Finally Home (Home Series) (40 page)

"What did Nick say to you?" he asked softly, breaking the silence.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not wanting to discuss something that would upset him.

"He
wants my help in rebuilding a relationship with you."

"Figured as much."

She waited a couple of beats, then slowly raised her head to look at him.

"What happened between you and Nick, before the Carolina incident?  Why did he go to Harvard and you went to Yale?"

He continued playing with her hair, but to her surprise, answered her.

"We just wanted different things, and I guess we were both feeling the strain of being a twin and wanted to try going our separate ways for a while."

"But...he's your twin.  Haven't you missed him?"

"Yeah."

She narrowed her eyes at him.  "But?"

He sighed.  "But...our relationship is awkward now."

"Yes...do you want him back in your life? Or are you happy with the way things are?"

"
I wouldn't go straight to happy," he said, making her giggle.

"No?" she asked, leaning down to rub her nose against his, in turn making him chuckle.

"No.  But, things with my family are complicated,
cara
, you know that."

She kissed him and then laid her head down on his chest. 

"I know that you aren't helping
un
-complicate things."

"One thing at a time,
cara mia
...I just now got things sort of settled with you.  I think that's my priority right now."

She smiled and kissed his chest.  "OK, one thing at a time," she echoed.

"Go to sleep, now.  You need to rest."

"As do you," she said.

"I am resting."

"Resting is not sleeping.  You need to sleep, Commander."

He tightened his hold on her.  "I'll try.  No promises."

She smiled and snuggled close to him, thinking she'd never been
happier in her life.

The dream came on him like a mist, slowly rolling, a bit disorienting, and terrifying as Hell.  He was back in that broken down, abandoned store, arms chained above his head, his back on fire from the lash of the whip.  He'd been reciting his name, rank and numbers over and over, the only words he spoke, but they kept him centered and focused. 
Abdul delighted in telling him what they planned for him, in vivid detail.  Mike knew the pain would become more intense and he hoped he had the strength to at least endure it with dignity.

"Who were you looking for?" Abdul demanded as the whip continued tearing flesh from his back.

Mike clenched his jaw against the lash and refused to speak, which only succeeded in making them angrier, which made the ones in front of him punch his face and his ribs; made Abdul lay the branding iron to his flesh again.  Mike hissed but refused to give them the satisfaction of him crying out, thought it was hard.  He was determined to not let them break him.  He was going to die today, he knew that, but he would keep his dignity no matter...

"Look at me, pig!  You bring your filth to our land
, defile our soil with your lack of faith," he spit in Mike's face then spoke in his language to someone beyond Mike's line of sight...and then he froze when he heard a feminine scream.

"We've got your whore
.  Maybe you'll talk now...shall we cut her?" Abdul asked, holding a knife to Lainey's cheek.  She was crying but silently, her huge emerald gaze locked on him. Mike fought his chains as the blade began pressing into her smooth skin, a thin trail of crimson shining just above it.  "Who were you here for?"

Lainey whimpered as the blade cut deeper.  Abdul was holding her neck and chin
in a vise-like hold.  Mike pulled as hard as he could against the chains, the whip cracking again against his back even as he fought.  Only then did Lainey cry out, reaching a hand out to him, begging them to stop hurting him.  Abdul glanced at someone behind Mike and began speaking and then another man came forward with the branding iron.  Mike felt sick; they'd marked her the last time, his subconscious told him.  He knew he was in a dream but he couldn't stop it.  Lainey was crying hard, nearly hyperventilating.  As before, Abdul ripped the clothes from her body.  Mike tried to lunge for him but the whip cracked across his gut at the same time a blow was delivered to the back of his head.  Lainey screamed and to his horror and shock, she launched herself at him just as the whip was coming down again, covering his body with her own, the whip tearing into her soft flesh, causing her to scream as she clung to his neck.

Mike jolted awak
e, his pulse racing and knocked Lainey aside as he sat up quickly.  He felt her hands on him, knew she was speaking but all he could hear was the echo of her scream.  His lungs felt as if they were on fire as he struggled to gulp air into them, his entire body trembling.  Logic told him it was just a dream and that he needed to get a grip, but he couldn't stop the feelings of helplessness and despair that washed over him.  He'd been unable to save her and she'd sacrificed herself to protect him. 
She'd
protected
him.
  He scrubbed his hand over his face trying to calm the shakes but he couldn't.

Next to him, Lainey was worried sick.  The nightmare still had its claws in him, this time worse than she'd ever seen.  He was almost hyperventilating and he was shaking so bad she was afraid for him.  She kept calling his name but it was like he couldn't even hear her.  Out of desperation, she
pulled his hands from his face and climbed up into his lap, straddling him, placing her hands on his face to force him to look at her.

"Look at me!" she commanded, mimicking the tone he usually used with her.  "It's OK," she soothed, stroking her hands gently over his face and hair, "it was only a dream.  You are safe here with me.  Do you see me, Commander?  You're safe.  Take a deep breath," she ordered, and miraculously, he did.  "Good.  Now another...very good.  It's over now.  You're here with me, safe in my arms.  No one is going to hurt you ever again, do you understand me?"

He held her gaze but shook his head slightly. 

"They weren't hurting me, really...but they hurt you."

She held his head in her hands, palms on his cheekbones, her gaze locked on his.

"I am fine," she assured him, leaning down to touch her lips to his.  When he didn't respond, she licked at his lips, tracing them with the tip of her tongue, her fingers digging into his scalp.  She felt him hardening and lifted
up on her knees to take him in, settling down on him as he finally accepted her kiss.  He was still shaken, the dream still holding some part of him away from her, so she did her best to drive him to absolute distraction, making it nearly impossible for him to continue to not respond to her. 

His arms wrapped tightly around her and he leaned down to bury his face in her neck as she rode him.  She felt him take several deep, steadying breaths, his hands beginning to stroke and massage her back, almost as if he were checking her skin for something.

"Mike," she said, placing her hands on his cheeks.  "Look at me."

He slowly raised his head and the look she saw in those icy, haunted eyes nearly broke her heart
.  She leaned forward to kiss him, desperate to erase that look from his eyes.  His hands slid from her back to cup her face in them as he deepened the kiss, then one slid into her hair, as he began to push her down to the bed, tucking her beneath him.  He made love to her with infinite care, taking her with tenderness.  Every touch was gentle, sweet; he handled her as if she were made of glass, building their climax slowly.  When she shattered, he held her close, tenderly kissing her through it, bringing fresh tears to her eyes.  How could a man such as he was make love so softly?

"You're the most important person in the world to me,
cara mia
," he whispered, holding her close, "I couldn't stand it if anything were to ever happen to you."

She looked up at him, smoothing her hand over his cheek.

"Was it the same dream again?  Where they brought me into it?" His hand clenched on her back where he'd been idly rubbing her. "Talk to me, Mike.  Let me help you."

He swallowed hard and licked his lips.  "It was the same, only this time, they were using a whip on my back and when they moved to use it on my front...you threw yourself on me and the whip cut into your back," he said, running his hand over her smooth back.

She placed her hand over his heart, feeling its strong beat beneath her palm.  "I would protect you if I could, Commander."

"That's my job," he said automatically.

"It's not weakness to need help, Mike."

"I don't..." he began but stopped and took a deep breath.  "I've had that dream ever since I came home.  Always the same.  Abdul taunting me.  The whip lashing against me. 
I know it's a dream and I can handle it...but this...drawing you in," he said, brushing her hair from her face.  "It's too much."

"You have given everything to take care of everyone else.  You were willing to lay your life down for Riley and the others.  You thought that
was
what you were doing.  It's time you let someone else take care of you."

"Easi
er said than done," he admitted, sliding out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked, holding the sheet to her breasts.

"Too edgy to sleep.  Need to -"

"Come back to bed and relax," she cut in.

He shook his head, reaching into a drawer for a pair of shorts.

"Now that the Founders Day Ball is over, I need to put
my effort into tracking Conroy."

She got up and went to him, seeing that he was close to losing it. When she reached for him he stiffened and tried to s
tep away but she didn't let him, stepping into his path.

"Lainey," he warned.

"Don't fight me, Commander, please.  You said earlier that what happened between us tonight would change everything, give you rights...well, it goes both ways, my friend.  Come back to bed."

"I need to -"

"NOW, Sailor." She saw his eyes narrow and that muscle in his jaw tick. "Do I really need to remind you that I'm standing here totally bare?  Wouldn't you rather have your hands on me than a keyboard?"

He actually smiled at that, and laughed just a little.  Lainey smiled and took his hand.  His head was shaking, but he gave up the fight and allowed her to lead him back to the bed.  When he got in, she snuggled up to him, trailing her lips over the underside of his jaw before
laying her hands on his cheeks to kiss him.  She didn't rush it; she took her time, savoring him, relaxing him.  She didn't want to ignite the flames, so to speak, but keep them at an ember.  His body was tense against her at first, but he slowly began to relax, his fingers burying themselves in her hair. 

He whispered something in Italian when he pulled back and placed a kiss to her brow.  She snuggled closer against him,
resting her hand over his heart, the fingers of her other hand gently massaging his neck near his hairline.  It wasn't long before she felt the tension leave his body and she was confident he'd fallen asleep again.  Only then did she allow herself to go back to sleep, but it wasn't a deep sleep; she woke any time he moved.  At one point, she was sure the nightmare was trying to claim him again, but she began stroking his hair and lightly humming and he relaxed again. She needed to get him to talk about all his fears and anxieties so that he could begin the healing process. 

Lainey knew before she opened her eyes that she was in bed alone.  She got up and went to the door, opening it just a crack.  Just as she suspected, she heard several male voices below; the guys were all here.  Sighing, she grabbed clothes to change into and went into the bathroom, then froze when she saw her reflection in the mirror.  Putting her clothes down, she looked at her wrists where Mike had held her down last night, seeing a few fingermark bruises.  With Riley amongst those downstairs, she realized she needed to find a long-sleeve shirt to wear.  Dressing quickly, she went back into the bedroom and went into Mike's closet to find a shirt.  She chose a long-sleeve black t-shirt and pulled it on, knotting it at her hip because it was so long.  She had to roll the sleeves up several times to get them so go over her hands but was satisfied with the end result.

Slipping on a pair of Toms shoes, she left the room and then froze on the landing, looking down into the main room.  The guys were gathered around the ring, watching Mike and Colt fighting, and
both
were shirtless.    She watched for a while from the landing, but when Mike succeeded in taking Colt down to his back on the mat, she went downstairs. 

Riley turned to look at her when she approached, and she knew, from the look on his face that he understood what the significance was of Mike being shirtless and knowing that she could come downstairs at any moment.  Mike didn't care because she'd already seen his scars.  She felt her cousin's gaze on her and offered him a bright smile.

"Good morning," she said, stopping to stand beside him, her eyes on Mike.

"Morning," Riley said, arms folded across his chest.  "Everything OK with you today?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" she asked and realized she was more than a little miffed that he and the others seemed to have been mad at her last night over the Kevin incident.

Riley nodded toward the ring.  "He was pretty pissed when y'all left last night."

She shrugged, wincing when Colt got a good jab in on Mike's ribs.

"He got over it."

Riley was quiet a moment, watching them wrestle.  Mike had Colt face down on the mat, both on their knees, Mike's arms around Colt's ribs, head turned away to dodge the blows Colt was landing to his head.  She could tell they were both pulling their punches, not trying to seriously hurt, just score points.

"I guess
you've seen his scars?" he asked, not so subtly.

She busted out laughing, distracting Mike and letting Colt get
free shot in on him, bloodying Mike's nose.

"You've done it now," Riley said quietly, chuckling.

Colt was apologizing to Mike as he they got to their feet.  She grabbed a towel and hopped up to the ring, going to him. He took the towel from her, holding it to his nose.