Finally His (10 page)

Nick now knew her body by heart, a fact he thoroughly
appreciated. For the first time in, well, ever, Lucy felt good about herself
and her ample curves. All it had taken was a man’s open appreciation, his lips
on her 24/7, to break her self-inflicted cage.

They’d had so much sex over the past month she felt
permanently sensitive from too much use.

Not that this was going to stop her, Lucy thought as she
slid her feet into tight black boots. Nick was hers now and she had
responsibilities. She couldn’t let him get bored. She knew how he was, knew how
he acted.

Which was why the fact he still hadn’t called her made her
hands itch. She knew he’d gone to the bar with Alex because she’d heard her
brother come home with another one of his co-eds. It’d taken awhile for the two
men to mend their friendship, but they were working on it and last night had been
a step in the right direction.

She’d waited in vain for Nick’s call, reassuring herself he
wouldn’t forget. He’d call her to say good night like he’d promised he would.

He hadn’t.

She’d been so scared that if she called him he’d think she
was pressuring him, she hadn’t. But now she was nervous. Anxious. Freaking mad
too. Who did he think he was? Chewing on her lower lip, she stood back up and
grabbed her leather jacket. Making sure she had her car and house keys, she
hurried out, intent on finding out what’d happened to him.

It didn’t take her long to understand nothing had happened.
Well, nothing that another beer or girlish giggle wouldn’t cure.

Lucy strode into the bar, her gaze immediately finding Nick.
He was lounging against a pool table, his blond hair shining like a halo as he
talked to a petite blonde wearing jeans that were so tight she’d probably lost
all circulation in her legs. Not that it seemed to matter to Nick.

“The bastard,” she muttered under her breath. He was
flirting with that skank!
No.
She shouldn’t blame the girl only because
she was her complete opposite, gorgeous and just so perfectly proportioned Lucy
couldn’t help but be jealous.

Interestingly she wasn’t as jealous as she’d expected she’d
be. Maybe because she knew Nick, knew what he was trying to do with this.
Maybe, also, because he’d given her the one thing she’d been yearning for.
Acceptance. He’d spent the whole month showing her how amazing her body was,
and she knew she’d never be able to go back. He’d made sure of that and she
loved him for it.

She saw people look at her, then hurriedly away. They’d just
started getting used to seeing Nick with her, and now he was pulling this.

She took a deep breath and let it out, squared her shoulders
and hooked her purse higher. She could do this.

Pasting a smile on her face, she walked straight to him.
“Hey, Nick.” Interrupting their conversation and not caring one iota, she
leaned against him and dropped a quick kiss on his lips. He looked taken aback
to see her there and didn’t say anything. Caught red-handed, ha! “What’s up?”
She smiled at the woman and said, her voice loud enough to be heard over the
din, “Hi, I’m Lucy. Nick’s girlfriend. Nice to meet you.”

His hand was on her hip all of a sudden, squeezing as if he
was telling her to shut up. Who the hell did he think he was? Hating herself
for being that woman after she’d promised herself she’d never stoop so low, she
added, “I’ve never seen you in here before. How do you two know each other?”
She waited as the other woman muttered something, then after a pointed glance
at Nick, walked away, leaving them alone.

“What the fuck was that?” he erupted, just as she’d expected
him to.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Her voice was low, her words
brisk.

“Fuck, I was just talking with her!”

She snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“I need another beer,” he snapped, but before he could
leave, she grabbed his forearm and forced him to a stop.

“This is not over, Nick.”

He chuckled, the sound ugly and grating on the ears. “Oh,
come on, Luce. Like you didn’t know how I was. Your brother told you all about
it, remember?”

“I trusted you.”

His eyes flashed and he didn’t say anything for a moment.
When he spoke again, his face was hard. “Used the past tense there, baby. I
guess that’s that, eh. No trusting dear old Nick anymore. Why don’t you run
back to your brother now?”

She felt the urge to slap his face, hurt him just like he’d
hurt her, but she knew that was what he was waiting for. Instead she did the
opposite. She leaned on her toes and kissed him, biting his lower lip roughly
and making him jerk.

When she drew back, he was staring at her as if he’d never
seen her before. “What the fuck was that?” he asked.

“That was me reminding you what we have. Grow up, Nick.
Sure, you can keep pushing and pushing until I let go. Because that’s what this
was, wasn’t it? You think I’m that naïve? That gullible? I love you, dumbass!
I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I’m
not going to let you go so easily. Just watch me!” And with that, she turned
around and left the bar.

* * * * *

“You were the one who wanted to date my sister. Your
problem, bro, not mine.”

Nick hung up the phone and blew out a breath. He’d been
studiously avoiding both Nelson siblings for the past week, knowing very well
it was the coward thing to do, but unable to stop himself.

Lucy’s speech still echoed inside him. She’d completely
taken him by surprise. He’d expected her to run away crying, not fight for him
as if he was the most important thing in the world. Why couldn’t she see he
wasn’t ready? He probably never would be.

He didn’t do relationships for a reason, after all. He’d
seen his parents shout so much over the years, he’d grown accustomed to it, the
slaps and kicks that followed paving his childhood until he’d been old enough
to leave their house. He’d known for a long time he’d never marry. He wasn’t
cut out for it; it wasn’t in his genes. So why was she still pushing? She’d
known him for years, but she hadn’t known at first why he’d spent so much time
with her brother, why he’d started eating with her family, unwilling to go back
home and face the music.

He turned around under the covers, the phone he’d forgotten
falling to the floor with a metallic noise. He didn’t bother picking it up,
just lay there and stared at the ceiling. It was Sunday morning and he had
nowhere to go. No one to see.

Lucy had always been the light in his life, the one person
who had always looked at him as if he couldn’t do anything wrong. She’d trusted
him from the first and now he’d broken that trust. Even worse, he’d hurt her
like Alex had warned him he would. What a stupid ass he’d been. He should never
have listened to her pleas. He should have remained firm and explained they
could never be together.

Hell, he could have lied and told her he didn’t think she
was attractive. Alex would have killed him, but that would have been all right.
He imagined her face and swore. No, he never could have done that to her. Not
his Lucy. He’d spent countless of hours back when she was a teenager fighting
the boys who’d made her cry. He and Alex had earned themselves quite a
reputation at their high school, but they hadn’t cared. Whoever dared hurt her
answered to them.

It was a wonder she’d never realized what was going on
behind her back. Even her so-called boyfriends when she’d been in college had
received some seriously unwelcoming pats. Who did they think they were, telling
her she was nothing less than amazing? Couldn’t they see how perfect she was?

Why did she have to be so damn perfect too? Couldn’t she see
he’d never be good enough for her? Fuck, she even had a degree when all he had
going for him was that he was good with his hands. He made a nice living now,
but how long would that last? One fall and his future would be shattered.

Dark thoughts spinning inside his head, Nick yearned for
only one thing, the one thing he couldn’t have. He wanted nothing more than to
feel her bare body beside his, like it had been only days before. Her hip under
his palm, her hair tickling his cheek, her mouth forming a smile against his
chest. Yes, he’d had it all and he’d royally screwed it up.

Even Alex refused to hang out with him until he talked to
his sister. Oh, he said it wasn’t his problem, but he was still taking sides.
Nick sighed and crossed his arms over his head. A familiar scent drifted over
from the pillow on his left. He hadn’t washed his sheets since she’d been here
last. He could still smell her in his bed, and it might be stupid, but he
didn’t care. He liked it and that was what counted.

Grow up, Nick!
Her voice rang in his head.

“Yup, I should,” he said out loud. “I really should.” But
could he really?

I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know what I’d do
without you in my life.
“I love you too,” he whispered to his empty room,
moving to his side as he closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

And he did. It took a long time, but he did…and ended up
dreaming of her.

* * * * *

“Leave us, please, Alex. I need to talk to her.”

Lucy looked up just in time to watch her brother leave the
room, Nick striding in as if he owned the damn place. “What do you want?”

“We need to talk.”

“Oh, really? It took you all of two weeks to guess that?”

Undeterred by her sharp voice, he sat down beside her and
asked, “What do you want from me?”

She gaped at him.
Was he kidding?
After all this, the
waiting, the crying, her turmoil over having done the wrong thing, he had the
gall to come here and ask her that? “Didn’t I make myself clear last time
around?”

“Indulge me, baby. You said you loved me, but I remember you
telling me all those weeks ago that you didn’t want a relationship.”

“I lied.”

He drew back a little. “About what?”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. “I want a
relationship. With you,” she added, in case he really was that clueless.

“You lied. Right.” He looked in the distance before focusing
once more on her face. “Why did you?”

“Because I knew you didn’t want to have a serious
relationship with anyone. Alex was right. You are a player first and foremost.”

“And yet, you wanted us to be together.”

She shook her head no. “No past tense about it, Nick.”

“What does that mean?”

This time, she did roll her eyes. “I want us to be together.
Present tense, see?”

“Don’t be like that, Luce.” He ignored her intake of breath
and kept on talking, “What do you want exactly?”

She sighed. “I want us to be a normal couple. Nothing more,
nothing less. I’d like us to have sex, sure, but also to do other things like…
I don’t know. Go to the movies, spend time together, play pool, hang out with
Alex and your friends. You know, couple stuff.”

“Couple stuff.” It was clear he had no idea what she meant
by that.

“Seriously, Nick, I know you don’t do relationships, but
you’ve had girlfriends before. What did you do with them?”

He seemed to think about it. “Had sex. Drank beer. Huh, more
sex. More beer?”

“That’s all?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

She shuddered when she realized that’s how he’d acted with
her over the past weeks. All they’d done really was have sex and hang out at
the bar. She’d been a groupie like all his other women before her.
Argh!
“You
know, that’s downright sad.”

He jerked back. “What? I’m not sad!”

“Yes, you are. You don’t even want to try for more because
you’re too afraid of what might happen. I know you like me, Nick. I know you. I
thought we’d make a great couple, and maybe it was me being completely
delusional about it all, but I thought you’d at least try too.”

“I’m not scared.” She looked at him steadily and he
relented, “Okay, I might be. A little.”

“A lot. Why did you do start all this if you knew you would
never go all the way? Do I really matter that little to you?”

“It’s not that,” he cut her off. “I wanted you. I…still do.”

“I’m not talking about sex, damn it! Sure, we have fun
together in bed, but I want more. I need more!” She sprang to her feet.

“What do you want me to say?” He stood up too, his eyes
flashing.

“I want you to love me the way I love you! Is that so much
to ask? You know what, Nick? It’s easy enough. If you think you can’t do it,
then don’t. I’m sure I’ll find someone else to replace you, someone man enough
to know what he wants in life, someone who won’t cower—” The rest of her
sentence was lost in his mouth.

He grabbed her hands when she started hitting his chest. He
nudged her face to the side so he could kiss her deeper, as if he knew that was
the way she liked it best. She became lost in his kiss, in
him
, and when
he drew back and she opened her eyes, he traced her lips and said, “I love
you.”

It was her turn to be speechless.

But not for long. She took a step back and asked, “Are you
just saying this because you know it’s what I want to hear?”

“Lucy, come on…”

“Are you?”

“No. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I… Fine.
I’ll be honest. I’m not sure I can do this. I know what my feelings for you
are. Like I said, I knew a long time ago. I want you in my life, Lucy, and I
don’t think I could see you with another man. You’ve always been mine.”

She nodded because he was right. She’d always been his, from
the day he’d turned up at their supper table all those years ago, when he was
just a lanky teenager and she was a shy, blushing girl, unable to look him in
the eyes. “So, where does that leave us?”

He took a deep breath. “I’ll do my best. I can’t guarantee I
won’t screw up, that I won’t make you cry. I’ll tell your brother that too.
But… I’ll try.”