Finally Heaven (Room 103 Book 4) (21 page)

My eyes widened when she lifted her long legs into the air, doing a handstand before she slowly brought them over her body in an elegant move until she was stood upright.

“Show off!”

She beamed at me and winked, leaning forward to kiss me. I held the back of her neck and imprisoned her, deepening the kiss and twisting my tongue around hers, sharing her climax with her, inviting her to actually experience how fucking glorious she tasted.

“Could you get someone to take Jakob this week?”

She frowned at me but nodded.

“Good. We have a gig in Germany tomorrow night, flying out in the morning, back the next day so it’s just a couple of days. You’re coming with me.”

“I’m coming with you,” she confirmed, saluting me cheekily.

“Good girl. I’m happy you know your place and who you take your orders from.”

She lifted an eyebrow. We both knew damn well she actually owned me but we both went along with it.

“IS THIS IT?” He sneered at what I had just handed him.

I grit my teeth, trying to fight the urge to cut the cunt. He smirked at me, his eyes dropping to the bruise on my cheekbone.

“Saves me the job,” he laughed as he turned and walked away.

“Whatever Bruce. I’m done. I’m out.”

He spun round, the hatred in his eyes fixed on me. “You’re done when it is over.”

“No, it’s over now. Just run the story.”

His brows rose but he laughed, loudly and fucking infuriatingly. “Yep, whatever you say. Like you even have a say.”

“Fuck this!”

“Oh yeah, about that fuck.”

I stilled. What had started out as a pretty great day had been slowly growing worse by the second. I just wanted to go home, grab a hot shower and get thoroughly pissed.

“Boss wants to see you.”

“Yeah?” I snorted. “He can kiss my ass too.”

Bruce’s hearty laughter followed me out of the building, the open window on the fourth floor even allowing it to haunt me all the way back to my car.

I ROLLED MY eyes at Daniel as he pouted with what he thought was a seductive expression. He’d dropped our suitcases at the hotel room door and jumped straight onto the bed, his back lifting off the plush mattress as his body bounced up and down. He reminded me of a child on their parent’s new bed.

“You know,” he suddenly said quite seriously, his usual soft lips tightening into a thin line and his eyes softening. “I’m amazed at how my heart beats faster whenever you’re with me.” He palmed his chest and smiled softly. “I mean I can actually feel it beat, like thud, thud.”

His words made my heart ache. He sensed my apprehension and leant up on his elbows, crooking his finger at me to join him on the bed.

“Come here.”

I stared at him and took a deep breath, not knowing how to tell him but I knew right then that I had to. We couldn’t continue like we were, we were both going to get hurt when I moved to Miami. “We need to talk.”

He nodded slowly, his smile dropping as he pushed himself back and upwards so he was sitting against the headboard. “Come here,” he repeated.

I took the walk to him extra slowly, realising that I had stupidly picked the worse moment to tell him. We were miles from home, in a strange country and I knew this would go bad. Fair enough the girls had come to Germany with the band and I had them to hide away with but Daniel didn’t need this when he had a performance to do.

Gripping my waist with both hands when I sat on the edge of the bed, he pulled me so I was straddled across his thighs, facing him. He frowned and reached out, swiping away the tear that dribbled down my cheek.

“Talk to me, Zoe.”

I took his hand and squeezed, trying to give him a confident smile. “I…” Fuck. My mouth was too dry to talk.

“Whatever it is, we can sort it, together. You have me now. I’m with you all the way. We face things as a couple because we are a couple.”

I shook my head, more tears flowing. “But that’s just it. We aren’t a couple Daniel.”

“Zoe…”

“No. You told me that you love me and you have no idea how I want that to be true but loving someone and being a couple are different things entirely.”

He grabbed me harder when I tried to pull away, his hands clamping my hips. “You’re not listening to me…”

“Yes I am. It’s you who won’t listen. You need to understand that for three years I loved you, I pined for you, Christ my life was on standby while I waited patiently for you but you never gave me anything. Do you remember the time I turned up at your house, drunk and a mess? How degrading it was for me when you sent me home after begging you to love me. Do you remember?”

He closed his eyes when my throat tightened and my words came out choked and squeaky.

“I remember,” he whispered.

I nodded. “And the time you made out with that girl in front of me after you said I had become too clingy?”

“Shit, Zo…”

“No, Daniel.” I hated it but I made myself press on. “This needs saying because you need to understand what you turned me into.”

His brows pinched as he reopened his eyes and looked at me. “What I turned you into?”

He lowered his eyes to my hands when I pulled the waistband of my sweatpants down and showed him the tattoo on my hipbone.

‘Under loves heavy burden do I sink.’

He blinked at it, sadness covering his face. “I was an arsehole back then but I never meant to hurt you, Zoe. I tried to stop hurting you, I pushed you away so I
wouldn’t
hurt you.”

I shook my head, pressing my hand to the side of his face, wincing when his stubble scraped the cut to my palm. “But that’s just it, Daniel. It wasn’t you that became the burden. It was my love for you that pulled me under. It was my own heart that destroyed me.”

“Are you saying you don’t love me?” he whispered painfully.

“No, never. I’ll always love you Daniel. But I can’t allow that love. I’m too fragile now, and the slightest thing will obliterate me. You can’t give me the relationship I need now, or the security that my life needs for Jakob.”

“But…”

“We’ve had too many secrets for too long that we can’t see the truth anymore. You don’t even know what you want. Is it me, is it Nick?” He opened his mouth to interrupt again but I carried on. “I know I gave you the option of both of us, but you would never be able to commit to either of us in the end, it’s how you are. I’m not blaming you, Daniel, it’s just how you have been built.”

“Zoe…”

“And…”

“WILL YOU SHUT UP!” he shouted making me jump in surprise.

My mouth snapped shut and I glared at him. “I am trying to explain…”

“So am I.” He glared back as he lifted me off his knee and walked over to our cases, unfastening his angrily. The zip caught in the housing with his stroppy movements. “You’re not letting me explain anything.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, fuming that he never listened. It was always about him and how life affected him. Why the hell did he have to be so damn selfish?

“Daniel…”

“No Zoe. Listen to
me
. I want you to fucking
listen to - me
.”

“Fine.” I huffed. “Fine.”

“I love you. I told you that before and I’m telling you again because it seems like you didn’t hear me properly. I love you Zoe Louise Linkin. All of you, even your stroppiness.”

“Daniel, please…”

“I love you. I’ve always loved you but both of us never allowed it. Well you know what, I don’t give a shit anymore. We’re going to let it work. No more excuses, no more denying it, finally we’re going to consent to it and get married.”

“Will you….” I blinked, my mouth snapping shut. He stared at me, his whole face paling as he watched me hesitantly. “What?” A rock had formed in my voice box and I coughed to clear it. “What did you say?”

He licked his lips and fell to his knees in front of me. Holy fuck! My eyes widened when he opened his hand and the most exquisite platinum ring sat in the middle of his sweaty palm. An elegant clear diamond blinked back at me, its clarity simply stunning. It was exactly what I would have chosen, nothing big, small but very stylish. And it was that fact, that he knew my taste that caused my heart to stutter.

“You ruin everything,” he grumbled with a pout. “I had it all planned out to ask you on stage tonight but no, you have to throw a strop. Bloody woman.”

“Daniel?”

“Marry me. Marry me. Just fucking give in to it and marry me!”

My heart was racing and I put my hand over my chest in an impossible attempt to settle it. My pulse pounded in my ears. “I…”

“What does your heart say Zoe? Listen to it, please, just listen to your heart for once. You’re always so straight-headed, so careful. You never used to be. You were always so carefree and fun and I took that from you. I drained your happiness and filled you back up with misery and hurt. Well now it’s time that you let me take that hurt and give back what I took from you. I want to make you happy. I
need
to make you happy. Marry me.”

“Yes.” I didn’t even have to think about it. Tears streamed my face and I couldn’t see him through the cascade of them. His mouth popped open, his eyes following in shock.

“What?”

“Yes.” I said it louder, with confidence, knowing in my heart that I needed to allow it, like he said. My head worried but I took the courage from somewhere and nodded to confirm it. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

His eyes roamed every inch of my face, looking for the proof that I had said yes. I smiled at him and nodded again.

“Fuck!” he whispered. “Fuck!”

A huge grin covered his face, his eyes lighting up when he took my hand and watched with amazement on his face as he slid the ring onto my finger. His chest heaved and a funny sound tore from his mouth. He dived on me, flattening us both to the bed and kissed me like he wanted to devour me.

His hands framed my face almost painfully as his tongue thrust into my mouth. He moaned, pressing into me harder at the same time as he pulled me closer. I couldn’t breathe and had to pull back, laughing and gasping for air when his phone rang somewhere in the room.

He snatched it off the side cabinet and switched it off. “Fuck them. I need to bury myself in my Fiancé at least three times before I’m on stage.”

I laughed when he yanked me down, rolled us over and did exactly what he promised.