Finders Keepers (46 page)

Read Finders Keepers Online

Authors: Fern Michaels

BOOK: Finders Keepers
5.4Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
Jessie stared at her husband as she tried to comprehend what he'd just told her. “I wish you hadn't told me that, Tanner. My mind is totally blank when it comes to that accident. It's just one more thing I have to deal with now.”
“I'm really sorry, Jessie. I did tell Pop, though. If you ever remember, I want you to tell me. I think about it all the time. Greed is . . . ugly.”
Jessie shook her head to clear her thoughts. Later she would think about what Tanner had just said. “In the end, Sophie knew about Jack Dawson. That is J.J.'s real name, isn't it?” Jessie asked in a harsh whisper.
Tanner nodded.
“Where's J.J. now?”
“Probably lurking in the bushes somewhere. He's one sick bastard, I can tell you that. I'm not much better, but I did come to my senses. I don't know J.J. anymore. I don't know what he's capable of. I've cut him loose. Go away from here, Jess. Go as far as you can. Lose yourself somewhere. You have the resources to do that.”
“What about you, Tanner?”
“I'll run the ranch. I'll probably end up marrying Bop. Maybe we'll have kids, maybe we won't. Everyone thinks she has money. She doesn't. Neither does her family. They keep up appearances, that's about it. We've always had a ‘thing' for each other.”
“What will happen after your father . . . goes?”
“That will be the end of it. No more headlines, no more lawyers, no more scandals. Of course they'll dredge it up every year on the anniversary date. I'll just have to live with it. I'm in no position to cast stones, Jess. Pop took care of everything at my mother's insistence. After Irene's death and the twins' cutting him off, he just gave up. The thing he found hardest to deal with was Irene's failure to sell the farm during her lifetime. If she had done that, Pop wouldn't be in the mess he's in. Resa seems to think it was Irene's way of getting one last jab at Pop for having the affair with my mother. I don't know what to think. The ranch is in Resa's and my names, with a provision that my mother live out her days there. Resa wants no part of it and is going to sign over her share to me. She's happy. She wants to start a family. She'll never come back here.”
“Mr. Mendenares gave me a check Sophie wrote to Jack Dawson for a million dollars. She said he earned every penny of it. I tore it up.”
“Good for you, Jess. Listen, I have to get back to the ranch. I've taken care of everything on my end with my attorney. There won't be any glitches along the way. What should we do here, shake hands, wave, kiss each other on the cheek? What?”
Jessie's smile was tired and wan. “What do you feel like doing?”
“Hugging you.”
Jessie opened her arms.
“You feel good, and you smell nice,” Tanner said.
Jessie laughed. “So do you. I am pregnant, Tanner.”
“I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.”
“At some point, I'll bring him or her back to see you. I don't know when that will be. I'll tell the child about you. It may take a long time, Tanner. If it's a girl, I'm going to call her Sophie.”
“Sophie's a nice name,” Tanner said with a catch in his voice.
“If it's a boy I don't know what I'll name him. Something strong-sounding.”
“Do you forgive me, Jess?”
“No. Someday I'm sure I will, but not right now.”
“I can handle that. What are you going to do with all that money you inherited from Sophie?”
“I have no clue. I'll think of something.”
“Take care of yourself, Jessie.”
“You too, Tanner.”
Jessie sat quietly for a long time after Tanner left, her eyes on the sleeping dogs. It was midmorning when she reached for their leashes. “I need some fresh air. How about a nice long walk and a run in the park. We'll get an ice-cream cone on the way home.”
It was cool with a hint of rain. Jessie shivered inside her windbreaker as she trotted along behind the dogs. In the park, she sat down on a bench to remove the dog's leashes. They ran then, coming back to check on her every few minutes. She smiled indulgently as she looked around. There were few people in the park today.
Too gloomy and overcast,
she thought.
Parents only like to go to the park when the sun is shining.
Two hours swept by before the dogs returned to the bench one last time for the liver treats Jessie carried in her pockets. They were docile and tired from all their running when she hooked the leashes to their collars. “Time to go home.”
Coming toward her was a mother with a stroller and a toddler holding on to the side of the stroller, a magnificent German shepherd next to the little boy. The dogs eyed one another as they came abreast on the narrow path. A rosey-cheeked baby slept soundly in the stroller. Farther down the path a young man was jogging toward the little family, a box of popcorn in his hands.
“Feed the ducks, Daddy, feed the ducks,” the toddler squealed.
“I'm sorry,” the young mother said. “We seem to be taking up the whole path.”
“That's okay,” Jessie smiled. “Fred isn't used to other dogs. He just wants to smell your dog who, by the way, is beautiful.”
“Thank you. You look like you have your hands full. Posy is gentle. She's wonderful with the children.”
“How old is the baby?” Jessie asked. “I'm pregnant,” she blurted.
“Congratulations,” the young mother said. “This is it for us. Two kids and a dog are about all I can handle.”
“What's your name, big guy?” Jessie asked the toddler.
“Harry. Scary Harry. Right, Dad?”
“He used to love to play peek-a-boo when he was little. It was a game,” the father grinned.
“What's your sister's name?” Jessie asked.
“Hers name is Hannah. Hannah Banana,” the toddler squealed.
Jessie stared at the little family, her eyes rolling back in her head. A moment later she was on the ground, the dogs barking shrilly in her ear. When she came to, Fred and Jelly were licking at her face. “What happened?” she mumbled.
“You failed asleep on the ground,” Harry said importantly.
“You fainted,” the young mother said. “I used to faint when I was pregnant with Harry. I never had that problem with Hannah, though. I wasn't taking my prenatal vitamins. Be sure to tell your doctor. Don't dwell on it either. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing. We're going to drive you home. No, no, it's fine. Besides, it's going to rain any minute now. A nice cup of hot tea or some hot soup will fix you right up. The color's back in your cheeks. How are your feeling?”
“A little wobbly,” Jessie said as she held on to the father's hand. The toddler was eating the popcorn from the ground. “Things have been rather stressful lately,” Jessie said as she eyed the sleeping baby. Something tugged at her memory but refused to surface. “I would appreciate the ride if you're sure it isn't too much trouble.”
“No trouble at all. What's one more person and two more dogs?” the father said, a worried look on his face.
“That's what I always say,” the young mother chirped. “We'll just manage. It's that simple.”
I
have to get home.
I
have to get home.
I
need to get home,
Jessie's mind shrieked as she climbed over the dogs, the stroller, and Scary Harry, who was squealing about sleeping on the ground without pajamas.
Jessie's nerves were stretched to the breaking point when she tried to punch in the numbers on the intricate lock and at the same time offer effusive thanks for the ride home. Did she have the couple's name and address? She vaguely remembered holding a business card in her hand at one point.
What in the name of God was wrong with her? Was she losing her mind? Was she on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Was it her pregnancy that caused her to faint or was it Tanner's visit?
None of the above. It was the baby. The baby in the stroller.
The dogs raced up the steps to the loft, their leashes clicking and clacking on the steps. Jessie ran after them to remove the leashes. She handed out rawhide chews before she inched her way to the corner of the kitchen where she slid to the floor, cowering. Tears puddled in her eyes and ran down her cheeks as her heart pounded inside her chest.
She was still sitting in the corner, hours later, when Luke let himself into the garage. He called her name as he climbed the steps to the loft.
“Jessie? What's wrong? Are you all right? Look at me, Jessie. Tell me what happened.” He dropped to the floor to take her in his arms. “Tell me everything. Between the two of us we can make it right. You're safe. The dogs are here. Everything is fine.”
The words rushed out of her mouth like speeding bullets. “One minute I was standing up with the dogs, and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. The woman said I should be taking prenatal vitamins. I have them but haven't been taking them. I meant to, but I didn't. It wasn't Tanner. That's a closed chapter. I didn't hit my head or anything. I was looking at the baby. That was the last thing I remember until Scary Harry said I was sleeping on the ground without pajamas. They were such a nice family, Luke. They brought me home in this junky station wagon full of dog hairs, kids' junk, and groceries. They were so happy. I could tell they're having a hard time making ends meet. I have to do something for them. I will, too, as soon as I figure out what's wrong with me. It must have something to do with the baby. I was fine until I . . .”
“What's wrong? You were fine until what?”
“It must not have been the baby because I was looking at her the whole time we were talking. She was in a rickety stroller and facing me. It wasn't a baby carriage with the front closed up.”
“What were you talking about? Maybe someone said something that triggered something in your mind.”
“Small talk. They were going to feed the ducks. The toddler said his name was Scary Harry and his father explained that he liked to play peek-a-boo when he was a baby. Then he said . . . he said his sister's name was . . . was . . .”
“What was it, Jessie?”
“Hannah. Then he giggled and said, ‘Hannah Banana.' I guess that's when I fainted.”
Luke laughed. “You have to admit, it is kind of funny. Scary Harry and Hannah Banana. They sound like a wonderful family. Did you ever know anyone named Hannah?”
“No, but my heart is racing. It's hard for me to breathe, Luke.”
“It's okay, Jessie. There's nothing wrong. Relax, take deep breaths. Nothing is going to hurt you. I'm here. The dogs are here. Everything is fine. Come on now, deep breaths. One, two. That's it. Relax.”
Jessie's voice rose until it turned into a wild shriek. “I can't breathe. I can't breathe. No! No!”
“You
can
breathe, Jessie. Take a deep breath. Nothing's going to hurt you. I'm here. Everything is fine,
Hannah,
” he crooned, his tight grip on her arms relaxing. “It's all right,
Hannah
. ”
Dumfounded, Luke watched as Jessie calmed immediately at the sound of the name Hannah. He brought her close to his chest, stroking her head as he whispered words he couldn't remember later.
 
“I have an idea. Why don't I make us a nice omelet. You clear the table. What is all this stuff, Jessie?”
She told him.
“Do you believe him?”
“Yes. That part of my life is over. The divorce will go through without any problems. I'll call Arthur this evening and tell him everything. You called me Hannah a few minutes ago? Why?”
“I don't know why, Jessie. You calmed down immediately. Somewhere in the back of your mind the name is important. What is
this
stuff, Jessie?”
“I guess you could say it's my life. Sophie was big on doing investigative checks on everyone in her life. My life, too, as it turns out. There's a report here on my parents that I don't understand. By the way, Luke, I have a confession to make. I called my parents and asked them to come here. I invited them to your ranch. There's something in the report I don't understand. You read it, and I'll make the omelet.”
“Are you sure you want me to read this, Jessie? I don't know if I have the right to read something so personal about people I don't even know. It's such an invasion of privacy.”
“I want you to read it, Luke.”
“Then I'll read it.”
“Hannah is a pretty name, isn't it?”
“Yes, it is.”
21
Thea Roland swallowed the handful of pills her husband handed her. She looked so pitiful, Barnes looked away. There were days when he thought he loved his wife and days when he knew he hated her. Today was one of the days when he hated her.
“How can you sit there like that, Barnes? Aren't you even the least bit excited to be going to the States to meet Jessie's beau? She called us, Barnes. After all this time she must have finally realized how much we love her. She wants us at her wedding. Her beau wants to meet us. It's just so wonderful. I prayed for this. Day and night, Barnes, I prayed for her to do this. In just a few days it will be Christmas. That makes it all the more wonderful. Why am I talking to myself, Barnes? If you're worried about me, don't be. I did everything you said, I quit drinking and smoking. I take all my pills. I've been eating three meals a day and I take a half-mile-long walk and a nap. I'm fine. I'm up to the trip. I don't need a nurse, and I don't want a nurse. Get rid of her. I don't want my daughter thinking I'm an invalid. I feel vibrant. I feel alive. I feel loved. If you don't say something, Barnes, I'm going to throw this book at you.”
“It's the beginning of the end, Thea. I don't for one minute believe the story Jessie told us. I think she has finally remembered, and it's all going to come crashing down around us once we return. It seems like I've been warning you about this forever, and now it's finally coming to pass. You need to open your mind, Thea. What will you do if we get there and Jessie knows? What will you say? How will you defend what we did?”
“That isn't going to happen. Our daughter would never . . . I want you to stop thinking like that. Jessie loves us. She was too little to remember. You're worrying needlessly. She wants us there, so you can give her away at her wedding. The father of the bride. It sounds so wonderful. Almost as wonderful as mother of the bride. Do you think I'll be able to dance with the groom at the reception? Maybe once around the floor. Did anyone ever go in the pool, Barnes?”
“No, and no one has ever played tennis on the court either. Thea . . . do you . . . do you ever feel any remorse for what you did? How can you tune it out like this? Every day of my life I think about it. I have never been as fearful in my life as I am right now. Can't you see what is happening?”
“No. I don't think about it. How can our daughter's invitation make you fearful? It's the sun, Barnes, it makes you overreact. It was a long time ago. Jessie is mine. Finders keepers, Barnes. Anyone who leaves a child alone deserves whatever happens. It's a good thing I was the one who
found
her. Look at the wonderful life we gave her. Jessie is my daughter. That's the end of it, Barnes.”
“What if I'm right, Thea? What if Jessie remembers, and this is all a trick to get us back in the United States so we'll be arrested? Thea, you have to listen to me. I know she's remembering. I know it as sure as I'm sitting here.”
“No one will take her seriously. We'll say she was always a troubled child, and we did everything we could for her during her early years, hoping she would outgrow what she perceived as her troubles. A child of two cannot possibly have a clear memory of
anything.
We have all her papers, her adoption records. I told you, I don't want to discuss this any longer. You
paid
for her, Barnes.”
Barnes's shoulders started to shake. “For God's sake, will you listen to me. Everything was forged. It was never real. You have to face the truth. Thea, do you have any idea at all of what I've gone through all these years? Do you have even a clue about what it was like for me?”
“You're just nervous. It happens to all of us as we get older. We paid for her, Barnes. That's the end of it.”
“I kept a scrapbook, Thea. I have every single article that was ever written about the kidnapping.”
“Stop using that word. We adopted Jessie. You should never have done that.”
“We kidnapped her. We did not adopt her. I had to do it. It was my way of punishing myself every day of my life. Every damn day since that hateful day, I've gone to the library to look for articles. I copied them. Then I'd go home, paste them in the book and get sick. Every goddamn miserable day, Thea.”
“I didn't tell you to do that. Stop it right now, Barnes. No one knows but us. We paid tens of thousands of dollars for her.”
“I'd be willing to bet my last dollar Jessie's parents never spent a penny of that money. If you think for one minute Janice Ashwood didn't know, then you are a fool. She put two and two together early on. She didn't buy into that adoption business like you thought she did. Why else do you think she cut her ties with you?”
“As young girls, Janice and I were dear friends. When each of us married and went our separate ways, the friendship deteriorated. She was a loose woman, Barnes. I couldn't tolerate something like that. I felt sorry for Sophie. Now they're both dead. What kind of mother leaves her child in the care of a nanny and a housekeeper? Not someone I want to call a friend. None of our other friends kept up the friendship with her either. You know as well as I do that if she was home three days out of the year, it was a lot. She had no morals, Barnes. If she knew, as you seem to think, she would have told Sophie, and Sophie would have told Jessie. You're worrying needlessly.”
“I'm telling you, she knew,” Barnes insisted.
“She's dead, so it doesn't make any difference. When we left to go to California I dropped her a note. Then I wrote again later and told her about the adoption. If all our other friends believed it, why wouldn't Janice? I was ill then, and they all accepted the fact that you were taking me away for a change of scenery. You're just a worrywart. I'm getting sick of this conversation, Barnes. How many times do I have to say it?”
“Forever. I have never been able to reconcile what we did. There is nothing worse in this world than guilt. I think I would have killed myself a long time ago if it wasn't for the knowledge you couldn't survive without me. Do you know how many times I dialed Jessie's parents' phone number? I never told you about that, did I? I'd call, listen to the hope in their voice, then hang up. I cried, Thea. I cried for them. I always did it from a phone booth so the calls could never be traced back to us. We robbed them, Thea. We stole their child and claimed her as our own.”
“I
found
her, Barnes.”
“Goddamnit, Thea, you did not find her. You stole her, and I aided and abetted you. You need to look this full in the face before we return to the States. You need to be prepared.”
“I am prepared to meet my daughter and to spend Christmas with her. Do we have all the presents? Do you think Luke will like the Rolex watch we bought for him? I know my sweet love is going to love the diamond pendant with matching earrings. I think we should buy them a summer home on St. Simons. What do you think, Barnes? A large house with a connecting suite so we can visit as often as we want.”
“Look around you, Thea,” Barnes said wearily. “Carry the memory of all the bright flowers, the golden sunshine, and the sparkling blue water with you. When they cart us off to jail, everything will be gray and institution green. There won't be any flowers or sunshine. We'll have to wear prison garb and eat greasy, starchy food. There will be no hairdressers or manicurists. We'll be living in a cell with bars and locks with a toilet and a sink. You'll have to work for six cents an hour. I'll be making license plates and you'll be washing other people's dirty underwear. The inmates do awful things to you in prison. You need to listen to me, Thea. We will not be together. We will be separated. We won't even be near one another. If you have one of your spells, I won't be able to help you.”
Thea jerked upright in the chair she was sitting on as she listened to her husband's desperate-sounding voice. For the first time in her life she felt fear. “Why . . . why are you saying these things? Did Jessie say something? Is it just a feeling? Did you call
those people
again? Does Christmas have something to do with it?”
“It's what Jessie didn't say, Thea. To my ears she sounded like she was lying. It came so out of the blue. The last time she called she said she was going to seek help for the dreams. She has a dog. I heard it barking in the background. That alone might trigger her memory. Now, do you understand?”
“A dog! Jessie has a dog! What kind of dog, Barnes?”
“Probably the same kind of dog that was with her that day. I told you, Thea, she's starting to remember.” The naked fear Barnes saw in his wife's face tore at his heart. “Listen to me, Thea. I have an idea. I know you aren't going to like it, but hear me out. Please. Since the doctor said you were well enough to travel, I suggest we go to Argentina. I still have all the papers to make that possible since we were going to do it once before. We can get lost there. No one will ever find us. But, before we go, we have to call the Larsons and tell them where their daughter is. Or, we call Jessie and tell her the truth. We can do so much good, Thea. Maybe in some small way we can make up for what we did. We have a lot of money. We can volunteer our time in orphanages. We're too old to be parents, but we can be grandparents to a lot of parentless children. Children no one wants. You can buy them things, Thea. You can play with them and love them. Those places are drab and colorless. We can bring sunshine into their lives. Somehow, some way, we need to atone for what we did. Please, Thea. I need some peace in my life and so do you. If you don't agree for our sake, do it for Jessie. She deserves to know her real parents.”
“We'll never see her again, Barnes,” Thea said tearfully.
“A just punishment we both deserve. If we go to prison, we'd never see her anyway. I don't see that we have a choice, Thea, truly I don't.”
Thea continued to cry. “What about the presents, Barnes? It's almost Christmas.”
“When Jessie left us, she didn't take anything we'd given her. She won't want them, Thea. If we leave today, we can make a wonderful Christmas for many, many children. We can make it Christmas every day of the year if that's what you want. I need to try and cleanse my soul, Thea. So do you.”
“Can we at least call to say good-bye.”
“No, Thea. Let's decide now how we're going to do this. My suggestion would be to ship all the scrapbooks to Jessie. Phone calls can be traced too easily. I can take them to the airport and have them put on the flight we were going to take. If we leave this afternoon, we'll be in Argentina by the time Jessie gets her packages. Close your eyes, Thea, and imagine the look of wonderment on her face and her parents' faces when they finally meet. Think of it as Jessie's Christmas miracle. Well, Thea?”
“We'll never know about her baby, will we? Will God forgive me, Barnes?”
“No, Thea, we'll never see Jessie's child. I don't know if God will forgive either one of us. I pray that He will.”
“When Jessie finds out, she's going to hate us.”
“She already hates us, Thea. The poor child just doesn't know why. We have to live with it, Thea.”
“All right, Barnes. Will you pray for me, too. I don't think God will listen to me.”
Barnes felt his voice crack. “God listens to all his children, Thea. You have to be sure, my dear. Once we decide, there's no turning back.”
“I know, Barnes. My heart feels . . . so empty. I don't know if I can love a strange child. I wanted to love Sophie, but I couldn't. I blamed her for everything.”
“It was a mistake, Thea. You weren't thinking clearly. Sophie's gone now. God is taking care of her. I think we should travel light. We can buy whatever we need when we get to Buenos Aires. I'm going to package up the scrapbooks and take them to the airport. I'll cancel our flights to the States and arrange our new flights while I'm there. I'll have to stop at the bank and make some new arrangements. I shouldn't be more than a few hours.”
“Is this truly the only way, Barnes?”
“It is the
only
way.”
“I'll be ready to leave when you return.”
“Thea?”
“Yes.”
“I feel . . . I feel peaceful all of a sudden. Do you?”
“No, Barnes. Perhaps I don't deserve peace. Time will tell. Go now, take care of your Christmas miracle. I'll be fine. I'm just going to sit here in the sun and count the petals on the flowers. It will help to pass the time.”
“I won't be long.”
“Take your time. Even I know miracles don't happen in seconds.”
Thea leaned back in the comfortable chair she always sat in. She rang a tiny silver bell before she unclasped the locket she was never without. “Bring me some cigarettes and a double shot of Jack Daniel's. Fetch a clean ashtray, too, Dolores.”
Thea sat for a long time in the warm sunshine. She didn't touch the drink with the melting ice cubes or the fresh package of cigarettes. She only had eyes for the miniature picture of Jessie in the gold locket. “Finders keepers, my sweet love. Finders keepers.” When the pain came she didn't bother to clutch her chest. She knew the end of her life was upon her. She kissed the small picture one more time before she drew her last breath.

Other books

The Shadow Companion by Laura Anne Gilman
Therapy by Kathryn Perez
Faith by Michelle Larks
Golden's Rule by Billi Jean
Mystical Paths by Susan Howatch
Haterz by James Goss