Finding Faith (9 page)

“She’s an amazing little girl. I will never overstep, Cooper, but I will be here for Madison. For however long she needs me, I will always be a part of her life,” she answered him.
 

“I know you will and I appreciate that.” Placing his other hand over their already joined hands, he gave a little squeeze. She jumped slightly, as if just noticing that she already had his hand in hers. Moving slightly as if to release herself from his grasp and pull away, he stopped her movement by holding on a little tighter.
 

Leaning back, he waved at some of the passersby heading back to their respective homes for the evening. This was good. It felt right. It had been a good night for everyone. He felt as if things were moving in the right direction.
 

His little girl was happy. He was damn close to being happy. And his beautiful, lovely neighbor was sitting here, next to him. Their hands joined and the two of them simply relaxing. Quiet surrounded them as they sat nestled on his front porch as the night closed in around them. This was what he missed. This is what he needed.
 

“This is nice, Cooper.” Faith’s soft voice reached him as he considered the possibilities of where this could go.
 

“Yes, it is. I haven’t enjoyed a night like this in a long time.” Removing his hand from hers, he adjusted slightly. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he pulled her soft body into his, bringing her closer to him.
 

“I’m too heavy to be leaning on you, Cooper.” She tried to lift some of her weight off of him.
 

“No, you’re not. Stop that nonsense talk, woman. Just relax and lean on me. I’m more than strong enough to hold you and you know it. If you want me to prove it, just say the word, sweetheart,” he laughed in response.
 

Cooper knew she was talking about her weight and he wasn’t going to allow her to get away with that. On one or two occasions, he had heard her refer to her weight. Once or twice she had commented that she felt she was too big to do something, or wear some piece of clothing. After seeing her almost every day since they had moved in, he had enjoyed looking at every curve of her body and disagreed wholeheartedly. Faith was an exceedingly sexy woman and any man would be lucky to have her. Although if he had his way, there would be no other man vying for her attention. No one except for him, that is.
 

 

Later that week, Cooper was sitting next to Faith as the three of them relaxed at her house. A trip to the local park had been the original plan, but the weather had not cooperated. It turned out to be a rainy, dreary day, so they all decided it was best to order pizza and watch a
movie. Of course, as long as Madison was around Faith, he knew that she would be happy with whatever they decided to do.
 

Still reeling from the events of the last two weeks, Cooper was analyzing what was happening to him. His feelings for Faith had been growing rapidly for some time now. Thinking of her as more than just a friend had begun shortly after he met her. Hearing her laugh, made him smile. Watching her walk toward him made him hard. Whatever it was, he knew it was real for him. It wasn’t that he was lonely and it wasn’t some rebound or passing phase. Not for him. There had been some women in the past two years that he had seen casually, but only recently had he actually considered the idea of dating just one woman.
 

He had begun dating a few months ago at the behest of some of his Army buddies who were still in the area. A few of his first dates had turned into a second date. Some resulted in a night cap, which usually turned into an overnight stay. Inevitably, that would end with him sliding out of the woman’s bedroom, and any need to see them again in the future leaving right along with him.
 

While he wouldn’t say he was proud of his behavior, he was honest. They knew what he offered and had no expectations of anything beyond that. At no time had he ever been careless and not worn protection, nor had he given them false promises. Just a mutual agreement that they would enjoy their time together. Luckily, none of them had turned stalkerish or had a hard time getting the message. Well, except for Dana. God, that was painful and he never wanted to go through that again.
 

Putting the memory aside, he looked over and saw that Madison had gotten up from the floor and was now sprawled on Faith’s chaise lounge. For such a small child, she sure had a strong sense of self-confidence. She was giggling at the movie playing on the television and Faith was watching her with a smile on her face.
 

He wondered what she thought of when she looked at them, the carefree and precocious daughter and the sometimes moody father who seemed locked in the past, holding on to the memory of a wife, of a life, that no longer existed.
 

If truth be told, he held more than just a passing affection for his lovely neighbor. Although he actively tried to temper how he showed this to Faith, or heaven forbid, his daughter. One whiff of something more between he and Faith and he was positive his daughter would shout it from the rooftop.
 

Long out of his teenage years, he knew it wouldn’t look good if he started behaving as if he were in high school with a crush on the prettiest girl in class. Then again, he was probably thinking about this much more than he needed to.
 

Cooper could admit, at least to himself, that these last few months had been really good. Not just for him, but for Madison. Sitting here with Faith always seemed comfortable. There was no pressure. No need to try and be something he wasn’t. With her, he could just be himself. That hadn’t happened for a long time and he missed this feeling. Although he would deny it until the cows came home, this felt right to him. Even if they had never been intimate, the feeling that this is where he belonged was clamoring away in his head.
 

As he looked over at her sitting just a few feet away from him, he took a minute to admire her. Wearing shorts since it was a warm day, most of her legs were visible to his gaze. Silently looking at her womanly form, he could admire the curve of her thigh and the smoothness of her shoulder as she typed on her laptop.
 

He did wonder why he hadn’t made a move on her before the other night. Tried to at least kiss those full lips of hers? Remembering the other night when they had returned from the kite festival in DC, and the moans of pleasure she made as he massaged her feet, he couldn’t help but think he had missed what was right in front of him this entire time. Maybe it was her closeness to Madison that had stopped him before.
 

If he did try to gauge her interest in him sexually, or if they slept together and things didn’t work out, how would that impact Madison? No, he couldn’t risk it right now. She was a fixture in his daughter’s life and his baser nature, no matter how much it called out to him, was not going to ruin it.
 

Faith gave both him and Madison something...someone...that they looked forward to seeing every day. Early on, just after they had moved in, Faith had taken to calling Madison by her special name, princess, which Madison had noticed right away. Since then, the two of them had built their own relationship together, exclusive of Cooper. The connection between those two was so strong, and after spending so much time at each other’s house, he could almost feel their bond getting stronger.
 

There had even been a pampering weekend, or ten, when Faith and Madison had gone to the local spa for what she called mani/pedi treatments, her words—not his. His ears had almost bled from listening to his daughter talk about the fun they had, how the staff treated her like a princess, and how amazing Ms. Faith was. Slowly, but surely, there were other slight changes that now looking back, he had taken for granted.
 

When at her house on any given night, he would see his favorite beer sitting in her fridge. Just waiting for him. She never drank the stuff, so he knew it wasn’t for her. Two extra plates always seemed to be ready and filled to the brim each night they came over, as if she knew they would be there. Faith had even picked up his moods. Ever so smoothly, they had built a friendship and connection that was comfortable, and they simply seemed to fit.
 

However, just last night, the closeness the three of them shared had caused a mini-meltdown for Madison. As he was putting his little girl down for the night, he mentioned their trip to Rehoboth Beach with his mother and some other family members. It had been a family tradition for everyone to meet in Delaware to reunite and have some fun before winter hit. Realizing now that he should have considered the ramifications of thinking like a man, it had failed to dawn on him that Faith wouldn’t be there. After all, he had forgotten to even mention it to her, so why would she? Once he realized this, it seemed Madison wasn’t far behind.
 

When Madison finally understood Faith was not going to be coming with them, she was not happy. Not one little bit. Sitting here looking over at the woman who had created such high loyalty in his little girl, he knew he had to talk with her about it tonight. Cringing a little as he thought back on last night’s conversation with Madison, he almost wished Faith would come
with them. His own procrastination had caused this and he knew it. The conversation with his daughter replayed in his mind.
 

“Why can’t Ms. Faith come with us to Grandma’s house?” Mouth turned down and eyes filling with tears, his little girl was not very pleased with him at the moment.
 

“Because Faith has her own family and friends. I’m sure they want her to spend the holiday with them,” he responded as calmly as he could. Getting Madison to understand that Faith didn’t belong to only them was becoming harder each day.
 

Then again, he had his own issues with that lately. Not thinking straight, he had made his own assumptions and hadn’t even considered that he needed to ask Faith. Looking back, he knew he had fucked this up royally.
 

Lately though, it seemed that Faith was just always there. Which is what he enjoyed most. When he wanted to see her, he did. When coming home from work at night, if he called and she wasn’t home, he texted. As soon as she responded, he made sure to ask when she would be home. While he always used the excuse that Madison was the one who wanted to see her before going to bed, he also knew that it was something he needed as well.
 

Seeing her, even just to spend five minutes talking with her each day, had become something he needed to do each night before he could relax and fall asleep. Recalling his daughter’s voice as she continued her pleas for Faith to join them for the long weekend, he had continued tucking her in under the covers.
 

“But she has to come with us. You have to ask her,” clearly not giving up her request, Madison continued to press the issue.
 

Cooper had to understand that with Madison being so young, she didn’t understand how complicated adult lives could be. So, he agreed, sort of, “Okay, I will ask her tomorrow. But if she says no, then that’s the final answer. Understand?” He would swear his little girl was smarter than her four years as she looked at him with suspicion.
 

“You promise to ask her,” she inquired.
 

“Promise. Now go to sleep,” he kissed her on the forehead and exited the room. Laughing to himself as he turned out the hallway lights and entered his own bedroom, he wondered if Faith really had any plans for the weekend. Would it be such a big deal if she came with them? They were only friends, right?
 

Now here he was the next evening, sitting near Faith as they relaxed after dinner. Still not having broached the subject, he was tempted to just leave it alone and not ask. He wasn’t usually this damn nervous, but lately, something had changed. His Special Forces buddies, and even the people he worked with now, would never believe this. They always described him as hard, unforgiving, candid, brutal, and even aggressive. They would laugh in his face if they knew he was fretting about a woman’s response to such an inane thing. But with this woman, none of that mattered. Over the years, he had become a cold, heartless killing machine. But with Faith, he seemed to lose all of that.
 

His cool points balance took a deduction each day that he was in her presence. Five points every time he called her before he went to bed. Another ten points whenever he became tongue-tied around her when she had on her black yoga pants and a t-shirt. Heaven forbid his friends ever find out that he spent an entire afternoon looking through paints and fabric patterns when she wanted to redecorate her upstairs guest room. It was downright odd! And if he wasn’t careful, he would continue to get deeper, which was something he couldn’t do.