Finding Eva (Highland Creek Series) (21 page)

“You got it, boss,” she muttered slightly before getting up and looking for her clothes after she heard the shower turn on. The only thing worse than not getting any was trying to find her clothes from last night, but you would think that she would be able to find them since all she did was strip and go to bed. After her hunt, she realized her outfit was not going to work, and borrowed one of his T-shirts and some sweats before going downstairs to wait for Aaron.

Eva didn’t have to wait long before he came in ready for work. As much as she loved seeing him a polo and jeans, he looked amazing in his button down and dress slacks. He took in her outfit and smirked, but she read the glint of possession in his eyes seeing her in his clothes. He kissed her quickly and they were off, his promise to bring her home before he headed to the office.

A hurried kiss and a promise for dinner was the only thing she got when he dropped her off, and she couldn’t help but think about how he was already starting to treat her like an old girlfriend. She shook her head, happy despite feeling like crap and wearing borrowed clothes, but the happiness was short lived when she walked into the house and saw the bags by the stairs. Those were Gwen’s bags, but she didn’t know why they were packed before she heard Gwen call out to her from the living room. Gwen was sitting, playing with her phone, when she looked up and greeted Eva.

“Hey.” Eva didn’t really know what she wanted her to say, but she knew what was coming. “I saw the bags.”

“Yeah.” Gwen shook her head in affirmation. “I waited until you got home, didn’t want you to think that I was just leaving.”

“Why are you going? You’ve haven’t even been here a full week, and I know that you haven’t made a decision yet. Or have you?” she asked, wondering about Gwen’s offhanded remarks and whether she was actually going back to the asshole.

“No, that hasn’t changed; it is just time to go home. Don’t get me wrong, this was great, but I can’t just pretend like my life isn’t a shit storm somewhere else. I talked to Nick last night, he has moved out into an apartment to give me time.”

“Why can’t you do that here?” Eva didn’t know why, but she didn’t want her friend, her lifeline, to leave.

Gwen gripped her shoulders, looking her in the eye. “It’s time. For me and for you. I know that you are getting along, but you have to face all the stuff about your mother. Read the letter. I know you haven’t since I have been here. I am going to go home and sort my shit out, and you need to do the same.”

Eva wanted to protest, but she knew that Gwen was right. She did need to go home and figure stuff out, and Eva needed to find out the truth about her mother. It was time, but damn Gwen for raining on her parade. She nodded meekly as she followed Gwen to the front and hugged her.

“Nice outfit by the way …” Gwen gestured to her borrowed clothes. “Make sure you give him a real shot.”

Eva gaped at her. “What does that mean?” She always gave every relationship a chance. Gwen raised her eyebrows, unfazed by her reaction.

“It means exactly as it sounded. Don’t find anything wrong with him.”

“Whatever. Give me a hug.” They hugged again, squeezing tightly because they knew that they were going to have to shoulder through their stuff alone, and she bid Gwen farewell as Gwen packed up her car to leave.

Eva stood there, thinking about Gwen’s strength and determination in her eyes, despite everything swirling around her. If Gwen could do it, so could Eva, but first she needed to shower and sleep off this hangover.

Eva showered, cleaned, ate breakfast, and slept. She piddled around in an effort to avoid the inevitable. She finally went to the office and stared at the offensive envelope, knowing that she couldn’t put it off any longer. She grabbed it and went into the living room to collapse on the couch. Thankful for small favors, she was glad that Conner didn’t work on Saturdays, so she was alone while she read the letter.
Here goes nothing
, she thought before ripping it open. It was over two pages long, front and back, and she didn’t know what to do but start at the beginning.

Dear Eva,

If you’re reading this then I know that I have died, and I am sorry that I didn’t get the chance to get to know you while I was alive. My fault, I know, and nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own insecurities and fears. Maybe if I was stronger, I wouldn’t have caused you pain, both while you were younger and now, but I have never been known for my strength. I know that you must take after your father in that regard, as he has shared many tales about all the amazing things that you have done and endured throughout your life. I am sorry to have missed all the things in your life, but I always watched from the sidelines, and your father was more than willing to give me information, more than I had any right to ask for.

You have to understand, I loved you more than anything in the world. The best thing in the world was when the doctor handed you to me after you were born. I always wanted a daughter and promised you that I would do the best by you despite everything. Life was great for a couple of years. Your father and I were doting parents, and we decided to expand our family. I got pregnant with your brother soon after your second birthday, and we couldn’t be happier. Don’t get me wrong, we had our problems, but I always knew that we would work through them for our family. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had decided to hang some Christmas decorations. Your father told me not to, partially because the pregnancy had been so difficult and I had been ordered to stay in bed. I didn’t listen, and I am sure you know what it is like when you know best and your stubbornness kicks in—another trait I heard you inherited from me. Well, I was on the ladder, and you were playing in the living room. I don’t know what happened, I guess my foot slipped and I fell. It was horrible, I could feel something shift, and I felt the blood between my legs. You started crying, I couldn’t speak, couldn’t comfort you, and I knew that my baby was dying.

My foolishness led to the death of my baby, and I couldn’t take it. Your father was so great, he didn’t blame me for the baby, and we really tried to put the pieces back together. He told me that we could start trying again for a baby when I was ready, but I just couldn’t do it. I started drinking heavily because I couldn’t get a handle on my life. I knew that I needed help and your father even pointed out that you were still there to care for, but I couldn’t help myself. That, however, is not how the story ends.

One day I was drinking, like normal, and I was holding you trying to get you to go to sleep. I was walking up the steps, and you were wiggling like normal, but I couldn’t hold onto you and you fell. You screamed and cried, clutching your arm, and I knew then I was no good for you. I called your father who took you to the pediatrician. Thankfully nothing was broken, but your arm was badly bruised. Your father met me at the door after the appointment, telling me that I either needed to get help or get out. I spent three months in rehab and really thought about everything that I had become. I had killed one baby because of my foolishness and almost broke your arm because of my carelessness. How could I continue to raise you?

I called your father and told him I wasn’t going back. He protested, told me that we could work it out, but I knew that I just couldn’t do it anymore. What was I going to do if something else happened to you in my care? I could hardly face myself because of what happened to your brother. I didn’t want to have to deal if something else happened to you. I did what I thought was best, regardless of what other people thought. And when your father found your stepmother and you had latched onto her and called her ‘Mom,’ I knew I had made the right choice. I will always be your mother, but sometimes the hardest part of being a mother is knowing when to let go. I let you go thinking it was best, and maybe it wasn’t, but I couldn’t see beyond my own pain and all the stuff I had put you through during your young life. I am truly sorry and hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me. I know if you are anything like your father and mother (and yes, I consider your stepmother your mother) you will. I will always love you and tried to do right by you. I hope that this gives you some closure, if not peace. I love you.

Love,

Elizabeth

(Your first mother- who gave you to another to allow you to grow)

Eva finished reading the letter, tears streaming down her face the whole time. She couldn’t imagine the desperation that her mother must have felt to feel her life spiraling out of control. If anything, it gave her a greater appreciation of her mother. And yet she couldn’t help feeling anger at everything. At fate, at life, at her mother, at her father, you name it and she was probably mad. All she could think was to get to her parents and blindly dialed the number she knew by heart.

“Dad,” she cried when he picked up the phone, “I need to come home.” She finished the phone call, providing enough details that he wouldn’t worry too much, and left to go home.

A
aron tried to give Eva space, and let her have time with her family, but he was worried. When he got the text from her a couple of nights ago cancelling their plans, he immediately called to see if she was ok. The tearful conversation killed him, and knowing that he was unable to help her through her pain was more than he could bear. He had given her time, allowed her to try and work through it with her parents, but he was slowly going crazy. That was the main reason why he was at Bryan’s house tonight; he wanted to go bother someone else so he wouldn’t lose his mind at home.

“Want a beer?” Bryan greeted him when he opened the door, knowing that he was having a hard time with Eva gone.

“Yeah,” he said, following Bryan into the kitchen. He nodded at Conner, who sat at the table, as he popped the top and drank deeply. “Where’s my favorite niece?”

“You mean your only niece? Our sisters hijacked her, told me that she needed a girl’s day out. They’re taking her to get a pedicure and have her nails done.” Aaron was happy that Kelly had their sisters to dote on her, especially when her mother was such as bitch.

“When will Eva be back?” Bryan asked, leaning against the counter and crossing one foot over the other.

“Tomorrow. She texted me this afternoon and told me that she will be coming home after she does a couple things at her house and runs by to see her sister.”

“So what has she said?”

“Nothing really, and that’s what frustrates the hell out of me. She texted me the other night, cancelling our date, and said that she needed to go home to see her parents. I called her but she didn’t answer, and she said that she wasn’t in the right place to talk to me. Whatever the hell that means. I am just worried because this is not like her.”

“I’m not trying to cause problems, but you don’t really know her well enough to know that this is not like her,” Bryan pointed out, ever the pragmatist.

“Just because you haven’t spent a lot of time with her doesn’t mean that I haven’t. You don’t know her. She is loyal and caring to a fault. She would not just ignore a person; that’s part of the reason why the stuff with her mom hit her so hard. She would never do that to her own child, so she doesn’t understand why her mother did that to her. If she said that she can’t talk, it’s because she was too upset to talk. And she has been through too much the past couple of months to have to deal with more shit.”

Conner quickly jumped to her defense, not wanting Bryan to think anything bad about her. “Aaron’s right. I’ve gotten to know her from working with her every day. She is not one that is going to just take off and not say anything, which is probably why she texted him but doesn’t want to talk. She is pretty strong though. Give her time to process everything and come back in her own time.”

“I’m trying.” And he was, but it took every amount of self-control he had to not drive to her parents’ house and make sure she was ok.

“We get it,” Bryan told him. “You can’t help yourself. She is hurting and you want to help her. Sorry about what I said earlier. I guess I have just been burned too badly to be willing to trust unconditionally.”