Finders Keepers (26 page)

The song ended. Rowen took Jesse’s hands at the altar, vows
and rings were exchanged, a kiss was shared that went on far too long for my
liking . . . but I couldn’t pay attention to any of it. The only thing I could
focus on was Josie. I tried looking away from her, but it was impossible. Jesse
had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and I had
too. The only difference was that it had taken me much longer to admit that to
myself. Josie and I were like oil and vinegar at times, and her temper only served
to fuel mine, but we belonged together. There wasn’t any more doubt in my mind.
We belonged together. I’d accepted that. The trick was finding out if she still
believed that.

That was how I watched one of my best friends marry the
woman he loved—through the eyes of the woman I did. Once she stopped paying
attention to me, her glare disappeared. Josie went from smiling, to shedding a
few happy tears, to beaming, to crying, and then she repeated it as Jesse and
Rowen exchanged rings. When the preacher pronounced them husband and wife, she
smiled and clapped—everyone else was hooting and hollering like they were at a
honky-tonk and not a wedding—but there was something sad about her expression.
Her eyes couldn’t mask the sadness.

As Jesse and Rowen took the trip back down the aisle
together to yet another Cash song strummed on a guitar, the Walkers descended
on them before they made it far. There was so much hugging and kissing and
crying from all of those sisters that I squirmed where I was at the front. Once
they’d made it past the Walker bottleneck, Josie moved beside me. I sucked in a
breath and smiled, but she wouldn’t look at me. She clearly had something to
say because she just stood there, practically shoulder to shoulder with me,
looking expectant.

After a few more seconds, she sighed. “You’re supposed to
escort me down the aisle.”

“Oh.” Well, that explained the look. I held out my elbow for
her. “I didn’t know that.”

“You might have if you’d made it to the rehearsal last
night.” She wove her arm through my elbow, but she made sure that as little of
her arm touched mine as possible. I was back to being radioactive.

“Yeah, I guess so. I had a few things to figure out.” We
were able to speak in normal voices because everyone was still cheering and
clapping for the newly married couple who’d already made their way through the
Walkers’ front door.

“Well, I hope you got figured out what you needed figuring
out.” Josie’s voice wasn’t warm, and it wasn’t particularly cold either. It was
just . . . absent. Removed.

“I think I did.” I had to tap the shoulders of a few people
who were blocking our way.
It’s a wedding, people, not a rock concert. Get a
grip.

“Great for you.” Josie’s arm weaved out of mine as we
approached the porch steps. Instead of climbing them with me, she turned away
and headed toward the side of the house. “Bye, Black.”

I watched her until she disappeared, calculating my next
move. Chase her and tell her what I needed to say before everyone sat down for
the reception? Bide my time and catch her later after a few dances and a couple
glasses of wine? I decided to go after her then because there was no sense in
waiting. I’d waited too long already. I filed around the Walkers’ house—along
with everyone else who was making their way to the big white tent set up in
back. I lost sight of Josie in the crowd, but I kept moving forward. We’d wind
up in the same spot eventually.

Inside of the tent, everyone took their seats around white
tables set with white candles and flowers. I scanned everyone, not finding her.
Just when I was about to head back out to see if she’d taken a detour, Mrs.
Walker slipped up beside me.

“Your seat’s up here,” she said, putting her arm through
mine and guiding me to the other end of the tent. “Are you all ready for your
speech?”

My head whipped toward Mrs. Walker. “What speech?”

“The one the best man gives during the toast,” she replied,
waving at someone we passed.

“No one said anything about a speech. I’m just here for the
free food.”

Mrs. Walker nudged me gently. “And here I was thinking you
were here for a different reason.” Her gaze shifted to a person sitting at the
long table in front of us. Josie. Leave it to Mrs. Walker to save the
pretenses.

“Yeah . . . about that . . .” I rubbed the back of my neck
as I watched Josie. “I’m not sure that reason I’m here is super thrilled with
me actually being here.”

“Here’s a little secret I’ll give away about us women.” Mrs.
Walker leaned in, watching Josie with me. “Sometimes we act one way but feel
another.”

“Are you telling me that Josie behaving like I’m the
anti-Christ is all just an act?”

She smiled and patted my arm. “I’m saying why don’t you find
out if it’s an act? There’s nothing to lose in at least finding out.”

“Besides my pride,” I mumbled.

“Pride’s overrated,” she said, moving toward a table of
people waving at her. “Give humiliation a try.”

I didn’t care if I had to humiliate myself in front of every
last person on the planet, nor did I care how I had to do it—it would be worth
it to get Josie to hear me out. Since Josie was on one side of the bride and
groom’s seats, I assumed mine was on the other side. The newlyweds weren’t
there yet—knowing them, they were probably getting it on right then. For
Jesse’s sake, I hoped people weren’t right when they said the sex went downhill
after the
I dos
. Maybe I could work that into the speech. Shit—a speech.
I would have to thank both of the Sterling-Walkers for the heads-up on that
one. As I took my seat, I glanced at Josie. She was looking every direction but
mine. Was Mrs. Walker right? Could she be only acting like she hated me? I
wasn’t sure, but I would find out.

“Hey, Joze.” I angled my chair a little toward her and
waited. “Josie?” I knew she’d heard me because her face was going a little red.

I was ready to say her name again when her head snapped my
way. “You remember that little
Bye, Black
I issued back there?” Josie
pointed toward the Walkers’ house. I didn’t have a chance to nod or reply.
“That wasn’t a
Bye, I’ll see you in a minute.
That was a
Bye, I never
want to see you again
.”

Those words, and that look on her face, gutted me. Act or no
act, each of those words sliced through me. “Josie . . .” I had so much to say,
so much to explain and apologize for, but that was all I could get out.

Her eyes closed and shook her head. “I warned you. I told
you what would happen if you left me that night. That the . . . the . . . love
I had for you then”—her voice caught, but after a moment, she lifted her
shoulders and cleared her throat—“would change into something else. The
opposite. It has.”

I wanted to reach for the glass of water on the table in
front of me, but that seemed like too much work. Every scrap of energy had just
been sucked out of me. “You hate me? You don’t love me anymore?”

Her eyes met mine for a moment before she twisted away from
me. She was obviously done talking, but I wasn’t. I would say what I needed to
and apologize for fifteen years of not giving her my best every day of it.

When another round of clapping and cheering went through the
crowd, I didn’t need to look to know Jesse and Rowen had made their way to the
tent. I stood and clapped with everyone else as my mind worked to decide what
to do next. I hadn’t come to the wedding with any expectations about how Josie
would react to seeing me after my couple-month departure, but if I had, I
wouldn’t have expected her to really hate me. Maybe she’d been right, and her
love had nowhere else to go but into hate. That shattered me. But maybe Mrs.
Walker was right, and it was all just an act.

Jesse and Rowen hugged their way down the table. I extended
my hand to Jesse while Rowen and Josie hugged. Since I pretty much hadn’t taken
my eyes off of her all afternoon, I saw Josie whisper something into Rowen’s
ear. Rowen replied with a dismissive wave. I guessed Josie was asking Rowen if
she’d mind if she smashed her dinner into my face, and Rowen’s wave was a
Not
at all. Fire away
. That was okay. If Josie had to smash her filet into my
face in order to feel a bit better so I could say what I needed to, that was a
small price to pay.

“Congrats, best man. Your head is still attached to your
neck.” Jesse clapped the side of my arm and grinned.

“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be congratulating you?”
I asked, finally diverting my attention. I might be there for Josie, but I was also
there for Jesse and Rowen.

“No need to say it, pal. It’s written all over that tortured
face of yours.”

“Haha, funny man. Thank you, by the way, for letting me know
about the speech I’d be making and giving me some time to prepare,” I said
dryly.

“You bet. Good luck.” Jesse’s grin jumped up a few levels
when Rowen slid beside and pressed a kiss into his cheek.

“Holy shit. Rowen Sterling. Glowing. Married. I suppose
now’s the time to start packing our bags for the apocalypse.”

Jesse slugged my arm. Rowen got the other. “Holy shit. Garth
Black. Present. Accounted for. Sober. Quick, no time to pack your bags for the
apocalypse because it’s here.”

I laughed as I stepped in to hug her. “Congrats, Mrs.
Sterling-Walker. You take care of my little boy and make sure he eats his peas,
washes behind his ears, and that you tuck him in every night sated with a smile
on his face.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. Rowen lifted her eyebrows. “Planning
on it.”

“By the way, you look amazing,” I added. I didn’t know much
about wedding dresses, but I’d seen enough to know that hers wasn’t a typical
one. In true Jesse and Rowen fashion, she’d picked out the dress that suited
her, the one that worked for them, and said to hell with the rest of it.

“Nice of you to notice. Finally.” Rowen inclined her head
behind her—where Josie’s back was as much to us as it could get.

“Yeah . . . sorry about that.”

Rowen took her seat, and Jesse slid her chair forward.
“Sincerity is the most important part of an apology,” Rowen said. “You might
want to take note in case you’re planning on making any more tonight.”

“I’m planning on it”—I indicated at Josie’s back—“if someone
decides to actually acknowledge me.”

“From one stubborn person to another”—Rowen leaned across
Jesse’s lap toward me—“figure out a way so she
has
to hear you out.
Don’t let her get away from here tonight without hearing what you have to say.”
Rowen’s eyes stayed on mine, drilling what she’d just said into me. She leaned
back into her seat, but not before winding her arms around Jesse’s neck and
pulling him in for one long,
long
kiss. Most nauseatingly in love couple
alive.

Hey, maybe I could work that into the speech I had to give
in—from the look of the dude carrying the mic up to the table—any minute. I
wanted to ask Jesse if I could abdicate my speech-giving responsibilities, but
he was still wrapped up in the kiss that was going to set some kind of record.

My gaze drifted to Josie—and the person sliding into the
empty seat beside her. My fists formed at my sides automatically. “What the
hell is Colt Mason doing sitting next to Josie?” I didn’t care if I was
breaking up their make-out session; they had a whole honeymoon to make up for
it. After a few more seconds of lip locking, Jesse surfaced with a stupid grin
on his face. “Well?” I nudged him to break him out of his stupor.

“Colt’s Josie’s date,” Jesse replied matter-of-factly.

“And you didn’t think to tell me this earlier?” Not that it
threw a kink in my plans, but I would have liked a little more notice that Colt
and Josie were there together than him slipping into the seat next to her and
draping his arm around the back of her chair.

Jesse lifted a shoulder. “I’m telling you now. Besides, I’m
pretty sure the only reason she invited him was to piss you off. Looks like
it’s working.”

“Great, just fucking great,” I said, scrubbing my hands over
my face. Josie was with Colt, she’d all but admitted that she hated me, and the
dude with the mic had just switched it on and was bringing it my direction.
Could anything go worse?

When the guy handed me the mic, I accidentally tapped my
water glass with it, making the glass teeter a few times before shattering when
it hit the ground. Of course that made me mutter a curse which, since the mic
was on and close to my mouth, sounded around the entire tent. Perfect. The
first word of my speech was
that
one. Jesse and Rowen snickered, Josie
was back to glaring at me, and Jesse’s sisters gaped at me like I’d just set
myself on fire.

Now that I had everyone’s attention and the babies in the
room were crying . . . speech time. “No one’s ever accused me of being
articulate, and after that, you can all see why—if you didn’t know that
already.” Everyone except for the chuckling hyenas beside me stared at me with
shocked expressions. “That’s why I would have begged Jesse to let someone else
speak, but since I had a whole five minutes of notice”—I clapped my hand on his
shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze—“there wasn’t a lot of time for begging. Or
running away before the mic got in my hands. So even though articulate and me”—
shit, was it articulate and
I
? I should have paid more attention in
English class—“live on opposite sides of the state, tonight I’m going to give
it my best shot. Tonight I’m going to attempt to say exactly what I need to,
and I hope you all will give me a chance to do that.”

My eyes shifted to Josie, who still had her back to me, but
it had stiffened. “Jesse and I”—or was it Jesse and
me
? Damn it
anyways—“grew up as best friends. That someone like him would even want to
associate with me, let alone be friends with me, was something that took me a
long time to get used to. If you’ve lived around these parts for very long, you
know, I was a piece of—” I caught myself just in time thanks to Clementine
shaking her head and wagging her finger at me from the table right in front of
me. I thanked her with a wink. “I was a piece of . . .
something
. . .
and Jesse was the stand-up, amazing guy he still is today. Someone like me
didn’t deserve a friend like him. A person like me didn’t deserve his acceptance
and kindness and love.” Jesse and Rowen had stopped chuckling and were looking
at me with something of a bewildered look, probably because I was speaking from
the heart and not straight out of my ass.