning of Vincent’s death.”

“Yes, it was quite a shock. I don’t know why I let so much time pass after my brother left. We had been so close when we were younger, but our lives got busy with school and then work. We weren’t the healthiest emotionally when he walked away from here, and I felt that he’d betrayed not only our family but
me
personally. Now, though, it all seems so petty — so ridiculous.”

“I am sorry about your loss, and I know it must be hard. My sister and I talked nearly every day, at least on the phone, and if we didn’t see each other at least twice a week, it was only because some sort of disaster had occurred to keep us apart. She was more than a sibling — she was almost a second mother, and later my best friend. There are days I can’t even breathe, I miss her so much. Raising the children in her home is rough because of all the memories the place holds, but I didn’t want them to go through too many changes. But each day I’m there, I feel as if she should walk through the front door with a huge smile on her face and some bag in her hand filled with groceries or something for the kids. She and her husband were both incredible parents.”

Whitney’s eyes filled with tears as she thought about her lost sister. Even after a year, the ache hadn’t gone away, and she hadn’t expected it to. Sometimes it was less of a burden, but it was always there.

“I think what pains me the most about my brother’s death,” Liam said,” is that we had become so disconnected. I often thought about him through the years, but my stubbornness and anger over what had happened prevented me from looking for him. Since learning he’s gone … that we won’t have a chance to make it better, I’ve felt as if there’s a wound that just won’t heal.”

Oddly enough, she found herself sympathizing with this man. But who was she to comfort him? He had tons of people in his life to do that. She had no real connection with him, and in the future she’d have even less. They might see each other once in a while, but his interest was in the children, not in her — not really.

“He was happy, truly happy. You can take comfort in that.”

“It’s a little bittersweet. I’m glad he found happiness, but disheartened that he had to get away from us to do it.”

“I wouldn’t think about it that way, Liam. We all leave the nest at some point.”

This topic of conversation was obviously too much for him — he took a long breath and then plastered a false smile on his lips before replying.

“Enough of this sadness. I think I mentioned that I had you investigated,” he said. Was that a hint of shame in his tone? It wasn’t possible.

“And did I come out poorly?” Should she have even asked?

“You’ve had a rough life. Losing your parents a decade ago must have been difficult.”

“Wow, you really do your research,” she said with a sigh. She should be more offended, but this was how the wealthy operated. It did her no good to fight it.

“Yes, it was hard, but my sister was married to your brother at that time. Newlyweds, actually. They didn’t hesitate, though, to take me in with them. The day I moved in was, to use your word, a bittersweet day for my sister. We’d just lost our parents, and she’d found out she was pregnant with Brayden. I think that pregnancy was the only thing that kept my head above water. Just that prospect of new life in our family. I missed my parents so much, but because of your brother and my sister, I at least wasn’t alone. I’m hoping I can give Brayden and Ally the same feeling, but a lot of the time I feel like I’m failing so badly. My sister was perfect. Yes, she married very young, but she was perfect.”

“I think you’ve done the best job you could possibly do in your circumstances,” he told her.

She was so lost in memories of her sister, she continued speaking of the past, not picking up the subtle distinction of his words. The sentence would certainly come back to haunt her later that night.

“I lived with them until I went off to college. It’s probably the reason we were so close, and the reason I loved Vince so much. He was so good to my sister, and then me, and of course, to the children. We were a small family, but a very happy one.”

“Your strength of character is one of the things I find so attractive about you, Whitney.”

“Again, you barely know me. You can’t determine from a piece of paper whether I have a backbone,” she said with a laugh.

“I can determine it by what you’ve accomplished.”

She turned to look at his profile as she shook her head.

“Yes, I’ve accomplished so much,” she said with sarcasm. “I finished my bachelor’s in mathematics, but didn’t get to complete my master’s or the education courses that would allow me to teach high school classes. I’ve been working in crappy customer service jobs since I was sixteen. I rented a small studio apartment until my sister’s house was willed to me, and I can fit all of my possessions into one room. On top of that, I don’t know how to heal the children’s pain. There are days when failure is the
only
thing I know.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Why was she telling him all of this? Did she want to give him more reasons to take the children from her? Of course not. But sometimes it was so damned difficult to hold it all in, to stand strong.

Liam stopped and turned her toward him. He rubbed his hands up and down on the outside of her jacket as he looked into her eyes.

“We’re allowed to pity ourselves once in a while,” he told her. “As long as you don’t let it consume you. Focus on your strengths, and you’ll find that you’ve done a lot more than you realized.”

“I don’t understand you, Liam. I really don’t. What does any of this matter to you, anyway?”

“I like you. I told you that,” he said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “And I want to know that you’ll be okay.”

“Well, I’m not interested in getting into a relationship with you. It’s far too complicated, and I won’t be around long anyway.”

“Then we should definitely make the most of the time we do have together.”

This is when his earlier words hit her.

“What did you mean by saying that I’ve done the best job I could?”

“We’ve had a pleasant evening,” he told her. “I really wouldn’t want to ruin it.”

She narrowed her eyes and pulled back from him. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t want to know what you mean.”

Whitney tugged herself away from his grasp and whirled around, back in the direction they’d come from. She was surprised when he didn’t follow her when she walked away from him, but she was also relieved. She could completely see herself being worn down by his determination.

That was the last thing she needed in her life right now.

Her fears continued to grow the longer she remained in this man’s world. He was telling her she’d done the best she could do, but she also knew that what he wasn’t
quite
saying — that he could do so much better.

Was this seduction nothing more than a way to distract her? If it was, it was working, because she was focused so much on this man that she was losing sight of the bigger picture — the picture of where her niece and nephew would spend the rest of their childhood.

The biggest problem of all, however, was that she knew he was right. She knew there were so many more opportunities for the kids on this side of the country. Maybe the easiest solution of all would be for her to just move close by. Then they could all share the children and Liam could quit pretending he wanted her.

She had a lot to think about. That was the only thing she knew for sure right now.