Find Me in Manhattan (Finding #3) (24 page)

Sarah

“You have to have a bath, Raine. A girl can’t have flies swarming around her.”

Her hoof stomping was her only response.

“Would you miss me if I went back to school, Raine?” Another stomp. “I need to get back on my feet. I need to find a way back to myself.” Another stomp, stomp. “I know. I know, but I’m not getting anywhere by having Mama hover over me and Seth worrying about me. Daddy never even yelled at me. He promised me a talkin’ to, and do you think I have ever heard one word about keepin’ secrets from him?” Stomp. “Exactly. Nope.”

The sun was shining today. It had been two days since I had tried to call Michael. The phone call sparked something in me. Sure, it was only a tiny flame, but it was enough to get me thinking about finishing my doctorate. I hadn’t chosen my career path lightly. It was something I was truly interested in doing, something to which I was dedicated. I was passionate about helping veterans through their post-war experience. Even in this dark hole I had been living in, I still wanted to pursue that life. I wanted to help people.

“I researched other schools today,” I told Raine as I brushed her mane. “There’s a professor at Auburn who works in my field. I’ve actually met him a few times. Seems nice. Knows what he’s talking about and does similar research to Dr. Wright. It’s a possibility. I would be close to you.”

Raine shook her head and let out a huff.

“Raine, sometimes I think you don’t want me around.” Stomp. Stomp. “Yeah. Figures.”

“Sarah!” my brother’s voice called out from the other side of the barn.

“Yeah? Back here.”

He came through the barn and popped out on my side where I was finishing up with Raine. “Well, it’s the best we can do with what you have to offer, girl.” I patted her gently and threw the brush in the bucket.

“I don’t know why you spend so much time with that horse. She’s the most unfriendly one we’ve ever had.”

I patted Raine again reassuringly and told her not to listen to stupid boys then I turned back to my brother. “What are you doing here, Seth?”

“Came to see you, actually.”

“You mean check on me? Who called you, Mama or Daddy?”

“Actually it was someone else.”

“Aunt Linda? Jesus, that woman will not let my hair go. Who cares what it looks like? I’m considering of cutting it all off. You think that will push her over the edge?”

“No. It wasn’t Aunt Linda, although you might consider taking a shower today.”

“Why?” I asked then looked down at my outfit. I was wearing yoga pants, my monogrammed cowboy boots, and a white tank top that was nearly see through. I had on a hot pink sports bra, so at least the girls were hidden.

“You’re right, little sister. You look stunning.” I flipped him off making him laugh. He stopped laughing when I threw the wet sponge from Raine’s bath at him. “Nice to see you got some spunk back.”

“Whatever. Why are you here again?”

“We have a guest coming. You need to make yourself less of a train wreck.”

“Why?” If he would just tell me what was going on, I wouldn’t have to repeat myself like a toddler.

“Just this once, will you trust me?” He started walking away. “By the way, you smell worse than the horses.”

I discreetly tried to sniff myself. It wasn’t roses and jasmine, but I didn’t stink that bad. It was probably still time I had a good scrub. I locked Raine in her stall, cleaned up everything from her bath, and went about finding if the old, prettier Sarah was still in there somewhere.

Michael

Surprisingly, I spent hours at my parents’ house. I had talked with my mom for a long time before my dad came home. If I had been surprised by my mother’s reaction, it was nothing compared to my dad’s. He walked in from the garage to find my mother and me sitting at the kitchen table, the sight of so many six o’clock dinners. My father froze for a moment then choked out my name.

“Yeah, Dad. It’s me.”

The man covered his eyes with one hand and started to sob. I couldn’t believe it. I literally could not believe my eyes. I looked at my mom, who was now also crying again. She offered me a sympathetic smile and a small nod that told me to go comfort my father. I stood from my chair and moved toward him. The second I was in his reach, his arms came around me and held me to him. My father, the man who told me to give up on my ridiculous dream of being a hero, was crying on my shoulder. I will never forget that feeling as long as I live.

My mother served us coffee while we caught up with each other for a little while, and like clockwork, she had dinner on the table at six o’clock. The last surprise came a few minutes later. My sister walked in the door shouting, “Sorry, we’re late. I got here as fast as I could.” My mother had called her while I had been speaking with my father. I hadn’t been prepared to see her, but the second I saw the smile on her face and tears glistening in her eyes, all I felt was relief.

A brown-haired guy with glasses followed a young boy into the kitchen. The boy was shouting for his grandma and grandpa while the man tried to convince him to stop running in the house. My parents genuinely smiled at the boy as they each gave him big hugs. I didn’t remember hugging my parents like that when I was younger, but it was nice to see they had it in them. The boy turned to me and hid on my dad’s shoulder. My dad grinned and said, “Mikey, this is your uncle, the one you were named after.”

I had no words. I looked at my sister, and she nodded her confirmation. “Jared and I wanted him to grow up to be someone strong, someone we could believe in.” The regret I had been feeling about not coming back sooner tripled. Ignoring everything Amy tried to tell me over the years about my family had led to this moment. While I was overseas, my sister had gotten married and had a son, who she named after me.

Fortunately, Mikey broke the tense moment in the way only a kid could. “Do you carry a gun? Mom won’t let me, but I have a marshmallow shooter. She lets me bring it with me. Wanna play war?”

“No, Mikey. You have to eat before you can play,” my sister reminded him.

“Aw, Mom!” Mikey whined.

Did I want to play war?
The answer to that was a big, resounding no, but I didn’t want to let him down. “Sorry, buddy. It’s six o’clock, and around here, we eat dinner at six. If you’re gonna grow big and strong, you have to eat your grandma’s cooking.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The kid sat in his seat and ate everything on his plate. My sister mouthed a thank you while my mom kept her hands over her mouth trying not to cry every time she looked at me. My father smiled a real, genuine smile unlike I had ever seen while we all sat around the table as we had twenty years ago. They apologized for the things they had said. I apologized for not coming sooner. It was a different world than the one I left, but it one I had always longed for.

The best part of the night was when my father told me that he was proud of me. Those words brought tears to my eyes. “I wanted to tell you at the hospital that day,” he said. “You sent me away before I could tell you how sorry I was. I never wanted you hurt, Michael, but I am proud that my son was brave enough to fight for what he believes in. You’re a hero, son. You’re my hero.”

As I drove away, I questioned why I had taken so long to make things right. I wondered why they hadn’t contacted me. It seemed like nothing had ever happened, like today was the day I came home from Germany, but I wasn’t mistaken. They didn’t want me to join the Army. They berated my idea, said it was foolish, but now I wondered if it was their way of dealing. Dr. Reed reminded me that we all said things we didn’t mean and we always lived to regret them. Maybe those words were the ones my parents regretted, and maybe now was the time to forgive
and
forget.

I wished I could go straight back to the city to a waiting Sarah and tell her what happened, but I had a tough road ahead of me to have her back where I wanted her, back in Manhattan. I was willing to do whatever it took to bring her back, though.

Fifteen hours in the car was no easy feat for someone who hadn’t sat in a car in years, let alone driven one. I wasn’t foolish enough to think two months of therapy had erased all the fear and memories, but it was easier. My determination to find her and make things right far outweighed any residual panic I felt.

Sarah

By the time I finished drying my hair, I felt exhausted. I looked in the mirror and saw a different version of myself looking back at me. The bruises had faded. The cuts had healed, but darkness still shadowed my paler skin. Mama always told me that people loved me because I glowed. She thought that was my je ne sais quoi, the way I sparkled. Now I looked dull. My blond hair had less shine. My blue eyes appeared flat. My skin had no color, no pink in the cheeks, no pink on my lips. I was perfectly pale and uninspiring.

I had enough of the mirror. My jeans felt uncomfortably tight thanks to Mama’s cooking, so I traded them for leggings. I covered my larger than normal rear with a long tunic before slipping into my boots and heading back out to the barn. I didn’t make it far. I heard Seth’s voice over the radio. “A silver sports car just turned down our road. On my way back now.” Seth must have been out on the tractor preparing the east field for planting. It was that time of year, and Daddy was predicting a good yield. Seth was almost never home long enough to help Daddy, but when he was, he would be the first one out there on the new John Deer tractor.

“Silver sports car? Who’s coming over?” I asked Daddy. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Mama eating a sandwich, tuna by the smell of it.

“Not sure. Why don’t you go out on the porch and see?”

I looked at Mama with question written all over my face. She nodded and smiled encouragingly, which made me wonder what in the hell was going on.

I slowly made my way to the front door. I was a little afraid of what I might find and why my parents and Seth were acting so weird. I feared they were trying to set me up. If Bobby Rae was coming up the driveway in a rented sports car, I would lock myself in my room for the rest of my life. I was so not in the mood for getting back on the horse like Aunt Linda kept trying to convince me to do. As far as I was concerned, there were no other fish in the sea. They were all parasites, and the only thing a parasite was good for was sucking all the good stuff out of its host. Did anyone find it coincidental that mistletoe was actually a parasite? I think not. Even the kissing plant wanted to suck all the good out of a relationship. Oh God, I was losing my mind.

As if I was facing the electric chair, I solemnly opened the door right as the sports car pulled up. No one in our town had a car like this. I wouldn’t even know where you would get one. It looked old in the body style but new in every other sense. It shined in a way that only new cars could. It was nice, but the car wasn’t what my parents sent me out here to see.

My heart dropped when I saw the person stepping out of the car. He rested an arm on the top of the car then turned. We both froze when our eyes met over the top of the car. I didn’t know how it was physically possible for me to feel like there were stones in my stomach when I had never ingested any such object, but there was an undeniable sinking feeling that left me slightly nauseated.

At least now I understood why Amy never called me.

Michael

I didn’t expect her to be outside. I was planning on a minute to myself before I worked up the nerve to ring the doorbell. Driving here had been different. I drove down Grant Street only to turn left onto Grant Lane before I turned left onto their driveway, which might as well have been called Grant Way or maybe Grant Circle. There were fields on all sides of me as far as I could see from the car. Large trees lined the driveway (aka the long one-lane road that led up to their mansion), and a wooden fence that looked straight from a children’s book guided me to the circle in front of the house. When Sarah said “the farm,” this was not what I had pictured. This was a plantation of epic proportions.

I pulled around the circle looking up at the large house with the huge white columns and double front porches. At first, I missed the blonde beauty standing at the front door, but when I stepped out of my car to take it all in, she was the first thing I saw.

I wanted to run to her. I wanted her to run to me. In my mind, I could see her barreling down those front steps and into my arms. In reality, she stood there staring at me with a blank expression on her beautiful face. I wasn’t sure what to do.

I heard boots walking up behind me, but I didn’t move. “Hey, man,” Seth called out as he approached. “Glad you made it safely. How was the drive?”

Long. Too long. Longest drive of my life. Not long enough for me to figure out what to say.
“Good.” He held out his hand, so I shook it with a silent thank you for being friendly. I had feared I had made an enemy of Seth, which would make an apology to Sarah next to impossible, but he seemed genuinely happy to see me.

“Come on in. My parents are expecting you.”

I closed the door to my car and looked back to the place where Sarah was standing. She was gone. The porch was empty. I quickly glanced around and didn’t see her anywhere. I followed Seth into the house, but she was nowhere to be seen. Mr. Grant was reserved, but he stood and shook my hand without the shotgun sitting on the table like Sarah had predicted before. Mrs. Grant welcomed me with a hug and a smile letting me know that she was happy to formally meet me. She even apologized for not introducing herself at the hospital. I honestly didn’t think anything of it. They had just flown in after receiving a call saying their daughter had been beaten up. Who cared about introductions at the time?