Finally, Forever (25 page)

The escalator reaches the ground floor, and we’re inside the theater lobby.
Dylan scopes out each usher standing guard as if she’s testing for weaknesses. There’s a dwindling crowd inside. People stand next to the bar, slamming the last sip of their overpriced drinks. A mix of cologne and perfume fragrances drifts through the air. The overhead lights flash, a sign that the show is about to start.

“Please take your seats,” the ushers shout as if they’re teasing us.

“We should split up,” she whispers to me. “You take the female ushers, and I’ll take the males. If Plan A doesn’t work, we’ll reconvene in five minutes and figure out Plan B.”

“What’s Plan B?” I ask. “Abort mission?”

“Never. We’ll break in,” Dylan says.

“Good luck with that,” I say after her as she approaches an usher standing between two red velvet ropes. I mak
e my way to the front entrance.

I walk outside and turn in a circle, taking in the steel walls of the theater that curve and sweep the sky.

I head towards the Will Call, next to the box office. I give the girl behind the partition my credit card and she looks up my name and hands me the two tickets I bought last week when I heard the show was in town. She smiles at me as she slides the tickets under the glass window.

“Enjoy the show,” she says.
I grab the tickets just as Dylan is walking out the front doors. Her face looks wounded by rejection. Her eyes trail the architecture of the theater, all the way to the roof as if she’s planning to scale the walls.

I hold the tickets in my hand
and walk up to her. “What happened with the usher?” I ask.

She shrugs. “He
didn’t believe I was Ryan Adams’ personal trainer.”

“He’s a rock star,” I point out. “Maybe you should have gone with
personal drug dealer?”

“I must be losing my touch,”
Dylan says. She looks around at the empty terrace. “At least we tried.”  

“Well, then I’m glad I bought some tickets,” I say and hand her one. She stares down at the white ticket. RYAN ADAMS is
printed in bold black letters, above the word ADMSSION. She looks at me.

“
Surprise,” I say.

“You had these all along?”

“I picked them up at Will Call. I ordered them last week, which was a good thing, since it did sell out.”

She stares at the ticket in her hand like she’s holding a sheet of gold.

“Wow,” she says. She traces her finger over the ticket. “This is the greatest surprise of my life.” She looks up at me. “Gray, do you still want to marry me?”

I look down at her and my voice is suddenly stuck in my throat
. Her eyes are serious.

“Will you ask me again?” she says.

“To marry you?”

She nods. “Not right now. But someday, will you ask me again?”

All I can do is smile. I feel my entire body, my complete wholeness, from my head to my feet, to the goosebumps raised out on my skin. I realize Dylan’s never been my sad song. She’s my favorite song. The one I want to play over and over again.

“Promise?” she asks. The wind tosses her wavy hair over her eyes and I brush
it away. Her eyes are the most sincere I’ve ever seen. I take a deep breath and it feels like I’m inhaling the sky, the stars, and all the lights around me.

“Promise you’ll say yes?” I ask.

“Yes,” Dylan says without hesitating.

“I promise
,” I say.

She sticks her thumb out to grab mine and I wrap my thumb around hers and seal it. I let go an
d reach for her face and rake my fingers through her hair, pulling her lips towards mine. I close my eyes and lean down and kiss her.

I know I still have a lot to figure out. My future isn’t set, but I consider that a good thing. It keeps it open to possibilities. Right now all I know is this: I have all that I need with me, all that I want, in my hands. No matter where my life goes, it won’t be boring. It won’t be perfect. But I found love and I’m holding onto it. Finally, forever.

THE END

Finally, Forever
Playlist:

1. Omaha – Counting Crows
   
2. Your Wildest Dreams – The Moody Blues
   
3. Iko Iko – The Belle Stars
   
4. Cameras – Matt and Kim
   
5. Two Atoms in a Molecule – Noah and the Whale
   
6. Everlasting Arms – Vampire Weekend
   
7. Call it Off – Tegan and Sara
   
8. Samsonite Man – Fashawn
   
9. Faith – George Michael
   
10. The End of That – Plants and Animals
    
11. 2,000 Miles – KT Tunstall
    
12. Ho Hey – The Lumineers
    
13. Unless It’s Kicks – Okkervil River
    
14. Your Love – The Outfield
    
15. Bye Bye Bye – Plants and Animals
    
16. Hospital – Counting Crows
    
17. La Cienega Just Smiled –Ryan Adams
    
18. A Murder of One – Counting Crows
    
19. My Favorite Song – KaiserCartel
    

**The last song on this playlist, and what I consider to be Gray and Dylan’s theme song for the entire series is:

1. Everlasting Love – U2
   

Finally, Forever
  deleted scene:

(In the story, this scene would have appeared
near the end of the book, a week before Serena and Mike’s wedding—before Gray surprises Dylan in Los Angeles.)

Gray

My dad and I walk into The Coffee Bean and
Tea Leaf in Scottsdale, Arizona. It’s ninety-five degrees outside, and it isn’t even 10 am yet. My dad walks to the counter to order iced coffees before we drive out to an Audi dealership to look at some new cars in the showroom.

My agent called me yesterday and announc
ed my signing bonus. It’s higher than most people’s yearly salaries. My dad insisted I invest in a new car, and I really can’t argue with him. My hatchback has seen enough years and miles to be considered suitable for Dylan. I plan on giving it to her. Besides, you can’t live in LA without a car—it’s like not having legs.

W
e walk inside the coffee shop and I’m amazed at all the tan, toned, beautiful people. For a second I feel like I’m standing in line for an audition. Scottsdale is the ritzy burrow of Phoenix—it’s like living inside a television sitcom where everyone could be a runway model. Girls in halter tops and short skirts and high heels stand in line to order, looking at cell phones or typing on cell phones or talking on cell phones. A few of them glance over at me and smile, these flirty smiles highlighted with white teeth. I smile back and a feeling of relief comes over me because I can officially say I’m not
single. I don’t have to strike up a conversation with these girls, I don’t have to wonder about them or build up expectations and be disappointed. Some people are great at being single, they thrive, but I always preferred being in a relationship. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a twin—I was used to having this other half at my side all the time. I was used to someone constantly aware and assessable and that became my idea of normal.

I hear s
omebody shout my name in the coffee shop. I turn and look over in the corner by the front windows and recognize Brandon Stack, an old friend and baseball teammate from high school. I almost didn’t recognize him. He’s wearing a suit, the complete opposite attire of the usual mesh shorts and t-shirts that epitomize the fashion style of a typical college athlete. I walk over to meet him and he stands up and reaches out his hand and we slap palms before we shake.

“Dude, what are you doing in town?” Brandon asks me. “Shouldn’t you be in New Mexico playing ball?” The last time we talked was a few years ago, when Brandon helped me train to get back in shape to play college baseball.
We fell out of touch when I went away to school.

“I’m heading back
soon,” I say. “What are you doing here?” I figured he’d be playing professionally by now. He was MVP of our high school state-winning baseball team and had a full-ride to play in college.

“
Just hanging out,” he says. I notice that he’s put on some weight in his face and his stomach. He doesn’t have the typical summer tan we all get from playing over a hundred games under the sun.

“You’re not playing baseball,” I say.

“No, man, I had two shoulder surgeries last year.”

Oh, shit.
“Are you red shirting?” I ask.

He shrugs and shakes his head. “I’ve had
too many injuries. I was ineligible the last two years for dislocated shoulders, sprains, you name it. I think I’m officially banned from the majors. I have the injury curse.” He laughs but it’s forced and there’s an uncomfortable silence that starts to settle. How am I supposed to respond to that?
Hey, sorry to hear all your lifelong dreams will never come true. That really sucks.

“So, you’re finishing school?” I
ask.

“Nah, my
dad started up a real estate company a few years ago, so I joined him. I’m making a ton of money,” he beams. “Probably just as much as I would have made in the pros. And I don’t have to deal with all the physical abuse. I definitely prefer this career.”

The dull glaze in his eyes
contradicts his words. I can see a frustrated edge, when you realize life doesn’t hand you anything, that you just need to enjoy every moment of success when you have it because everything is temporary.

“Good for you,” I tell him because
I think that’s what he needs to hear. 

“Besides, there’s more to life than baseball. Right?” He laughs again. “I remember that girl you were with a few years ago, on Mill Ave? She said that
to me. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing a person could say.”

A strange déjà vu comes over me.  I remember that day. It was the first time I had ever hung out with Dylan. I remember being so envious of Brandon when we ran into him
on Mill Ave, wishing we could trade lives, jealous at everything he had compared to everything I had lost. I even remember being embarrassed to be seen with Dylan, like you’re embarrassed to run into someone when you’re in your pajamas, or tired or hung-over—when you’re not at your best. What I hadn’t realized yet was that when I’m with Dylan, I
am
at my best.

“I remember,” I say. “Whatever happened to that girl you were with?” I ask him, remembering the supermodel he had glued to his side that day.

“What girl?” he asks.

I smile. He forgot
about the girl he was
dating
and yet he still remembers something Dylan said. “Never mind,” I say.

“What are you up to?” he asks
me. I open my mouth and I’m about to rattle off that I signed with the Dodgers and my dad and I are going car shopping with my bonus check. But I remember why Dylan said those words to Brandon on Mill Ave. She always roots for the underdog. She said something ridiculous because she was supporting me, lifting me up, making sure I could walk away with my head held high. Maybe I need to pass the karma along.

“I’m just spending the day with my dad,” I
decide to tell him.

“
Great!” he says, his eyes light. “Hey, if you’re ever looking for a house in Phoenix, I can hook you up.” He hands me his card with a well-executed draw and follows up with a savvy, salesperson smile. I wonder if he practices the fake smile in front of the mirror. It slips out as easily as his business card.

I take the card
and slide my sunglasses down, over my eyes, before I put it in my pocket.

“Good to see you, Brandon
,” I say.

He walks back to his table and sits behind a laptop. 

I turn and meet my dad and he hands me an iced coffee and we walk outside into the hot, dry air. I don’t feel better than Brandon, or smarter or even luckier. I just feel like we are shaped so much by the events in our lives, but even more than that, we’re shaped by the people that come in and out of our lives. I don’t necessarily hope good
things
happen to Brandon. I hope a good
person
happens to him. I hope he’s smart enough to realize it when it does. And to hold on.